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Meet the Posters -- Darby, 07:24:35 02/18/03 Tue

Who are you? Something about the recent contentious posts has made me think that we could connect better with some random personal information. I've thrown some together here - and, as you can see, found it a bit too addictive. Me, me, me! In a very appropriate nutshell...

I'm very happily married, though I good-naturedly insist otherwise to the wife. But then she likes to remind me how long we've been together just to hear me whimper.

I've done research on roundworms, tapeworms and fluke-flatworms, yet this had no impact on my realization that I'm much happier in a classroom than in a lab.

I fear that my mental faculties may be failing. But I don't worry about it.

I read in the bath and think in the shower. I often emerge from the shower with a post or response. I was struck with the inspiration for this post in the shower.

I'm not antisocial, but I do tend to be asocial, not inclined to socialize. I should see more of my friends, but I don't feel a compelling need to. I'm very friendly at work, but have virtually never made a social friend there. Without my wife, I'd probably be on the way to being the hermit my father became (and continues to be).

I spent years trying to write fiction - the best I can say is that I made it through to the final cut (a rejection letter from the actual editor) a couple of times. I think that I'm a better writer now, but my drive to write fiction has waned. I'm writing a couple of online textbooks for my courses, but the driving force has been guilt about my students having to pay around $100 each for their books.

I've lost my taste for poetry, which has never been strong. But my wife is an amazing poet. See at http://www.thewritegallery.com/writing/swings.html. She will probably be mad that I did that, but I'm so proud of her (and not for just that). And that's not her best stuff - someday I'll put up a page of her poetry on the web, and hope that people find it. When I run across poetry in posts, I often read a couple of lines and the find myself skimming, stopping when the prose picks up again.

I've gotten both mellower and grumpier with age, and can't figure out how that makes sense. But it does.

I'm a concepts-to-details learner, and store many things in the context of examples. I'm a very, very visual thinker, which makes me an annoyingly good speller - words are stored as pictures.

I stick the small remnants of soap to the new bars, rather than use or discard the little pieces.

Lately, I've been given way more responsibility and power at work, and I really have no clear idea why.

I'd like to read more than I do. Lately, I'd like to retain more than I do.

I feel superior to most people, but it's gone from a driving, alienating force to a part of my confidence.

I'd like to travel, except that I really don't want to.

I think I've really gotten to know my mother over the last decade, and have found that we've driven each other mostly due to our similarities when it seemed based on differences. I used to think I was much more like my father, and am finding that isn't true. And that's a good thing.

My son and I are very much alike. I foresee trouble ahead. I'm trying to see when it's our similarities that are annoying me - mostly I'm just being annoyed and trying to control my responses.

Yes, I see almost everything in a combination haze of postmodernism and evolutionary theory. Nuts, but it works for me.

I really can't imagine life without my wife. Or I can, but don't want to.

I think that I'm a very good driver. I did it for a living for a number of years, so I even have some reason for thinking so. But I know that lots of people think this about themselves, and I could be as wrong as they are. Probably not, though.

I've come to really like a lot of people I've never met. But the members of the group I have met I feel an additional fondness toward.

I really, really enjoy what I do for a living. I've enjoyed all the jobs I've had - even the ones I was terrible at - but what I'm doing now is what I'm built for.

I have no trouble imagining people behind words on a computer screen (I'm convinced that my talent at taking standardized tests is that I'm always aware of the people who wrote them), but I'm not very good at recognizing subtleties of style and am easily confused by multiple aliases. I'd like to think that most of this won't surprise the folks who "know" me here.

Part of me thinks that if I'd started earlier, when I had some athletic ability, I could have been a very very successful fencer. Part of me realizes that I'm only successful now due to a deep understanding of the sport, which I probably wouldn't have developed any earlier. Fortunately, I don't really care that much - I just enjoy fencing.

I used to like dogs and cats, but after several years delivering milk door-to-door, it's just cats while I tolerate dogs. I have lots of interesting reptiles, but they don't have the social skills needed for a real connection.

I'm about equal parts amazed at my insights and confounded by my denseness ("density" didn't seem right there). But most of my thoughts fall into that vast gray area in between.

I'm only a little embarrassed to really love a couple of tv shows about vampires. One of the business professors and I often discuss the events to this week's shows in the hallway between the offices, so I guess I'm not trying to hide it.

I enjoy picking up tidbits about other posters. The ones that can pull you into their life experiences are truly special. This is the closest I'll come, and it's barely in the same neighborhood.

- Darby, totally unsure of just what the hell he's doing, but knowing that with a new episode near, if he's hugely embarrassed this will soon be archived.

[> Hiya Darby -- WickedBuffy, 08:05:27 02/18/03 Tue

Very pleased to meet you! It was great reading about you since I've been enjoying your posts. Thank you. I appreciate"seeing" you better. For me, being fairly "new" here, it does help.

(I wrote about myself someplace in the "KABOOM" posts, so won't waste space putting it here.)

WB (I like your writing style, too.)

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Rob, 08:10:53 02/18/03 Tue

I'm Rob.

I'm going to be 22 on March 19th.

I'm currently an American Literature major, doing what feels like my 700th year of college. That gets kind of complicated. I started out in the fall of '99 at SUNY Albany, which I detested beyond words, so I transferred by the next semester to my local community college. I was there for 2 semesters, because I kept procrastinating about finding a better school to go to. After those 2 semesters, I took a year off, working at Blockbuster Video, to save up money. Finally, I transferred to NYU, and I've been there ever since.

I am seriously considering going into cinema studies, either as a film theorist/historian/reviewer/entertainment journalist, etc. or perhaps something with television or film production even.

I was very shy in high school, and didn't have many friends. I spent the first 9 years of my schooling (elementary through middle school) in a Solomon Schechter school, which, for those of you who don't know, is a private full-day Hebrew school. There were 12 kids in my class, the same 12 kids for the full 9 years. Just imagine my culture shock when I entered public high school and my class had over 350 students! I kind of went into hibernation for the first three years of high school, before I discovered the drama dept. and chorus. I made a lot of friends the last year, one of whom is now my closest and best friend. If you attended the Board Meeting last year in Yonkers, you met him, Justin.

By 8th grade at Solomon Schechter, I could speak Hebrew fluently. I scored a 99 on my Hebrew Regents, the highest in the class, without studying. My best friend at the time, Jeremy, who I haven't spoken to since graduation, studied for months and months and only scored a 78. I scored a 99. Now, I can barely put together a sentence in Hebrew.

I love reading. My favorite authors are Neil Gaiman, Dave Eggers, Douglas Adams, John Irving, and T. Coraghessan Boyle. I used to be very into Anne Rice, but I haven't read her for a long time. I've thought for a while about starting up again. She is, actually, the reason I started watching ìBuffy,î and boy are those vampire mythologies different!

I love watching movies. In fact, at Blockbuster, I was basically the film expert there. When people needed film suggestions, or information about actors, directors, every bad horror movie in the 80, they came to me. My favorite movies are Moulin Rouge, The Wizard of Oz, Good Will Hunting, Pleasantville, and Star Wars.

And, as you guys already know, I love TV. My favorite shows are (duh!) Buffy and Angel. My other favorite show is Six Feet Under. The shows that I love very much but not to the undying level of Joss Whedon and Alan Ballís work are Farscape and Alias. I am very upset that all but one of my shows is in danger of cancellation, or, in Farscapeís case, already been cancelled. What will I do next season?

Iíve been trying to write fiction for a few years now. In fact, I wrote a few short stories, in high school, that were published in some small young authorís publications. In high school, I was the editor of the literary magazine, as well as the entertainment editor of the school newspaper. I used to write a lot, but for the past five or six months, Iíve had complete writerís block for fiction. Analytical stuff is easy for me. Fiction is tough.

I am a dog person. Cats scare me. Cat people do not. Well, to be totally honest, people with more than 4 cats scare me a little, but then people with more than 4 of any animal scare me. My momís best friend has 12 cats and 4 dogs. My momís best friend scares me.

I canít smell or taste vodka without feeling nauseous, due to a drunken night in London that I enjoyed at the time, hated in the morning, when I went on a 2 hour bus drive to Stonehenge, which I walked around and tried to enjoy, with the worst hangover of my life, which, admittedly, has not been that long yet.

I love going to Boadway shows. Like Xander, Iím a big girly man, and Iím positive Iíve dated a few demons. I took a girl to ìSpiderman,î who kept yelling ìowie!î every time somebody (villain or man in red suit) got hit. Does that count?

My house and car and entire universe are currently buried under 23 inches of snow.


[> That was brilliant -- Tchaikovsky, 08:18:25 02/18/03 Tue

Alternately very interesting, honest and downright funny in an illegally large number of places.

I love the way it goes between soap and responsibility, the social skills of lizards, fencing and family life. Puts me in mind of that very strange 'Sunscreen' record which came out a few years ago- but this is much more profound.

And: "But my wife is an amazing poet. See at http://www.thewritegallery.com/writing/swings.html. She will probably be mad that I did that, but I'm so proud of her (and not for just that). And that's not her best stuff - someday I'll put up a page of her poetry on the web, and hope that people find it....I really can't imagine life without my wife. Or I can, but don't want to."

That's the most romantic thing I've heard in ages. I think that I might become a Darby/Sara 'shipper. And of course, unlike the Buffyverse, it has a good chance of ending well.

Thanks Darby


[> [> And here's my turn... -- Tchaikovsky, 10:30:11 02/18/03 Tue

I'm a cat person- definitely. Dogs are loyal but dependent. I enjoy cats' independence and general lack of interest.

I live alternately in Leamington Spa, Warwickshire, and Bradford-on-Avon, Wiltshire, depending on whether I'm at University or not. It barely ever snows, and never properly, which has made me obsessed with snow.

Until I came here, pretty much everyone I knew considered me much cleverer than them. This has its advantages and disadvantages. It leads to being able to win an argument more easily, but can also lead to a lack of conversation. What grounds did they have for this assertion?

Not much really. I got 4 As at A-level, in maths, further maths, chemistry and English literature. Maths is what I'm best at. English was my love, but I traded it in partly on suggestions of salaries and partly because I get tired writing essays.

I am in my second year at university, making me 19 years old. I am doing a 4 years masters degree. Maths can be interesting, but I also labour under the difficulty that often the lecturers, who are some of the best mathematicians in this country, are also the worst teachers. Being able to do something well doesn't makeyou able to teach somebody how to do the same thing well.

I live in a house with two friends- one Austrian, one Yorkshireman, both equally foreign to me. I like them both.

My hobbies are bridge, (which I play occasionally) crosswords, (the Warwick Boar and the Guaridan), which I attempt regularly and finish occasionally, and Buffy. I play the clarinet to Grade 8 merit standard, and have thus gained entrance to the University Symphony Orchestra, amongst other groups. I also sing in the Warwick Chorus.

I allow my family much more of my life than my friends. I am fairly paranoid about people without explicit links to me not really liking me, or forgetting about me. I have several good friends, but share few interests with them.

I love language primarily. Give me poetry and I'm away, [who would have guessed?!]. I read voraciously, although it has slowed slightly since I blew too much money on Buffy DVDs. I am learning Angel. I am not yet fluent.

I'm very short. I am amused by my shortness.

My parents are divorced- a horrible experience which turned to gold. I now have two loving families and six siblings. I love them all, and like them all; which is no mean feat.

I watch sport which I can stay impartial in, and then occasionally get very excited about England. And then they lose to Australia again.

Bremner, Bird and Fortune's a great show, isn't it?

I cannot describe myself adequately in words.

I am shy, unprepossessing, joyful, spectacle-wearing, and one of few people to consider SMG's best screen work to be 'Scooby Doo'. Scooby Doo was awesome, and I watched it with my little sister. She loved it. I loved it.

I am unable to drive. I've tried but it wasn't worth the risk.

I prefer water to land.

My favourite dish is Lasagne, but I can't cook.

My favourite colour is yellow.

I'm much more self-absorbed than I give myself credit for.

I'm extremely unfit, but am not worried about it.

I love my family.

This board is sometimes the best thing that happens in my day.

No matter how many words I write, three letters sum me up best.


[> [> [> TCH, do you think we might be separated-at-birth twins? -- Rob, 18:40:15 02/18/03 Tue

Until I came here, pretty much everyone I knew considered me much cleverer than them.

Me too.

"Maths is what I'm best at. English was my love, but I traded it in partly on suggestions of salaries and partly because I get tired writing essays."

I'm terrible at math, but I'm right with you on the English. I started out as an English major, but have really grown sick beyond belief of writing non-Buffy related essays! Now I don't know what I want to do.

"I am in my second year at university, making me 19 years old."

My best friend's 19.

"I also sing in the Warwick Chorus.

I've sung in some choruses, myself, throughout high school and college. I don't have the greatest voice ever, but I've been told it's above average.

"I allow my family much more of my life than my friends. I am fairly paranoid about people without explicit links to me not really liking me, or forgetting about me. I have several good friends, but share few interests with them.

I'm mostly with you on this one, too. I have one friend, the aforementioned Justin who I really think of as family. Besides him, I'm closest to my family. My other friends are really more people to hang out with than anything else. To be honest, most of them I don't care for that much, as people, or at least don't identify with them much.

"I love language primarily. Give me poetry and I'm away, [who would have guessed?!]. I read voraciously, although it has slowed slightly since I blew too much money on Buffy DVDs. I am learning Angel. I am not yet fluent.

Same here!! Ditto on language and poetry. And I also have slowed down my reading a great deal since I started getting the Buffy DVDs. The time I used to spend reading is now spent posting on Buffy, working on my Buffy site, watching my Buffy DVDs, and watching it when it airs. Further, Angel's coming out now. If I had time to read books, I don't have money to buy them!

"My parents are divorced- a horrible experience which turned to gold."

Mine, too. Although there was no pain for me there. They divorced when I was 6 months old, and my father basically never made himself a part of my life ever. I really do identify with Buffy's lack of father, although I have less emotional investment about my father, because it was never a loss to me. I never knew him.

"I am shy, unprepossessing, joyful, spectacle-wearing, and one of few people to consider SMG's best screen work to be 'Scooby Doo'. Scooby Doo was awesome, and I watched it with my little sister. She loved it. I loved it.

Take away the "spectacle-wearing" and you've got me to a tee. Actually, maybe don't. I went to the eye doctor recently, and I might need glasses in the near future! And hey, TCH, I thought I was the only one who thought Scooby Doo was a work of art! I saw it in the movie theatre, I own the DVD, I've seen it numerous times. My favorite moment? The look of glee on SMG's face when she's Fred in Daphne's body, checking out her breasts. That just makes me smile.

"My favourite dish is Lasagne, but I can't cook.

Me too.

My favourite colour is yellow.

ME TOO! I don't think I've ever come across another person who said this. I always get "ugh" looks when I tell people that, too!

"I'm much more self-absorbed than I give myself credit for.

I know the feeling.

I'm extremely unfit, but am not worried about it.

Okay, now you're scaring me. Give me back my identity!

"I love my family."


"This board is sometimes the best thing that happens in my day."

And there ya have it. We're related. Long lost brothers perhaps?


[> [> [> [> Perhaps- one more point for the 'Yes' side -- Tchaikovsky, 01:04:07 02/19/03 Wed

I'm absolutely delighted by the beginning of the second Season of Angel, to the extent of feeling like you reviewing a new Buffy episode!


[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Cactus Watcher, 08:26:51 02/18/03 Tue

This is a nice idea. I hope it doesn't get blown off the board when the posting for tonight's ep really starts.

I'm retired as many of you already know. I've done everything from making parts of fighter jets and space capsules to teaching in college and working in a think tank. But, since my true calling is loafing, I've had no problem adjusting to retired life. My idea of loafing in includes in-depth studying of whatever strikes my fancy, so although I'm no genius, people generally think I'm smart.

I was a distance runner in high school, not great but not the worst either. Because of all the execise I weighed less than my high school girlfriend for awhile.

I grew up in a family of engineers, and would certainly have been one if I hadn't realized in high school I have a loathing of writing lab reports. Otherwise, I have always loved science and was good at math when my tendencies toward dyslexia weren't acting up.

I tried psychology as an undergraduate, and although I was accepted to graduate school in it, I decided it wasn't for me. Instead, I chose to go to grad school in something I was really enjoying, Russian. I like languages as most of you have guessed. Yes, I have developed my own language for my sci-fi aliens, and I'm quite proud of it.

In terms of personality I'm a lot like Darby says he is. Not too surprising since I really enjoy reading his stuff and empathize with most of the things he says. All in all I've had a very happy life, and I admit I have trouble relating to people with depression (like last years Buffy!).

Since high school, I've enjoyed writing ficiion. I do it mostly for myself, although I have fantasies of my family publishing it all after I'm gone. (Personally I would loathe publicity and book tours). My one submission of a novel for publication is a funny story. I wrote a War and Peace length sci-fi novel, which I consider my master work(ho, ho, ho). I knew it was way too long for anyone to publish so with great agony I cut it in two pieces tacked an ending on the first part. I submitted the first part without mentioning I had a second complete novel on the same subject already to go. I expected to get a form letter just saying thanks, but no thanks. Instead I got a very nice letter which explained that although they liked the book, I'd need to cut at least 40% out before it would be a length they thought feasible for publication. And people call me terse!

Cats are nice, but I prefer dogs. My sister who lives nearby, named her dog Buffy after BtVS although she's not a big fan.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Darby, 08:57:01 02/18/03 Tue

Darby, I loved reading this! And Sara's poem. I'd love to read more.

I want to add one thing to Darby's list - he's really really good at starting long lasting lists (bwahahaha) - it's true! look through the archives!

I treat books really badly. I read in the bath, I carry them around with me in my bags and pockets, I fold pages and let them lie face down. d'Herblay stares at me in horror.

There was a time when I never read poetry until I was about 15. It took one English lesson and a substitute teacher who read out three poems to us (Hardy 'The Ruined Maid', Donne 'Busy Olde Foole' and one I can't remember). I went to the library, and took out a collected Donne. It took me three hours to understand one poem. It was the level of difficulty that I encountered that made me continue.

I am one of life's worriers. This was best put by Guy Browning in The Observer:

Worriers exhibit physical symptoms of their condition: a permanently knitted brow, crushing headaches and fingernails chewed to the elbow. They look so frazzled because they're living two lives at once: one is the everyday one, the other a parallel universe of unspeakable horror. Worriers are very imaginative, as they can visualise in great detail how everything could go wrong. In effect, they're daydreamers specialising in nightmares.

This struck such a chord that I cut it out and carry it around with me!!

The best way for anyone to knock me down is to tell me to be ashamed of myself or something I've done. My sense of shame can be crippling.

I'm interested in clothes in a very shallow and expensive way. Ditto make up. I bought a bigger suitcase so I could take my new sueude knee high boots with me on holiday. This is a reaction to my gauche adolescence when I Didn't Have a Clue.

I truanted from school frequently. My father never cared what grades I got, though he did teach me how to write essays.

My three years of university gave me a self respect and confidence that hasn't been knocked out yet. Mostly it was the way my imagination and my mind was stretched. I thoroughly enjoyed every course I took.

I'm not a very shy person. Nor am I socially ambitious.

When I was 11 I had about 2000 + books.I didn't have a TV so I spent all my time reading. When I had to leave, I was allowed to take 11 books with me.

Since my late teens, I've had the feeling that I'll never be able to better the present, and the future will go downhill. So far, every year of my life has been better. I work very hard to make it that way. I live life very consciously.

It took me so long to write this, four people have answered in the meantime.

[> [> Ack. That was written by Rahael, not Darby! -- Rahael, 08:59:11 02/18/03 Tue

[> [> [> Oh, good. Less confused now. No longer checking for blackout signs. -- Darby, 09:16:45 02/18/03 Tue

[> [> Whewwwww I was begining to think d'H had a lot of explaining to do...;) -- Rufus, 16:08:07 02/18/03 Tue

[> [> Part Two -- Rahael, 16:19:52 02/18/03 Tue

Reading the contributions of others, (esp Caroline's, whose post moved me terribly) and reading Darby's remark about my fear of exposing myself I realised that for the first time of posting here, the first time something personal was actually asked of me, I'd avoided any mention of anything that really mattered to me.

I also reread the poetry thread and wondered if anyone might misinterpret my comment about viewing miltary people as monsters. So here goes. Other facts about me.

I shall be 25 this June.

My most formative years were spent living in the middle of a civil war. Bombs fell. Shells whistled. Electricity got cut. Food became scarse. This all came to an end when my mother was assassinated by terrorists. I was listening, but I didn't realise who they were murdering. It was just an ordinary evening.

No one told me. My sister guessed. I told her that she was being ridiculous, but tears sprang to my eyes.

This is the most important event in my life. Everything revolves around this, and everything meaningful that I try to get from art and literature is an attempt to understand and comprehend it. I try to make meaning and give words and voice to a black hole. Sometimes my mouth opens and I cannot sing.

Death is an incredibly meaningful and scary event in my life. This might be why I like poetry so much; I find that poets have the same preoccupation.

I love life, and cannot linger in any despondent mood for too long. Too many good things exist here.

The last great good thing that I discovered is d'Herblay. I love him and he gives me wholeness.

[> [> [> Re: Part Two -- Random, 18:32:27 02/18/03 Tue

That is one of the most painful things I've heard in a good long while. I have no idea how painful that must be to talk about (or only a very little one, anyway.) Thank you for sharing that -- not only because it helps us to understand you better, but because it helps us to understand ourselves better.

I think, perhaps, d'H. must be an incredible guy if he helps you deal with that.


[> [> [> [> He is -- Rahael, 02:08:09 02/19/03 Wed

It's not painful anymore, not searingly so. It's just an old faded wound that's kind of disfiguring. Sometimes it aches, and I cry for the ugliness of it all. But sometimes I find that I've made it beautiful to me.

Funnily enough, I listen to other people and I think "that's heartbreaking. how on earth do they deal with that?".

[> [> [> Wish -- luna, 05:48:20 02/19/03 Wed

Wish I could imagine what to tell you about how your post made me feel. Some of us have lived such seltered lives--we don't know. I hope our long distance concern and sorrow for you can make it through the wires and space, and our admiration that you've come through so well on the surface, at least. I won't forget what you've told us.

[> [> [> [> Re: Wish -- Rahael, 06:19:19 02/19/03 Wed

This board helps me everyday. In some ways, I too am sheltered, just in a different way from other people. The board listens when others don't, encourages when others back away and allows me to express and mediate concerns through a shared experience. That says something about us as a community and the shows that we watch.

Thank you, Luna.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- WickedBuffy, 09:08:50 02/18/03 Tue

oops, changed my mind - I'll put it here so it's with the rest...

I'm female, BS in Sociology and Psych from the U of Oregon. Lived in the same town my whole life, but have traveled globally. A common joke here (besides taunting Californians, is that this is where all the rich hippies came to retire.) Was a tomboy growing up and if gender equality laws in sports had changed earlier would probably have been close to a professional athlete.

Workaholic with three thriving businesses going (financial investing, advertising & marketing agency, business consultant). Got hit with some unnamed bug on a trip to Hong Kong and had to give all that up.

Now I live the opposite life, practically a hermit. ..shermit? Before that happened I was a childrens book author. Wrote articles for business magazines and published satirical corporate newsletters, too. So much fun! I lived to work! :sob:: need.....to.....work....

::pondering if mentioning I'm Five times a Leo would be helpful, too::

Which is why I don't use big words much (my writing role model/hero was Ray Bradbury - his early stuff) and the prism I post though is heavily hued in sociological/psychological lights. ummm, that and my environment has always been eclectic, sort of Lutheran/pagan, traditional/New Age, redneck/free-spirited, yuppie/liberal background. (The entire list is about 600 words long. I'll spare you.)

I'm not a historian, I 'm a visionary or maybe an idealist - see, I'm not a linguist, either. Sometimes I can write flawlessly and other times my grammar sucks. It depends what my pet tropical bug is wreaking havoc with at the moment. It's quite undependable, patternwise. ::swat:: I'll try not to post when my brainfog is too thick - the post would either be senseless or totally obscure. I can go from 130 to 90 in 6.5 seconds. IQ-wise. :>

I live with both feet planted firmly in midair. Two of my most favorite experiences were flying on the high trapeze on a Caribbean Island resort and rapelling down the side of a mountain in Joshua Tree.

I'm in mourning that Farscape was cancelled, I like Buffy more than Angel and am an avid Survivor fan - especially this season since they're in the place I've dreamed about visiting since I was 7 - The Amazon. ::swoon::

Two cats, a Russian Tortoise and a dog. (The dog was by default, I'm a cat person.) I collect old cameras from all over the world, have over 400 of them. Mostly slrs and those incredible miniature ones.

My favorite ME's are Anya, Andrew, early Willow, Kennedy, Spike before season 7 and Xander when he's putting his foot in his mouth. Also Gunn, Conner and Wes but only when he was with Lilah and had some 'nads. Don't like whiney Wes, Fred or ::ducking:: Angel much. my opinion! my opinion! Love all the monsters! and umm, Harmony...

I'll always post as WickedBuffy - unless I don't. But I'll always START the name with "Wicked" and sometimes end it with something apropos to the topic.

I usually don't use these many "I"s in one place. And now I begin rambling, the signal to hit "send" quickly!

er, wait! weather report.... I live in a beautiful wild rainforesty part of Oregon, USA on the pacific northwest coast. Rarely snows but usually rains all winter. It's raining now. We pray for snow because the entire town comes to a halt, school and businesses close, and everyone plays outside. It's automatically a holiday! But, it only snows about every three years - about 4-6 inches, and is melted within days or even hours. ::whapping hands off laptop:: make me stop! sorry for this length.

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- lunasea, 13:25:57 02/18/03 Tue

(my writing role model/hero was Ray Bradbury - his early stuff)

I got to meet Bradbury in college. He came to lecture and the Sci-Fi and literary clubs got to meet with him first. There were maybe 2 dozen of us with him. He was one of the nicest guys I ever met. I don't even remember how the conversation started, but we got to talking about the National Gallery of Art (which I have memorized, almost to the point where I can tell you how to get to a particular painting). From there we started talking about my favorite paintings there "The Voyages of Life" by Thomas Cole. They actually inspired him to write a short story (I don't remember which one off hand). It was so nice talking about that. It made me homesick and connected all at once.

He hated being known as a sci-fi author. Most people aren't even aware of his other stuff. I did have him autograph my copy of Fahrenheit, since everything else I had of his was at my parents' home. I like telling this story.

[> [> from another 5x Leo -- Rufus, 16:13:22 02/18/03 Tue

I was born on the 29th of July..and I'm Leo in Sunsign, Mercury, Mars, Uranus, and Pluto. Then to be confusing I'm Virgo in the Moon, Venus, and Jupiter.

Of course I'm a cat person...but love just about all animals.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- neaux, 09:10:35 02/18/03 Tue

Ok. I'm bored here at work, scanning pharmacist resumes for my work's website. Why cant these students send me their resumes through email beats the hell out of me.
Not only is this not fun but pharmacist resumes are 6-9 pages long.

Ok enough about what I'm doing today and a little background on me.

I'm 28 year old caucasian married to a 29 year old adopted Korean sexxxy fine lady. I suffer from child syndrome where I play more video games and watch more cartoons/anime than I ought to for someone my age. Yet, I think this helps define who I am, so there is no chance of me stopping.

So I am a gamer. I'm currently playing DotHack which is a brilliant game.
I am an anime collector. While I have many series that I start and always get behind in collecting, series that I have fully watched and own are Bakaretsu Hunters, Boogiepop Phantom, Series Experimental Lain (I own the lunchbox set), Cowboy Bebop, Evengelion, Love Hina, Outlaw Star. I have about 5 other series that I havent completed collecting.

Add to the fact that an anime dvd cost $30 and that a series usually runs $85 to $200 dollars. My gaming addiction runs $50 a month. One game a month is all I can afford.

Add to that my desire to collect Asian kung fu flicks and trying to collect the Buffy and Angel series on DVD.

That = One Broke Brotha!

Other than my spending habits, I do have a steady job as a graphic designer on the verge of promotion (i hope) to advertising manager. I live 5 minutes away from my work, so I must work even in the blizzard that is outside today.

I drive a truck which is finally paid for and my wife drives a carolla. We only buy toyota cars because they are more reliable than our dog.

We have been married 2 years in April and that rocks the socks!!

[> A Bit on Lurker/Poster Frisby -- David Frisby, 09:34:09 02/18/03 Tue

Nice idea Darby. I'm 51 and have always lived in Indianapolis. My wife is 36 and my son 13 and daughter 12. I've been a student at IUPUI for 30 years, working part-time for one-half of that, then 10 years at the library, and then 5 coordinating the faculty council, but I recently retired to support my wife's career (attorney) and be a homemaker and caregiver, and to continue taking one course each semester (History of Television this semester). For most of those 30 years I've studied philosophy (Plato Bacon Nietzsche, mainly, and perspectives on them from Heidegger, George Grant, and Leo Strauss). My interests run very wide (4 degrees in psychology, philosophy, library history, and history) though philosophy is primary. I've become a buffy obsessed fan for about 4 years, but started watching near the middle of season 2. I'm writing a piece on Buffy for my "television" course this semester, and am beginning to focus on Joss himself. I think SMG's movie "Simply Irresistible" was very fine and didn't get the recognition it deserved. Closing, I'm an out and out Nietzschean (different from, but sharing some things with the Nietzscheans depicted on the television program "Andromeda"), although I was in the closet for about 15 of those 30 years studied him ("only bad people study Nietzsche the teacher of evil" was the concensus). I think philosophy is the most important thing, humanity's highest interest. I look at this forum most every day, usually lurking, but sometimes posting here or there, and sometimes in a flurry. Last, I'm looking forward to attending that second international symposium on bufy studies (Nashville, May 28-30, 2004) and hope to actually maybe meet some of you there. I think buffy is the best thing ever on tv and the anticipation of this season's finale (and likely the series) drives me daily. And a new episode tonight! Life is good.

You can also learn all you might ever want to learn about me from my annual winter solstice letters, posted at:


[> [> A professional student. I love it! -- Masq, 10:11:37 02/18/03 Tue

I tried being that. I was in graduate school for nine years. Then they gave me a PhD and kicked me out. It was quite traumatic. I tried to stay by hanging out on the other side of the podium and was laughed off the stage by wicked students and their evil teaching evaluations.

So now I'm conspiring to become a student again. I just have to figure out what I'll study this time. ; )

PS Fris, I'd like your opinion on a claim I made in a thread that's been archived and that I don't feel like dragging back on the board because it'll only be archived again. Here's the post:

Evil, Nietzsche, and ME:

Wolfram and Hart and the First Evil have the same philosophy. It's very Nietzschean, and Faith echoed it in the past, too.

I think that this particular philosophy sums up ME's general view of what it means to be truly evil.

[> [> [> Nietzsche on Evil -- Fris, 19:07:41 02/18/03 Tue

George Grant (Canada's foremost philosopher, who died 1990) said Nietzsche is the most important philosopher to teach but "only" with the clear understanding beforehand that he is a teacher of evil. Nietzsche says (Dawn) that Plato says that the philosopher represents the "evil principle par excellance (that might be mis-spelled)" -- everything forbidden and wicked and dangerous comes under their purview or rubric. Yes, the law firm, and the first, and faith (when she was bad), all represent this view "partially" but not completely. It's about power, but as Nietzsche has Zarathustra say (1.15): there is no greater power on earth than good and evil. Early in the _Republic_ Plato has Socrates say that the greatest soul is capable of the greatest good as well as the greatest evil. Hesse in _Siddhartha_ teaches that the soul only comes to fully understand and be good, "after" experience with evil. Nietzche's key word (from which Freud stole) is sublimation (see my recent post on Buffy 7.15). I think the entire series of Buffy (and Angel too, as always goes without saying, in my mouth) is about good and evil, and specifically, about the defeat of evil through means other than evil. Xander's love made evil Willow good. Angel redeemed evil Faith. Spike is transforming evil into good through love of Buffy. etc etc etc

Another approach to this basic question comes from Leo Strauss, who carefully taught that the fundamental lesson to be drawn from the Islamic philosopher Al Farabi was that Plato himself represented a unique mixture of the (good) Socrates and the (evil) Thrasymachus. As I was just explaining to my son, "religion" is responsible not only for the greatest wars and evils etc, but also, as that which binds humanity together, for the greatest goods, philanthropic acts, etc. To bring this to a close (I need a drink after watching Buffy 7.15), Nietzsche (who I think doesn't really teach anything that much different than Plato or the other great philosophers) IS INDEED a teacher of evil, but also of good. Expressed differently, the law firm, the first, and bad faith, all explicitly express what Machiavelli taught exoterically (but not esoterically), while Nietzsche taught both exoterically (and something else altogether esoterically) -- but then that's all too esoteric.

But then, I'm quite willing to respond to any explicit singular question that might be posed -- I do check this forum at least daily. As for Nietzsche, I suggest a careful study of Zarathustra 1.15 (1001 goals). Most of it is all there. Nietzsche is indeed a teacher of evil, but don't forget that Socrates was convicted of a capital crime, atheism and teaching evil, and also, don't forget, that evil may perhaps be our most important faculty or aspect or quality or thing --

Anyway, specifically, "yes, Nietzsche is a teacher of evil in the sort articulated by that law firm and the first and bad faith -- that is, the primacy of power

Nietzsche does advocate a philosophy of power

power, by the way, is that which opposes gravity (today they're calling it dark energy, but Nietzsche was way ahead of all of the 20th century physicists -- he studied Boscovich

well, that beefeater's gin is taking effect (i couldn't wait), and I'm likely losing cogency

but the bottom line remains "it's about power" (BUT THEN "WISDOM" IS THE MOST POWERFUL POWER -- ESPECIALLY WISDOM ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL)

thanks for asking Masquerade, and to anyone else who might read this, ain't buffy great!!!!!

(one last question: someone (Giles I think) says The First is the primal cause of all evil -- but does this not analytically necessitate some sort of distinction (however small) between evil and itself? I wonder if this fits with Nietzsche's statement that "good and evil are ever a voice of a people's will to power" (Z.1.15)????)

(i wonder if i'll now have to launch into a discussion of slavery and torture and violence and war? but then what is humanity? human nature? nature? ==========


[> [> Long-time student -- luna, 14:08:41 02/18/03 Tue

I took my first graduate course in 1963 and got my final degree in 1992. ALMOST made thirty years!

[> What a great idea! -- Masquerade, 09:50:45 02/18/03 Tue

I'm a 39-year old female currently living in San Francisco, California. I used to be a philosophy professor, but unlike our Darbs, I was good neither in the classroom (my student evaluations routinely said "Boring!") nor with the research. I think it had something to do with having to specialize in one area of philosophy. My area was Philosophy of Science. But I'm too eclectic for University. Or maybe that's scatter-brained.

So I decided to ditch that and pursue my real dream, which was writing fiction. I've been working on a novel for more years than I care to say. It's not about the supernatural and it takes place in academia. Go figure. I hope to finish it in the next year.

I work days as a computer programmer/database manager because we all have to do something to pay the bills. It keeps me out of trouble and allows me to sit all day in front of a computer with T1 internet access. Which is a good thing, because I have this little website where I do philosophical analyses of the shows "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel: the Series". It's called All Things Philosophical on BtVS and AtS. ; )

Personality-wise, I'm somewhat shy, bookish, cerebral. As a rule, I tend to sit back and observe others go rather than jump into the fray. Which more or less sums up my presence on the board. I'm the one in the background dusting off the reference books while listening to what everyone says. When I do post, it's mostly off-topic. I avoid spoilers if I can. I use emoticons without apology. ; P

Seriously, though, the thing I love about the board is how eclectic it is. People come from all sorts of backgrounds and areas of expertise. I know some stuff about philosophy, but I learned everything I know about literature from the folks on the board. I never took any literature classes in college. I know, that makes me a bad, bad writer. I learn things about religion, about politics, about other cultures, about what's going on in the world (heard about 9/11 on the board first. I avoid the television news and newspapers, as a rule. Too depressing) on this board.

I love the in-depth analyses of characters and plots people do. I love the intense Off-Topic posts people sometimes get into. I love when people share their personal achievements and happies on the board (so no need to apologize for that...). I fret over trolls, demi-trolls, Spike threads, and emotional strife.

I enjoy meeting ATPo posters. Let's see--who have I met? Dochawk, Fresne, Buffyboy, Vicki, Liq, Sheri, d'Herblay, Dead Soul, Deeva, yuri... did I leave anyone out? And then there are the numerous folks I've gotten to know in my brief forays into the chat room.

I currently live alone with two middle-aged cats and no girlfriend. *Alas* Finding the right woman takes time. And in the meanwhile, there's always [well-known casting spoiler]. ; )

I'm unashamed to say I actually enjoy watching television. I think I'm preaching to the choir here, but my real life friends tend to have this snooty attitude that it's a vast wasteland of soul-sucking commercialism and stereotype mongering. Some of my friends don't even own televisions. As for myself, I'm a sci-fi/fantasy gal, with a huge cabinet full of video tapes from Buffy, Angel, all 5 Star Trek incarnations (Deep Space 9 is my personal favorite), X-files, Highlander (previously my favorite show), Forever Knight, Babylon 5, Lois and Clark, Roswell, etc. I'm trying to get all this stuff on DVD, but its pretty darned expensive.

My favorite characters at the moment are Angel, Connor and Faith. This changes, of course. A lot of my favorite characters have died (Tara, Jenny, Darla). A lot of characters I used to relate to have changed a lot (Willow, Giles). Angel has always been my favorite, and unless he starts channeling Spike, will continue to be. What can I say? Broody, awkward, cerebral, somewhat sadistic and kicks butt, just like me. Except for the kicks butt part....

Well, I need to get some actual work now.

So thanks, Darby, for starting this thread. It's definitely one for the permanent archives, but I won't let it go into the voynok archives any time soon...


[> [> Masq, a question about Star Trek: DS9 -- Scroll, 19:14:41 02/18/03 Tue

As for myself, I'm a sci-fi/fantasy gal, with a huge cabinet full of video tapes from Buffy, Angel, all 5 Star Trek incarnations (Deep Space 9 is my personal favorite), X-files, Highlander (previously my favorite show), Forever Knight, Babylon 5, Lois and Clark, Roswell, etc. I'm trying to get all this stuff on DVD, but its pretty darned expensive.

I've recently rediscovered Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and have been trying to find a board that talks about it. A nice, polite board full of interesting posters like the ATPo board -- which I know is hard to find, but I live in hope! So I was wondering if you are at all involved in the Star Trek fandom.

DS9 is the Trek most like Buffy, IMO, in that the characters are flawed but loveable. I love the sarcastic edge and dark atmosphere. It's also the most "fannish" of all the Treks. Lots of sly pokes at pop culture.

Oh, and I wanted to add that I too am a Highlander fan. I think there are a number of us here. I'll admit I started reading Highlander slash before I even knew what the movie/show was about. I also liked Lois and Clark and Roswell. And of course Babylon 5 and Forever Knight are on my list of Things To Watch If I Ever Have Time.

[> [> [> Star Trek: DS9 -- Masq, 22:16:54 02/18/03 Tue

I've never been involved in fandom before BtVS or for any ofther shows than BtVS and Angel. In retrospect, I'm glad about that, because things I heard about DSN having similar debates over women fans lusting after Gul Dukat the way they did over evil Spike makes me shudder. I really, really loathed Gul Dukat. I think he was made for fans to "boo hiss!" at when he came on screen. Arrogant monster.

I liked that DSN had such a greater variety of characters than the other treks. Most weren't human, most weren't all goody-two shoes like the Starfleet people. I loved the whole Dominion war arch and how it threw Odo into a crisis of having to be a traitor to the people he searched all his life to find.

I loved Captain Sisko. My favorite episode is "In the Pale Moonlight" where he does a sililoquy to the camera about war and moral compromise. I loved Major Kira. She was tough and sexy. I love the show's interestingly sympathetic take on terrorists. Very '90s, very pre-9/11/01.

I loved the spirituality of the show, something the other treks didn't really explore much. I liked Captain Sisko's emissary status.

I loved how the characters grew and changed. Nog went from a joke to one of the most noble characters on the show. Quark always maintained an interesting moral ambiguity while going from sleaze bag to halfway decent guy.

I liked that people had lovers and families. People didn't do that on Next Gen.

Oooh, the first season is out on DVD. Saving my pennies....

[> [> [> [> Saving my pennies too -- Scroll, 22:50:06 02/18/03 Tue

Thanks for replying, and from the Kira/Dukat fanfics I've read, I can definitely see how I too would be irritated by fans admiring Dukat's ridges (as opposed to JM's cheekbones). Having said that, I really love Dukat the way I loved Lindsey -- he had really good lines, lots of snark, and was somebody you loved to hate.

As a religious person, I was so pleased to see religion taken seriously and not relegated to being "cultural quirks" of less evolved species. That's one thing I hate about most Trek; somehow millennia-old religions like Judaism, Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, and paganism seem to disappear in the 300 years since we met the Vulcans.

I only vaguely remember "In the Pale Moonlight" but one I look forward to seeing again (and taping).

I'm right there with you about how the characters changed over the years and learned from their experiences. I love all the characters, even Worf whom I merely tolerated when he was on TNG. Even Dukat, whom I hate as a person, I still enjoy as a character.

I don't even own a DVD player and yet I'm willing to plunk down good money for DS9. My goal is to buy a DVD player before April so that once my exams are over, I can sit down and watch DS9 S1, Buffy S1-3, and Angel S1 at my leisure.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- shadowkat, 10:00:04 02/18/03 Tue

Identified with much of it - particularly the bit about being confused by multiple aliases. Me too! In fact I'm so guillable, I truly can't tell if someone is posting under another name. I just assume that's a new poster and treat them as such. (Mine are easy: s'kat or shadowkat or SK. The Sk and s'kat are due to my typing laziness, hence the reason I will often abbreviate other posters names, here's hoping they don't hate me for my presumption.)

I think some of us like the idea of anoymonity (sp?) on the board. I don't really care that much - obviously - since I put so much of myself in my essays and posts. I either comment on what I'm reading or mention a real life experience as an example. But try to walk that delicate line between getting way too personal and not personal enough. Occassionally I'll fall on one or the other side of the line. For me - posting is all about trying to connect with others and discussing interesting ideas.

A bit of info on me in return for such a cool post - assuming you didn't get enough in Meet The Posters. ;-)


I'm single, happily single at the moment, looking towards the horizon.

I collected and researched ghost stories and legends in Western Wales during the 1980s. Won a grant to do it. Briefly contemplated a career as a folklorist/mythologist, but am horrible at learning languages, and well got one of those naive "save the world" complexs. Law school and lots of volunteering finally beat it out of me.

Writing makes me happy. I am happiest when I'm knee deep in a story or novel or essay. And incredibly grouchy when I have a writer's block or can't write for some reason.

This drive to write is unfortunately equaled by an insane need to have others see and like my work, hence the reason you poor souls get so many lengthy posts. You must like them, otherwise you wouldn't keep encouraging me. Now I'm hopelessly addicted to the praise and can't seem to stop posting when I should be working on my next novel or something along those lines. (sigh)

Never been published - well not unless you count a short story that won 2nd place while in college. Did get the interest of two literary agents in my current novel- which I hear is a good thing. But this was only based on my query letter and I haven't heard back from them after sending my ms & synopsis, so we'll see. Have received numerous rejection letters on short stories, novels, etc. Writing can be a painful occupation.

Am currently unemployed - for the specifics as to why? Check the archives, Sara's thread, "why do you hate your job" - december. I left an evil company and am much happier is the skinny on it. My speciality is writing, critical analysis, copyright and trademark law. But I am not a licensed lawyer in the state where I live, and do not plan to be for numerous reasons I won't bore you all with.

As you can tell by now - I'm not very terse. Tend to write in a stream of conciousness, everything out there style and then edit it all back numerous times. (When I write something to send to editors or outside world - it usually goes through at least 3-5 drafts). If I did this for posts - you'd never see my stuff.

Also dyslexic - a poetry teacher pointed it out to me in College. She was dyslexic and she noticed while I was reading a poem aloud I was doing the same thing she did, skipping a line, doubling back. I didn't completely believe her until I reached law school and hit the wall. The dyslexia really shows up on standardized tests - I tend to skip down on the lines or miss letters and the time constraints give me no compensation time. To take the bar exam which is 65% multiple choice computerized testing - I had to get all sorts of psychological testing done so they'd make allowances for the dyslexia. Most of the time I barely notice the dyslexia, gotten very good at compensating - it tends to hit me the most when a) I have to take a computerized test, ie. multiple choice b) certain sounds get switched - hence reason I tape Buffy and re-watch with close captioning, and c) numbers - mathematical equations.

I was a long distance runner in junior high and high school but can no longer run now - the knees gave out. But I enjoy long walks, hiking, and the water. I was on swim team during the summers through the age of 17. And got certified for life-saving in college.

I came late to the world of internet posting - prior to that I tended to just do email. Never been good at chat -since it goes too fast for me and I thought outside of email that's all there was. Posting boards were a revelation. I've only been on Buffy boards though. I discovered the boards through a continuous search for essays. Yoda is the reason I found this board. I'd posted an essay on Buffy Cross and Stake and Yoda asked if s/he could bring it over here. I asked where here was and stayed.
Have since left the other boards - since they are spoiler boards and I've gone off spoilers.

I'm not really embarrassed about watching and loving and writing about Btvs and Ats since everyone I know has been told that I'm doing it.

What else? Wouldn't describe myself as anti-social. I tend to keep to myself though and am somewhat shy. I have a few very close friends. I don't like crowds. But enjoy meeting new people and casual get-togethers.

I own more books than I have room for and will literally read just about anything I can get my hands on. I love all genres of fiction. My tastes in books are as eclectic as my taste in music. Also a film buff.

Own no pets right now. Love cats but can't afford them at the moment and not really any room. Sort of ambivalent in regards to dogs and other pets. I have a phobia of spiders.

Okay I think that's enough info...;-)
There's currently 19.8 inches of snow on the ground according to the tv set. It finally stopped snowing. Interesting sight outside. Never experienced a snow storm in a major city.
The city sort of but not quite shuts down and all is blessedly quiet.

Thanks for the post Darby.


[> [> Uhh..cough..tenatively clearing throat...Addendium? -- s'kat, 21:47:02 02/18/03 Tue

After reading others posts felt I left some vital stuff out or well..whatever.

Born in March. About to hit 36. Uhm female. Moon in Piceses, Sun in Piceses,
and I think the ascendant might be there too...but not positive, I keep forgetting it, actually come to think of it is that how you spell Piceses? It looks wrong.
Anywho this explains why I love water so much.

Fav books: depends on the day of the week. Right now I'm grooving to sci-fantasy. I'll pretty much love anything.
Just bought another Lois MAcMaster Bujold - so must like her. Poetry? Sucker for Dorothy Parker, Sylvia Plath, Robert Frost, TS Eliot's The Hollow Men and Love Song of J. alfred Prufrock, Oden Nash, and Shelley - I think he wrote Kubla Khan? Also the Tyger Tyger Burning Bright poem stays with me. I've also written some in my time. Shakespeare is amongst my favorite playwrites - fav's are MacBeth, King Lear, Midsummer Night's Dream. I love Elizabeth Hand's Waking the Dead.
Music? everything - currently into Aimee Mann, also love Jazz, The Who, Pink Floyd's Albatross album, Peter Gabriel.
etc. And yes, I have a sizeable collection of comic books.
Six boxes worth.

Love tv, but getting picky as I get older. Tend to veer towards sci-fi. Favorite non-sci-fi series? Homicide Life on The STreets - next to Hill Street Blues - fav cop drama ever. St. Elsewhere - fav medical drama. Kingpin - favorite mob drama. Alias and La Femme Nikita. Also had a fondness
for My So Called Life...

What else? I read fanfic.

I'm snowbound in NYC...funky. And loving the frolick on the board. And hoping I haven't exposed too much of myself now.
(although once you get a photo posted on the board is there really anything else to expose?)


PS: Enjoying reading everyone else's posts - it helps to put a person behind the writing. Very cool.

[> [> [> Nudge, nudge -- fresne, 09:26:09 02/19/03 Wed

So, in a book pusher sort of way, which Bujold did you buy?

[> [> The snow in NYC -- Sophie, 06:55:19 02/19/03 Wed

Snow in New York is different because there is no place to put it. The land that is not occupied by buildings is used for sidewalks, stairs, car parking, etc. So when the snow is plowed off the streets or shovelled off the sidewalks, where do you put it? Mostly, it seems to be piled on top of the parked cars.


[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Wisewoman, 10:19:27 02/18/03 Tue

I didn't sleep well (again) last night and woke up determined to write a long and detailed letter to my doctor concerning the current state of my health (or lack thereof) but I checked the Board first and decided I'd rather spend my time responding to this thread.

I turned 50 last month, January 29. Aquarius Sun, Moon in Leo, Cancer Ascendant. My sister threw a party for me and a couple of my very closest friends came along. I have just received an envelope containing approximately 50 photographs of me in various poses, almost all including a large bunch of green helium-filled balloons, and several of which involve me wearing a multi-coloured beanie, complete with propeller. It remains to be seen whether I will gather the nerve to scan and post an example of these for the amazement of my fellow posters.

I am female as I suppose is obvious from my nickname. My partner dubbed me Wisewoman because I am not, but I keep trying to be. This bunch dubbed me dub, which suits me better. I try to use both fairly consistently so that I don't confuse newbies and lurkers into thinking I'm two different posters.

For many years I've worked in a fairly mundane job for the union that represents the public school teachers in my province (I'm Canadian!). Last year, as many of you know, I had a brain aneurysm and almost died. I've been trying steadily to get back to work since last September, and I'm up to three full days a week now, and just about to drop back to two, because three is still too much for me. I find this incredibly frustrating, especially since someone who should know told me yesterday that it would be much wiser to accept that I'll remain on partial disability until I retire.

Despite the moaning, whining, and bitching above, I'm generally pretty happy. I've loved this board and the posters since I discovered it in February of 2001. I've loved BtVS since the very beginning.

I also love to write and I do it constantly, and so far have finished exactly nothing. I have three novels in various stages of incompleteness, and am struggly mightily not to start another until I finish at least one of them. I have also been working for about ten years on a treatise on the components of wisdom. That looks like it might have some chance of being finished eventually but I'm not holding my breath. (If I do ever finish it I'm contemplating using one of the above-mentioned beanie pictures as an author photograph.) If I am destined to be a part time worker for the next ten years at least I'll have lots of time to work on it.

Fanaticism and arrogance in other people really bother me. I've realized that this is because I tend toward fanaticism and arrogance. Gotta love that ol' Shadow Side.

I can't go on...I'm starting to bore even myself...but this was a great idea, Darb!

dub ;o)

[> [> You forgot to mention you met Me Me Me!!!!.....<g> -- Rufus, 16:25:19 02/18/03 Tue

[> [> [> OMG! How could I forget Rufus!! -- dub ;o), 08:24:27 02/19/03 Wed

Yes, indeed, I have met her more than once. The first time was when she and her husband managed to track me down in the hospital after the aneurysm.

Ruf is amazing. She's blonde and tiny and cute as a button (does that sound like anyone else we talk about on this board?). It always makes me chuckle when posters think she's male, but it's understandable, what with the name.

She does an incredible job with the ConverseBuffyverse Spoiler board and I know I'll find information there faster than anywhere else on the 'net, even the Spoiler Slayer!

And...David just reminded me I got a phone message and I owe her a phone call...yikes! Okay, later kiddo!

;o) dub

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Sebastian, 11:04:38 02/18/03 Tue

First off ñ Hello all!

26 year old male. Virgo. Aspiring ex-perfectionist. Bookworm and comic geek.

Just moved to Chicago from Milwaukee. Went from working in a small agency to a big-honking 'evil' agency. The politics in the new working environment are...eye-opening.

I sometimes joke itís the Wolfram & Hart of Chicago advertising.

I tend to be asocial (a.k.a shy). I'm the guy that does a lot of observing rather than talking. I do better in small groups rather than big one. Although I become rather opinionated in the right scenarios.

After 6 years of deliberate single hood - I'm now involved with a man who has played a huge part in reestablishing my belief in UNconditional love.

I've been writing since I was 5 years old (even had a baby blue kiddie typewriter). I was a reporter for both my H.S. and university newspaper, as well as a contributor to my university's literary magazine. And although writing fiction is my first love, I've yet to have anything seriously published.

Started watching ëBuffyí in college and was a-m-a-z-e-d by its storytelling capabilities. Silly as it sounds, watching the show helped me a through a devastating family crisis that began my sophomore year. I've been a rabid loyalist ever since.

My favorite characters tend to be the ëBad Girlsí: Faith, Anya, Darla, and Cordelia: Seasons 1&2, and DarkWillow. I have a soft spot for GoodWillow and Giles (and a growing fondness for Andrew).

And of course Spike is the one man (aside from Henry Rollins) that I throw my life away for. ;-)

The character I relate to the most is Buffy. Every in-depth analysis I've read about her tends to be my psychological profile in a nutshell. ;-)

My online surfing extends to the occassional chat rooms, salon.com, and this board.

I'm becoming panicked that 'Buffy' is not coming back next season, and have begun watching 'Alias' so I have something to feed my 'girls kick ass' addiction.

I'm a habitual lurker on here because I am WAY too intimidated to post anything substantial. The quality of posts I've read are so enriching - that I'm nervous that anything I would say would seem trite. ;)

I don't post very often - but this seems relatively painless. :)

Thanks all.

[> Archivers This Thread Must Last Past the Deluge of "Get it Done" -- Dochawk, 11:33:38 02/18/03 Tue

I am really busy at work today and can't respond properly to everyone, but this thread needs to last a couple of days anyway. Thanks Darby

[> [> Already made a note of that in my contribution : ) -- Masq, 11:49:29 02/18/03 Tue

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Clen, 11:50:10 02/18/03 Tue

I think I will contribute too. I'm only starting to post here, and often seem to stray away from the philosophical side of things, but I'm sure I will become better acclimated to this board with time.

I'm not sure what to type, not because I'm a- or anti-social, but because I tend not to think much about me is all that interesting. But...

I'm 25, working on my Masters in International Relations up in Western Canada. I have a Business degree, and if I keep going in school it will likely be in a different field again, so I stray a lot in my intellectual interests. i'm kneedeep in the coursework right now so I'm not thinking very hard about the thesis, but it will likely be something in some aspect of Critical IR Theory, I am not willing to specify any more than that right now.

I'm also interested in Daoist thought, enjoy Nietzsche, like working in other countries on government money (so far: Brazil, West Africa and Japan, so I like to stray widely in my travels too), do a little Aikido when the time is permitting, like watching BtVS and AtS of course as well as Oz and Kingpin, uh...what else...left-handed...waste a lot of time playing video games...cats seem inordinately attracted to me (it's eerie when 3 or 4 come running out from the underbrush when I walk down the street)... single ...looking for work with the federal govt.... uh ... like spicy food...I'm reaching now, so I'll stop.

I'm young-ish still, and have no real accomplishments to speak of, but I'm most proud of the time I get to spend with people from other cultures as well as within other cultures myself. Nothing beats that first evening in another country when you go to some little roadside bar, buy a beer, sit outside, look up at the stars and think, "noone knows where I am right now. it feels like I'm completely lost in the world, free."

I've so far located two of the most beautiful spots in the world (in Rio de Janeiro and Seoul) and plan to take my future wife there someday (to make out, and run from the MPs, respectively).

I've only gotten into Buffy recently, and this site works out great for me because all my friends are sick and tired of my habit of overanalyzing every minute detail about my life, so here I can vent if the urge strikes me and I only rarely make people angry.

I guess that's it, I'm really much better at answering questions than presenting myself, so if anyone wants to know anything, just shoot. I would make up a profile for myself on this board, but I use school computers, and to send off the info, you need a mailbox, which I don't have, since these are all public computers, etc. Maybe I could send it all by e-mail to Masq or someone else, if that option exists.

[> [> you can send via email to the webmaster & it'll be posted with the next uploads -- The Second Evil, 12:45:14 02/18/03 Tue

[> [> Left-handers of the world unite! -- Tchaikovsky, 02:04:54 02/19/03 Wed

Forgot to mention that, but I like you am left-handed, and proud of it.

Does anyone else want to join us on the sinister side?


[> [> [> I'll admit my mutancy -- Sara, who loves to be sinister, 09:10:02 02/19/03 Wed

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Caroline, 12:05:51 02/18/03 Tue

What a terrific idea. I'm normally rather hesitant about revealing stuff but I've been here a long time and really like everyone so I'm going to jump off the edge of the cliff without a parachute and trust all will be well.

I am a 36-year-old Australian of Lebanese descent. I live in Washington DC and work at the World Bank as an economist (a word that I always spell wrong and have to go back and retype - I think it's Freudian). I build economic models, do economic forecasts and simulations, write reports on macro and micro-economic developments. My current area of focus in the Middle East and North Africa. I work with very nice people but they have little love of literature or anything cultural, with the exception of my research assistant who attended Oxford and a colleague who studied philosophy as an undergrad and can think of things other than economics. I work in a team of 16 people, only 3 of whom are women. [sigh]

I speak Arabic and some French, although I haven't used my French in many years to do anything except read. I get a headache for the first couple of days that I have to converse in either Arabic or French until the neurons kick in.

I have always been insatiably curious. I want to learn as much as I can and find out the why of everything.

I stopped believing in God at 10 after I read the Communist Manifesto and in rebellion at being made to go to Sunday School. I regularly got into theological arguments with the Archbishop who was a friend of the family, much to my mother's distress. Her vengence was to send me to Catholic school. I now consider myself spiritual but not religious.

I'm pre-occupied with death. My father died when I was 5 after a long illness. I have several close relatives and friends who have also died in one way or another. My husband died in a small plane crash 5 years ago. He was flying to Pensacola Fla on a long-distance trip in a 2 seater plane that I could pull out of the hanger with one hand. He hit bad weather in Pine Mountain Georgia - or maybe it hit him. I was supposed to accompany him but pulled out of the trip 2 days before. I still love to fly and want to get my private pilot's license.

I'm addicted to Vahlrona 71% cocoa chocolate. I don't eat meat or dairy and try to follow a macrobiotic diet. Chocolate is not part of that diet.

I am one course away from becoming fully certified shiatsu practitioner. I go to yoga classes at least 3 times a week and try to fit in my own practice at home. I meditate. I want to study yoga, Qi Gong and kundalini yoga more deeply. I'm seriously considering leaving my high-paying but rather soulless work later this year. I want to own my day.

Astrology is one of my passions. I'm an okay amateur at natal charts, transits, progressions, synastry and composite charts but I've yet to learn the more sophisticated methods. I'm trying to learn the tarot.

I love to travel. After my honours degree I took a year off and backpacked alone around Europe. It was one of the happiest times of my life. I met my late husband in London and was hit by a thunderbolt. I knew within six seconds that I'd met the man I would marry. Ditto for him. I rang home 2 days later and my mother and sister were stunned when I told them. I had never believed in love at first sight before then.

Reading has always been my solace. I used to finish my classwork faster than anyone else in the 3rd grade and instead of letting me get bored and cause trouble, my teacher would send me to the library to collect books. The librarian would have a pile waiting for me every Monday morning. I now have my left shoulder higher than my right.

Shakespeare is my abiding love. Poetry makes me weak at the knees.

I was seriously studying psychology as an undergrad but realized that I was only interested in psychoanalytic theory to figure out what was wrong with me. I didn't want to study behaviourism or any of the other 'isms. I'm still fascinated by behaviour and mythology as the original psychology. I love reading biographies written from a psychoanalytic standpoint.

I'm stubborn and have a tendency to think I'm right all the time. I am aware of this and try to be more flexible.

I love to cook. My garden is my other solace. Living alone has made learning home repair necessary. I made a bed. I am currently making curtains for my bedroom.

Snow is good. Skiing is great. I can dig my car out of 2 feet of snow.

I want to live by the water.

I am blessed to have a wonderful and supportive group of friends and family on 3 continents. There is always someone to call at 3am.

I wear glasses and hate contacts. I like to hide behind my glasses and hair.

I am social but like to be alone. I can't do small-talk. At parties, I focus on one person at a time and usually end up talking philosophy or theology or a similar topic.

I am addicted to fashion - the result of depriving myself for too many years saving for trips, cars, houses, furniture etc. My favourite designers are Diane von Furstenburg, Shin Choi, Jenne Maag. I make trips to NYC to go to the Opera, see plays and shop. I love T-shirts from the GAP. I have also been known to go to London for the theatre.

I know that I can do anything I put my mind to.

Thanks to everyone who has written and given me an insight into your lives. Darby, cherish the time you have with Sara - you're so lucky to have someone you love, respect and admire to grow old with. But I console myself with 'I was once loved too'.

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- Lumina, 22:37:02 02/18/03 Tue

Hi Caroline,

So there's another Australian on the board! And I thought I was the only one. ;) Ok, so you live in the US and actually get to see BtVS episodes as they air (down under we're only up to Beneath You) - but it's still exciting!

[> [> Thank you for this -- Rahael, 02:46:26 02/19/03 Wed

This board really is extraordinary. You guys, especially posters like Caroline and Arethusa, have been invisible companions on my journey.

You've made me feel less odd, less strange, more a member of the human race. Ironically, during this time I've let go of a lot of real life friendships that left me feeling smaller about myself, though they enabled me to say "look, I can pretend! I can simulate normality!"

I am social but like to be alone. I can't do small-talk. At parties, I focus on one person at a time and usually end up talking philosophy or theology or a similar topic.

Me too! Though with me it tends to be history and literature. A little while ago a friend told me not to do this. That men get put off by it, that I'm too passionate too intense about stuff like this. It was a conversation prompted by me turning up to the pub with a bag full of newly bought books, one of them about Wittgenstein, about whom I chattered on enthusiastically. She told me to hide all this, and be cooler and more detached. I was grimly looking forward to a lifetime spent with boring people, when I met d'Herblay from whom I didn't bother to hide anything, cos you know, he lived in America.

But somehow, I still manage to feel guilty about not being able to make small talk because I think I'm being inappropriate.

I too love Vahlrona, opera and fashion. I work 5 minutes away from the Royal Opera House. Y'know, if you're ever in London for the theatre or anything!!

[> [> [> Re: Thank you for this -- Arethusa, 09:11:19 02/19/03 Wed

I left the subject as it is becuse that's exactly what I wanted to say. Like you and Caroline, I can't do small talk, except in chat, where I don't worry about peoples' reactions to me. I can be funny and silly and a little bawdy and put all those years of reading Thurber and Woody Allen to use. The main reason I started posing is that there's no one to talk to around me. Chatting with the mothers at school never goes beyond the surface. Family members discusses personal issues, legal cases, sports. I'm very solitary by nature but not this solitary. And it's the passion, the intensity of the people here-and of course the learning and brilliance-that keeps me coming back. We should have that in our "real" lives, too, right? Small talk is for small people, or small occasions.

Caroline, I very much enjoy your posts, and learn a lot from them.

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- luna, 05:54:23 02/19/03 Wed

I'm turning into a yoga addict, too--glad to hear someone else is into it. It amazes me how much my body can change, even at this age, and also how much the lessons I learn about my body are teaching me about the rest of my life.

And I have to tell you, I found the very best love of my life when I was 45--and ironically, he'd been a friend for a while. Looking bac, I think it happend when I finally got to a place where I understood what I wanted--and then I could see he was it! So look at what the future may bring you--maybe there already.

[> [> Replies to Lumina, Rahael and Luna -- Caroline, 08:00:33 02/19/03 Wed


I've been here for 10 years and really enjoy my life here but do feel the need to come home soon. I'm missing out on the childhoods of my brother's children and even though I love the cold and the snow, nothing beats Bronte Beach in my book.


Yoga saves my sanity. I work 50-60 hour weeks so my practice gives some much needed balance to my life. I know what you mean about the changes in your body. Yoga has given me a physical strength as well as a centeredness that is addictive. As soon as other events in my life pan out (hopefully later this year) I can leave this work and focus more on the bodywork that I want to do. As for love, many thanks for your kind words. I'm just doing the things I enjoy and I think that I'm open now to whatever comes. I'm SO glad to be in my 30s and feeling the confidence in myself that a lived life brings and I'm thinking that as I get older I'm just going to get better and be a powerhouse!


You may not realize how much I identify with what you write. You experienced the horrors of war - my brother, mother and I escaped that but we had the anguish and horror of seeing our relatives and friends go through some rather horrific things. In sunny, normal Sydney, I felt like a complete outsider (but then I'm not sure that I've ever felt 'at home' anywhere - my identities are so jumbled). And I could only watch it. It's a different pain from being inside the conflict but it leaves scars of a different kind.

So you get the 'too intense' thing as well. Don't listen to them! I've had a rather intense life, filled with intense events - why should I apologize for who I am and what has shaped me? If anything, I come out with intensity blazing to sort out the men from the boys (so to speak) and I've really enjoy scaring them off (not really but kinda!). And my passion has meant that I've formed some incredible bonds with others that can easily withstand time, distance and even death. Those bonds sustained me through the hardest of times and taught me many things, as I'm sure they have for you also.

Do you also find that people are surprised you have a sense of humour? If they would only read Whitman, they would know that we all contain multitudes.

I'm going to take you up on the offer to attend the theatre in London before the end of the year. Cos I just can't resist, opera, fashion and shopping!

Thanks to all the people who have reached out - I feel like Blanche in Streetcar - 'I've always depended on the kindness of strangers' except that you aren't really strangers but wonderful friends who live far away.

[> [> [> Re: Replies to Lumina, Rahael and Luna -- Rahael, 08:40:57 02/19/03 Wed

That sounds great!

As for the sense of humour - definitely it's a way of confounding expectations. I was once out for dinner with the kind of people I don't often spend all that much time with. One of the guys laughed so hard at a funny story I told that he turned red and started crying.

It's so strange, a lot of people think I'm really earnest and serious and most of the time I'm just making mischievous comments to myself. When I was at University, one of my friends said "We were talking yesterday and we found the perfect word to describe you". Apparently it's "sassy".

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- ponygirl, 12:42:11 02/18/03 Tue

Hemming and hawing but what the heck I'll jump in:

Turning 32 in April. I've told myself that this is when the thirties really begin so it should be interesting.

I've worked in film & tv production since I finished school in various admin capacities. Mostly that's left me with a fear of commitment, in the form of long-term contracts, and of filing. Right now I'm writing copy for websites for a couple youth shows. I abuse exclamation marks daily, I've actually used bling bling in a sentence. It's not pretty.

Long periods of unemployment have made me realize how much I enjoy not working (or as I like to call it working from home). The downside is the total lack of money which is incredibly scary.

I write screenplays on my own time. There was a long period where I didn't have any ideas, or couldn't finish anything I started, but the last couple years have seen a real improvement. It would have been nice if this had happened a few years ago but I'm grateful. I wish I could write short stories or novels but my brain doesn't work that way.

I have a horrible memory for names and faces. Seeing people out of context takes me to a blank place in my head and I hate it, so much so that I try to avoid introducing people at parties. Conversely (or perversely) I have a great memory for things that I've read or seen on tv.

Unlike most people in the known world I actually enjoyed high school. It's mainly because I had a horrific time in grade school and made a conscious decision to go to a different high school than anyone I knew and reinvent myself. Fortunately once there I met a group of people interested in cultivating the weirdness in each other so I had a great time. I'm a sucker for characters who transform themselves, like Spike or Wes, even if the changes aren't necessarily for the better.

I'm a dabbler in a lot of different areas. I usually have enough to talk the talk about art, comic books, music, movies, books, fashion, but don't consider myself an expert in anything. Buffy would come close but even with that I must bow to the superior knowledge on the board.

I have a problem with unrequited love. I'm trying to work on it, the result being that I haven't really been in love for three years.

I like my friends and go out more than I can afford, but if I don't get a certain amount of alone time I get VERY cranky.

Everyone I know, including myself, seems very bored lately. Even when we're busy.

If I didn't have access to this board I seriously don't know how I would get through a work week. And yet I feel guilty reading it on weekends. Go figure.

When writing this I was tempted to either make myself sound far more fabulous, or conceal everything and revel in my own mystery.

[> [> Writing and age -- Masq, 12:58:40 02/18/03 Tue

"I write screenplays on my own time. There was a long period where I didn't have any ideas, or couldn't finish anything I started, but the last couple years have seen a real improvement. It would have been nice if this had happened a few years ago but I'm grateful. I wish I could write short stories or novels but my brain doesn't work that way. "

I've wanted to write fiction since I was eleven. I had this incredible urge, but never could finish anything I started except for the usual insipid adolescent poetry. Then when I was 29 years old and working on my dissertation in philosophy, I started a novel. All this stuff just started flowing out of me. It has ever since.

I finally decided I that despite the desire to write, I had nothing to say until I was in my 30's. I needed the life experience my 20's brought to me as inspiration. I know there are lucky folks out there who are wunderkinds and write in their teens and 20's, but I suspect their lives were a lot more eventful than mine.

Good luck on your screenplays!

[> [> [> Re: Writing and age -- ponygirl, 13:23:28 02/18/03 Tue

Thanks Masq! And good luck to you too!

I think age really does help. For me at least it brought a certain amount of self-discipline and confidence that the words would actually come if I sat down and worked. Also I think I lost a lot of romantic notions that writing should just be an endless flow of inspiration (with no re-writes or outlines!). When I was 22 and trying to write a novel it was a lot easier to get frustrated and quit whenever I hit a snarl rather than trying to work through it.

[> [> [> [> Would agree -- s'kat, 13:50:48 02/18/03 Tue

I've been writing since I was 9, but never anything worth publishing. I remember the novel I wrote at 17 - can we say Mary Sue meets Indiana Jones? Not very good. Age has brought a far better sense of vocabulary and style. That and the numerous writing classes I've taken in the intervening years. I'm hoping the novel that I recently finished at 35 (it took 6 years to write and went through at least ten redrafts and has nothing to do with the one I wrote at 17) will have better success. I have three other uncompleted novels (about two- ten chapters completed in each) just sitting in my computer waiting for me to get back to them.

I think of writing as something that one just continues to grow better at the more one practices at it. While there are a few prodigies out there, my favorite writers always tended to be the ones who got published later in life and learned from their assorted mishaps. This fact gives me hope.

Oh as regards screen-writing - William Goldman wrote a very entertaining book on the whole process called Which Lie Did I Tell that I highly recommend - if you like that sort of thing.

(I'm 35 now, turning 36 in a few weeks and trying not to let it get to me too much. ;-) )SK

[> [> [> Re: Writing and age -- Gyrus, 15:50:17 02/18/03 Tue

While history tells of child prodigies with amazing talents in the areas of art, music, mathematics, foreign languages, etc., I don't recall ever hearing about any great child writers. (If any of you have, BTW, I'd be interested to know about it.) Therefore, I'm inclined to believe that writing has at least as much to do with experience as talent.

[> [> [> [> There are some teenaged novelists -- Masq, 16:07:04 02/18/03 Tue

And early 20's. Couldn't name any examples off the top of my head, but my impression is there stuff is usually pretty gritty and/or intense. Hence the comment that they have more life experience at age 21 than I ever did!

[> [> [> [> [> Re: There are some teenaged novelists -- Lilac, 16:24:55 02/18/03 Tue

How about the French girl who wrote "Bonjour Tristes" (I am more than willing to believe I have butchered the novel's name)in the 60's. I think she was 19 at the time,and I also believe her life went downhill from there. An example of why it's probably not good to peak too early in life. I'm sure someone can come up with a happier example.

[> [> [> [> [> [> Francoise Sagan -- Tchaikovsky, 02:14:42 02/19/03 Wed

The novel was 'Bonjour Tristesse'- meaning (somewhat over-literally) 'Good day Sadness'. Very evocative of a hot place to me, rather like Camus' 'The Outsider'. Teenage love, a hint of a sexual revolution. I wonder whether to a degree it became iconic like Winston Churchill, because it was the right book at the right time. But short, and with moments of beauty, and worth a read.


[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- luna, 13:53:04 02/18/03 Tue

I am older than any one else living, I think (60, but everybody else is under 45, at least in the world I see). And it really happened fast! However, I kind of like it. The thing is, I have a lot of choices, but hardly anybody expects anything of me, so I can try things and quit or fail or succeed and it really doesn't matter much.

I really, really like spicy food. I have friends who go out to eat with me just to watch the tears run down my face when I eat Korean spicy squid.

My cat Fernie is the First Evil--sorry, Masquerade, but she is also older than anyone else living (16). She scratches my face when she wants to be fed. There are also some polite outside cats, Forsythe and Jack, who only mew.

I teach English and ESL at a community college. I really like teaching World lit and Asian lit--teach an online course, and wish my students were as literate and thoughtful as the people who post here! I've thought about making them read this board as a clue to what they should be doing. I love ESL--am one of three people working to start the program here. It's a lot of fun, and I love the students. We have mostly Koreans, Russians, and Latin Americans.

I went to: a little snotty religious college in SC (shall remain nameless, but ruined Christianity for me); the U of SC (which also calls itself USC, but you know it's not the same); and UC Berkeley. My MA is in literature, but my PhD (both from U of SC) is in linguistics (mostly discourse analysis but have written on stylistics, esp. Cormac McCarthy)

I was in Berkeley in the late sixties and still haven't completely reverted (although I have to say Berkeley and the whole Bay Area have changed a lot since then).

I read incessantly--mostly fantasy, SF, and mysteries, and just good books of whatever kind.

I'm writing a mystery novel. I used to write poetry, and have no idea why I've changed directions. I just write down what I think of.

I'd rather be in the ocean than almost anything, and I also like to kayak. I've been doing Tai Chi (Yang style) for a while. Now I have a yoga teacher I truly love.

I was once an Episcopalian but now am studying Buddhism with a Tibetan monk. I lived in China for six months and taught at Beijing Normal Universityóalso spent a little time in Africa (Cameroon) and have traveled in Europe, Mexico, and Caribbean. When I retire (next year) first stop will be Morocco.

I'm much nicer and quieter on this board than in real life--I find it easier to shut up and read than to shut up and listen.

Iíve been a department chair in a medium-sized community college for about 12 years, off and on, and it has made me very tolerant of human weirdness, which I encounter daily. I donít take offense as easily as I used to, but surprisingly I havenít gotten cynical about peopleís motivesóI think the ones I deal with usually arenít out to play many games (but I always reserve the right to invoke cynicism when warranted).

Iím very even tempered, which has helped me survived two marriages to people who compared to me are manic-depressive, and may really be so! My current husband is counting the days until he can go back to Chicago, where we have an apartment. Heís retired from the U of SC, but is teaching here while Iím still working. But Iím not able to live in a cold climate for very long! I prefer the beach in SC (Pawleyís Island, if anyoneís a local) or California. My first husband lives in Oakland, and our sons live in SFómy older son and his partner first got me into Buffy. We spent New Yearís Eve, 2002, watching season 2. Theyíve gone on to Angel, and Iím getting there, but thereís only so much time!

I will probably always be a drop-by poster. I really admire the long essays that some of you write, and have really thought of some neat ones while walking or paddling or driving, but as you see will only sit down for a while when the topic is me! I have in the past though written a fairly long paper on Marxism in vampire literature for the Popular Culture Association, but now save my real writing energy for novels. But I love my semi-lurking life, and bless you all for existing.

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- Brian, 13:53:37 02/18/03 Tue

I was born in Boston, MA in April of 1944, which makes me a war baby, and a Tauren. However, I grew up in a small rural community, south of the city, on the way to Cape Cod, and I passed cows when I walked to school. When I finished the second grade of public grammar school, my parents, fearing for my education, transported me into private schools where I remained until I finished my graduate MFA degree.

Although I have degrees in English and Film, I spent most of my live as a high school teacher in drama. Iíve directed various genres from Greek to Modern stuff, including many musicals. Since I believe in bringing order to chaos, many of my teaching jobs were creating theatre programs where there were none, or updating a program into modern technology/sensibilities. Along the way I discovered that comedy is what I do best as a director.

In high school I started writing poetry, a wonderful vice that I continue to work at, as many of you know. Someday, perhaps, I will frighten you all with an example of that early work: lots of love, death, God, and sex.

I got married to a wonderful woman named Deborah, and we drove each other crazy for seven years, and eventually we fell into a divorce. However, since then, we have become the best of friends, and I trust and love her more than any other person in this world.

The physical placement of my life has been a steady movement towards the southwest. From Boston to Hartford, CT to Troy, NY to Louisville, KY. My dreams are set on SanDiego.

Cats like me, and I like cats, but I eventually developed allergies to them, so I became a dog person.

Side Note of Horror: I had a delightful cat in college that ended up on the menu of the Chinese restaurant I lived over. Iíve never eaten Chinese since then.

I grew up with a really big Gordon setter, and Deborah and I had three English setters: Basil, Bogart, and Zelda. Zelda was a real hunter, and we had to ship her off to live with my in-laws in the wilds of New Hampshire. There, she wiped out lots of forest creatures, and had continued run ins with bobcats and porcupines, which she lost but always survived. Basil was known as the Philosopher Dog ( I like to think that he would have really appreciated the Board), and Bogart was the rough, tough dog. Never got into a fight that he couldnít win or think his way out of.

When I was 39 I took a year off from work, and went to live with my parents in Florida. There I discovered that where land, sky, and sea meet are magic places. I spent lots of time walking the beach, and I like to think that I became a better, calmer, wiser(?) person for it.

I love to read especially mysteries and science fiction. Iím also a comic book lover, and I have over 10,000 of those four-color beauties. My home is lived with bookcases. At one time I had over 240 feet of books, but I have been cutting back on collecting, and even, gasp, gotten rid of some of them.

Iíve been forced to retire, so Iím down but not out. Iíve been working a book of short stories that link together into a novel called A Christmas Life.

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- lynx, 01:33:13 02/19/03 Wed

hi. i can only post bits here and there (due to MS) but read every word.
am 48, ex animator, love sf and fantasy...and cats.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- KdS, 13:00:23 02/18/03 Tue

Promise all of this is true... or at least from my point of view.

I'm single, mid-20s, English, and along with many of my compatriots am trying to work out how to be proud to be English without being a bigoted slimeball.

I grew up boringly in the suburbs of London and did three years study in chemistry at the same time and place as Rahael did her degree, although we never met. I aced my final exams, then did a research year and found out that I'd passed my exams through being good with information and that I was a truly awful chemist. After this painful epiphany, I took a job at an online technological database in a redneck-filled country town. After two years I came back to London to do an Information Science masters, which I'm almost exactly half-way through at the moment. I've found a field I love and am determined never again to live anywhere that doesn't have a seven-digit population and a three-digit list of nationalities. Oh, and I've just become a published author - I wrote several chapters in a recent volume of an organic chemistry encyclopaedia which will set you back a couple of thousand dollars and be boringly incomprehensible to most of you. Let's just say the focus was on clarity rather than artistic prose.

I have painfully little time to watch TV or read for pleasure at the moment. I watched Doctor Who in its declining years as a child, loved Babylon 5 until I was cruelly betrayed by its lousy final season, watched various incarnations of Star Trek with interest but a lack of commitment, and came to ME shows late but fell in love with them. No TV show in any genre, however, matches up for me to the late and sadly lamented Homicide:Life on the Street. Outside the genre, I'm currently watching and liking practically any HBO drama series and most recently Buried (a British version of Oz - ie faintly plausible and less outrageously violent). I like my fantasy fiction with an edge to it, and I've always felt sympathy for Michael Moorcock's claim that "Anyone who hates Hobbits can't be all bad".

Due to my scientific education my reading has been fairly undirected, and I'm awed by the cultural breadth of some of the other people here. Thanks to my employment area I now have a readers' pass to the British Library - once I've finished my degree I may disappear into it for a week and barely come out ;-)

As far as personality goes, you can probably work it out from the fact that I feel closest to Willow, Jonathan, Wes, Fred, and Warren Mears, who incarnated my personal nightmare self/Dark Side to such perfection that S6 will always remain my favourite season.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Calvin, 13:03:17 02/18/03 Tue

Wasn't sure if I would post anything on this one. Given where I am in life, it might come out wierd. Oh well.

I am 31 years old, male, living in Sherman Oaks, CA. I've been here for one month. It's sunny. A lot.

I moved here from Seattle, WA. It rains. Lots.

I think I made the right decision.

About August of last year, I realized that after a Master's in Education and two years of subbing, I still couldn't get a teaching job. Following this, I fell into what might be considered a depressed state. Other than to go to the store, I never left my apartment, and didn't have to since I was on unemployment. Never saw my friends, never called anyone.

About the beginning of December, I had a realization. Not one of my friends had called me for a month to see how I was doing. Rather than wallow in self pity, I had what others have referred to as a "moment of clarity." I realized that I was on my own.

Of course, watching "Buffy", "Angel" and "Firefly" helped. Sort of.

I was having a conversation with a friend, whom I had called. She asked me, "So why don't you move somewhere else to teach?" And it occured to me. I don't want to teach. I want to go to film school. I have wanted to go to film school since I was in high school, but I was too much of a chickenshit to do it. I have talked myself out of it every day since.

On December 10, I said, "Fuck it." I put in my notice and moved to California to go to film school. Here I am.

I like to write, but never had the courage to put pen to paper. Early last year, I had an idea for a screenplay (two, actually), so I started working on it. Not writing, you understand, because as I mentioned, I can't write. I now have 100 pages, almost finished. Working on it, that is. Pretty soon, I hope to work on other things. Maybe some day I can be a professional worker. I still think about writing. Maybe someday.

I love dogs. I used to hate cats. But I seem to have this problem where I keep living with people who have these cats that are just the coolest.

I have a roommate that I moved in with and had never met. We found each other through the internet. I already think she is one of the coolest people I know. I am very, very lucky.

I was at a mexican resturant last night when someone spilled a drink on me (it was crowded). She apologized profusely and walked off. I was later told that she is on something called the Surreal Life. 1) How fitting. 2) I am find it disconserting that there is a television show on that *I have never heard of*. 3) I think I now officially live in Los Angeles, "Home of the Casual C-List Celebrity Encounter".

I used to be a DJ in college. Replacements, Soul Asylum, Decendents, Uncle Tupelo, Soundgarden, Mother Love Bone - you know, your basic early 90's college/indie rock. I miss it.

I am still unemployed, and it is getting down to the wire. My unemployment benefits are about to run out, and I am starting to think that Grand Plans such as mine only really work out in the movies. I am not unaware of the irony.

My favorite character is Faith. So much possibility. I also love Wesley. The character that has, in my opinion, undergone the most (and most belivable) changes. Plus, I think my heterosexuality will remain intact if I state that he's just *dreamy*.

My biggest fault is that I think most people are stupid. Deeply stupid. Then again, as far as guiding philosophies go, I think I could do worse.

Single. Perhaps not blissfully so, but happy nonetheless.

I hate it when people say the word, "irrregardless." It's not a word. Say 'irrespective' or 'regardless'. I have not idea why this bothers me as much as it does.

I love this board because I get to hear opinions and ideas of the shows and about life that I would have never gotten on my own. I love OnM's reviews. I love the writings of both HonorH and Honorificus. I love the fact fact that I was thrown into a crisis of confidence when I liked an episode of "Buffy" and Rob didn't. I seriously thought, "What the hell is wrong with me?" I love shadowkat's stream of conciousness writings. They often make me woosy, forcing me to lie down. This is good.

And finally, Chunky Monkey. Best. Ice cream. Ever.


[> Excellent idea! -- AurraSing, 13:07:24 02/18/03 Tue

It's nice to share or so my mother always told me.........

Hmmnn,where to start?

I'm a card-carrying geek,weaned on Star Trek and grew up reading SF and fantasy voraciously.Was the eldest of four kids;none of us share much in common aside from the family nose,which could be described as "loud and proud".

Gave into my love of animals and graduated college as a veterinary technician,worked in the field for twenty years until I realised that it was wearing me down physically and mentally as well. Still love animals-my five cats and three dogs are proof of that.To this day I still laugh at anyone who finds owning that many pets incredible since they obviously have not met my two kids!! My newest hobby is showing my new dog,Masquerade,which makes for a wonderful excuse to travel and meet new people.

Happily married for nearly 14 years to a sports-jock I met through a mutual friend.Will admit that it was disdain (on both sides) at first sight but we have grown together over the years and except for the fact that he'll always be able to run circles around me,we make a pretty good fit.Have two children;a boy and a girl,both of who think Buffy is the coolest and have become voracious readers like their mother.

Love the ocean and consider snorkeling the finest past-time ever.Dislike rude,pushy people and those who have no time to stop and smell the roses or even the manure,for that matter.

Wanted to become a cinematographer for many years because I love,love,*love* movies.Worship those who can contructively snark their way through a movie critique.......

Am an observer of the human race.Could never see myself living in a large city but I do enjoy visiting there is only to assure myself that yes,I will be going home to peace and quiet soon!

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- lunasea, 13:12:15 02/18/03 Tue

I usually don't fill out bios or answer questionaires. I have several reasons for this.

1. I change so often, that most of what I write isn't true by the time I hit enter.
2. I don't have a clue about myself
3. I don't have a clue about others and don't know what they would find interesting
4. I am such an egotist that I like to remain a mystery and think about the millions of people around the world who sit at their computers trying to figure me out.

To be honest, whenever I try to sound witty, I come off as pretentious. Very few people ever laugh at my jokes anyway, including my husband. I wanted to have "laught at all her jokes" inserted into the wedding vows. I also wanted Mister Mister's "Kyrie Eliason" piped into the church. I didn't get that either.

If I forget to write full sentences and drop my subjects, you will have to excuse me. It is just how I think. I try to go back in and put in things like I and Buffy, but every now and then, I do miss a few. You'll also notice that my spelling sucks. By the time I learned to spell, my reading level was so far ahead that I had no interest in spelling. My spelling matches my accent, which is mid-Atlantic (I grew up outside of DC, in the same neighborhood that the sniper mainly struck). I have no problem with gentle corrections, but don't expect me to actually change my spelling. One reminder (or several) doesn't match up to 31 years on the planet.

Super cool fact: David Boreanaz and I were born at the same hospital exactly 2 months apart. I remember my age by remembering his. I can't remember my own age. It keeps changing. Also his father is the weatherman my in-laws watch. I actually saw his father before I saw an episode of Buffy. I was subjected to the Mummer's Parade as a newly wed.

(another interesting fact, I like using parentheses)

My most recent tragedy is finding out that my eyesight is deteriorating so quickly that we have to start thinking about ways of halting this. On the eyesight front, my younger daughter had to start wearing glasses before she was 2 because she inherited my eyes. Since the vision in her eyes is a full 2 diopter difference, she has a lazy eye. Luckily it looks like we will avoid surgery. Her glasses are so cute. They are tiny and pink and wrap around her ears. When she doesn't want to wear them she brings them to me and says "break."

Speaking of my adorable younger daughter, she is a Buffy fanatic. When I am watching reruns on FX, she comes and sits on the bed with me. She says "Watch Buffy" and won't move. Last week she decided that she was the grr argh monster. She walks across the room with her hands out saying RRRRR RRRRRRR. Now every time we say that she is a monster, she does it. She knows the characters on sight.

So does her older sister, the super genuis. She is 6 and in Kindergarten (late birthday). She won't watch the show (at least she won't come into the room), but knows all the main characters and their backstories. She also knows all the songs from OMWF.

That just leaves my husband. I married Season 4 Riley. It is all his fault that I even watch the show. He figured since I liked vampires, it would be something fun for us to watch together. Little did he know that he would become a Buffy-widower. When he annoys me (which isn't often), I speak only in lines from the shows. He leaves for Officer Candidate School in a few weeks. I won't see him again until June for a wedding and then July for his graduation. After that, who knows where we will end up.

Such is my life.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- fresne, 13:15:00 02/18/03 Tue

I am narcissistic. Mainly because itís all about me, me, me. Oh, and occasionally ME. Iím fairly introspective, what with the narcissism and all and an introvert in extroverted clothing.

Witness my webpage, which is about me, oh, and my housemate. We are currently engaged in a project to take as many on-line quizzes as possible. Since I am apparently Good, Bryon, Juliet (of Romeo loving fame), an armored tank, Rent and a Pomegranate, I feel that the experiment is a success thus far.

And then thereís my costuming, which are about me looking really good. And the dancing, which isnít about me, but should be. I have small feet (children shop in my size), please donít step on them.

I guess you could say Iím single. I guess you could say Iím not. My personal life is needlessly complex. Iím currently working out the dynamics of platonic life partnerness with my housemate. Weíre plotting retirement in 30 or so years. She bought me tissues with lotion in them when I was sick.

I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and my housemate and I have over a thousand books in a mini-roomlet of a room that looks out at the bay. We have deliberately filed all fiction together so that we can file ìgreat works of literatureî next to some of the most appallingly poorly written smut that you can imagine. The Illiad next to ìTempestuous Dawnî and that sort of thing.

Obviously, Buffy is one of my favorite shows, which considering what Iíve just said about my other tastes would be worrisome, but, oh, whatever.

I am 31 and loving it.

I am female and I love black leather boots. They make me feel like oppressing small 3rd world countries. I believe history would have been vastly different if Cortez had worn ballet slippers.

I find history fascinating. Well, actually the connections in the story. Math, not really my strong point.

I am a technical writer at a large corporate cube maze where I write things that in no way resemble what I write here.

I digress, a lot.

I like to make alot one word even though I know that it isnít. I know the difference between their and theyíre, but must carefully review my writing to ensure that it is clear that I know the difference. Grammar is a beast from the nether regions set to plague me with infernal plaguiness. My company has stopped stocking red pens, which upsets me, because while I donít want grammar inflicted upon myself, it is quite enjoyable to make the documents of others bleed. Blue is not the same.

I am white, pale, pasty and therefore am a confirmed sunscreen addict.

If youíre gothic and you know it, dress in black.
If youíre gothic and you know it, dress in black.
If youíre gothic and you know it, then youíre clothes will surely show it.
If youíre gothic and you know it, dress in black.

I am not a goth, nor did I write that (except for the typing part), but I find that really funny. Although, I do enjoy the odd picnic in cemeteries, black garments, silver anks, the word ennui.

I went to UC Santa Cruz and am therefore a banana slug (our mascot, it was a protest thing. Mascots enforce the blah, blah paradigm.). We did not have grades. Narrative Evaluations, which can be considerably scarier. There were more trees than classrooms and I spent my four years in a state of excellent physical condition walking up and down hills among the redwood trees. I have a degree in Literature. I found out the day that I was graduating that I was getting honors in my major. It was written on a 3 by 5 index card with my name on it.

After graduating, I lived in England/Ireland/traveled for about ten months. I did it to procrastinate because I didnít know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I have subsequently decided that I want to be Elizabeth Bennett when I grow up.

I occasionally suspect that I am a grownup.

Saturday morning cartoons seem to be going through a pokeman dry spell, but eventually I expect to resume with the watching.

I am incredibly obsessive compulsive, but I can never predict about what. Fred Astaire. Love, love, love him. T. E. Lawrence, fascinating. Dante. Well, you know. The things that I keep mentioning. Certain ideas just have spark. They consume me. I feel them running in my blood like inevitable wine dark seas and I give in. Burn up. Wash away. See where they take me. You can learn some interesting things that way.

Iím in love with language. Long sentence. Long sentence. One word. Words that are star crossed lovers Donít belong together, but nothing can keep them apart.

I am in a capricious mood. This happens somewhat frequently.

[> [> You crack me up! -- Caroline, 14:08:02 02/18/03 Tue

'I have subsequently decided that I want to be Elizabeth Bennett when I grow up.'

I fell off the chair laughing. Add dry, wry wit to your resume.

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- John, 15:19:00 02/18/03 Tue

Hi everyone, been enjoying the bios.

I'm one of the senior poster/lurkers (my posts tend to be archived soon after I post them), being, sad to say, 59 going on 20. Someday I'll figure out what I want to be when I grow up, and I had better do it soon, like before retirement!

I'm an attorney, working in Juvenile Court as a public defender. I'm also a fiddler with my own celtic band (and we even have a CD so I guess we're legit).

My father was in the Army, so I travelled a lot in my dependent days, including Japan, Germany and Iran. Of course, being in those places was like being in a little America in the midst of Japan, Germany and Iran. I have a terrible time picking up languages, which I think is because I became deaf in my right ear around the age of 10. Fortunately, I had learned to understand, speak, read and write fairly decent America English by then, so I didn't really understand why I couldn't seem to pick up other languages. Left me pretty depressed when I did manage to graduate, as to being able to succeed in academic areas.

My family settled in the Washington, DC area, so I would up there working as a photographer for a large construction company. Learned there that private industry was not necessarily better than government. I found out by accident that there might be a connection between my one-ear deafness and my inability to learn other languages, did some research on the psychology of learning and hearing, and got the courage to go to law school.

After working for a year in the law-firm-from-hell, from which I managed to get fired, I eventually wound up at a juvenile public defender, which I really enjoy. I like working with young people who still have a chance in life, even if they've done some stupid and bad things.

That is part of my interest in Buffy (haven't really gotten into Angel yet, but it's coming). I'm a fairly recent convert to Buffymania, having discounted the show, based on the movie and the title, until "Once More with Feeling" showed. Since then, I've been hooked and have most of all the episodes of all seasons on DVD or tape. I've come to really like most all of the characters and love the way ME has allowed them to grow. Haven't figured out a way to relate Buffy to most of my clients yet, but I'm working on it. Maybe I should have them look at "Bad Girls" as an assignment He he he!

Unlike some, I don't see the S7 Buffy as any more unlikeable than previous season Buffy's, but see her as having taken a responsiblilty which requires her to act like the general she has become. I think the portrayal of Buffy this season very accurately portrays a person faced with the responsibilities and resources she has.

I live with my SO, who is also a juvenile public defender and is also in my band, and with three cats, who tend to run the house.

I've only posted a few items to the Board, but I follow it every day and very much enjoy the posts for their variety, wisdom, wit, and fascinating discussions, and I thank Masq. for starting the Board and Darby for starting this thread.

Soon it will be time for the new Buffy episode, can't wait, and the VCR is already programmed.


[> Terrific idea Darby ! -- Etrangere, 13:44:59 02/18/03 Tue

I'm 21
Virgo Ascendant Pisces Moon in Aquarius, Venus and Mercury in Balance.
I live in Paris. I have an older sister.
I love :
Reading Science Fiction and Fantasy (among favorite authors George RR Martin, Guy Gabriel Kay, Erikson, Gaiman, Friedman, Banks, Gentle, Egan, Leguin...)
Reading mangas. Recently discovered comics.
Buffy (doh!), the Season 6. I'm very disapointed by this year's season. I used to be a B/S shipper, but due to both of them becoming boring this year I'm considering Dawn/ Faith.
Poetry... I'm a fan of Verlaine, Appolinaire, Nerval... Would like to know more than I do of anglo saxon poets.
I've wanted to write fiction since I was nine but I haven't come around that yet.
I study anthropology (3rd year) at the University of Nanterre. I love to learn about religions, myths and legends. Love what I learn about those on this board.
I also love Tori Amos, American Beauty, and came around watching Farscape recently so I've still got plenty of episodes to see before grieving.... I'm very sad about Firefly though.
I love cats, but haven't got any since my father's allergic to them. I compensate by having a boyfriend who's got tones of them. He's the one I blame for not coming on the board as often as I used to.
I love Roleplaying games. I've actually been writing for a french rpg game, Agone.
I love horses (more than cat) and horse riding but i suck at it. Also loves sailing and ping pong.
Love chatting on the internet. I'm not asocial but I don't have an easy time making deep bonds with people.

[> A Tale of Terror and Relief -- Darby, 14:45:11 02/18/03 Tue

This morning, I had a particularly visceral nanosecond of horror when I hit "Approve," but there it was. I posted and left the house to do errands. On the road, I started to experience what I've heard Rahael describe, that abject fear that goes with exposing a bit too much of oneself. How would people react?

But the responses - this is fun! I'm so very glad to have pushed the pebble down the hill here! Keep the boulder (or, in keeping with my current environment, the really huge snowball) growing, please!

And Sara really isn't mad at me, happy to say. She'll even be responding here, she says. Eventually.

Oh, I meant to say that my Mom and I have a history of driving each other crazy, a tradition my son is proudly continuing, while my mother smiles.

[> A few tidbits... -- Random, 15:13:05 02/18/03 Tue

Nice idea, Darby. I'm gonna start with the fact that I'm a very private person, then segue into spinning off a few random (heh, heh) tidbits.

I'm a very private person. Not antisocial or asocial(not even close) but generally grudging in what information I relay about myself. If somebody really pesters me, though, I generally open up a little. I'm very good-tempered, so pestering is safe, though being an ass**** isn't.

I really like watching people, and generally wish I could spend my days in some apt location -- coffeehouse, business plaza, zoo -- and just watch the passersby and make up my own little theories about the kinds of lives they lead. It's an endless fascination of mine, the way we pass by or smile at or glance over thousands of people a year and never quite realize that they all have lives as rich and complex and sad and passionate as ours. "Humanity" is, for me, less a collective than six billion unique sagas.

I have been a teacher (of sorts...a TA anyway), a baker, worked in educational testing, and currently restore, repair and conserve old books -- it's interesting, but very delicate and nerve-wracking work. I do it because it's fulfilling and unusual -- it's not exactly highly renumerative. (note for Darby: standardized tests are a group effort, but most of the writers are of a type -- highly intellectual and overly-analytical. They have to be in order to create questions that are both accessible and prescriptive...and don't have vague solutions.)

I grew up reading copiously -- for reasons I'm not ready to share, sorry. The first non-"Dick and Jane"-type book I read was "The Little Prince" when I was four. Then "The Hobbit." Clearly, my old love of fantasy derives from my early childhood.

Like aquaman, I love scuba diving, though I haven't done it in several years.

Chess is quite possibly the perfect game, from my perspective. I'm about mid-level in skill, playing mostly from intuited patternings.

I'm definitely a cat person. I really think I've intuited why the ancient Egyptians venerated cats.

I was raised to think for myself (both parents are college-graduates, one several times over) and became an agnostic. But recently I've had to confront the fact that the parents who raised me have returned to religion. But they are still two of the smartest people I've ever met in my life.

Despite my freethinking, I have never believed that morality or art can be judged on a sheerly relativistic scale.

I don't watch much TV. I'd far rather read or write. Except Buffy. Though, oddly enough, I've never read a BtVS novel or comic book.

I love classical music, jazz, and the blues. But I'll dance in a bar to just about anything, except country.

I'm not sure exactly how I feel about being a BtVS fan. Part of me knows that my friends find it a bit odd because I'm generally not the type to obsess about something, especially not a TV show. Another part of me says, To hell with them.

I've spent eight years in college, and learned that overeducation has made asses out of more people than greed, jealousy and power combined.

I can't understand people who take life for granted, who never stop and ask the important questions: Why? How? Where am I going with my life? Nor can I understand those who already have all the answers to those questions.

I love the rain. Sometimes I'll go outside and just stand in it for twenty minutes. Maybe dance a little. (I don't get sick easily.)

I love to write, but, being a very private person, have no interest in publishing. But everyone -- and I mean everyone -- I know puts pressure on me to publish. So eventually I'll give in and at least try to do so.

I'm not materialistic, but not anti-materialistic either. Money's a useful thing.

I sometimes get a little sad that there are so many interesting people that I encounter here that I'll never get to meet. As I said, I'd rather spend a day getting to know a potential friend than lie on the beaches of Aruba. Of course, combining them would be a perfect day. In any event, that's why I have never been much into chat rooms, posting boards, et cetera. Excepting this one. Sometimes I feel a little odd establishing a bond with posters here (because I'll never meet them) but then I realize that's exactly what goes on here every day, and I'm just doing what the other posters have been doing for years. So I've grown fairly comfortable here.

[> [> Oh, and.. -- Random, 15:22:35 02/18/03 Tue

I don't usually take myself so seriously -- sometimes, but not as a general thing. I'm a Camus-ian absurdist at heart, and the fact that two of my close friends are stand-up comedians (professionally, that is) and one writes comedies for the stage (professionally) tells you a little something about me and mine.

"Life's a game that must be played
This truth at least, good friends, we know:
So live and laugh and be not dismayed
As one by one the phantoms go."

--??? (can anyone help me with the author? it's one of my favorite little quatrains. I murmur it to myself at least once a day.)

[> [> [> Re: Oh, and.. -- Angela, 15:28:06 02/18/03 Tue

Life is the game that must be played, this truth at least, good friends, we know; so live and laugh, nor be dismayed as one by one the phantoms go. -- Edwin Arlington Robinson

[> [> [> [> A million thanks! Love Robinson, so I must have read it at some point and forgotten -- Random, 15:46:28 02/18/03 Tue

[> Hi. I'm HonorH, and I think too much. -- HonorH, 15:35:05 02/18/03 Tue

I'm HonorH. That's short for "Katie".

I'm 28 and attempting to be an adult.

At the moment, I'm a substitute teacher both in the Anchorage School District and at a couple of private Christian schools in town. One of them looks likely to hire me on full-time next school year, so go, me.

I love writing with an undignified passion. Wish I could make money at it, but never quite made that leap. Until I do, I'll be churning out perfectly grotesque amounts of fanfiction, which I love to read and write.

I am a full-blown Christian, a transformed follower of Jesus Christ. Does that frighten you?

My obsessions are the Jossverse and "Lord of the Rings". I think both Tolkien and Peter Jackson were/are geniuses. Have watched FotR far too many times both in the theater and on DVD (Extended Version and Appendices), and I've seen TTT three times in the theater and hope to catch it at least once more before it goes to the second-run theaters. Then I'll catch it there.

Favorite authors: at the moment, C.S. Lewis and Neil Gaiman.

People I love: My family, which includes Mom, Dad, two older sisters, one older brother, my oldest sister's husband and their three kids, my other sister's fiance, and my brother's wife and their son. My friends. My 'net correspondants, particularly Gyrus and Tanja.

Things I love: Really good TV and movies (and I don't see much of either), reading, writing, teaching, chocolate, coffee, and Alaska.

Guilty pleasures: "American Idol". Oh, come on, you love it, too! Also, entertainment magazines. I get my weekly fix at Barnes & Noble.

Pet peeves: ill-thought-out arguments, badfic, character bashing, clothing makers who don't take into account that many women have these things called "breasts" and "hips", ill-fitting shoes, bras that pinch, car alarms that wake me in the middle of the night, bad drivers, cell phones in general, bad coffee, and stupid commercials. Also, my Super-Evil Alter-Ego.

That's a little pinch of me for your day!

[> [> Yes you do, but such majestic thoughts they are! -- Random, 16:07:01 02/18/03 Tue

[> [> I can beat you with guilty pleasure! -- Rob, 19:14:31 02/18/03 Tue

Mine (shudder) is The Anna Nicole Show. I know, I'm a sick, sick individual and must be stopped immediately!


[> [> [> After that revelation, Rob, I'll never see you the same way again. Err, read you, that is. -- Solitude1056, feeling queasy., 19:25:09 02/18/03 Tue


Anna Nicole. Sheesh. So much for Art!

[> [> My hubbie and I are just re-reading The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe -- Helen, 04:32:47 02/19/03 Wed

so its great to see someone else is a CS Lewis fan - he's not too fashionable these days, but so uplifting.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Lilac, 15:35:36 02/18/03 Tue

Such a nice thread Darby -- thank you for starting it.

I think my motto in life must be "I should be working". I should have been working when I read all of the fascinating posts in this thread, and I should be working instead of writing this. Ah, well, the work always gets done eventually.

I am coming up on the end of my 40's, difficult though that is for me to believe sometimes. I have been with my husband almost forever -- lived together for 5 years before marrying 22 years ago. Kept my own name and ideas, so the only difference between living together and being married is that we get to share insurance. My husband is a carpenter/remodeler, a wonderful craftsman, and a truly good man. We have one son, 15, who is the light of both our lives -- in the moody fashion of boys that age. My boy is a gifted artist and musician, and almost a foot taller than I am now, so he delights in moving me around the house at will. It is annoying.

We have three cats, a dog named Buffy, and three tanks of fish. If push came to shove and for some odd reason I could only ever have one kind of pet in my life, it would be cats, but please don't tell Buffy as I don't want her feelings to be hurt. She is a sensitive girl. Of course, I also think she thinks she IS a cat and not a 90 pound Labrador.

In the 70's I got a Humanities degree with a concentration in Women's Literature. In the 80's I got an MBA in Marketing. By the end of the 80's I got tired of being fired because of companies being bought, sold, or reorganizing, so I started working out of my home for my last employer. That was great, and lasted from the time my son was 4 until he finished 8th grade. In 1995 a friend got me started teaching introductory computer science classes at the university where he works. I am a self taught power user of both Macs and Windows. Four years later, he recommended me to my local community college, where I have been happily, if not lucratively, teaching away ever since. I like the school, like my students, like the proximity to home, and know I will never get a full time job there. Sigh.

When I am not doing some computer thing or another, I do art work. I have done sculpture, worked in glass and wood, and have recently been painting fairly seriously. It brings a lot of balance into my life. It took having an artistic child to reawaken my artist within, and I am glad that happened. I am a good cook but a great baker.

I believe in lifetime learning. I recently realized I have racked up 39 credit hours at the school I work at (only three since I have been working there -- I've been too busy recently). I firmly believe that challenging yourself helps you grow through your life. I read a lot -- mysteries, some sci fi, books on the creative process, whatever.

This last couple of weeks I have been coping with the challenge of watching one of my best friends lose her battle with cancer. She has been fighting a form of lymphoma for almost 20 years -- it's winning now. I have been traveling 30 miles in each direction to sit with her in the hospital every day that I can. My heart is breaking watching her go through this and I am in awe of the strength she has shown throughout her ordeal. Life can be glorious, but boy does it suck sometimes.

I read this board religiously, but obviously only post sporadically. As a result, I am sure I feel many of you much more than any of you know me. Still, I feel like a member of this community and I deeply appreciate the contribtions of those of you with more to say than me.

[> [> Oh foof, and I thought I had proofread so carefully. Sorry. -- Lilac, 15:41:42 02/18/03 Tue

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- LadyStarlight, 15:37:10 02/18/03 Tue

Interesting idea, Darby.

Vital stats first: 31 (soon to be 32 in March), husband, 2 spawn (both boys - almost 8 and almost 4; btw, the accusation of child labour leveled by Dead Soul is completely erroneous. How can I teach my kids to be productive members of society if I can't teach them to clean their rooms? And besides, they're too small to run the vacuum cleaner yet. So there! :P)

I found that as I got older, my circle of friends shrank considerably. Until, of course, I found this site. Many like-minded people whom I like to chat at. Some have become real friends off-list too.

Right now, I'm debating over two proposed aliases. I like pr10n's Mistress of Order and Chaos, as it so rightly sums up both parts of life -- on and off-line. ;) But I also love OnM's The Sidereal Coder, as it makes me feel like I should be wearing a long duster, cowboy boots and a black hat. As long as someone else keeps any cows away, of course.

I LOVE to read. I'll read anything, anytime, anywhere. In fact, Dedalus called me a freak one time in chat because I owned up to the fact that I can read very quickly. Not that I'm still upset or anything....

I tend to have an even temperament, but if you hack me off, watch out! Passive-aggressiveness combined with a tendency to hold a grudge isn't fun.

I'm also struggling with major back problems. Like dub, I'm a proud Canadian, and that means a 6 month+ wait to see a neurosurgeon. That's why I haven't been posting too much recently. My biggest fear is that the neurosurgeon will want to see me on June 6, 'cause that ain't happening.

I'll probably think of a million other things to add, but I'm tapped out for right now. Also, Spawn #2 is doing something ominously quiet with cereal in the kitchen I JUST cleaned up.

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- Humanitas, 16:55:22 02/18/03 Tue

All right, I barely count as a poster anymore (@#%% Real Life, I barely have time to lurk), but here goes...

I am an enormous geek, by which I mean a person who A) Knows entirely too much about a given subject and B) Has an urge bordering on Compulsion to talk about it. My subjects are Swordfighting (modern, theatrical, and historical), History, Movies, and (as though this were a surprise) Buffy.

Cat person, although I am feline-deprived at the moment, due to living conditions. :(

I agree with TCH about being able to visualize people behind their posts, although I have yet to see a picture of a poster that looks anything like I imagined. I go on undauntedly picturing, though.

I am a teacher in the public school system in Florida. Despite this, I continue to be an optimist.

I sew.

I am un-married, but I am hopelessly in love with a wonderful woman, also a Buffy fan. We don't have a lot of money, so some of our early dates were sitting on the couch in my apartment, watching old episodes taped from FX. Thing I love most about her: She's smarter than I am.

And now I have to go, because the new episode is going to start in a few minutes. See you all afterwards!

[> [> [> Oh, you still count. -- Solitude1056, 19:15:45 02/18/03 Tue

Taint no way I'm deleting your post - not until you send me guest tickets for the festival... during a year when I have money again to pay for plane, hotel, rental car, and new shoes. So until then, lurk often, lurk well, and post at least once a month!

So... who's the lucky gal? Where's my email with the latest? ;-)

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- Dead Soul, 20:23:21 02/18/03 Tue

2 spawn (both boys - almost 8 and almost 4; btw, the accusation of child labour leveled by Dead Soul is completely erroneous. How can I teach my kids to be productive members of society if I can't teach them to clean their rooms? And besides, they're too small to run the vacuum cleaner yet. So there! :P)

LS, I've told you time and again that you have to use the cattleprod, not just threaten them with it.

From indulged and undisciplined spawn come useless and rebellious minions. And you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- yabyumpan, 16:25:27 02/18/03 Tue

EEEEK! Scary, Scary. I've kept comming back to this thread for the past few hours thinking "shall I do it? what will I say? Am I brave enough?" So now I'm here typing and not really knowing what to say having thought about it for ages....oh well, here goes nothing....

I'm a 43 year old woman (that was easy!), living on her own with now just the one cat. Brought up in a Feminist, Socialist, Christian, Royalist household.

Left home a week after my 18th birthday, married a Hells Angel and spent my late teens/early twenties out of my head on various chemicals, herbs and fungi. Most of the time I had fun (I think).

Got out of all that, discovered Buddhism, re-discovered politics, got into the Green Movement. Spent most of the next 20 years trying to 'change/save the world'. Spent a lot of time writing letters, organizing events, sitting on bulldozers, getting arrested (although never charged).

Moved away from Buddhism about 10 years ago (it didn't feel 'earthy' enough for me). Got into 'New Age' spirituality/Paganism. Worked with meditation to 'Heal the Earth', working with raising 'positive energy' and the 'Hundreth Monkey' principal (yes, I know it was never repeated but the principal still stands IMO). Set up an annual 'World Healing Day' 7 years ago with my, now, ex-boyfriend, covering over 100 countries.

Crashed 2 years ago. Moved, split up with said boyfriend, became disillusioned with the people involved in the Earth Healing project and the idea itself and then there was a shooting practically outside my front door. I went down to help and ended up holding a tea towel to the guy's head in an attempt to stop his brains from falling out. He died before the ambulance arrived. 9/11 happened a few weeks later and I went into free fall.

I went from being very positive, bright and full of hope to the complete opposite; this world is crap, humanity/the world isn't worth saving anyway, why bother?

Evening out now (it's all about balance) with help of understanding friends and a good therapist. Still in pretty much a hermit state but that's starting to change as well (I could never have met up with Rah & KDS a year ago). AtS has also helped. To disappear into but also as a way to look into myself. Why do I relate so much to Angel? What is it about Wesley that really winds me up? What buttons does he push? (my therapist had never heard of BtVS or AtS before I came along, now he talks about Angel and Wesley freely)

That's the history but Darby asked "Who are you?". That's the hard part, at the moment I have no idea.

I love cats, in fact,love all animals.
Vegetarian (lapsed Vegan)
Fascinated by Africa, have been since I had to do a project on Botswana at school when I was seven.(I'll get there one day)
Pretty shy (esp now). Don't socialise to well, get very nervous about meeting new people.
Love music and going to gigs, geting back into that. Over the past 18 months I've seen Julian Cope, Patti Smith and the Indigo Girls plus various classical concerts at the Proms. Pissed I missed seeing U2.
Education/Academia is my Achilles heel. I find it nearly impossible to study. I've lost count of number of courses I've droped out of. I put it down to my 'over achieving' 'got more letters after her name than in it' mother and my genius but alcoholic sister. But it could be just that I'm lazy ;-)
I've smoked half a dozen ciggies while typing this.
I'm a Massage therapist/Aromatherapist (when I'm not working on the switchboard at the hospital). Would love to do it full time. It's where I feel most centred and at peace and I'm darn good at it ;o)

Finishing now, feeling like I've just flayed myself, wondering if i have the courage to press send..........

[> [> Now that's a biography I'd like to read... what a long strange trip it's been! ;-) -- Solitude1056, 16:36:18 02/18/03 Tue

[> [> This feels self-indulgent..... -- yabyumpan, 18:27:13 02/18/03 Tue

...but re-reading my post I feel weird not mentioning my Dad.

My Dad was a wonderful man, the youngest child in a large East End family. In his mid thirties, while away at college training to be a Social Worker, he realised he was Gay. This was in the mid-sixties, Homosexuality was still illegal in the UK. He'd been married for about 13 years and had four children. The realisation made him have a break down and he spent some time in a psychiatric hospital where they tried to 'cure' him. (I shudder to think what he went through). He finished college and came back home. Him and my mother reached an agreement (I think she was slightly relieved, no more of that nasty 'sex' stuff). They stayed together for 45 years, still loving each other and the best of friends. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place, if he'd left there is no way at the time he would have been able to have access to his children and I also don't think he could have stood the shame but by staying he could never fully be who he was. Apart from a few years in the early 70's he wasn't really very active. He joined a group for other men in his situation, went to the Opera as often as he could afford and once a year his group went away together. Most of the time though, he stayed at home with his family.
After suffering for 2 years with Cancer, he died nearly 5 years ago, surrounded by his family; my mum, my youngest brother (my older brother couldn't make it to the hospice in time), my older sister and her grown up daughter, myself and his 2 brothers. He died surrounded by love. It was horrible, I still miss him like hell.

I don't really know why I felt complled to write this only that it felt I was dis-honouring and denying him by not mentioning him in my original post. I sometimes ask myself 'who I would be if Homosexuality had not been illegal and shameful when he was growing up?' It's a bit like the sound of one hand clapping, it makes my brain go kaplooy and dribble out of my ears ;-)
He was kind and gentle and loving and could stop babies crying just by smiling at them. Children loved him. A few weeks after his death I was visiting my younger brother. He and his son who was about four, were messing about, with Chris, my nephew, calling my brother silly names. Suddenly he stopped and looked at myself and Philip (my brother) and said "Grandad was your Dad wasn't he?" We nodded " He's in heaven now isn't he" we nodded "I miss your Dad, he was lovely"

[> [> [> Re: This feels self-indulgent..... -- luna, 19:22:06 02/18/03 Tue

My son is gay--no, he's bi--but I've been thankful every single day that he's grown up in a time (1990's) and place (San Francisco) where he didn't have to suffer as your dad did. Even the people my age, here in the South, who didn't have the terible trauma your dad experienced seem to have really suffered, although some have come through like shining lights. I hope every person will be able to grow up free to be whatever, and let all their beauty shine.

But your dad had a great, loving daughter.

[> [> [> A true and lovely tribute -- Sara, 19:53:09 02/18/03 Tue

I think you've painted a wonderful picture of your dad that shares him with the rest of us. My father died, I don't know - 4 or 5 years ago, my time sense is really messed up regarding it, I think Princess Diana died a month later, but maybe it's just confusion on my part. I just remember being angry everytime a famous person died that year, because even though it was sad, and it could be someone the world had a right to mourn, I kept feeling what about my father, why wasn't the world mourning him, why didn't they realize that there was this gaping hole in the world? I think the thing I loved most about him was how honest he was to himself, flaws and all, he never hid who he was or made excuses. I wish I could live up to his example, but I'm doing better trying than if I didn't have it to strive for. Anyway, I'm done with my own ramble, but there's nothing self-indulgent about sharing someone you love.

[> [> [> That was lovely -- Tchaikovsky, 02:45:33 02/19/03 Wed

[> [> [> [> Yes it was! -- Rahael, 02:57:17 02/19/03 Wed

[> Oh, jeez. Most of you know me, and those that don't, are probably lucky. -- Solitude1056, 16:33:35 02/18/03 Tue

I cooked eggplant for the first time ever, last week.

Now the rainman gave me two cures,
Then he said, "Jump right in."
The one was Texas medicine,
The other was just railroad gin.
An' like a fool I mixed them
An' it strangled up my mind,
An' now people just get uglier
An' I have no sense of time.

I remain dubious as to why I need to say jack when I'm sure my reputation preceeds me, or something. I mean, hell. I pretend to run the Existential Scooby webpages, and that should be enough of a firestorm right there. Also known as The Second Evil. Masq already took The First, so I did the best I could, dammit.

Ireland would be a great vacation spot if they could just put a roof over the country.

Anyone who answers the question, "where do you want to eat?" with an answer consisting of, "I prefer American food," or "don't make me eat something I can't pronounce" is likely to find hirself suddenly without a dinner date. Life is too short for steak and potatoes. Week before last, I had intestines and sour cabbage for the first time in my life. It was excellent. The very next day, a friend found a place to buy pork uterus. I plan on buying some just to see the shopkeepers' expressions. Attack of the roundeyes!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed on grad school - now that I've finally gotten my bachelor's - but am suddenly having second thoughts on my preferred course of study. I want to do what Caroline does, but I want to do it with a PhD. Dammit, I wanna be a doctor. I want people to kowtow and crap. My father did Industrial Management, my mother did Industrial Psychology, my sister did Industrial Design. It seems only right I should study Industrial Organization. I just need to pass intermediate Economics...

In my next life, I will not sunburn, will have great abs, and will be able to leap tall buildings with at least three bounds. I have put in a request. I expect to hear back any day now, but I'm in no rush.

I like getting out and doing things, but I destroyed my eardrums in my late teen's and early twenty's as a bouncer, so loud social situations just turn into one huge headache. I prefer social situations where someone else is willing to do all the talking. Silence makes me panic; when you're raised in the Deep South, small talk is all you know, and a lack of it equates to a failure in social graces. I can actually talk about the weather for three hours, and dammit, I've done it when times required. Not saying I like it, but whatever. The problem with my bad hearing is that when we do meet, don't be surprised if I say "hunh?" every so often.

I don't like talking in person about the topic that caused us to first meet. When I met a group of fellow martial artists I knew from online, I got everyone to talk about hospitals. I met friends from an online Thelemic chat, and I kept trying to get everyone to discuss the Patriots' chances at the Superbowl. I meet Buffy folks from the ATPo boards, and I find myself dragging the discussion to foreign languages. Talking in person about what we already discuss endlessly online will bore me to a napkin-shredding frenzy.

To dutifully mimic everyone else's astrological lists, I'm a Virgo with Sag ascendent, which basically means I like to jump up and down while cleaning at the same time. This hyperphysicality is rarely visible the first ten times we meet. I also have Moon in Gemini in the 7th house, which justifies my belief that committment is a four-letter word. And I have Mars in Leo, which basically means that if you piss me off, I may not even notice, but if you attack a friend, I'll kill you. Nothing personal, of course, but consider yourself warned. A list of ATPo friends will be provided upon request.

A friend told me once I have an astrological basket chart, which is probably a nice way to say I'm a basketcase.

Last time I took the MBTI, I was an XNXP. I took the stupid test at age 10... INTJ. At age 17, ENTJ. At age 22, ENTP. At age 27, INTJ. At age 31, a very X version of INTP, which means I'm within 5 points of the E/I, T/F borders. It basically has little validity at this point, seeing how many times I've taken the damn thing. I have no idea what I am, but it's okay. I'm old enough to realize knowing what you are isn't half as important as liking yourself anyway.

I find myself telling people I'm 33, but I'm not. I'm 32. I won't be 33 until August rolls around, or maybe later if I forget. I'm not sure why I keep telling people I'm 33. I've always felt it's better to be an even number than an odd number, but thiry-three has a nice ring to it. (Or it's just a Masonic thing.) I may stay here for a few years until I get bored.

The toughest part about being back in school is that I have few braincells to expend on truly philosophical issues for the boards. I'm lucky if I can marshall a thought or two, these days, after an episode, but I've been considering it may be time to flex some muscle again and pull out the big guns on postmodernism and greed. Sometimes I feel guilty about not giving the board a whammy with some heavy-duty posts, and other times I get cranky that people think an episode review is the equivalent to a truly brain-crunching philosophical treatise. Me edjukated, me snob. Review and philosophy not same!

I was married for seven years, and now I'm not. I believe in 12-inch table saws, fry bread power, concealed carry permits, chopsticks, the first amendment, cheap calculators, loud car engines, trance remixes that don't involve someone saying "space" every five seconds, freely available contraceptives and people to use them with. In fact, I can think of a few people whose parents should've used contraceptives. I also believe in dog jokes. I don't have to sit, because I can't see you! I was barking, so I didn't hear you yell stay! Bwahaha, I'm a dog!

Dog logic:
All cats have four legs.
I have four legs.
Therefore, I am a cat.

Hmmm. Sometimes, this makes sense.

[> [> Your "33" comment made me smile. We must be on the same page there. -- A8, 18:20:16 02/18/03 Tue

I've decided that until the personal conflicts that have put my life into a state of suspended animation resolve themselves, I am going to stay at 33. Not too old to still have a lot of time to accomplish something meaningful, not too young to be taken lightly. I've tolled the clock in the meantime.

[> [> About those kowtows -- luna, 19:05:07 02/18/03 Tue

They don't. In fact they don't even give you jobs. You grovel to get one and grovel after you get it.

But for some reason we all want one.

[> [> [> Hey, no crushing the dreamer, here. ;-) -- Solitude1056, 19:08:38 02/18/03 Tue

[> [> Sol, don't do it! -- Caroline, 19:45:33 02/18/03 Tue

Don't become an economist - there's few private sector jobs left outside of think tanks and consulting firms, most major corporations have downsized their economics departments to a couple of economists who do really pedestrian work, academia is horribly male-dominated and filled with pissing contests and the public sector sucks. Plus, you won't meet interesting people. I'll never forget the words of my director when we were travelling around the Asian crisis countries in 1997 - 'My favourite thing to do on a Saturday afternoon is to read economic statistics'. AHHHHHHH run, far, far away. Why do you think I read the board at work?

As for the veracity of this post - I will provide references. Met Sol and several other posters for dinner last year and and we did not talk Buffy. That Mars in Leo is powerful stuff and Sol uses it to the hilt. But then my own ascedant is in Leo and I kinda like people who are who they are, if you get what I mean.

[> [> [> Uh, thanks. I think. -- Solitude1056, 19:55:11 02/18/03 Tue

I still like the idea of being where no one bugs me, looking at statistics, figuring out what they mean, telling people, and then going back to my box. Color me wierd, but I'm reclusive enough (at work) to think that'd just be nifty.

As for the rest, when are we getting together again for dinner? Email me!

[> [> [> [> Re: Uh, thanks. I think. -- Caroline, 08:16:51 02/19/03 Wed

If that's what you want, then perhaps this life does suit you. It's great when they leave you alone.

I've love to get together again for dinner, as long as you don't make me eat pork uterus! (But in my non-vegetarian past I've eaten raw meat, raw liver and tripe). But I can't find your email address - I've attached mine to this post.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Julia, 16:33:47 02/18/03 Tue

First, I must say that I think I'm in love with all of you. What an incredible bunch of people. And I have to say thanks to Masq for making her little website and thanks to everyone who helps make it such a wonderful place to play. And thanks Darby for starting this great thread. And now, before this starts sounding like an Oscar acceptance speech, here is my lengthy, little meme ganked from my own self:

My first pets were two gold fish named Moby Dick and Queequeg. I was less than two, so I donít think I named them. The next pet was a turtle who remains nameless in my memory. I took him outside in a brown paper bag to play with and he either 1) was run over by a lawn mower or 2) ran (slowly) away.

I remember a tarantula landing on our windshield once when I was in the car with my grandfather.

When I was three, my preschool class and I went on a trip to a turkey farm. We also had a violinist come and teach us the sounds of the strings. Not at the turkey farm.

In England, I stole flowers from a neighborís garden and gave them to my mother. Four years old and a thief. I had an English accent for about two years of my life. I donít think it had anything to do with the flower theft.

I remember sitting on the stones at Stonehenge. You canít do that anymore.

Iíve actually eaten mussels in Brussels.

I have a memory of my motherís father calling me ìDoll.î I can hear his voice very clearly even though he died when I was eleven. Recently, I found some tapes of him talking and I realized I had been hearing the voice correctly all along. Iíd wondered about it.

My maternal grandparents were Communists and my grandfather lost several jobs during the McCarthy witch hunts because of it. This is a family footnote of which Iím very proud. In 1947, these same grandparents received a letter of commendation from the town director thanking them for hosting a voter registration party at their home. 147 people were registered to vote.

I am second- and third-generation American.

Once I found the childrenís aspirin and doled out the bottle between me and my little brother. I think my dad made me throw it all up. But those orange aspirins were good!

The satin edge of my blankie wrapped itself around my throat in bed one night. That was the end of the blankie.

I sucked the two middle fingers of my right hand until I was nine. I quit at the same time I learned the multiplication tables.

I fell in love at first sight in Paris. Itís true. He was my first true love. I donít think Iíve ever gotten over it. Sure havenít had another.

Iíve seen over 50 Grateful Dead shows. They were a seminal force of change in my life and I canít imagine Iíd be the same person I am now without them. But maybe it was the drugs.

I was tormented all the way through fourth and fifth grade by an anti-Semitic blonde girl whose name I can no longer remember. But for years I used to have lurid revenge fantasies in which she was tortured and destroyed in any number of horrible ways. I canít remember those any more either.

When my mother told me to look into a couple of womenís colleges in high school, I told her she had to be kidding. Of course, two of them wound up being my first choices and one is my alma mater.

In high school, I read ìHuis Closî by Sartre in French class and then used it to write the AP English exam that year. I always thought that was kind of cool to be able to do.

French has consistently been the one skill that has made me employable throughout my life. And when I told my mother I wanted to major in it in college, she told me it was a terrible idea.

I loaned away my copy of Milan Kunderaís The Unbearable Lightness of Being to a boy I had a crush on after Iíd used it for my thesis. It was the book containing the majority of my notes and was really important to the intellectual snob that resides in me. The boy and the book are long gone. The snob lives on.

I had my first experiences of anti-Semitism upon moving to the west coast. My fifth grade teacher told my mother Iíd fit in better if I werenít so Jewish. I never did fit in better.

I was a girl scout for less than two years. I tried selling the cookies but got messed up with the ordering forms and donít think I actually managed to deliver any of the boxes.

Once, in the third grade, I played hooky. I used to have to walk my brother home from school at lunch. He was little and slow and that particular day we found a dead mole which needed a proper funeral service. So by the time we got home I was so late that I was scared to return to school. I spent the rest of the day hiding in a nearby park. There was a man in the playground with his little daughter who asked me why I wasnít in school, and I told him thereíd been a boiler accident. After that I hid in the woods, terrified Iíd be picked up by truant officers. When school let out, I went to my after school sitterís where I was given away by the daughter of my sitter. I had to apologize to my teacher and the principal. I can still remember sitting in the car with my mom, after sheíd found out but before I knew she knew, asking me, ìSo what did you do in school today?î

My first real crush was on Harrison Ford. I snuck to see ìRaiders of the Lost Arkî five times before I was allowed to see it and then an additional four times after being given permission. I wrote him a letter and got an autographed picture back. It remained on my bulletin board until I graduated from high school.

Since my parents were going through a particularly acrimonious divorce and my brother was having nightmares, my mom didnít want us to see scary things. Thatís why I had to sneak to see ìRaiders of the Lost Ark.î

When I listen to Ella Fitzgerald, the world is a better place and I can do anything.

I prefer ambient to overhead lighting.

I used to shoplift romance novels from the Safeway down the street. I kept them in one of the drawers in my captainís bed, arranged alphabetically. I finally gave them to the local library when we sold the bed.

My grandma used to warn me about ìsitting on my spineî while I read, all slouched down in the club chair in her living room. I now have terrible posture.

Living in Paris changed my fashion sense completely. When I arrived in Europe, I had an acid washed denim jacket. Itís probably decomposing in some dump there. Ah, the 80ís were cruel.

My favorite artists are Vincent van Gogh and Joan Mitchell. I have a van Gogh print in every room of my apartment, and if the Whitney had had a good Mitchell print, Iídíve gotten one of those too. Both of them used color as though they were defining it in their paintings: the platonic ideals of orange and purple, green and black.

The last time I was in New York, I had drinks in the Tribeca Grand which is prominently featured in the silly, fluff movie, ìTwo Weeks Noticeî with Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock. Seeing that hotel in the movie was better than the movie itself.

My mother has been slowly, slowly dying of multiple sclerosis for the last 24 years. Itís sped up in the last two, but sheís still taking an awful long time to do it.

I have spent an inordinate amount of time in emergency rooms.

When I was 13, we spent a week in Jerusalem. There are two vegetarian, Kosher Italian restaurants around the corner from each other: one is called Mamma Miaís, the other is Mamma Leoniís. One was recommended to us by the hotel; it is not the one to which the cab driver took us.

One of my favorite things to do is edit. This is why I adore beta reading. I still have a fantasy that I will be an editor in a wonderful publishing house someday. It occupies the spot right next to the one where I own a wonderful book store. None of which is anywhere near the fantasy spot occupied by Spike, LÈonidas chocolate sauce, and silk sheets.

My father died a few days before my 17th birthday. Heíd been sick for a long time and we didnít see each other at all in the last years of his life. His choice. Iídíve done it differently.

My first trip to France came when I was 14 in the summer between ninth and tenth grades. I had a headache the whole time I was there, but it was the summer that French became mine.

The idea of baths is more enticing than the reality.

I have no tattoos nor is anything other than my ears pierced.

Going to bars by myself is something I wish I were more comfortable with. In fact, I wish I were braver than I am.

So far my favorite word is epiphany. It sounds like lace.

Iíd rather be cold than hot and so prefer fall and winter to spring and summer. Although I love the transitions of the fall and spring.

I have been given two Wonder Woman Pez dispensers in my life.

This February will be four years since Iíve smoked a cigarette.

I am not a dog person. I am, however, slave to my cat, Stella, who seems to adore me despite my flaws and faults.

If I could, I would live in Paris, Venice, and New York. Four months a year per city.

The best dessert Iíve ever eaten in my life was at Lupa, a restaurant in Manhattan. It was dates in a spiced reserve sauce served on marscapone cheese. I would cross deserts and swim oceans to eat that again.

The last time I was in Paris, I threw up in a metro station wc. Couscous redux.

The congregation applauded when I sang at my bat mitzvah.

In high school, Monica and I wanted to be backup singers for Duran Duran. I donít think she followed through, but I was in bands for years because of that nascent desire. I stopped wanting to be anyoneís backup singer though.

One of my proudest accomplishments is a cd my brother and I recorded in 1997.

One of the saddest moments was the one when I knew we werenít going to be rock ën roll stars.

I ran away from home when I was seven. I packed my big dressup purse with clothes, took all the money out of my piggy bank, which was actually a ceramic cat bank my grandma had made for me, and began to sneak down the front stairs. My mom heard the creaks of the stairs and called out to me that dinner would be ready soon. So that was that.

That same year, my brother sleep-walked into my room, turned on the light, took my cat bank off the bureau, shook out the contents onto the floor, sat down next to the little pile of money, and started to cry. He was five and remembered nothing about it the next day. I, however, remember it as though it happened yesterday.

While babysitting for my professorís child in college, I cut my hand doing the dishes. I now have a lightning-shaped scar at the base of my right middle finger, running from first knuckle to heart line. It looks like Harry Potterís scar, but I had mine first.

When my cat is very happy, she chirps, and it makes my heart lurch.

I always worry about teaching the number soixante-neuf to the kids at school. I know the guffaws and hilarity that will ensue and it just makes me uncomfortable.

I have had excema since birth, not severely, but sometimes it is the bane of my existence.

My paternal grandfather looked like Clark Gable.

I design beaded jewelry.

Iíve studied the flute, the recorder, voice, piano, and guitar. I can sing pretty well and thatís about it. Last year someone told me I sound like Shirley Manson from Garbage. Thatís nice. To be told you sound like Garbage. Er.

I actually have a motto though Iím not always good at living by it. Have a good time, all of the time. Thatís my motto.

When I was a baby, my mother had to hide the books from me so that I wouldnít cry to be read to. She tells me that once I could crawl, I used to take the books off the lowest shelf and play with them, but she doesnít remember my ever hurting a book. One of my fondest and oldest memories is of being held on her lap and learning to read.

I donít have much conscious memory of the time before I could read.

When we lived in Pittsburgh, I used to read by the light of the bathroom. Mom and Dad would tuck me in, turn off my light, turn off the bathroom light, and say goodnight. Then I would get up and turn the bathroom light on and read until Dad would come and turn it off then Iíd turn it on again. I guess this would continue until I fell asleep.

I have a terrible habit of running the edges of pages under my thumbnail and smooshing the sharp corners. This is a worse habit when itís someone elseís book.

Iíve owned three Saabs none of which cost more than $1800. The first, and most beloved, was named Coco both for my perfume and for its color.

I am a Virgo and you can tell by my cd collection.

My favorite poem is ìJabberwockyî by Lewis Carroll.

Once, on a cross country trip, I made a one hundred mile detour to visit Laura Ingalls Wilderís homestead. South Dakota is my favorite state.

After Hurricane Andrew hit, one of my neighbors sold all his things and went to build new housing in Florida. I bought his jazz cd collection for fifty dollars and never looked back. Itís what got me out from under the drugged weight of the Dead and opened me up to many new and wonderful musicians.

I have been in love with Prince, David Bowie, Sting, Bono, and everyone in Duran Duran. They have never loved me back that Iím aware of.

I have a penchant for Disneyland. It goes against almost everything I believe in politically, ethically, and morally. However, take me to Disneyland and Iím mush in their hands.

I have wanted to be, at various times in my life: a doctor, a psychologist, a university professor, an opera singer, a rock singer, a mother, a wife. I am, however, a high school teacher and none of the other things. Notice how being a high school teacher didnít ever make the list.

Blessings fell on my head when I became a teacher. Funny how life makes you do what youíre supposed to do.

I wore hugely thick glasses for years until I was part of an FDA study and had an experimental laser treatment on my eyes at which time I developed 20/20 vision. This was a miracle in my life. Now Iím a bit near-sighted again and have the cutest glasses on the planet. I donít really need them all the time, but they are so adorable I hate to take them off.

I have never lived up to my full potential.

I will never tell anyone that they are not living up to their full potential.

I have yet to hook up the computer printer that I got this September. It sits and mocks me from its little perch.

Although I love to eat, Iím not much of a cook. My therapist was surprised to hear that about me. He thought Iíd be a good cook. Isnít that a funny thing to think about someone with no empirical evidence? That theyíd be a good cook? I thought it was funny too.

Iíve been in therapy for about four years straight now. I think itís working.

All of my furniture is hand-me-down from my mother and grandmother. So itís nice but itís never been me. There was a store in Boston I used to walk by that carried beautiful Arts and Crafts pieces. Thatís more me.

My three favorite museums are the Norton Simon in Pasadena, the Isabella Stewart Gardner in Boston, and the Rodin MusÈe in Paris.

In the Buffy episode, ëLie to Me,í there is a Renaissance painting on the wall in the ìvampires, yayî club of a young man in a black suit. I had that same print on my wall the whole time I was growing up.

When I am sad, these movies will always make me better: Strictly Ballroom, A Room with a View, Some Kind of Wonderful, Buckaroo Bonzai Across the Eighth Dimension, Roxanne, and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

The best record I know of to sing along with is Ella Fitzgerald singing the Cole Porter Songbook Vol. II.

My birthday is September 11th which has always been a good day and will be again.

So far in my life, I have been very lucky. Knock wood.

[> [> serves me right... -- Dead Soul, 20:34:28 02/18/03 Tue

for making my own meme too blue to gank from myself.

Wow! An alphabeta and incredibly efficient! No wonder I have all sorts of inappropriately tingly feelings about you.

[> [> [> Re: serves me right... -- Julia, 00:22:26 02/19/03 Wed

Alphabeta'd meself you know. If you count, you'll see only 80 or so not the 100 from before. But really who wants to read that many? And all tingly feelings are mutual.

[> [> Don't forget Repo Man! -- luna, 06:00:16 02/19/03 Wed

Share your love for Ella singing Cole and Buckaroo Banzai, but Repo Man is an art form all its own.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Scroll, 16:41:56 02/18/03 Tue

I enjoy cats more than dogs, but I don't want either for pets. I don't consider myself responsible enough to care for another life form.

My home is in Mississauga (next door to Toronto, Canada) but I've also spent half of the past five years in Kitchener-Waterloo. I am an English major (Rhetoric and Professional Writing) at the University of Waterloo. I'm also a co-op student, which means I alternate study and work terms every four months. I will graduate with enough money to pay off my student loans. This pleases me greatly. : )

I'm supposed to graduate this April, but only if I stop procrastinating and complete two papers I have left over from previous semesters. I am a huge procrastinator... which is why I'm writing this post instead of my essays.

In Mississauga, I live with my parents, my paternal grandmother, my younger sister (when she's not away at York University), and my younger brother (who is still in high school). In Waterloo, I live with three other students in an apartment building across the street from campus. But I still complain about the snowy/slushy/cold walk to school.

I can't drive. When I was 17, I got my G-1 (equivalent of a learner's permit) which is valid for five years. Those five years were up last year. People laugh at me when I tell them my licence expired. I strongly believe in carpooling.

Because I was born on the cusp of Aquarius (like Buffy), I haven't been able to figure out if I am a Goat or a Monkey according to the Chinese calendar. This bothers me; I don't like the ambiguity. 2003 is the Year of the Goat.

I hate exercise. Exercise hates me. My doctor thinks we should kiss and make up already.

I am Christian and Canadian and Chinese, a three-way dichotomy that has been a source of constant conflict, confusion, embarrassment, and annoyance all my life. (Yes, I know dichotomies are supposed to be only two ways; I call it a dichotomy because I often lump being Christian and Chinese together.)

Most of my Chinese friends are Christian, and most of my Christian friends are Chinese. I have many Chinese Christian friends. But outside of our religion and ethnicity, we have nothing in common. They don't understand my love of Buffy and Angel, they don't like Shakespeare or Sartre, they've never even heard of Wallace Stevens or Quintilian. I don't know the first thing about C++ or Java or adaptors or network cables. "Artsies" are not highly thought of in Waterloo, which is basically an engineering/computers university.

On the other hand, my religion and ethnicity play huge roles in defining my identity. I can't get away from them, and as I've matured, I realise I wouldn't want to. Despite the "culture gap", I know my church friends will be with me for life. They are family.

The "Canadian" aspect of the dichotomy is the secularism and multiculturalism of my school life. My school friends are very diverse in ethnicity, culture, religion, intelligence, and sexuality. We've learned to respect our differences. Unlike with my church friends, we've learned to establish meaningful dialogue because of our differences, not despite them. We're friends because we work at our relationships.

But I confess, I'm often a terrible friend. A very sporadic friend. I tend to be "asocial", as Darby terms it. Not anti-social, because I'll mingle and do small talk if necessary. But I have a tough time sustaining the chatter unless you're right there in front of me.

(I wasn't going to share this, but I guess I lump you all with my "school" friends.) I find it difficult to share my innermost thoughts with my Christian friends because of fear of judgement. I'm always afraid I'll shock them with my "depravity" -- such as my penchant for vampires and slash. The great thing about my school friends is that they're so liberal and "live-and-let-live" that the only judgement they'll make is that I'm being too judgemental. My mindset is too "grey" for my Chinese Christian friends and too "black and white" for my school friends.

Back to the lighter stuff... Whenever I tell people I'm in English, they ask me if I want to be a teacher. The Chinese mindset is very science-oriented. Only four professions are even considered worth pursuing: doctor, scientist, lawyer, engineer. Sometimes people will ask me if I want to be a lawyer.

My dream is to be an editor for children's novels. My (realistic) goal is to get a job when I graduate, hopefully as a technical writer.

I'm thinking of going for my master's but not for another two or three years.

I have a long list of "must read" books that includes "War and Peace", which a friend gave me for my sixteenth birthday. I still haven't read beyond the first page. I have a green sweatshirt from a used-books store that says "So Many Books, So Little Time." My professors always laugh whenever they see me wear it.

HonorH, I hope you don't mind me quoting you: "I am a full-blown Christian, a transformed follower of Jesus Christ. Does that frighten you?"

I hope to go to Europe this summer as a treat for surviving my undergrad. My dad wants to take our family to China. This is a problem because now I have to choose between what I want and what my dad wants.

I hate "American Idol". I hate the possibility that there might be a "Canadian Idol". I hate "Joe Millionaire". I am still deeply bitter at FOX.

My mom is very often the coolest person on the face of the planet. I think I take after my dad, which has its pros and cons. My sister is much prettier, more fashionable, more popular, more out-going, and has stronger friendships than me. This sometimes gives me an inferiority complex. I try to console myself with the knowledge that I'm smarter. At least, in my opinion : )

My parents spoil my sister and brother a lot more than they spoil me. Fortunately, I am seldom bitter -- just wistful. My brother is going through her angry teen phase. He grunts a lot. My sister is going through her "I'm in university, I know everything" phase. She'll get over it soon. My sister is the one who got me hooked onto Buffy. Now she just rolls her eyes at me and my obsession.

My first love is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My best love is Angel. My lost love is Firefly. When I was younger, I adored Sailor Moon and bought Sailor Moon trading cards. A friend once sewed me a Sailor Moon book bag and shipped it all the way from Japan.

I have recently (re-)discovered Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. I am in love with Dr. Julian Bashir. I think Julian and Garak should get married and adopt some Cardassian war orphans and live happily ever after. Major Kira reminds me of Zoe on Firefly, a confident, powerful, kick-ass woman whose loyalty is unquestioned, bravery is unparalleled, and love for her friends is subtle and strong. I want to be her when I grow up.

I watch too much television.

- Scroll, who thanks Darby for starting this thread and anyone who actually made it to the end of this ramble

[> My turn.... -- Rufus, 16:52:50 02/18/03 Tue

I'm Rufus aka First Virtue....making me shy, retiring, demure, kind.....okay enough bullshit....I'm Rufus a cranky old fart who will be 46 in July (when I say my age I round up). I think it I say it making me on the blunt side.

I don't know how to explain myself so you all will have to ask WiseWoman what she thinks....;)

I love Cats, Chocolate, and I'm the Biggest Trollop on the board.

Buffy is my favorite show, she is my favorite character, but as of late I've jumped on the ship bandwagon to support the Woofus ship....yes, the Wood/Rufus ship....I'll find a way to explain the new fellow in the house to my husband.

I may love the shows Buffy and Angel but for me the most fun is meeting you all on the board and in chat. I find everyone facinating and feel like coming here is like reading a good novel...the show may be one thing but the people here are what makes the whole experience worthwhile.

I thank the writers and actors for a job well done on the shows I love, and I thank you all for being yourselves bringing joy to my life. I hope in some small trollopy way I've contributed something but have to admit not being a writer type I'm out of my league here. Of course that isn't going to shut me up....:):):):):):):)

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Sara, 16:56:08 02/18/03 Tue

All about me, my, it seems like this should be easier. Well first off, I clearly have excellent taste in husbands. May I emphasize really, really excellent taste. I also have done very well in the son department, 12 year old, monster type, who is occasionaly referred to as Damien, of Omen fame.

I'm the computer person in a small museum, and have worked as a programmer for 20 years now. I tend to enjoy it, if you don't factor in the fact that I hate computers...a small inconvenince. At work I'm very detail oriented, at home, very not. I love assembler and COBOL, and hate Microsoft, mainly because I hate bullies.

Most of the time I think my poetry sucks, but I love that Darby likes it. I like to draw, but that I am really bad at. I'm not a visual thinker at all. The main reason I like modern art is because I can look at something and say "I can do that," which is not an easy statement when looking at DaVinci, or a painting by Wyeth.

I think that Pachabel's Canon in D is a truly perfect piece of music. I sometimes wonder what it was like to get up the next day after writing it. I also love James Taylor, Warren Zevon, and listening to Richard Kiley on "Man of LaMancha" gives me chills. I really like the fact that the Monster is now into show tunes.

Darby is the most interesting person I know, which makes for a fun life.

I'm an unashamed tv lover. I love to read, but tv is a much more communal activity. TV watching with Darby and the Monster is a real shared experience. I love the fact that Buffy has become a family obsession. On long car rides we often have very involved discussions about both shows. What fun!

For books, I really like literature from the 19th and 20th century. I'm trying to widen my horizons with philosphy, history and earlier works of literature but it doesn't come easy, whereas reading modern novels is like breathing to me. I just finished "Enemies, A Love Story" by Issac Bashevis Singer, which was wonderful. I don't get Shakespeare at all, but I'm willing to concede that it's probably me and not him. I love Tolstoy.

I'm totally transparent, and wish I could be more mysterious, but alas, it is beyond my capabilities. I'm very easy-going, except for when I'm not.

This is a great thread, I love getting to know more about everyone, and it sure started out awfully good!

- Sara, who went around with a warm glow the entire day.

[> [> Can I try again? -- Sara, who can't really be this boring!, 19:24:58 02/18/03 Tue

Ok - I didn't like my first shot at this, so I figure let's have more about me! Of course if I really am this boring, then I've just done boring times two, but on the other hand if I'm boring who cares how long I bore for, are two boring posts really qualitatively worse than one boring post, or wouldn't it be true that once you've crossed that boring border you're in the land of boredom and who cares if you're a mile inside or 20 miles? Hmmm, I believe a philosopical question here...

Well important stuff now - I'm vain and lazy, not a great combination for success, which means my roots often show, but I don't want them to. I'd like to lose 40 pounds without losing my access to Ben and Jerry's Vanilla Caramel Fudge Swirl. Actually I think I'm shallow, vain and lazy, but what's an adjective or two between friends?

I like to say that without bribery and threats I'd have no parenting skills whatsoever.

I've found that in my career I can maximize two of the three following attributes: money, flexibility and challenge. I've currently selected flexibility and challenge and think it's a good choice. I hate my career and I love my career. I may be a little conflicted...

I spent most of my twenties in my 12 year old head, made it to 15 in my thirties and I think at 43 I've reached the age to vote.

I blame tobacco executives and Red Lobster for my father's death. Probably not fair to Red Lobster, but ya' got to blame someone. I miss my dad.

I think people make choices all the time and don't even realize it. I think one of the things that lets me stay happy is that I try and recognize all the choices so I don't feel out of control. (Of course another thing that lets me stay happy is Darbs but hey I chose him!)

I'm incapable of disliking someone who makes me laugh, even if they are mean to me. This can be frustrating.

I'm very inclined to guilt to the point that sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode.

I'm inclined to feel that there is little in my life that can't be better with chocolate and chinese food.

- Sara, perhaps curing some insomnia out there

[> [> [> Re: Can I try again? -- Dead Soul, 20:47:13 02/18/03 Tue

- Sara, perhaps curing some insomnia out there

Nope, didn't work. I'm still not sleepy.

[> [> [> [> Nor me and I've got to get up in about four hours :-( -- yabyumpan, 20:49:57 02/18/03 Tue

[> Ooo, me too! Me too! -- Anneth, 17:10:33 02/18/03 Tue

Well isn't this more fun than listening to my professor?

I'm a 23-year old law student. I like mangos and cats. I have two fish, a goldfish named Julian (after my mom's most recent Loathsome Boyfriend; she named him, not I!) and a beta named Drusilla.

I was born in Los Angeles, spent my adolesence in the San Francisco bay area, went to college in Chicago, and am now back in CA, near Sacramento. I believe I attend Masq's alma matter. I think SF is the most beautiful, wonderful city in the US, London the most amazing place outside the US, and New Mexico the most spectacular place in the entire universe. Saturn excepted, maybe. *Maybe.*

Douglas Adams also liked New Mexico.

It's very sad that he's dead. Also Stephen Jay Gould. If I could have any job in the world, it would be to be a palentologist who gets to write essays about anything I want to.

Life goals include owning a house with a front yard, a back yard, a hummingbird feeder, and floor-to-ceiling bookcases.

I have a cat. His name is Pickles. I raised him from a teeny shy kitten into a huge shy cat.

My favorite authors include Galileo, Dorothy L. Sayers, Stephen Jay Gould, and Tony Hillerman.

When I was 12, I had a big crush on Don Karnage, from Tailspin. When I was 14, it was Gambit from the X-men. He had a neat coat.

My favorite season so far is S6; I related to all the angst and darkness and sadness and desperation perhaps a little too closely.

So far, my favorite Angel moment is when he envisions himself dancing, in S1, She. That was quality stuff.


[> [> There is a certain tranquil magic about New Mexico, isn't there? -- A8, 18:10:25 02/18/03 Tue

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Just George, 17:14:14 02/18/03 Tue

Who am I? Easy in one sense, hard in another.

I'm a 43 year old white man; a contractor working from home managing software development and marketing for a company in Pittsburgh. I live in sunny San Jose, California, where there is no snow and there hasn't been any in my memory. I've lived my entire life in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Grew up loving sports, cars, history, math, science, and reading. This lead to a love of model cars, slot cars, science fiction, military simulation games, role playing games, politics, world affairs, economics, and gadgets (to name just a few). I always loved football (both kinds) and played both in school. Lettered in soccer. I was second string, but worked hard. Played basketball in a company league. I've always had way too many hobbies.

The best party anyone ever threw for me was a surprise party for my 17th birthday. Everyone I knew was there. It was a big surprise because it was 3 days late!

I started working on computers when you could only enter data on teletype with CAPITAL LETTERS and could only save programs on rolls of paper tape. I like computers, but have little desire to program them.

I am almost relentlessly optimistic. I think today is the best time in history to live. I am sure tomorrow will be even better. I believe the march of human progress has been breathtaking: today there is more freedom, more personal empowerment, and less economic strife in the world than ever before. There are lots of problems in the world. People who are free and empowered will solve them.

Games dominated my life for 20 years. I wrote and designed lots of games. Whenever I wanted to understand something I'd make a model of the situation and then make a game out of it.

A couple of partners and I started a company to publish our games. I learned it was very important in business to make enough money to:

* pay the people who worked for me (employees and contractors)
* pay the companies that offered me credit to perform services (like printers)
* pay the companies that didn't offer much credit but whose services I couldn't live without (like the phone company and UPS).

It was less important to pay myself. After 5 years having lots of fun, but only paying myself on an irregular basis, I sold the company and finished my engineering degree.

I spent time making games for other people, including 15 years managing people making computer and video games. It was fun at first. The computers were small. You could only put so much content into a game so every byte had to make the game more fun to play. You could make a very good game with a programmer and a pair of artists. But computers and video game machines kept getting more powerful. By the end of my game career, it took over 50 people to make a great video game. The modern games were cool, but I'm not sure they were any more fun to play. I know they were less fun to make.

At 40, I had a mid-life crises. It was either buy a Corvette ("something long, red, shaped like a penis" to quote Spike in TR) or go back to school and get my MBA. I did the later. Loved school. Learned lots. And the Silicon Valley economy crashed while I was doing it. Came out of school with a newly minted MBA and few job openings. Note to self, the next time you go back to school do a lot of internships to make contacts and get varied experience.

Through a friend I got my current gig working from home managing software development and marketing for a company in Pittsburgh. Working from home makes for a short commute, but a lonely workplace. Luckily, I can occasionally take a break with the cool people on this board.

While in school I married a girl (who I first had a crush on 20 years before). Didn't do anything about it then (I was dumb) but am gloriously happy now. We watch Buffy together. She's much better at dissecting stories than I am. She doesn't post, but I often talk to her before I post. You-all get to read some of her thoughts mixed in with mine.

I have shelves full of books that reflect my interests: science fiction, fantasy, mystery, history, politics, business, philosophy, cars, planes, computers, and so on.

I organize my life into "heaps" on my desk. When I have too many heaps, or my heaps start falling over, then my life has gotten out of control. My heaps are falling over.

I think continuous wireless phone, web, and data access will change our lives more than we realize. Imagine that the next generation will never get lost, never be out of touch, never forget anything they don't want to forget. I don't know how it will change them, but the lives of the next generation will be different than ours.

Biotechnology will be to the first half of the 21st century what computers were to the last half of the 20th. "My Jones, your new kidney is back from the vat..."

I first caught BTVS in the theaters. Hated it. I caught the first episode on the WB. Loved it. I have only missed one episode in first run (Earshot). Thanks to FX, I now have them all on tape. I didn't like Angel at first, but got hooked in the last half of season 2. I now have S1&S2 on English DVD.

To me, BTVS is All About Buffy.

I also watch West Wing, Law & Order, Alias, Gilmore Girls, and Smallville every week. My guilty pleasures include Andromeda, Charmed, Kim Possible, and reruns of Daria. I love animation. Dexter is my hero. The animated Batman and Batman Beyond are better than any Batman film ever done.

I miss Sports Night, Firefly, Seaon 3 Bab 5, and Season 2 Farscape.

Someday I want to make a short film with a home video camera and home editing equipment.

I have written lots of non-fiction (games, instruction manuals, etc.) but only a few short stories. I love to tell stories, but hate the process of writing them down.

I am afraid of heights and my father was killed in a small plane when I was 13. Someday I want to jump out of an airplane with a parachute. Just to prove I can do it.

I love posting here and reading you-all's postings. Please keep it up.

Thanks for a great idea Darby!

-Just George

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Sang, 18:03:13 02/18/03 Tue

I am Korean guy, decendent of cursed family that for 500 years all the man in family were destine to die before 30. This curse was lifed when Modern era arrived in Korea and now I am 38.

I hate (really hate) travel, but my fate brought me out of my home. I lived in Florida for 3 years, lived in Japan for 2 years (I still can speak some Japanese). Finally I was in Indiana for 2 1/2 years. Recently back in my hometown, Seoul.

I am a physicist. High energy theory and cosmology is my specialties. I am a hired brain. I never had steady job after I got my ph.D. I worked for various professors to help their research (that's why I move so many times). In return, I got some comfort and small but enough money.

My main works were on simulations of a primodial cosmic string whose length is almost same as the size of universe. Dark matters which is so light that no one can see but heavier than all the galaxies in universe as a whole. 5th, 6th and 7th dimensions hidden in microscopic world. Some physics of warped 5th dimension which yet to discover.

I know, I sound like a crazy person, but I know crazy people. I had some among my friends. Human brain has its limit like any other part of body. Some of us doesn't have enduarance to handle our studies, or some of them abuse their brain too much. One day, it can just crack. Believe me, you don't want to see some guy next you just gone crazy and completely destroyed. In my short life, I already seen 4. Two of them happend right next to my desk.

I think I am born lonely. I cannot love, that's my curse. I never married. I had a girlfriend who was brazilian. Bright, beautiful, great dancer. She left me because I couldn't love her. Though I liked her very much, I didn't stop her. In some weird sense, that's why I was so into Buffy charactor.

Other than, Korean, English and Japanese, I speak tiny bit of Spanish. That's because I love dancing to latin music. I like dancing cuban salsa. Love lindy hop (though it is not latin). But my dance of life, my true love is Argentine tango. It is dance of dead. Dance of darkness. Some call it dance of vampires.

Years ago, one of my non-friend, my fellow physicist went crazy in front of my eye and took his own life away. That moment, part of me was killed too. Then I remember I was located Munich, Germany (I would not explain). There, I watched a couple dancing Argentine tango. 130 years old dancing made by lonely exiles.

I soon realized that the only time that I could be free from my loneliness was when I was dancing with some strangers. So I started dancing, danced like crazy person. I am some nerdy, geek physicist who studies something that no one understand, during the day. And I am suave, passionate latin dancer during the night.

I started watch BTVS in the middle of S5, usually I was out dancing during evening and never had chance to see it before. Then it grabed me my attension. Maybe it is because of the 'Body' or something else. I bought VCR and recorded BTVS and Angel. And I loved S6, some of you may understand why.

[> [> Very touching -- Rahael, 09:33:14 02/19/03 Wed

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Sarand, 19:34:29 02/18/03 Tue

Well, I'm constitutionally incapable of talking about myself so this will be incredibly short. Which is probably a good thing because I'm also not witty or funny, at least definitely not in print and only seldom so in person, and then only if you know me really, really well. I only had time to pick a few of the above posts at random to read and unless I'm just lucky at picking out the best ones, it appears that everyone here is really smart, funny and well-read, which is all very intimidating. So why am I posting to this thread anyway? Don't know but it could be because there's a new Buffy episode tonight so this thread will get archived before anybody reads my post. Kind of like that tree falling in the forest thing. But here goes anyway.

I'm a lawyer, doing criminal defense work for indigent defendants. I'm not particularly literary and not at all philosophical (although I am somewhat musical) so I don't get a lot of the literary references in BtVS but I guess that's why I come here. Lurking mostly lately because I just don't have much to add to the conversation. My non-work reading consists of myteries, histories and current events (you know, newspapers). But I am a huge movie fan and think I get most of the movie references in the show. The fact that Angel is a "Raiders of the Lost Ark" fan almost makes up for his being a Charlton Heston fan. Almost.

Oh, yeah, and I'm pregnant. Haven't told too many people yet because it's still pretty early and I'm pretty superstitious. But like I said, this is like that tree falling in the forest thing.

I hope this wasn't TMI for you, Darby. You started a very nice thread and I really hope to have a chance to read everybody's posts before the week is out.

[> [> Not like a tree at all -- Scroll, 21:33:16 02/18/03 Tue

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I was about to put the "congrats" up on the subject line but figured if you're superstitious, I'll just keep it under my hat (or at least within the body of the post). If it's not too nosy to ask, how far along are you? Chinese women tend not to announce their pregnancies until after 3 months, so it's not like your reticence isn't understandable. Again, congrats on becoming a mother!

[> [> [> Thanks! -- Sarand, 08:09:02 02/19/03 Wed

I'm about 11 1/2 weeks along so I only jumped the gun a little bit. Thanks for asking.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Dead Soul, 20:10:12 02/18/03 Tue

Hmm. Don't really know why I'm doing this, other than the fact that I've got to do something to kill the next four and a half hours until the new ep. And I'm the world's biggest spoilerphobe, so sitting here being solipsistic is safer than scrolling down the board very quickly peeking between my fingers on the off chance (very off, thank you masq, et. al.) that there might be a stray subject line spoiler for 7.15.

Mainly, though, I'm writing this to express my gratitude and appreciation for all the great friends I've made on the board. I don't post much. Usually I find that by the time I've read everything already posted, anything I might have had to say has already been said, and , usually, so well that I have nothing left to add.

I started lurking here last spring, having idly clicked on the link in Rob's thingie on amazon.com when I was ordering some sort of Buffy merchandise. My first post was a truly dreadful tongue-in-cheek spec about the end of the series with Normal Again as the jumping off point. Since then, I've pretty much limited myself to snark-and-run.

I do have one talent, though. I can instantly kill threads by posting to them. If there's ever a thread you feel has gone on quite long enough, just let me know. My rates are quite reasonable.

But beyond my snarky lurkiness (snurkiness?) and kiss of death, I have many reasons to be grateful that ya'll put up with me.

This past summer I summoned up the courage to work on the Fanged Four Fic. I'd never written fiction before, although I've always been a voracious reader of it. (Although, having been a grant writer and PR flack, perhaps writing fiction wasn't that much of a stretch.) I found I loved it. And made great friends doing it. This led to my own fanfic writing which, I know, is not something we talk about that much here and is certainly not everyone's cuppa, but I find it deeply satisfying and it has led to other wonderful relationships.

And while I may be only an occasional poster to the board, I do have a tendancy to run amok in chat from time to time, which is graciously tolerated by Little Bit, et. al.

Random stuff about me:

I'm a very un-Sagettarius Sagettarius, year of the Tiger in Chinese astrology. Beyond that I haven't got a clue.

Obnoxiously athiestic preacher's kid which probably explains why I get such a giggle out of anything remotely blasphemous.

Can be the life of the party in a work setting, yet am painfully, soul-suckingly shy in a purely social situation.

Somewhere, somehow, lost the ability to begin sentences with pronouns - especially "I."

I have one cat, named Xena, but it's not my fault. She came to me already named. She likes me more than I like her which makes me feel terribly guilty.

I require hours and hours of privacy each and every day and no longer beat myself up about it.

I fear a future where everyone wears sci-fi jumpsuits.

I've tried to come up with an evil alter ego name, but found it to be a exercise in redundancy.

There is actually a story behind my posting name beyond just the angst-chickness of it.

I'm a super-annuated Goth who can laugh at myself about it.

And, hey! Whaddayaknow! My pronouns came back! I'm cured!

Yet one more reason to be grateful to the board.

Dead (and dressed for the ambiguity, and having finally settled on a catchphrase) Soul

[> Wow, look what I missed. -- Arethusa, 20:23:09 02/18/03 Tue

Become deathly ill for a few days and you miss out on all the fun. (A cold became flu became kidney stones. Too boring.)

Well, I tend to tell too much about myself so this might be short.

I'm forty, married/living with a lawyer for nineteen years, and have three smart, cute kids, two of whom can't talk to varying degrees. Apraxia. It took me forever to believe it was true.

I'm private to the point of being secretive. I spent my childhood hiding how bad my family was, and old habits die hard. My father was killed in Vietnam-he flew reconn. He saved the lives of a group of Austrailians, who gave him their flag. My mother made a bad second marriage, and I like to say I grew up in a demon dimension. I became clinically depressed, so I read all the time to feel better. It didn't work, but I fell in love with books and writing. I tried to write stories, but didn't think much of them. I'm a very good editor, though.

I waitressed for eight years and got my English degree, then taught for a few years before I became pregnant. I've been home with the kids since then.
I tend to be very serious, but can be funny too. I'm much darker (inside) than anyone else I know, and it scares them. It makes it hard to make friends.

I love vintage clothes, Edwardian jewlery, old books-but can't affort any of them. My sister says I can smell a used book store while driving past it at 50 mph. I don't like pets-nasty, scratching, biting parasite carriers. (Please don't hate me!)
I love the woods in Oregon, the deserts in Arizona, California's beaches, North Carolina's mountains, big cities-New York, London, Edinburgh-I've seen all these places, and want to see more. Ironically, I live in a swamp.

Like Darby, I'm someimes amazed at how insightful I can be, and how dense I can be. I like logic and puzzles and mysteries where the bad guy is caught, but I like ambiguity and uncertainty too. Life is strange and surreal and sometimes unbearably painful, but it's all we have and I want to enjoy my life. That's something I've finally given myself permission to do.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Sophie, 21:03:14 02/18/03 Tue

Rod McKuen/Jacques Brel

Adieu, Emile, my trusted friend, we've known each other since we were nine or ten.
Together we climbed hills and trees, learned of love and A B Cs, skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.
Adieu, Emile, it's hard to die when all the birds are singing in the sky. Now that the Spring is in the air
Pretty girls are ev'rywhere. Think of me and I'll be there.

We had joy. We had sun. We had seasons in the sun, but the hills we would climb were just seasons out of time.

Adieu, Papa, please pray for me. I was the black sheep of the family.
You tried to teach me right from wrong. Too much wine and too much song, wonder how we got along.
Adieu, Papa, it's hard to die when all the birds are singing in the sky. Now that the Spring is in the air
Little children ev'rywhere. When you see them, I'll be there.


Adieu, Francoise, my trusted wife, without you I'd have had a lonely life.
You cheated lots of times but then, I forgave you in the end though your lover was my friend.
Adieu, Francoise, it's hard to die when all the birds are singing in the sky. Now that spring is in the air
With your lovers ev'rywhere; just be careful, I'll be there.

All our lives we had fun. We had seasons in the sun, but the hills we would climb were just season out of time.

Adieu, Emile. Adieu, Papa. Adieu, Francoise.

All our lives, we had fun. We had seasons in the sun, but the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time.
All our lives, we had fun. We had seasons in the sun, but the stars we could reach were just starfish on the beach.


This song makes me cry. This song makes me feel like I will retch. This song will describe my death. I don't know how. I don't know why nor when. I just know.

On a lighter note, I'm undergoing a mid-life crisis. I will be graduating with my Masters in Urban Planning in May and am struggling to decide what I want to do. What kind of job I want to do. And someday, what to do a Ph.D. on. This is a real struggle because I see two roads. I can walk down the research road that I love and hide behind a computer, or I can walk down a much tougher road, the one where I become a leader (my knees go weak as I type).

I whisper this. Since I returned to grad school a little more than a year and a half ago, I've have seen my child-self re-emerge, and another side of myself mature. When I was a teen-ager, I used to imagine that I ruled a country. This was a fantasy that I could not tell anyone because I felt embarrassed about it. Now, it is becoming clearer that the leadership qualities were right but the role was an urban planner, not a ruler. Prior to recent months, I never felt that I could be this role or person, but my recent maturity-spurt hints that it may be me someday. Now I read Roman History to understand how the emperors got power and held that power. Last week, I applied for a job at the Department of City Planning here in NYC that would put me on that road. I hope that I get it but at the same time I wonder if it is the right job for me.

My earliest memory came to me in a dream when I was a teen-ager. One morning I woke up and had dreamed/remembered when I was two years old and my family was moving from Iowa to Texas. It was January and the snow in Iowa was a foot deep. Mom put me in the back seat of the car, next to my sister, and strapped the seatbelt across my lap (didn't have car seats for babies back then). I was like a little dolly and my legs stuck out straight in front of me because my feet didn't reach to the edge of the seat. Mom told me that we were going on a long journey and not coming back.

For years I had dreams in which I was murdered and tortured. In these dreams, I could not kill nor defend myself from killers. Now I am not so sure and it scares me. Will all this force me to shed my existentialist skin? Strangely enough, I began to fear that I was turning evil about a month before 9/11. On 9/11, I saw real evil and knew that I was not that nor will I ever be that. So I decided that I had nothing to worry about within myself. Now, I suspect that there are shades of evil.

Buffy, this season, has touched on all these ideas: the killer in me, becoming powerful, leading, evil, and dying. Tonight, Spike putting on that duster. Spike telling Wood where he got that duster, "New York". Chilled me to the bone. It was Spike's confession. I live in New York. I ride those trains that Spike killed Wood's mother on. Years from now, what will I have that I got in New York?

[> [> oops - a spoiler for 7.15 slipped in the above post! -- Sophie, 21:37:21 02/18/03 Tue

[> [> Power and Helplessness (Oblique spoilers for Get it Done) -- Rahael, 05:18:41 02/19/03 Wed

This was a really nice post, and touched on some very interesting issues, Buffy wise and real life wise.

What is power? If we feel truly powerful, would we fear ourselves losing control? What does power mean to us anyway?

I've had some of those very same dreams, Sophie, around much the same time that I too feared that there was something wrong inside.

Does a fear of the powerful within us manifest itself in a fear of 'evil'? Do we simultaneously desire it, fear the desire, (because though we want to be powerful, we fear that we are too weak to be able to handle the power appropriately?) and label it as undesirable?

[> [> [> Re: Power and Helplessness (Oblique spoilers for Get it Done) -- Sophie, 06:39:41 02/19/03 Wed

Thanks, Rahael.

I suspect that a lot of people never sit down and think about what actions they are capable of doing.

A lot of what democracy in the US is about, is about power - who gets it, who gets how much of it, and making sure that nobody gets unlimited amounts of it. The contrast between the limited power of the President of the US is startling compared to the unlimited power of the Roman Emperors.

Despite their unlimited power, some Roman Emperors managed to control themselves - from within themselves. Augustus and Claudius are good examples. Why did they not murder, debauch, terrorize like Tiberius and Nero did?

There a number of concrete ways to get power - political relationships, the loyalty of a strong army, and/or money. This applies to our President as well as John Doe in his inner-city neighborhood who demands that the city collect the garbage weekly.

Does a fear of the powerful within us manifest itself in a fear of 'evil'?

Should it? Would Nero have stopped murdering men if he feared the killer in himself? This is an important question, which BTvS has brought up this season. Willow. Andrew. Spike. They each have different reactions to their capacity to do evil.

[> [> My Bio ñ Part II (the cheery part!) -- Sophie, 07:18:25 02/19/03 Wed

I am 33 years old and unlike Sol, I am not going around telling people that I'm a year older than I actually am.

I was born in Cedar Rapids, Iowa to parents who love to move. Thus, I have also lived in Austin, TX, Dallas, TX, Johnson City, TN, Knoxville, TN, and New York, NY. I currently live in Brooklyn, NY to be technical about it. :D I have travelled to 38 of the US states plus DC, Mexico, and four European countries (Italy, France, Germany, and Switzerland). I want someday to travel around the globe. I have one sister, two years older, who lives in Sherman, TX. My parents are still married and live in Tucson, Arizona. I journey out there once a year to visit them.

I got my bachelor's degree in Architecture ñ took me six years full-time. Now I am about to complete my masters in Urban Planning in just two years. Compared to a few of you, I guess that qualifies me for "instant student". I enjoy school, but I prefer having a job and cash flow.

People ask me, "Why urban planning?" Well, after I graduated from architecture school, I worked for an architecture firm for seven years. During that time, I got less interested in the buildings and more interested in the spaces between the buildings. People can adapt to any floor plan for most any use or make any kinds of uses, or make renovations, re-arrangements of building spaces, with enough money to pay for a good engineer. In contrast, the spaces between buildings ñ the outdoors ñ shape people's lives. They way they live, the path they walk, and so forth. People adapt to this, too, but they are less aware of doing so. The architecture firm that I worked for didn't care about the spaces between the buildings ñ just laid out the parking lot, poured the asphalt, painted the little white lines, and walked away. This, over the years, began to really bother me.

I currently work part-time while attending school full-time. I work as a research assistant gathering raw data about topics related to housing in NYC. Then beat the data into presentable tables, charts, and maps for others to use. I enjoy this tremendously.

I am single. I like being single and am seriously considering spinsterhood. I have had many boyfriends in the past and even had a fiance (didn't work out). When I decided to go to grad school, I also decided to take a two year sabbatical from the boyfriend thing. Turns out, I am enjoying my sabbatical and may extend it indefinately.

I hope to stay in NYC after I graduate. I love living here because I hate driving and I love trains and I love walking and NYC fulfills this for me. I also enjoy the variety of things in NYC ñ art, food, clothing, etc. And most of all, I enjoy people watching, which is a 24/day potential activity in NYC.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Tess, 21:41:13 02/18/03 Tue

Ahhh, this is a great idea. Gulp, until its time to do the 'about me stuff.' But here goes...

I still have 6 days until I'll reach my first year of being 39.

I have one son, who's 14. Somedays closer to 4. Other days...well on those other days he just turns into someone I've never seen before. He used to watch Buffy and Angel but gave them up because anything Mom likes can't be cool, but every now and then I'll catch him watching over my shoulder.

We have two dogs and a cat, and while I love all of these animals I really would like to have none of them. The dogs are too big and messy, and the cat only shows affection if she wants food. This extended family comes from my inability to say no to strays.

My insurance agent told me today that I had a perfect driving record and now was listed in the 'never can be canceled category' which is good considering my son is already driving me crazy wanting to drive. He just doesn't understand what 'not until your 30' means.

I am a martial arts instructor.

I used to write historical romance. Never published but won a few contests and was told I had the talent to make it, that is until gave it all up to open my own school. Now I don't think I could form a cohesive chapter much less a full novel.

I don't watch much TV. Buffy and Angel of course. And General Hospital for some reason. And hmmmm, lately garden and design shows....have a lot of work that needs to be done around my house. Anyone wanna lend a hand?

Oh and yeah, I have come to redefine the meaning of intelligence since I discovered this board.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Kellyne, 01:02:58 02/19/03 Wed

I am kind of new to this board, but I have been a regular on some other boards of similar subject manner for a while.

I am currently writing a book,(fantasy) about halfway done. I am unemployed and fed up with the corporate world... I just want people to be nice and not backstabbing SOBs

I have a degree in Philosophy and Woman's Studies...

I would like to find my way to grad school... could someone point out the path to the one that is right for me?

I live with my honey of 6 years and 2 cats

I recently got back from an extended trip to europe... and REALLY want to go back


[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Deb who will be known as Ylang Ylang from now on., 02:46:46 02/19/03 Wed

[> Just want to say... -- Tchaikovsky, 03:10:37 02/19/03 Wed

I'd like to reply to each post in this thread individually, but don't have time. I have made a point of reading every single one. Every single one has interested me. I indentify with many of them. The ones which I totally disagree with are as important to me. I love the honesty and the courageousness of everyone in posting. I needed this thread after the last few days, so thanks Darby. It's been a healing experience for my board self, at least.


[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Rob, 10:46:36 02/20/03 Thu

How about adding the final product as a special page in the "Meet the Posters" section of ES?


[> Re: Meet the Posters -- DickBD, 11:24:43 02/20/03 Thu

Well, I am primarily a lurker, not a poster, so I was shy about adding my bio to the list. Besides that, at 72, I felt that I was a lot older than the rest of you. Still, I have learned a lot from reading the posts--and not just about Buffy or Angel. I think I have been able to appreciate fiction books, which I don't often read much, because of various posts here. And movies, too. I guess that shows that an old dog can still learn new tricks!

My primary interest is biology, and I have had about thirty books published, some small, some large, on various animals, including snakes, fish, and dogs. I am retired now, of course, but I was for many years a biology teacher and later, an administrator. For that reason, I much prefer Robin Wood to Snyder. (But I have seen many principals that were not unlike Snyder--or is it Snider?)

I have done my share of recruiting unlikely people to the Buffy fold. Some of them have passed me up in their Buffy studies, having attained the DVDs and books. I plan to eventually get them myself. The first step is to get a DVD player. It seems almost frivolous to do so, as we have four VCRs for just my wife and myself. (She, unfortunately, is one that I have not yet converted.)

I was a late comer to Buffy (fourth season) and having FX broadcast the early episodes made them like gold to me. I am a recent convert to Angel, so I am eager to get the Angel DVD. One of the appeals of Buffyverse to me is that the characters are so real that situations can touch the heart enough to bring tears, as well as laughter. I still can't watch PASSIONS or BECOMING without being moved, with tears streaming down my cheeks. I also like opera and Shakespeare for some of the same reasons.

I am looking forward to seeing Angel from the beginning and getting to know Doyle, someone of whom I know nothing. But that was the way it was with Buffy, too, only a few years ago. And Xander. And Anya. And Willow. Even Giles (my stuffy alter ego). How did I ever live without them?

And you guys, with the funny names, have become dear to me, too. I am instructed by your comments, as I am by Masq's posts on philosophy. How did I ever get by without all of you?

[> [> There is no frivolity when the Subject is Buffy! -- Sara, saying shopping is good for the soul, 11:40:46 02/21/03 Fri

We bought our DVD player after we bought the Buffy first season DVD set. Go! Buy! Never look back!

[> [> [> LOL! misread that as "shopping for souls is good." -- WickedADD, 18:16:40 02/21/03 Fri

[> [> [> [> Hey, as long as you can get a bargain... -- Sara, wondering about choices in color and size, 05:45:28 02/23/03 Sun

[> [> [> [> [> Standard model is orb-sized and glows yellow; turn it inside out and it's jar-sized and misty white. -- Gyrus, 13:37:46 02/25/03 Tue

[> [> [> [> [> [> Then souls are strung up along my street every night! -- WickedBuffy (some stuck to my house, too), 19:50:22 02/25/03 Tue

[> I was planning on restarting this anyway - lets see how long it takes me today -- Dochawk, 12:28:03 02/20/03 Thu

Originally I was going to write a post defending Wood and his quest for justice and wondering why everyone (everypost on the subject I have seen so far) felt that he was an instument for evil, or at least his quest was. I decided that I would just be stirring up trouble again and decided people might be more interested in this.

The office wall I am staring at used to be covered by 13 official looking thingies (one of em actually claimed I earned an MD) - instead they were replaced by posters of Hank Greenberg/Steve Yzerman and my Once More With Feeling Poster. I have an autographed picture from Amber on my desk. Most patients ask me about Buffy. Few of them have ever watched. Several, including one who won an Emmy for Writing years ago, have agreed that its the best thing on television (the Emmy Winner, who still writes for a comedy on television actually thought it was equal to the Simpsons, he left out his own show).

Hank Greenberg, Steve Yzerman, Charles Woodson, and OmWF in fact represent the three most important things in my life outside of friends, family and work - my Jewish involvement, the Detroit Red Wings, the Michigan Wolverine and Buffy.

I used to have a big thing for pop culture - then pop culture became reality tv and hip hop, did I become too old or has pop culture dumbed down even more?

I can't sing, in spite of the fact that I love to

I once had a sock stuffed in my mouth while trying to sing the national anthem

The person who did that now writes a column in a major american newspaper - he mentioned it in an column

He also wrote a column about gunner bingo - those of us in the back of the class would make a bingo card of students who were likely to ask questions in class - when you got a bingo you stood up and shouted "Bingo"

Our lecture in medical school on the clotting cascade was given in Japanese, so were the slides. To this day I still don't understand the clotting cascade

I have run three marathons - not sure I could run a mile today

I have been to every state at least twice and every state capital

I was shouting distance from Antartica (well I could see it with binoculars), I've been to all the other continents but Australia (next on my list)

Yesterday was a fabulous day in my office, - one patient sent me flowers - and another who knows of my Buffy and Amber fascination (and who works at Sony) gave me Amber's new DVD - Taboo

I would love to see Joss write an episode of West Wing, I would love to see Aaron Sorkin write an episode of Buffy (I think they are two of the three most brilliant writers around today, I am sure Joss could do the WW, not sure that AS could do Buffy though). I would like to see Judd Apatow writing anywhere. Judd Apatow is one of the funniest people I have ever heard anywhere. I am going to a panel on writing next week just to hear Judd Apatow again. Drew Goddard is approaching the above three as a writing God in my mind.

Larry Wilmore - who writes the Bernie Mac show - comes close to those above, at least in person. I can't relate to the show though.

For those who are into these things, living in LA is really conducive to meeting these people.

Getting Amber Benson's autograph was the first time I had stood in line for an autograph since I was 12 years old. I must be regressing.

I am constantly amazed at the quality of the thought processes by so many people here, even if I disagree with them frequently.

I am even more amazed at the little flaming that goes on here. People are passionate without being mean, even those I just don't get.

Last week I heard the most brilliant lecture of my life - it was a Rabbi who was examining creation myths and the big bang theory and developing a new image of G*D in my mind. Like Joss I am an atheist.

I am in charge of the programming for a conference in Washington DC for 3000 young Jewish adults next March. It is already commanding alot of my time.

My best friend is a 1st Assitant Director, who has worked on Emmy award winning shows. he has gotten me into some real fun places. Another good friend used to be a director of publciity at Dreamworks. And I used to date a literary agent (writers and directors). Some of her clients are very big names, but noone who works at ME. One of her partners does represent some ME writers, but she has never offered to get me on the set. :(

OK, I think I have written far too much about my pop culture obsessions.

I grew up playing golf, haven't touched a club since I moved to LA.

I bought my condo in 1991. Since that time it has burned down, had minor earthquake damage, flooded and had an infestation of ants. I need to get through the rest of the ten plagues before I have children.

And I am in a constant state of remodeling. I am the only straight man I know who is really into design.

I was on the Board of Directors of the Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles for one year. I was also on the Board of Directors of the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation for a year. I have been on the board of directors of the Jewish Federation of Los Angeles for 7 years.

I have been on a date with a Playboy centerfold and with the woman who played Christine in the Los Angeles version of Phantom of the Opera.

Phantom of the Opera is my favorite play. Music of the Night is my favorite broadway song.

Moondance by Van Morrison and Happy Man by Chicago are the two best songs I have ever heard.

Harry Chapin was as close to a saint as we have seen in my generation. He truly lived a life worth emulating.

Regardless of my ability to sing, when Harry Chapin invited me onstage to sing Circle, I did.

I'm sure there is more I can say, but this is getting long and I have to go to a meeting.

[> [> Re: I was planning on restarting this anyway - lets see how long it takes me today -- Masq, 13:10:11 02/20/03 Thu

Originally I was going to write a post defending Wood and his quest for justice and wondering why everyone (everypost on the subject I have seen so far) felt that he was an instument for evil, or at least his quest was. I decided that I would just be stirring up trouble again and decided people might be more interested in this.

Thanks for your contribution! I don't know about any of the others, but I would LOVE to hear a defense of Wood! If certain spin-off rumors turn out to be true, I would like know he is firmly in the "good-guy" camp.

[> [> [> The First Virtue loves Wood, so how could he possibly be bad? -- Rufus, 19:05:56 02/20/03 Thu

[> [> [> [> Opposites attract? -- Masq, 21:04:19 02/20/03 Thu

[> [> [> [> [> Either you are saying I'm very good.....or Hey! -- Rufus, 15:52:43 02/21/03 Fri

[> [> [> [> Re: Well, for example... -- aliera, 05:14:08 02/21/03 Fri

...you wouldn't just possibly be a little blinded by his physical qualities now would you?

aliera, admitting that she might be projecting here.

[> [> [> [> [> You would have to be blind to miss Woods physical qualities...;) -- Rufus, 15:54:05 02/21/03 Fri

[> [> if its not a rude question, why is an atheist so involved in Judaism? -- Helen, 02:04:04 02/21/03 Fri

Not being at all facetious, just wondering....

[> [> [> Re: if its not a rude question, why is an atheist so involved in Judaism? -- Dochawk, 07:14:52 02/21/03 Fri

Nope, not rude at all. And these days I am feeling more of an agnostic than atheist. The simple answer is there is much in ancient wisdom that can be useful to guide your life without believing that the Torah is the written word of God or even divinely inspired. And I believe the core values of Judaism are inspiring. And some of the traditions are just beautiful (others are not). Finally, it honors the traditions of one's forefathers.

Thanks for reading that far along the stream of consciousness.

[> Name Change Warning -- Angela, 14:21:49 02/20/03 Thu

Hey guys ...sorry to be confusing (or maybe I'm just confused *gr) but I noticed today that Angelina is posting and since the names are so similar, and I don't want her to have to worry about having her posts mixed up with my scatty offerings, I'm going to pop back to my old nic of aliera. Just an ID FYI. ;-)

[> [> aliera! that's been you all this time? -- anom, 23:23:13 02/20/03 Thu

Wish I'd known! Nice to see you!

I'm hoping to add my own MtP post, if I have time to write it. I definitely support Rob's suggestion of adding this to the Meet the Posters section!

[> [> [> Re: aliera! that's been you all this time? -- Yes, only me ;-), 05:09:29 02/21/03 Fri

Aliera is my second favorite character from Brust's Vlad Taltos series...Sethra Lavode being the favorite. When I started online some time ago she was an avatar chosen not for her likeness to me but for my admiration of her differences. In the lovely synchronicity of the Board, right before Jay decided to post under his own name, I was thinking the same thing. I'd just been here long enough and enjoyed all of you enough that I didn't really feel the need for an avatar. In other cultures and certainly in the fiction I read this would be considered symbolic. You can absolutely interpret that way; that's how it was intended.

That's not to say that I now feel the need for a mask (think Tim Power's Expiration Date here.) It's just with the in and out of so many new people and the confusion from the weekend, when I saw that we now have an Angelina posting, I felt that the name was similar enough to perhaps cause confusion, so I thought I'd offer to change back to my old nickname to make it easier for her to post (remembering my confusion only initially of course between luna and lunasea.) I have other IDs for other places. I learned pretty early on from a bad experience at the Cross and Stake that if I was posting here I would need other names for other places, though to be perfectly fair to the posters there, some of that was my own fault for not being more tactful in my remarks here. I think we often forget that there's many many more people reading these threads than posting here. Also, I don't have a lot to say about myself for this thread...read my posts I would say and you get a pretty good sense of my poetry and pragmatism) but I do want to say a quick thank to you, shadowkat, rahael and redcat. It is because of the four of you that I was encouraged enough to continue on here; it can be a little intimidating at times and all of your responses were much appreciated.

Anyway that's my awfully wordy explanation! I do still have one wish to mention, I still hope to meet you and SK and the other NYC posters in person sometime. This year has just gotten so busy that I haven't travelled out of Albany much except for a quickie to Montreal. Anyway perhaps in the spring or summer, if you guys ever have another meet. ;-)

[> [> [> [> just look a little farther up the board! -- anom, 10:51:52 02/21/03 Fri

"I do still have one wish to mention, I still hope to meet you and SK and the other NYC posters in person sometime. This year has just gotten so busy that I haven't travelled out of Albany much except for a quickie to Montreal. Anyway perhaps in the spring or summer, if you guys ever have another meet. ;-)"

Check out Darby's thread, "Attention NY / Northeast Posters!" In fact, I think it's in response to your post here. How's April for you? BTW, Darby & Sara are in the Albany area too--you might not have to wait as long to meet them! And absolutely, let me & the other NYC'ers know if you're coming to town, or if you'll be going to the big meet in Vancouver!

I'm very glad to know that I had a part in keeping you with us. And that it worked! I'm afraid I don't get the Expiration Date reference, but I had no trouble telling your posts from Angelina's, although I never connected them w/your earlier posts as aliera. Now that I know you're the same person, I can kind of see it...but that may just be 20/20 hindsight operating.

[> [> [> [> [> Re: just look a little farther up the board! -- aliera, 12:20:31 02/21/03 Fri

Thanks anom...I emailed Darby. I didn't realize there was any difference to the posting really except of course I was doing more poetry posts last spring and summer. I suppose we all change over time and this year has brought quite a bit of change for me so perhaps that is it? It's hard to say and I'm not sure I can see my posts in the way others do...if that makes any sense. I also have really bad habit of not reading all of the thread and posting impulsively and so sometimes I'll go back later and re-read what I wrote and go "Huh"? LOL. Oh well.

Expiration Date was somewhat self referential. And also the book is a favorite (Last Call it's predecessor is even better I think) and just came to mind while typing so sort of a footnote. I'm running a little short on time since I'm at the office so I'll have to save the lengthy explanation for later.

[> [> [> [> [> [> I wish i could find Earthquake weather somewhere -- Etrangere, 14:45:30 02/21/03 Fri

I loved Last Call and Experition Date but Tim Powers doesn't seem to be translated anywhere anymore !

I wouldn't even know most english poets without Tim Powers !

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: I wish i could find Earthquake weather somewhere -- aliera, 16:45:20 02/21/03 Fri

I'm glad you like him...you're looking for a French translation? Earthquake Weather, I only find in German and English, sadly. Have you read "The Stress of her Regard"? Vampires, poets...there is a French translation...

From the Emerald City website review of Earthquake Weather (don't try this at home):

Ghost Fish Soup ý la Rennes - Take one copy of The White Goddess, a couple of Elvis records, some poker chips and a Raiders cap. Shred finely. Place in a large Grail cup with a chopped monkfish tail. Add two cups of red zinfandel, a can of Coors and a cup of royal blood. Stir thoroughly.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> If I may intrude, I love Powers a lot -- pr10n, 21:10:48 02/21/03 Fri

In fact, I discovered Tim Powers and Richard Powers simultaneously, because they were neighbors on my city library shelf. Score!

I hunted around and I confirm aliera's finding re: Earthquake Weather only translated into German.

I recommend "The Stress of Her Regard" -- in fact, this guy's catalog is great.

My personal favorite, "On Stranger Tides" has a French edition:

Sur Des Mers Plus Ignorees - Editions J'Ai Lu, Paris, 1988.

It's a great pirate swashbuckler, with voodoo loa, puppetry, intrigue and sword fighting and zombies. "Bring it on!"

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Apophis, 15:38:54 02/20/03 Thu

Name: Apophis
Date of Birth: Yesterday, minus 20 years
Place of Birth: Secret government facility outside Anderson, Indiana.
Occupation: Student/Wandering heretic (it's true; I'm a modalist)
- I'm an avid reader of comic books, but not BtVS comics; I don't like the art.
- I can go days without talking.
- I've gone through 5 roommates in 1 and 1/2 years of college.
- I was born upside down.
- I don't like Anne Rice and you can't make me.
- I would like to be a writer, but so far I haven't been able assemble a coherent idea out of all the stuff floating in my head.
- I like cats better than dogs, but that doesn't make me any less of a man.
- I can make a sound that no human being can duplicate (no one I've encountered, anyway).
- Like Joss Whedon, I suck at math.
- I have prophetic dreams, though I only recognize them as such after they've come to pass.
- I despise hearing about politics.
- I regret letting myself physically deteriorate since high school, yet I lack the motivation to do anything about it.
- I enjoy drawing, though I'm limited in skill.
- I spend most of my time on the internet either here, reading reviews of bad movies (an addiction I acquired after watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 for 9 years), or looking up stuff about mythology and urban legends.
- I don't have a job, nor am I qualified for anything. I will die poor and alone in the streets.
- So far, I am less than enthused about college life. I just don't fit in.
- I've only been in love once and have no intention of repeating the experience (not that I get a lot of opportuinities).
- As you can see, if I start talking long enough, I start to get depressing. Let's end on a high note.
- In high school, I won an essay contest that paid for all of my English class's field trips for the rest of the year.

So there. That's me. Some of me, at least. The rest won't be declassified for several decades, so make do with what you have.

[> [> Happy Belated Birthday! -- Scroll, 17:04:01 02/22/03 Sat

I was planning to wish you happy birthday on your actual birthday (since I remember you mentioning it was coming up) but my computer has been on a total fritz this past week. It's finally working again, so I am back on the board. I'm really enjoying everybody's MtP posts.

I can go days without talking.

I've done that a few times, but I end up feeling pretty lonely and then I start talking to the computer. Too bad it doesn't talk back.

I would like to be a writer, but so far I haven't been able assemble a coherent idea out of all the stuff floating in my head.

Totally with you there. I think I'll just have to settle for having a really vivid fantasy life since my stories never seem to get themselves written.

Again, happy birthday!

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- tomfool, 17:01:39 02/20/03 Thu

Random stuff:

Iím a 45 year-old guy living in San Francisco. The climate here is as close to perfect as Iíve found.

I moved 13 times before I was 10. Have lived in the same neighborhood now for 13 years. My longest stops were Pennsylvania, Texas, and now CA.

After mocking my good friend for watching BtVS, I gave it a chance in S6. It took until OMWF, but then I fell hard and have now seen them all. Angel is new for me this season and I havenít yet caught up. I donít relate to the characters as much as BtVS.

My favorite character by far is Buffy. I frequently ask myself, what would Buffy do?

Season 4 is my favorite, followed by 6. Twisted, I know. Actually, theyíre all kind of tied for best.

I like to run on the beach at sunset. Rock climbing in Joshua Tree is possibly the best thing Iíve ever done. But the most perfect single moment Iíve ever had was windsurfing in 30 mph wind under the Golden Gate Bridge with the perfect sail up.

I like to read, but never seem to have the time right now.

I finally knew I was an atheist in high school after listening to Aqualung.

Iím a graduate of Robís cheerleader camp for Buffy appreciation. There is no episode without at least some amazing moment.

Dogs and cats love me, but I prefer visiting other peopleís pets. I shirk from the responsibility of being responsible for another living being.

I have various degrees in science and city planning. After many years in the environmental profession, I had a moment of insanity and started a winery. Not a good financial move, but Iím happier. You know what they say about how to make a small fortune in the wine business Ö

The best part of my job is spending time in the vineyards. Grapes tend to grow best in beautiful places.

I tend to be a sideline kind of person. I primarily lurk and appreciate the crunchy goodness of the ideas being tossed around. Occasionally Iíll venture in with an observation then retreat back to the sidelines.

Iím sure Iím at least partially dyslexic, especially with directions ñ and spelling. Spell checker is the best invention ever.

I have a hard time completely trusting anyone who believes in astrology. (Ducking now.) I realize this is a personal problem.

Even though I was a technical writer for 10 years, my writing is . . . . . functional. Good writing blows my mind. The people here amaze me. I sometimes wish I had the ME writing staff to pen my daily conversations.

Microsoft makes me paranoid.

Claudia Black is more beautiful than anyone in the Buffyverse.

My intellectual strength is spacial reasoning. I like Buffy better than any TV show ever because it combines the most complex multi-dimensional universe ever created with gut-punch emotion.

The only other TV show I ever got completely into was The Wonder Years. It was like watching a replay of my childhood since I was the same age/year as Kevin Arnold. It was spooky.

Good food and wine is a necessity to me. (Bonus points if you know the reference.)

Iím quite social, but find it easy to spend lots of time alone.

Iím a sap. At least once a week, a post brings tears to my eyes.

[> [> San Francisco -- Veronica, 12:17:55 02/24/03 Mon

I'm a fellow SF-er. Maybe if there are enough of us, we could get together....


(PS: Right there with you on the astrology.)

[> [> [> Re: San Francisco -- tomfool, 09:43:14 02/25/03 Tue

I think there are lots of board folks in SF, including Masq. I know of at least one viewing group that gets together sporadically. Let me know your email and I can get you on the evite list. It's out in the Sunset.

I've found that discussions about astrology tend to be quite polarized. It's something that people feel passionately about one way or the other and debate rarely changes minds. I've pretty much given up talking about it for that reason.

[> [> [> [> Re: San Francisco -- luna, 16:18:45 02/25/03 Tue

I'm there off and on. My sons live there. Let us know if you plan an event.

[> [> The weather in San Francisco... perfect? -- Masq, 12:09:50 02/25/03 Tue

Well, I live here as well, and I get really tired of 55 degrees in the summer, 55 degrees in the winter, 55 degrees in the... all the time. Plus overcast all. year. round.

Would it kill the weather gods to give us, say, 75 degrees all year round? With partly sunny skies and a 20% chance of rain?

; )

[> [> [> Re: The weather in San Francisco... perfect? -- tomfool, 13:19:10 02/25/03 Tue

What can I say? I was born in Fargo and have polar bear genes. I don't know how I survived eight years in Texas - 95 degrees every day in the summer with 95% humidity. Give me a nice foggy day anytime! A little more variety would be ok, though. I do miss the thunderstorms in Austin, but more for the spectacular visuals than anything else.

[> [> [> [> Ah, thunderstorms! -- Masq, 13:42:20 02/25/03 Tue

...what I miss most (or at all) about the mid-West and Texas.

I grew up in the Los Angeles area myself, and so I'm a warm-weather girl. The thing I hated about L.A. weather is the lack of variation. That's why I added in the partly cloudy, rain one-day-out-of-five thing. Let it be warm all the time, but let it rain, too. And I like overcast. Too much sun raises my anxiety level.

Buffy: (being sarcastic) "Bright, sunny, beautiful. However shall we escape this torment?"
Giles: (being truthful) "Really!"

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Jacki, 18:24:53 02/20/03 Thu

I'm Jacki, and while I only post very occaisonally, I read a lot and I am a regular visitor to chat.

I'm 16, and I will be 17 on March 31!

I live in Massachusetts, and dislike it terribly. But as I can't even drive, moving is not exactly an option.

I don't really watch much television - Buffy is the only show I'll feel deprived if I have to miss. Other than that, a few random teenage-aimed sitcoms (yes, horrible, I know) and that adds up to considerably less television than the normal teenager.

I love languages - I take Spanish, French, and Mandarin Chinese at school and I'm lovin' all three. If they'd offer more, I'd take them. I plan to see the whole world, or as much of it as is humanly possible!

Theater is my main passion. I love to sing, act, dance, and be up on stage. I just love it. In a perfect world, I would be performing on Broadway! If they ever make BtVs a stage musical...you can rest assured I'd be at those auditions. Wouldn't get in - but I'd just have to audition!

I am nowhere near as philosophical as the people here. I bow down in awe at the wonderful things you come up with!

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Celebaelin, 18:56:31 02/20/03 Thu

As of whenever it was, which makes it own complications, but shouldn't...

Deep breath

Now that I've read all the posts in this thread to date (except the spoilt ones) I'll add some flesh to my bare bones.

I was born in Leamington Spa, Warwickshire in August 1964, I gained a free place to Warwick School (all male, Charter 1066 from Edward the Confessor) at age 11 and started Wargaming (Napoleonic at first) at age 14. Eventually I was Chairman of the Wargames Society, the only boy in the school other than the Head Boy to have his own (lockable) office. The Wargames Society was not listed on the School Prospectus, I felt hard done by.

Both of my sisters and I admit to having pre-cognative dreams (although most of mine are of no recognisable significance), no really, no really really, y'know dream dreams, like when you're asleep, oh never mind. I usually mention it if I think someone is trying to wierd me out. My parents refuse to comment on the above phenomenon but my father admits to feeling physical sympathetic pain - I believe him.

My Great Grandfather and his brother emigrated to America in 1878, we have his bible (in Welsh) dated at time of leaving and again at time of arrival in Republic, Michigan. Griffith came home again, we have a photograph of him looking for all the world like Kevin Costner in 'Dances With Wolves'. Dafydd went on to Utah, mined gold, married late to the (first?) schoolteacher and is buried in Grand Junction Colorado. I hope to visit some day.

I have no American relatives but I have some friends, husband and wife, both PhDs in metallurgy, who live in San Francisco. I hope to visit someday.

I did the whole sex and drugs and heavy metal thing during my undergraduate degree (BSc.(Hons) Biotechnology). That and my transfer from Dentistry to Biotech. is probably responsible for the breakup of my longest relationship to date. She was the daughter of a lecturer in thermodynamics at the same university and was studying Archaeology and Ancient History. I felt hard done by.

I know she and her family are fine but I could not bring myself go to her wedding even though I was invited. After we split up I really went to town on the sex and drugs and heavy metal. I enjoyed it as a poor substitute for the most loving relationship I have had to date but eventually realised that I didn't need that escape any more (except the heavy metal/heavy rock which is still a great way to relax). When I came to realise that I couldn't carry on with that way of life, I felt hard done by.

I renovated houses for about a decade during which time I attempted to convince an extremely beautiful dyslexic girl that a life with me would be great, she didn't/doesn't think it was right, we never kissed, but we still look out for each other. During this period I occasionally got into physical relationships with obliging females, they usually dumped me for being too boring. I hope to visit some day.

Having departed for UCL I found that I was, at least in my estimation, a very good Biochemical Engineer. London is a great place to work but no place to live if you're not 'native'. I thought a PhD was probably on the cards. I left for UEA.

I had a personal clash with my tutor (the toxic midget) which resulted in my getting an M.Phil. I felt hard done by.

I entered a near homocidal phase trying to communicate my displeasure with said piece of s**t at a distance (earlier at one stage during a 'technical disagreement' I had considered defenestrating him from a third floor window but decided that since he had only just been given his Chair [immediately prior to my arrival] this might be frowned upon by the University authorities). During this time my last remaining maiden Great Aunt died (at a great age) and that brought me to my senses, I returned to my true self and resumed my belief that all human life is a precious thing, even his. I resent the fact that the b*stard is going to get away with it, maybe God will punish him but I, for my own sake, must not. I felt hard done by.

Last night, after a few beers I was inventing some rather good (I thought) iambic pentameter to impress the assistant manageress. I think she felt a bit daunted, this is a shame and she implied that this might damage our relationship long-term, that and the fact that she's currently wearing an engagement ring given to her by someone else and pretending that this is not an obstacle. I feel hard done by.

Shakespeare (or Bill Wagglestaff as we know him in Warwickshire) is not too shabby all in all. I used to go to the RSC in Stratford(-Upon-Avon) as often as I could get tickets. I regret having missed Derek Jacobi's Prospero. I hope to visit someday.

I also like Chinese food, Kandinsky, Mondrian, Klimt, Magritte and Art Deco, and some other stuff!

I am trying to work my way through the Mabinogion currently but this faithful translation is rather heavy going. To think 1500 years ago someone just could have told me, with music hopefully! Oh well. I feel hard done by.

I don't read as much as I should.

I'm going to give up smoking (entirely, again) and drinking (mainly, again) at the beginning of March and start weight-training again (I gave up when I was writing my Thesis up). Well, I'm going to try anyway.

Every time I tell the guys in the pub. how a battle is going to pan out they promote me. I've told them not to make me a Major-General until I'm 55.

I love my subject area but don't hold out much hope of a job in that area except teaching, so I won't teach.

My body is covered in so many scars that I have described myself previously as a railway map of Northern Europe. I feel hard done by.

Every time someone raises the possibility of the board dissappearing I start to feel slightly Ill.

Emen si la lumen omentielvo (or something like that).

[> [> Grand Junction -- CW, 20:02:43 02/20/03 Thu

The town of Grand Junction itself is a fairly nondescript farming town. But it is set in a region of amazing and amazingly varied beauty. Within 200 kilometers of the town there are the highest peaks in the Rocky Mountains and some really nasty desert. There many national parks well worth visiting in the region, including Colorado National Monument, literally in the cliffs above Grand Junction itself.

[> [> Where are you now? -- Tchaikovsky, 02:21:30 02/21/03 Fri


What a small world! I am currently living in Leamington Spa. Are you still in Warwickshire, or have you moved?


[> [> [> Just the other side of Kenilworth -- Celebaelin, 04:13:02 02/21/03 Fri

[> [> Thre's a lot ot be said for defenestration -- luna, 08:39:45 02/21/03 Fri

particularly for evil traitorous academic mentor/torturers! I was fortunate myself, but saw MANY friends mistreated during the whole degree process, and after that, tenure. Academia is definitely situated on the Hellmouth!

[> [> [> There's a lot ot be said for good old fenestration too ("infenestration?) Then again, we are... -- Random, 08:47:25 02/22/03 Sat

...talking academics here. It's too good for them. Even in the Prague, they just tossed a couple of politicians. Plus it didn't even kill 'em. Mayhaps emasculation, at least for the male ones...though a couple I had could have used a nice healthy masculation. Eh, I'm just being bitchy (my obligatory semiannual heterosexual bitch moment.) I actually didn't mind the whole academia melodrama -- perhaps because I was capable of utterly ignoring it. If you really don't care (not just faking it) people will pretty much let you do whatever the hell you please and think whatever the hell you want because they figure you must have an ace up your sleeve -- unearthly genius, or an uncle on the board of governors, or maybe just a latent homicidal rage.

[> [> on the Welsh bit -- s'kat, 22:44:19 02/22/03 Sat

My Great Grandfather and his brother emigrated to America in 1878, we have his bible (in Welsh) dated at time of leaving and again at time of arrival in Republic, Michigan.

Interesting. My Great Great Grandfather emigrated from Wales to America sometime around there too. He had come from debtors prison to Pennsylvania. When I went to Wales in 1988, I attempted to find stuff on him...but the name
Lloyd is incredibly popular over there.

I am trying to work my way through the Mabinogion currently but this faithful translation is rather heavy going.

Which translation? I think I've looked at Lady Charlott's
and I think Llewellyn something's. All of them can be heavy going. I remember comparing the Mabinogi stories to tales I collected over there and analyzing them...got so far over my own head, it was ridiculous. Can't seem to remember much of it now. Good luck with it.

Oh - if you've gotten the chance the National Library of Wales in Aberwysth (sp?) is a wonderful place.

[> [> [> Welsh stuff -- Celebaelin, 20:18:34 02/23/03 Sun

What part of Wales? I wouldn't be surprised if somebody remembered, it's a small and close knit community.

Welsh genealogy gets complicated, if you go back to about 1750 then the fathers' forename becomes the sons' surname (we knew it happened right, but not THAT recently) and also, surprisingly, the fathers' surname becomes the sons' forename! So Edward Lewis was the father of Lewis Edward was the father of Edward Lewis etc., or was he?

The Mabinogion I'm reading was translated into English by Gwyn Jones and Thomas Jones* (1949) but a recent version, with a preface by John Updike (2000). It was a present this Christmas from my father, who is completely Welsh/Engilsh bi-lingual, after many hints on the matter, especially regarding the origins of the Arthur legend(s). There are a lot of 'thee's and 'thou's, which I very much suspect are a function of the 14th century written record, but that is the book as it is known.

We have family ties near Aberystwyth (Griffith's son eventually farmed on Lord Harlech's land) I've driven past it many times but strangely enough I've never visited the library there. However, one of my nephews is currently attending the University of Wales at Cardiff, so if there's a specific book (or part thereof) you're interested in which may not be (widely) available in English you might get to it that way.

Have you seen the spray when you get an exclusively English speaker to try and say Llanelli properly? You need an early grasp on the phonetics I guess (or a bib for the incogniscent). I know someone who's name is Lloyd who can't deal (but he can't really speak English either).

Thanks for the interest, and if I can be of any assistance just say.

* An oddity there are lots (and lots) of Welsh Joneses but no 'J' in the Welsh alphabet.

[> [> [> [> Re: Welsh stuff -- s'kat, 22:17:11 02/23/03 Sun

The odd thing about Welsh - was I could pronounce most of the place names and remember the pronounciations, (never learning a word of the language) but after 6 years of French, including a two-month stay with a family in Bretagne, I can't pronounce a word or speak it. Go figure.
I remember pronouncing Bet-us-coid to the people saying Betsy-coed. (Been awhile so can't remember the spelling).

Not sure what part. He was related to Prime Minister Lloyd George oddly enough, distant cousin. I think it was in the Gower peninsula.

While I was over in Wales in the late 80s, I met with Miranda Green at University of Cardiff and also met with
people at the Celtic Folklore Museum. Haven't studied the stuff in ages ...but still holds a fascination. In fact much of it, the archeology and some of the myths indirectly made it into a novel I recently finished. The novel is occult horror - sort of dark fantasy - and I take lots of liberties on the Celtic stuff - because it's mostly background and when I went into too much detail I bored the readers. LOL!

Ah yes - I have the version by Gwyn Jones. I think I have three different versions. I went to the National Library in 1988 and did research from the original editions of the work as well as off-shoots. I also collected tales from Welsh speakers in the Gwyn Valley near St. David's, Swansea and The Gower Peninsula, Bala, Bagnor, Aberwysth...all the way up the west coast, staying in B&B's ranging from small cottages to farm houses and a youth hostel. Learned a lot
during that trip. Even went swimming in the freezing cold water outside of Harlach Castle. Loved Wales - still believe it to be one of the most beautiful places on earth.

Unfortunately - even though we still keep the last name of Lloyd, we've lost all contact with that side of the family.
My great grandfather died two months before my Grandfather was born. And the family had a falling out. We were able to do some tracing back but not much farther than the debtors prison. Don't know much else.

Thanks for info.

And yes when I was over there - I noticed everyone seemed to be named Jones. Very odd.


[> [> [> [> [> Re: Welsh stuff -- Celebaelin, 09:36:19 02/24/03 Mon

Beautiful without having the spectacular grandeur, the sheer scale indeed, of North America (I went to Yosemite in 1980 and took an airboat ride in the everglades in '82).

There is an hill fort/subsequently Roman fort overlooking Trawsfynydd Lake (Trawsvuneth, the th is kind of as in those, maybe a dth gives a better impression) called Tomen-y-mur (Tomen-i-meer), from which point you can see five extinct Cambrian volcanoes (and a lot of 'cwm's, as witnessed by the Ordinance Survey of the area). The poetry in those hills seems to lie in wait for a shepherd to stumble across it and bring it to the world (in one of the recognised bardic structures of course, think Haiku-ish but a lot longer with consonantal resonances etc).

Lloyd (Llwyd) means grey I'm told, Roberts, my surname, was in fact German originally (Rod-bert ~8th century Pictish I guess, a cross-over from when celtic Christianity was taken to Northen Germany from Britain) and means fame-bright or illustrious - some day I hope to live up to it.

Isn't Harlech Castle perfect? Or at least it was before the coastline changed (although that allowed for some beachfront property). It's a bit small but it's square for goodness sake, like a childs toy fort, with vertical cliffs on three sides and a 35 degree angle up to the barbican on the fourth, no wonder it never fell by military endeavour.

Taking liberties is part of the oral tradition, horses for courses as it were, dark fantasy is well within the realms of fiction so tell those tales, the meaning, not the substance, is the thing IMO.

I'm very tempted to pour out more of the family and local history but I'm going to put the breaks on there before I get carried away and betray the secrets of the Druids!

Best wishes for your novel, and indeed all your writing, please let us know publication details as they occur, your fans await.


[> [> [> [> [> "finished"? -- anom, 09:51:12 02/24/03 Mon

"In fact much of it, the archeology and some of the myths indirectly made it into a novel I recently finished."

It's done? Did I miss an earlier mention of this (could easily have happened)? Mazel tov! I knew you were shopping it around to publishers, but that doesn't always imply "finished." Yes, please, let us know when your book--your book!--is available.

[> [> [> [> [> [> Re: "finished"? -- s'kat, 10:10:39 02/24/03 Mon

Yep - it's done and being shopped to publishers. I finished the final revision (that is final before some professional editor/publisher/agent decides to represent me and tells me to make changes) last March. It's out to two prospective
agents now, when I hear back from them, will shop out some more, unless of course they want to represent me.

The dang thing took forever, many revisions, but it is done.
I have vowed not to show it to another soul until I get an agent - because I don't want to fiddle with it any longer;-)
Will of course let you know if and when it moves to the next step.

Thanks for the support all.

Right now - I'm trying to get myself to work on the next
novel. Got sort of burned out finishing last one and into Btvs essays...which way-laid me.


[> [> [> It's spelt 'Incognizant' apparently! Must be American. -- Celebaelin, 20:22:55 02/23/03 Sun

[> [> [> Woah. Cool. -- Arethusa, 14:28:04 02/25/03 Tue

My great-great grandmother's family emigrated from Cardiff to Pennsylvania around then. They were coal miners there, but escaped to what was then Oregon, now Black Diamond, Washington. Where her family became coal miners again. I am happy to report my family no longer makes a living underground. If you think it's hard to identify Lloyds, try Davies. I've heard that if you're not a Jones, you're probably a Davies. However, my grandmother said that one of her ancestors went to Utah with Brigham Young, so they should all be in the Mormon database. Some day I'll have to find out if Grandma Davis was pulling my mom's leg.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Sophomorica, chewing on a red fuzzy slipper, 20:04:17 02/20/03 Thu

I am a slightly scaly six year old demon. Sophie got me addicted to watching Buffy during the summer re-runs of season 4, which was a tough time to be a new watcher because the WB station insisted on showing the episodes out of order. I should have known after Adam was killed that Evil didn't have a chance of winning on the show, though this season looks quite promising. Go FE!

I sleep under the couch. I like cats, though their bones are not really good for chewing on. I love riding the subway as well as playing in the abandoned train tunnels.

Being the brilliant demon that I am, I do consulting work as a statistician. I did a little work for D'Hoffryn a couple years back; he required some statistical analysis regarding the success and failure of his Vengeance Demons. Current projects include analyzing access to credit for the Hispanic population of Tucson and mitigating the anticipated impacts of a new Home Depot and Costco to be built in East Harlem for two of Sophie's classes at school. Yes, I do her homework for her. How do you think she has so much time to read this board and chat?

Sheeesh. Just downloaded a document from the US census people and it is 1,256 pages! A little brevity, guys? Huh? Well, it does contain what I needed. I guess I'll skip sending them nasty email, this time.

For fun, I am trying to learn French, which is going very slowly.


[> This is me... -- Marie, 01:24:48 02/21/03 Fri

Not very young.
Not very clever.
Not very beautiful.
Not at all philosophical.
Not very trusting.


[> [> I beg to differ on several of those... except the last two. ;-) -- Solitude1056, 10:59:20 02/25/03 Tue

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- MsGiles, 01:53:54 02/21/03 Fri

Changed ID a lot, but now I've been answered and called by name, an old magic, and my identity is settled I guess. Thanks rahael and others

thanks all posters met so far, pleased to meet you.

I don't join in much much - I'm a recent visitor and a series behind most of you guys, but I read archived stuff up to where i'm up to .. Sanguine's reviews are great, i read them after the episode. Watching enjoyment, always high, now way higher.

Age: God knows what it would be like to be a vampire, when I look back I feel like I'm 100 years old already. Actually less than half that (just). (gets dreamy look)

(wiggly flashback effect) Scene: England, early 70s. Hippies on the damp grass outside my school, wearing bedding and smudged kohl, smoking stuff that makes it seem ok to be doing this in a small uptight English town. Suddenly aware of Popular Culture. I'm small, longhaired, Quiet Type, which means i haven't learnt the art of human communication yet. I'm much the same now, except for the hair. Then, I like French expressionist cinema, Tolkien, Mervyn Peake, Corto Maltese and .. Star Trek. I'm much the same now, except I've gone off Star Trek a bit. I like doing art, but decide science is more sensible. This is the Wrong Choice, but time has worn down it's spiky wrongness.

>> 70s. I live with Wholefood Guy. Everything is recycled, brown and scratchy or grey and scratchy: the toilet paper, the soap, the jumpers. We have meals with enormous whole unpeeled boiled vegetables in them, and a lot of beans. We go folksinging and ride bicycles. I make pottery. No TV or films.

>> 80s. I've left WFG. I'm at art college, making film. Instead of being brown and scratchy, the world is black and white. Workers=good! Bourgeoisie=bad! Women=Good! Patriarchy(but not necessarly men, because some of them are quite cute)=Bad. Students=Good! Tutors=Bad! We do semiotics, and refuse our degrees as a protest against something or other, but they give us them anyway. Clubs go shiny. Bladerunner! Total Recall! Terminator! Alien! Sally Potter! William Gibson! and Magic Realism. Still no TV though, can't afford one.

>> 90s. The Age of the Suit. I haven't got one, although I dye many of my clothes the same shade of green so they match. I'm doing community projects and chasing Unattainable Community Project Guy. I have no other life. I believe that the aim of life is to be completely immersed in action.

>> I burn out. Fiery the angels fell (still like Bladerunner). Freefall a while. I get a TV, get into Hong Kong fantasy, Kurosawa, martial arts. The Mahabharata. Get thoughtful. Do a video course. Teach video. Stressful but ok for a bit. Chase a whole range of varieties of Unattainable Guy. Entertaining but futile. Manage to escape teaching, but don't find video job. Settle for graphics. Get current job. I do graphics, brochures and stuff, for a college. It's a good job and I get to make stuff, in a manner of speaking. Not much thinking involved though. Wonder about illustration. Draw a bit for a local fantasy mag, now closed. Meanwhile, The Matrix, Pi, Cronos, Anime, Vernor Vinge, Neal Stephenson, Jeff Noon (Go Manchester!). Buffy, Farscape. Briefly Xena. Oh yes, Neil Gaiman. Just read American Gods, thought it best thing in ages.

>> Aikido teacher dies, friend, guru, maybe quasi parent. Well, he was 79, still a shock. Mild burn out sensations. Go reclusive, worry about parents, neglect friends. Stop drinking. Start relationship with really nice man I've known ages. Five years now, it's still getting better. Might even share a house! That hasn't happened since 1976! Joy! Panic!

>> I do an art MA but don't leave job. Am I settling down? Is that life or death? Good grief, I could be in this job for another 17 years if I stay here. God, No! Please, No! ...

Buffy enters s6. I stop thinking ' I wish I'd had this programme when I was going through this' . It gets kind of close to home. It's caught me up. In both senses.

Meanwhile, discussions of s7 continue here and I'm outside, nose pressed against window, eyes shut (but peeping). Can I hold out or will it be boxsets at midnight and the dreaded cable mainlining .. Is it better to take it as it comes? Hope for nothing and avoid disappointment? Am I enough of a deferred gratification junkie?

I don't know, so had better press send now and shut up

[> [> Hey MsGiles -- Rahael, 09:56:38 02/22/03 Sat

You should post more. Your vignettes of the decades was both satirical and v. amusing!

As for the boxsets at midnight - DVDs have meant that I no longer feel justified in purchasing them.

[> [> [> Re: Hey MsGiles -- Msgiles still, 03:01:20 02/24/03 Mon

Thanks, I'm certainly going to try. I've been looking at the annotation threads and practicing, maybe eventually I'll be able to turn up some stuff. At least these relate safely to the past, (and would provide a good excuse for DVD purchase and some extra watching..)

I just bought a dvd player last week : ) I hadn't even finished cataloguing my videos, and now they're obsolete technology : (

If I stick with the BBC then I can postpone the end of Buffy by another year.. is there a living in the past theme here?

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- Caroline, 15:28:45 02/22/03 Sat

Now that's a lived life - Wow!

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Millan, 02:06:11 02/21/03 Fri

How nice to know more about everyone!

I mostly lurk here, but want to jump on the train anyway. (Being a narcissist is nice when you get the opportunity to talk about yourself.)

I was born in Sweden. I never want to live anywhere else, but I'd like to travel more.

I've been to Egypt and walked inside a pyramid. It was amazing.
I've been to Zimbabwe, saw lots of wonderful animals, the Victoria falls and plenty of exotic mountains, plains, etc. I got a chance to touch a snake in a small zoo. I like snakes. Don't want any but would like to have a friend that keep some.
I've been in Arizona. It was warm and nice, but I really don't understand why there's no sidewalks anywhere.
The most beautiful city I've seen is Rome.
The ugliest city I've seen is Pireus (which actually is a suburb to Athens).
I would like to go back to Italy. It's nicer than France anyway.
I love London, but it's much to expensive for the shopping that should be done there. I hope I'll see some of Scotland before I die.

When in comes to general topics I fool myself to think I understand English just as well as Swedish. When it comes to fantasy and (not too technical) s-f topics I understand English almost as well as I do Swedish.

I write fairly well English, but tend to get very frustrated when I don't feel it flowing as easy as the reading does, often going back to reconsider ways to express something to make it clearer or wittier, but more often than not only end up with a sentence that becomes windy and that goes on for just a tad too long.

The best thing I've ever done was to quit smoking.

A few years ago I was asked to show ID when buying alcohol for my 30th birthday (the legal age here to buy alcohol is 20), it was a nice birthday gift. :)

I am a shy Leo that loves to be the center of attention, but only with people I like.

I taught myself to read a year before starting school because my parents wouldn't read to me as much as I wanted.

The first time I read LotR I started in the middle. My mother had said not much happened until then. When I'd read the second half I turned back to the beginning and read to the middle. I was nine and I loved it.

My mother shook her head when I in my teens started listening to heavy metal and only read science fiction books and said that I was going through a phase. I wasn't.

Well, maybe I was. I have since expanded to reading both sf and fantasy and even a little horror.

She sometimes ask me why I became so weird. I grin and tell her it's her good influence and she shakes her head sadly. My mother is my best friend.

I get annoyed easily and can sulk for long periods of time.

I rarely hold grudges when it comes to small issues. I can hold life-long grudges if someone hurts me in a way I can't forgive.

I am mostly happy and good-natured.

I am a neat-freak, a perfectionist and a know-all. My SO is totally unorganized and scatter-brained when it comes to cleaning, shopping and doing other practical things. He is also a know-all.

He is the man of my dreams, the love of my life, and sometimes I hate living with him.

I have used a lot of my spare-time (evenings, vacations, week-ends) studying several courses at the University over the last years. None of them for any other reason than it sounded interesting and I wanted to learn more about the subject. They were: Egypt (the ancient faraos, the building structures, the art and religion), Basic biology (some basic botany, evolution and such things), Russian (which I never finished, either it's a horribly difficult language or I wasn't meant to learn it), Italian (which I loved, but sadly have neglected so a lot is already forgotten) and Ethology (animal behaviour).

I would like to learn more Italian, a little Japanese, more Ethology, more about Egypt and something about Astronomy.
I really should study math again, which I'm good at and loved before the age of 16, but have grown to hate and never even got an acceptable final grade in.

I have a rare metabolic disorder, which means that I cannot eat sugar, in other words no fruit, no veggies, no berries, no candy, no ice-cream...

I love meat.

I love whisky. Preferably Cardhu. No ice!

Roleplaying games have been my second hobby (books being the first) for more than 14 years. I discovered it at the same time I realized I am more relaxed in the company of boys than girls.

The roleplaying has been much too seldom the last two years since all the boys have grown up and become fathers, thus claiming to lack the time they could spend before. I don't like children. I might get one myself some day. I don't understand how those thing is compatible, but they are.

I have always been a cat person but am sadly allergic. Five years ago we got ferrets instead. I am now a ferret person. Ferrets is my first hobby now.

I have a bilingual website on ferrets that I'm very proud of but am ashamed of the fact that I haven't updated it lately.

During one year I was the chairman of the Swedish ferret association, but realized I don't really like people in associations, they only complain. I am still active in the association, but will never again be chairman nor cashier if I can help it.

I miss the 80's. Not the excess of pink and the crazy perms, but the heavy metal, the horror movies and the sunshine. (Yes, I'm absolutely sure there were more sunshine then.)

I am afraid of flying but get bored out of my mind with slower ways to trevel any long distance, so I endure it.

I have liked Buffy from the beginning and grew to love it over the years. Everyone I know is aware of that. I am trying to spread the obsession to those that seem willing to try.

That's all I can think of right now. (All? No, not really, but that's all I think anyone would endure reading about me.)

Be gentle with the misspellings and grammar errors. I'm a bloody foreigner, you know.


Amanda: Do people ever think youíre weird?
Buffy: I guess... sure. In a charming, endearing, lovable...yeah.
- Potential

[> [> Just a quick note -- Tchaikovsky, 02:28:27 02/21/03 Fri

To say that your writing is superb. I'm always blown away by people who can speak fluently in a second language- and I know writing is that much harder again.

And wow, you have a bilingual ferret website? Can you link to it? Please?


[> [> [> All you ever wanted to know about ferrets... -- Millan, 03:23:20 02/21/03 Fri

Thank you!


So good to know that my writing is better than I thought.
I know I tend to go blind when writing something so I can't even see any mistakes when I go over it to check.

My web-site is at:

My computer broke down some weeks ago, just when I was planning on updating a lot. I hope my SO will be able to recover something of the saved web from it, otherwise I'll have to find a way to recreate it on his 'puter and then make updates. This will probably take a while.

Anything you don't find on my site on the subject of ferrets and need to know? Just ask away, it's my favourite subject (well, ferrets and Buffy share that place actually).


"Welcome to the Hellmouth Petting Zoo."
- Buffy, Dead Man's party

[> [> [> [> The best ferret site ever! -- Tchaikovsky, 05:14:48 02/21/03 Fri

I have to admit that I am a ferret novice, but I learnt some interesting stuff from your site. I loved the little animations. Can you describe the wardance to me? Can they go up on their hind legs? All sounds rather exciting. It's interesting, to me at least, that they can breed fertile offspring with polecats. I didn't think that was usual, with mules being sterile and everything, but then I never was any good at biology.

Anyway, thanks for an interesting half-hour


[> [> [> [> [> Re: The best ferret site ever! -- Millan, 13:34:26 02/21/03 Fri

Glad you enjoyed my site!

Ferrets are very exciting.
Fun, friendly, curious, cute and, oh, did I mention fun? :)

The wardance is a strange mix of cat-like pounces, jumping up and down on the same spot, and throwing themselves at random directions, mouth open and sometimes almost seem to be 'head-banging'. It's hard to describe, but once you've seen it, you know what it is. Very fun to watch.

They do go up on their hindlegs when trying to observe something or when begging for treats and such. They are not the most graceful kind of animal so they tend to stand on two legs only for very short moments.

The ability to mate with polecats is because the two breeds are very closely related. A cross-breed would normally not make a good pet, mentality-wise, though I know of a few that has taken in some and managed.

If you ever get the chance to see ferrets in person (if there's a show nearby, a ferret gathering or if you hear of friends that have friends that keep ferrets), don't miss it. I'm sure you'll like meeting some, and much too few people know anything about them, much less have met any.


"Basically I help... Uhh... I'm a veterinarian."
- Angel, Lonely Hearts

[> [> [> [> [> [> Thanks -- Tchaikovsky, 09:12:14 02/23/03 Sun

[> Here goes... -- dream, 10:11:39 02/21/03 Fri

I live in Cambridge, MA, work as a non-prestigious research assistant/secretary at prestigious university, and am constantly in danger of becoming a cliche. I would say I'm deeply political, but that's not entirely true. I don't have a lot of interest in the details, the manuevers, the complications - it's just that terrible injustices and the triumph of greed hit me hard, almost physically. I had to stop reading newspapers in the morning, because I couldn't digest breakfast.

I don't watch tv other than Buffy, though in the past I've loved Homicide and Twin Peaks and the Prime Suspect series from the BBC. Otherwise I've avoided tv in my adulthood, because as a child, I was allowed to watch television for hours and hours every day, and I feel like I lost enough of my life.

I was brought up Catholic and was an intensely religious child. I desperately wanted to be martyred, because I believed this was the clearest sign of devotion to the faith. I didn't give up the Catholic thing entirely until my mid-twenties. Now, I resent that brainwashng, and tend to be a little too strong in my atheism. I hope to get over that someday. Just not yet.

I married and divorced a bi-polar man. It wasn't pretty.
I'm not interested in getting married again. I've never had any interest in children, even when I was one. I'm at a strange point in my life - in my early thirties, you see, and everyone around me is getting married and having babies, and they all assume I'm jealous. Actually, I'm amazed, like everyone had this overwhelming desire for a particular type of life, but no one ever needed to mention it, because everyone knew but me.

I have spent most of life in books (probably explains my cluelessness). Favorite authors include: Iris Murdoch, George Eliot, Robertson Davies, Andre Dubus, Steven Millhauser, Nabokov, Cheever, Dorothy Parker, William Maxwell, William Trevor. I studied poetry in college.

I have a long-term boyfriend. He's a poet. He was brought up in a small anthroposophical community in England, with absolutely no media in the home. Our backgrounds couldn't be more different, but we both ended up atheistic mystics of a sort, so I guess we make sense. His second-hand anthroposophy has definitely influenced my thinking, though. Lately, I have found myself falling in line with Jung better than anyone else.

I have a (Siamese) cat, which probably goes without saying. I love dogs, too, but don't have the space or time for one yet.

I used to be a pastry chef - went through the serious training and all. Then I was a mutual fund trader. Now I'm a secretary for a polling research group. I have no idea what to do with myself. I started drawing a few years ago and now I'm completely obsessed with art. I spend my weekends at the museum, take classes, go to open figure nights, plan my vacations around exhibits. I intend to take my first painting class this summer. This probably means I'm going to eventually want to do something with art, which will really compound the cliche problem. Favorite artists include Stuart Davis, Matisse, Joseph Cornell, Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Klee, Turner, and Sargent.

Once I get talking, I can't shut up.

I'm sentimental about animals, books, Art with a capital "A", democracy with a capital "D", and friendship, the ocean, small towns, old buildings and merry old England. I'm not sentimental about family or family values or my country. Affiliations that occur as accidents of birth don't mean much to me. I cry at The Body every time. Also, the film Truly, Madly, Deeply, and even the worst performance of Death of a Salesman. I nearly cried at Marie's post, above.

When I interviewed for my current job, one of my bosses was out for the week. When he came back, he asked all six people who had talked to me to tell him what they thought. Every single one of them said I was very "dramatic." I had no idea. I have a feeling being dramatic in job interviews is not ideal.

This has gone on way too long. I can't believe anyone has read this far. If so, thanks for your patience.

[> [> Turner and Sargeant -- Dochawk, 12:21:01 02/21/03 Fri

I also love Turner and Sargeant. There is a fabulous Sargeant show in LA right now "Sargeant in Italy". But I would say both are rather dramatic as artists (certainly Turner is in theme and Sargeant is in his use of color), so maybe not as far off as you thought? :)

[> [> [> Ooh, I just saw the book from that... -- dream, 13:46:06 02/21/03 Fri

It looks fantastic. Sadly, can't afford to go to LA at the moment, so will have to setlle for saving up for the catalogue. I'm very lucky to live in Boston - lots of Sargent here (and is it Sargent or Sargeant? Just double checked myself on Google to find it spelled both ways, sometimes on the same site!)

Anyway, I fear that my now-co-workers knew more about me in one interview than I've worked out in thirty-one years. Time to revise the self-image? I'm figuring I should go with it - buy piles of wide-brimmed hats, floor-length capes, cultivate a sort of Norma Desmond arm-sweep....

[> [> [> [> come to ny first! we've got... -- anom, 21:52:28 02/23/03 Sun

...the Matisse/Picasso exhibit at MoMA in Queens through May 19! (Not that much into it myself, but you might be, plus it'd be an excuse for another local meet!)

[> [> [> [> [> Actually, already planning on it! -- dream, 06:33:21 02/24/03 Mon

I'm headed to New York for an art extravaganza in mid-March. I'm planning to see Matisse/Picasso, Manet/Velasquez, Paul Klee: Voyager, and an exhibit of Leonardo drawings. Four days with no work, lots of art, as compared to my usual life, which is the other way 'round. Bliss.

[> [> [> [> [> [> cool! let us know when--maybe we can have a local get-together! -- anom, 09:58:11 02/24/03 Mon

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Resh (former poster, now mostly lurker), 13:03:09 02/21/03 Fri

I posted here quite a bit last year but stopped in late October when the combination of my own bad manners to a new poster and a hurtful exchange with a long-time poster I (still) admire immensely forced me to realize that my pseudonymous alter ego needed beheading. (My demon alter ego, however, remains in fine form and is busy keeping the records of that part of her spawn horde sheís not yet eaten. If she ever raises her head from that dusty inter-dimensional library with which sheís so obsessed, Iíll see if she can come out and play.) After much soul-searching, I concluded that if I ever posted here again, it would be under my real name, or at least the part of it my friends call me when theyíre aggravated or in love with me. Hopefully this will help me to remember to be more civil (although, unfortunately, not any less long-winded, it seems). To those of you who remember a small, reddish feline from a Pacific paradise who used to prowl these cyber halls, aloha e kakou. And thanks for all the lessons, especially the ones I didnít want to learn.

Life circumstances have kept me pretty much away from the board for most of the last few months, but since the Lunar New Year Iíve been able to get back to reading at least a few threads most days. And, WOW!! I continue to be amazed at the richness, insight, intellectual depth and emotional strength of this communityís members. Iíve finally convinced my best friend to watch Buffy and Angel with me (she even taped a few episodes for me while I was away last month). We get Buffy nearly a week later than most of you, which, for me, had made visiting the board an agonizing trip down the ìdonít read till laterî highway. She, however, immediately became a spoiler trollop and now demands that I read her the best of the spoilery threads immediately on Wednesday mornings. Encourage an obsession and you never know down what dark path it will lead you.

When I was a kid, I had a special place way up in the crook of a giant mulberry tree that grew in our backyard. Iíd found an old metal box someone had thrown away, painted on top with a harbor scene of Chinese junks and women with parasols. I kept it in one of the treeís many secret hiding places. All of my most special things were placed lovingly in that box. I'd take them out, one by one, and revel that no one else knew they were there. Iíd read books and write poems high up in the branches of that
sane old tree, and every day I imagined that I lived a life different from the one I really did. When I was 13, my father cut down the tree to build more greenhouses for his orchid breeding business. He didnít know that Iíd ever climbed the tree and punished me for crying at itís death. My Saturn is in Scorpio squared (to the minute!) by Mercury in Leo. Secrets ñ the telling and the not-telling of them ñ have long been my downfall, but I count my tears among my blessings.

When I was much younger than I am now, I managed veggie health food stores, cooked and baked for huge groups of people, ran restaurants and bakeries, catered fancy parties for rich folk, ran bake sales to raise bail money for anti-nuclear protestors, did yoga every day. Then for awhile I pushed paper for non-profits and community groups and still did yoga every day. In my mid-thirties I got bored and took a few courses in cultural theory at the local university. Something clicked and I just kept going, eventually moving from my island home to the frozen American mid-west for grad school (where I learned the true value of a warm coffeeshop to a confirmed tea drinker), and wound up teaching college for a dozen years. I stopped doing yoga every day. Now Iím back home in my beloved tropical islands again, still looking for decent full-time work in an unstable economy in a place with few academic opportunities. Last week, I applied for a job as a secretary. I was told my typing was too slow and my grammar too precise. Plus, they couldnít pronounce my name. I donít think Iíll change it.

Iím trying to do yoga again, every day.

When I was 39, I rode my motorcycle on a solo cross-country camping trip. Ten states, six weeks, just me, my gear and my Big Black Shadow 700. It rained almost continuously that summer. I got caught in two blizzards (the Cascades in late May and outside of Casper, Wyoming in mid-June), rode through 60 MPH winds in the Badlands, watched ice form on my gas tank as I rode slowly past buffalo in Yellowstone, crossed both the Mississippi and the Missouri Rivers at flood stage, got kicked out of four national and state parks due to bad weather, and found four glorious days of sunshine in the Black Hills of South Dakota,
where I set up my tent in a field of wild white sage. A sprig of it rests on my altar still.

I started smoking pot when I was 13 and cigarettes when I was 40. Iíd like to stop the tobacco, but paka will always be my friend. I wrote my doctoral dissertation, 485 pages, over a thousand footnotes and 30 pages of bibliography, in four months, primarily by consuming copious quantities of earl grey tea, dark chocolate and sprouts, and smoking pot nearly constantly. Every so often, Iíd also eat a red bell pepper, raw. Itís a miracle anyone finds the work rational enough to quote, but it recently has been, a lot, which is gratifying in itís own way.

On January 30th of this year, I reached my 25th anniversary as a complete vegetarian. I donít know if that means Iíve stopped thousands of animals from being killed, or only from being born.

I lived communally for almost thirty years, mostly in hippie veggie houses with anywhere from 11 to 18 people in them. For good bit of that time, I lived without electricity or running water except at work. Now I live alone (with the full amenities of civilization) and deeply treasure my solitude. Iíd never lived in a house with a TV until I bought my first one in 1999. I mostly watch it with the sound off, as the birds in my garden make much nicer music.

I have five planets in fire and no earth in my natal chart. Perhaps not so oddly, I take very good care of other peopleís money and things, but am perpetually poor myself. I recently inherited an entire house full of beautiful things - antique furniture, art, old
photographs, lace. Somehow these are managing to live gracefully with my own few possessions, an antique sword collection, floor to ceiling books, crystals and rocks and found bones and oddly-shaped pieces of driftwood. Slowly, some of the beautiful things are beginning to feel like they, too, belong to me, to love and treasure as much as to keep guardianship over until I can pass them along to my niece when she grows up. But I rarely look at any of them without remembering how they came to be mine.

In the last three years, my mother, my sister and my father have died, in that order. My mother left on a Valentineís Day and my father this past Christmas Day - as my brother says, they never were terribly convenient people. It is my sisterís death, however, which has changed my life forever. Someone wrote recently that it is not what a hero does when she has even the smallest ray of hope left, but what she does when all hope of victory is banished, that shows her real character. Taking care of my sister while she made that last passage, I saw true courage, experienced unconditional love, felt the absolute hopelessness of life wash over me at the reality of ugly, screaming, inexorable death. And in the face of that, discovered that the hardest thing really IS merely to live, to get up every morning and go on living, breathing, caring, loving, taking care of. I fail miserably at that a lot. But itís getting better, some, some days, a bit. Today is a pretty good day and Iím grateful for small favors.

I live above the city in a mountain rainforest. Itís pouring outside just now and the bamboo and ginger plants are happy. It smells good where I live.

I am very glad to be home.

And I am glad this board is still a part of my life. Mahalo nui loa -- thanks so very much -- to all the wonderful posters here, especially Rah, Angela/aliera, Sophist and Masq, each of whom in their own ways have made my journey richer, fuller, deeper, more sane.

Malama Pono,

[> [> Wonderful to see you here! -- Rahael, 14:36:06 02/21/03 Fri

Well, I'm just selfishly pleased.

Also the world's worst email correspondent, so am hoping you stop lurking and come back to posting!

[> [> [> Re: Wonderful to see you here! -- Etrangere, 14:43:14 02/21/03 Fri

"Also the world's worst email correspondent, so am hoping you stop lurking and come back to posting!"

Actually, i claim that i'm worst than you, Rah, and am glad to see Resh post for the same reason :)

[> [> welcome back. lovely post -- s'kat, 16:17:41 02/21/03 Fri

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- aliera, 17:18:32 02/21/03 Fri

Ohhh... Resh.

My eyes and heart are full.


I have looked upon those brilliant creatures,
And now my heart is sore.
Allís changed since I, hearing at twilight, 15
The first time on this shore,
The bell-beat of their wings above my head,
Trod with a lighter tread.

Unwearied still, lover by lover,
They paddle in the cold, 20
Companionable streams or climb the air;
Their hearts have not grown old;
Passion or conquest, wander where they will,
Attend upon them still.

But now they drift on the still water 25
Mysterious, beautiful;
Among what rushes will they build,
By what lakeís edge or pool
Delight menís eyes, when I awake some day
To find they have flown away? 30


This like a dream
Keeps other time,
And daytime is
The loss of this;
For time is inches
And the heart's changes
Where ghost has haunted,
Lost and wanted.

But this was never
A ghost's endeavour
Nor, finished this,
Was ghost at ease;
And till it pass
Love shall not near
The sweetness here
Nor sorrow take
His endless look.



The spotted hawk swoops by and accuses me . . . . he complains of my gab and my loitering.

I too am not a bit tamed . . . . I too am untranslatable,
I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the word.

The last scud of day holds back for me,
It flings my likeness after the rest and true as any on the shadowed wilds.
It coaxes me to the vapor and the dusk.

I depart as air . . . . I shake my white locks at the runaway sun,
I effuse my flesh in eddies and drift it in lacy jags.

I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love.
If you want me again look for me under your bootsoles.
You will hardly know who I am or what I mean,
But I shall be good health to you nevertheless,
And filter and fibre your blood.

Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,
Missing me one place search another,
I stop somewhere waiting for you.

I stop somewhere waiting for you.

Well come, Resh.

[> [> That was very nice. Thank you. -- Sophist, 19:00:38 02/21/03 Fri

[> [> [> Thanks for the welcome, everyone, much appreciated. -- Resh, 09:38:18 02/22/03 Sat

[> [> I've been wondering where you'd gone.. -- Caroline, 15:40:06 02/22/03 Sat

and I'm glad to know that you never really left. There's not much that I can say about the losses that you've experienced recently except how sorry I am and that I'm thinking of you. Your post touched me deeply and I'd really love to see more of you on the board.

[> [> redcat! glad to see you again! & my meet-me post -- anom, 00:55:11 02/24/03 Mon

I hope you will post more often. I always thought you were too hard on yourself in response to some of the problems that cropped up (incl. w/me!).

I've been reading the MtP posts w/fascination, & thinking of what I want to say in mine. Shoulda kept a list...oh well, here goes!

I've lived on the East Coast (of the US) my whole life, growing up in the DC suburbs & moving to NYC in my 20s to find a job in publishing. I'm an editor by trade & to some extent by nature (don't worry, I don't correct people's English unless I'm paid for it! or asked nicely). Spelling & math were my best subjects in grade school; in 3rd grade my teacher gave me a 6th-grade spelling test to see what I could do, & I only missed 1 word: "simultaneous." I love to read, & when I found out I could actually get paid for it & have an acceptable outlet for my perfectionism, I thought I'd found my ideal job. Over 20 years later, I still enjoy it, but my eyes get tired doing it all day & I don't do much of my own reading any more. I mostly edit medical & scientific stuff; my mom used to call me her "heff-a-docteh." My job moved out to the middle of nowhere 9 years ago, & I went freelance. I like it; perks include setting my own hours (I don't set my alarm clock on Mondays unless I'm working on site or have a tight deadline); wearing my favorite old clothes that are too worn out to, um, wear out; & the easy commute (to the 2nd bedroom). The downside is distractions (like the Web!) & having to market myself. I'm running out of business cards, but I want to get a website up before I order new ones, so I can put the URL on them.

Other interests include science fiction/fantasy (I go to 2-3 conventions a year & have good friends in the sf fan community), music (I sing & play recorders & crumhorn, & I'm trying to learn guitar; I perform in the Ft. Tryon Park Medieval Festival, which is walking distance from my apt.), languages/linguistics (I majored in Spanish & am trying to practice more to get my fluency back; I was sure by now I'd have learned several more languages, & not just the smatterings I've picked up), Judaism (more a way of life than an "interest"), astronomy, & of course BtVS & Angel & this board (which take up way too much of my time)! These interests intersect in interesting ways; for example, I've gotten into filksinging at sf conventions & have written some songs of my own, not all filks (incl. ones about the Y2K bug, a comet w/an ego, forgetfulness, & a peace song in Hebrew).

I'm an invertebrate punster (spinelessly unable to resist a pun) & have occasionally posted here as "Master of Pun Fu." I have that name on a button, w/a black belt drawn in. That's one of my dozens of buttons, most of which I get from my friend Nancy, who sells them at science fiction conventions & on her website. I quote them often in my posts & in chat. Some of my favorites are in the "logic/paradox" category (example: All syllogisms have 3 parts. Therefore this is not a syllogism).

I'm not as social in real life as I'd like to be. Working at home has contributed to this, but the main reason is that I'm such a slob I'm not comfortable inviting people over. My apt. is a mess & doesn't have much sitting space. I have a lot of trouble throwing anything out, especially anything I think I'd like to read (see above on not doing much unpaid reading anymore). This doesn't even include the books, which I wouldn't throw out anyway (I still have the copies of In the Days of the Dinosaurs & a bio of Houdini I bought from Junior Scholastic in 2nd grade!) Plus I hate to waste stuff, & I'd much rather find someone/somewhere to give it away than just throw it out. But that's not always easy, & meanwhile it just sits around. Another factor is that I'm just not very good at forming close relationships.

I have a temper, but I seldom let it out around other people. I used to think of self-defense in pretty violent terms, but on the advice of a friend in sf fandom, I chose aikido when I was looking for a martial art. It's based on "coordination of mind & body," something I'd never been much good at (I used to say I'd settle for coordination of either one!). It helped me learn to center myself, become (at least a little) more relaxed, & use ki (= chi, life energy). Twice it's helped me either defend against or prevent an attack, without anyone's having to get hurt. I had to stop practicing it years ago when I injured my back, but it's still an important part of my mindset.

I can identify w/Resh's inheritance blues. Within 5 years, I lost my father, my mother, & my aunt, & in between, my 2 cats (6 weeks apart). It's been very strange to have my parents' & my aunt's stuff in my apartment, sad but comforting at the same time; I still haven't figured out what to do w/some of it. The timing w/relation to "Buffy" has been eerie: The 1st episode I watched after my father died had the gravestone that said "Dad," & my mother died in between when it looked like Buffy's mom would survive & when she didn't. I'm definitely a cat person, but I don't know when I'll be ready to have a new cat(s) in my life. I have 2 brothers, 1 here in NYC & 1 in the DC area.

A high school English teacher ruined poetry for me for a while (she'd have us read a poem & then tell us what it meant). I did temporarily increase my near-nonexistent popularity by standing up to her in an argument about The Oxbow Incident. I rediscovered poetry in Spanish, as well as finding it a great way to increase my vocabulary! I also enjoy nonsense poetry, esp. Edward Lear & Lewis Carroll; I thought of naming my cats Foss & Cheshire but settled for Runcible & Quizzical, & I recently memorized The Hunting of the Snark for the 2nd time.

I joined the Editorial Freelancers Assn. when I went freelance, & somehow ended up on its board. Having been the board's unofficial health insurance liaison, I became the point person for finding info on replacement coverage when Cigna decided they wouldn't provide coverage through assns. in NY State any more. This mostly consisted of checking w/the EFA's 3rd-party administrators for new developments & letting members know the latest, & writing up an overview of the differences among the alternative plans to help people decide which one to switch to. This may have been the most useful thing I've done for the most people in my life. I'd rather it hadn't come up when I was swamped w/work, but that's how it goes sometimes.

I'd like to travel more. I've been to Israel 3 times, Spain twice (incl. summer studies for 2 months in college), Canada once (Montreal, w/my college band), & Bolivia once (for a solar eclipse). I'd love to go back to all these places, but budget & time constraints make it difficult. I have traveled more within the US; much of this has been for the World Science Fiction Convention in various years (lately, mostly the ones when it's been on the East Coast). On some of my more recent trips I've had the chance to meet fellow posters to this board, & I feel like Will Rogers: I never met a poster I didn't like. So far, anyway.

My favorite piece of music is CÈsar Franck's violin sonata. My favorite antidepressant is Benny Goodman's Carnegie Hall concert. My favorite poem is Antonio Machado's "FantasÌa de Una Noche de Abril" ("Fantasy of an April Night"), in which the narrator wanders the twisting back streets of an Andalusian city on a moonlit night, slightly under the influence ("Un vino risueÒo me dijo el camino"/"A smiling wine told me the way") & fantasizes that he's transported back to Moorish times.

I've been a vegetarian since 1989. I'm into health food & organic products--not just food, but organic cotton clothing (also recycled products), for both health & environmental reasons. I have strong tastes, both positive & negative. I don't bother "acquiring" tastes for things I don't like, which include coffee, cranberries--actually, all the red berries--& anything marinated in vinegar. Positive tastes include chocolate!, garlic, rutabagas (yep), & jalapeÒo jack cheese. Also Swiss cheese when it's melted & stretchy. I like shopping at thrift shops, both for economic reasons & because it's fun. Oh, & I hate smily faces (got sick of 'em in the '70s), so I invented my mutant cyclops smily, just to be different: @>).

I wasn't brought up very religiously, but I got more interested in Judaism in my teens & became observant to some extent. The death of my grandmother--my last grandparent--may have had something to do w/it, but I'm not sure. I started finding meaning in the blessings said over food & on other occasions (do other religions have a blessing for going to the bathroom?); began keeping kosher (that got a lot easier after I went veggie!) & observing Shabbes. (Strangely enough, when my parents had started going to temple "for the kids," I wasn't interested because "Time Tunnel" was on Friday nights!) I ended up somewhere in the Conservative part of the spectrum but w/elements of Reform & Orthodox (w/1 toe over the line on each side, I call myself "Conserva-something") & am an active participant in my congregation--something I never would have expected growing up--reading from the Torah on a regular basis (20th anniversary last year!) & finding I actually have something to contribute to our discussions of the weekly Torah portion. I'm now both the most religious member of my family & (probably) the furthest left politically. Somehow that fits together for me.

I'm 49 years old. I always insisted I wouldn't be one of those people who kept saying "middle age" is 5 years older than I am, so now I'm proudly middle-aged! To make it official, I got my 1st bifocals last year. My knees are giving me problems, joining my back, which has been doing so for years.

Speaking of health concerns, I've pursued several kinds of alternative health practices, incl. reiki, chiropractic, Alexander Technique, & t'ai chi. Something always seems to interfere (practitioner moves away/has family conflicts/loses day job; a few months into t'ai chi I sprained my ankle). My quitting aikido because of my back injury fits in here too. Not sure if there's any greater meaning to this, but it's given me a fairly rounded look at various approaches. I'm looking for the next one now, or maybe to go back to one of those.

Whew! I usually don't use that many parentheses, or go on so long. And to think I once had a reputation on this board for being succinct! I'd better stop now, even though I haven't mentioned the pet snakes I had, or my moped, the only motorized vehicle I've ever owned. Except now I have. And I'm up too late again. OK, now let's see if the thread's still there....

[> [> [> Re: redcat! glad to see you again! & my meet-me post -- MsGiles, 03:40:12 02/24/03 Mon

Hey, I tried to memorise the Snark, got up to Fit the Second. Pity, because the Boojum comes in with Fit the Third. Total respect if you did the lot.

(I've also kept snakes, did aikido for 10 years to cure me of throwing things at people (stopped now because of bad knees, but seems to have worked) and now do tai chi. No gifts with puns, music or languages though.)

[> [> so glad you posted! -- ponygirl, 09:27:30 02/24/03 Mon

I missed reading your posts, I hope you'll be writing more.

And thanks once more to Darby for starting this thread. I'm planning to print the whole thing out once it all gets archived. What an amazing collection of lives and experiences! Thanks everybody for sharing.

[> [> Wow, I almost passed this by... -- Masq, 12:02:12 02/24/03 Mon

Since I didn't know your real life name. But aliera (AKA Angela) piqued my curiosity.

You were missed!

[> [> I'm so glad you're back! -- Sara, 17:48:42 02/24/03 Mon

You were the first person that welcomed me into this never-ending, always mutating, insane and interesting discussion. I've really missed you, and wondered where you were! Don't go away again!

[> [> Resh, I've very glad you're back. -- Arethusa, 13:21:56 02/25/03 Tue

I've thought of you often. Welcome back.

[> Hey. I'm Deeva and at the moment I'm trying to shake off jet lag... -- Deeva, 13:23:27 02/21/03 Fri

and write this post, which right now sounds like not such a good idea. But what the heck. I've been gone a little over a week and I'm too overwhelmed at the moment to try and go back to the archives to read all the things that I've missed. Which I really should cause when I had dinner with Rahael she kept mentioning all these posts that sounded intriguing. I may just revisit yet. Anyway here I go talking about the one thing that I do know, me.

I'm a Chinese American. The oldest of 5 kids. Can speak Cantonese somewhat, just don't ask me to have philosophical conversations in Cantonese *shudder*. I know enough to know that the actress playing Chao Ahn doesn't speak Cantonese. I could understand what she was saying without reading the translation but it was with great difficulty. Honestly Don Cheadle in Ocean's Eleven handled his Cantonese lines far better than she did. But maybe they could afford a language coach.

I'm a very social person and try to engage everyone I meet in some meaningful way. I generally never forget a face. If I have met you once, I will always remember you, if not your name. I try to never judge anyone by a first impression but with that said my intuition is pretty strong and fairly right most of the time.

My lack of reaction/interest has sometimes been mistaken for indifference or meanness. A mentor once said that wonderfully cliched but works for me saying "If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all". There are people out there who probably think that I'm shy, quiet or just moody but in truth I don't like them so I don't say much to them. I figure that I'm already pretty passionate about enough things why do that with everything. Recipe for disaster.

I LOVE TO TALK. My citizenship marks in elementary school would've been great if I didn't talk so much. I still have 1 hour phone conversations with people I like.

I love animals! I'm a softie for them.

I have a vast resevoir of knowledge of extremely trivial things. Things that probably would never get me a better paying job. I just soak stuff up like that. My Jeopardy categories would be: Animals (all of them I kid you not), fashion designers of the last century, Pop Culture 101, Diego Velazques Spanish Court painter, general Art history and I really could go on and on.

One summer break in Middle school, I think I was 12 or 13, I amused myself by reading through an encyclopedia every few days. I just focused on things and people that interested me. It was not bad.

I am often afraid to post much of anything except quick little comments. The few times that I have posted observations or whatnot were generally met with a deafening lack of response. Which is something that I know should not bother me but it does.

I've been told that I'm unconventional in the doesn't-go-with-the-majority-vote sense. I can be pretty stubborn. If I'm told to do something socially expected by people enough times I simply won't do it or I will question the expectation to death.

I can make very quick decisions. So quick that it makes my boyfriend of 10 years extremely nervous. But 9 times out 10 they are the right decisions. I can be extremely passionate, to the point of dramatic and intimidating, about my opinions and thoughts. I never go into any argument, debate, meeting thinking that I can change anyone's mind. I just want that person to understand why I feel the way I do.

I love art. I love creating it. I went to school for it. But I hate the rejection of it. So now I do it on my terms, just for myself. My friends who have seen my stuff all keep trying to get me to show it around. One day I will just not now.

I have been with my boyfriend for about 10 years and it just doesn't feel like 10 years. With the exception of anniversaries I have difficulty remembering the passage of time.

I fully believe in Karma. You get what you give. And that it's not immediate. It could take years to achieve but it will happen. My parents are Buddhists. I'm not sure what I am. I don't believe in "one being".

I think I should stop now. I haven't gone back a reread any of this because I think I might just delete it than post it.

[> [> Just responding -- dream, 14:05:43 02/21/03 Fri

so that you know that your messages are read and appreciated.

And I like your comment about not talking to people just because you don't like them. I wish more people would follow that rule.

Have you seen the Velasquez/Manet exhibit? It started in Paris and will be up in New York soon. It's supposed to be amazing...

[> [> [> Well, now I have to go to New York! -- Deeva, 20:12:55 02/21/03 Fri

Do you know which museum it will show at? I'm seriously considering a trip just for that but if I see that it will travel to LA or my neck of the woods I'll stay put. In my opinion absolutely anything by Velasquez is amazing. Yeah, that Edouard Manet guy is not too shabby either. "Olympia" is one of my personal favorites.

[> [> Deeva! -- Cactus Watcher, 14:19:43 02/21/03 Fri

Have you heard yet? The potential slayer Giles brought from China speaks Cantonese!


[> [> [> Oops! I should read first and post later. -- CW, 14:22:48 02/21/03 Fri

[> [> Hope you had an uneventful journey home! -- Rahael, 14:38:33 02/21/03 Fri

[> [> [> Uneventful it was. -- Deeva, 16:39:58 02/21/03 Fri

And I was going to email you again to tell you that since your recommendation of the chocolate cake at Paul's, my sister and I purchased it 3 times! On the day that we were to go to Heathrow, we made a special stop out of our route to the airport to purchase some for the plane ride. The other passengers were wondering why we were so enthusiatic about eating this cake and where did we get it. It was so good!

Again have to say how much I enjoyed meeting you and hope to chat again with you soon!

[> [> [> [> Re: Uneventful it was. -- Rahael, 16:50:55 02/21/03 Fri

Oooo! Glad you liked it! That place will be the ruin of me. I have to keep walking past the window very quickly.

I really enjoyed having dinner with you and meeting up with someone who likes to talk as much as I do!

See, all you non-London posters? Come to London, my children, and you shall eat cake!

[> [> The Chinese Potential -- Scroll, 16:14:24 02/25/03 Tue

I know enough to know that the actress playing Chao Ahn doesn't speak Cantonese. I could understand what she was saying without reading the translation but it was with great difficulty.

Thank you! I thought I was going crazy not understanding her "Cantonese". The best I can figure it (or fanwank it) is that she's speaking Cantonese with a strong village dialect or something.

I'm also Chinese, but Canadian. Born here. Never been to China or HK. Have you ever been? Were you born over there or here? Anyway, nice to meet you : )

[> [> [> Re: The Chinese Potential -- deeva, 09:04:23 02/26/03 Wed

Nice to meet you Scroll!

And as for Chao Ahn's dialect/inflection, in my family there are two types of Cantonese spoken. Without really detailing it, it's like a Southern accent versus California Flat. When I was younger I spent a really large amount of time in the Chinatown in San Francisco. You can say I grew up in Chinatown, I just didn't live there. So for the most part I have heard most of the possible accents there are in Cantonese. Chao Ahn is not one of them. The actress just simply doesn't speak Cantonese. At best she may speak Mandarin passably or she could be a 1st or 2nd generation kid. So village/region accents is not something that I'm buyng into. Not that I'm saying they could've done a better casting job. Just maybe a language coach would do.

Born and raised in San Francisco. I've been to HK and China and they (my relatives & strangers) were highly amused by the Cantonese that I spoke. They called it charming and cute!

What part of Canada are you from/at? I'veonly been to Vancouver and Whistler.

[> [> was it supposed to be cantonese... -- anom, 22:40:48 02/25/03 Tue

...or did Giles just think that?

"Can speak Cantonese somewhat, just don't ask me to have philosophical conversations in Cantonese *shudder*. I know enough to know that the actress playing Chao Ahn doesn't speak Cantonese. I could understand what she was saying without reading the translation but it was with great difficulty."

I had a roommate from Shanghai who said she spoke "Shanghainese." So maybe it's a dialect (of Cantonese or something else, I don't know...but when I said "thank you" the way she taught me in a Chinese restaurant, I was told I was speaking Mandarin).

[> Masq, can we keep this alive a little longer? -- luna, 17:14:26 02/21/03 Fri

[> How did I get into this nutshell? -- Gyrus, 21:18:52 02/21/03 Fri

Here's some stuff about me:

I'm 34 and a psychologist (research, not therapy), but am looking to become a science writer/editor. I am happily married. Oh, and I'm a guy.

I'm the youngest of 4 siblings, but the other 3 are a lot older, which made it kind of like having 5 parents when I was growing up.

I have too many hobbies for my own good. These include gymnastics, tennis, gourmet cooking, martial arts, and writing Buffyfic, which can be found at http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=14635

I'm from New York, but for now I live in Texas.

I'm about as agnostic as they come. However, I do have faith in one thing -- that people will still be around in a million years. Virtually no one I've met shares this view.

I also believe that, in a hundred years, high school students will have to watch BTVS and write papers about it. They will complain about this.

I don't make friends easily, but when I do, they tend to last.

I like ostriches. They're completely goofy-looking, but they'll chase you down and rip you open if you bug them. They're like velociraptors disguised as shrubbery.

I may or may not be as funny as I think I am.

Favorite song: "Don't Fear the Reaper"
Favorite drink: Fuzzy navel
Favorite ice cream flavor: Chocolate chip cookie dough
Favorite person to complain about: My mother-in-law
Favorite TV show: :)

[> [> LOLOL -- Celebaelin, 07:55:26 02/22/03 Sat

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Tyreseus, 13:39:58 02/22/03 Sat

I've taken long enough getting around to this.

About me. Hmm.

Well, I'm 25 years old and panicing about turning 26. I had an ex-boyfriend years ago who believed that for gay men, if you aren't in a committed relationship by that age, you're destined to end up alone. Intellectually, I know that's pure demon piss, but it's fun the little psychological/emotional tortures we create for ourselves.

I'm absurdly hemophobic (fear of blood). I'm not talking just uneasy or squeamish, I'm talking about tunnel-vision, vomity, passing out kind of fear that has everything to do with chemical reactions inside my body I don't understand. The phobia is especially strong around hands and wrists. Once in college, a friend played a prank with ketchup and a butter knife (pretending to slash his wrists) just moments before I had to walk out on stage during a play I was in. I don't clearly remember how I got through the scene, but I came offstage and vomitted for 10 minutes. Then I punched the guy who'd pulled the prank in the face and broke his nose. Everyone agreed that he deserved it (even him after some time thinking about it at the ER).

For some twisted reason, I'm hopelessly addicted to vampire novels (Anne Rice, Laurell K. Hamilton) despite the fact that these stories inevitably have blood and I get all light-headed and queasy.

I graduated high school at nearly 300 pounds. I became a vegetarian, learned to not use my car for any trip less than a mile, and started going to the gym. Now, after 8 years, I'm about 20 pounds away from the body I want. I've lost 120 pounds. Too bad I also lost my hair.

I was born in Salt Lake City, Utah (delivered by the same family doctor who had delivered my mother) and was raised there until I was 14. Yes, I was (was) Mormon. I'm the oldest of 9 children. It's really cute, all our names start with the letter "J"

The major love of my life involved me making ethical choices I never thought I would make. Basically, I was the "other man" who broke up a long-term relationship. I'm still deeply in love with Lawrence, and he loves me, but we both needed to do some growing up away from each other. We came from different world and it was hard to make it work. I'd been raised in an all-white environment where drugs were only talked about (never seen or used) and in a loving family. He was black, addicted to speed, abused as a child and had major trust issues. I didn't understand that well enough at the time, only that I loved him, and things just got too intense and angry. He lives in Chicago now with his new boyfriend and when I last saw him two month ago, he'd been drug-free for about a year.

I just met the man of my dreams. Smart, loves Buffy, very cute, a dry sense of humor like mine, studying theatre (which was my major), and a twisted sense of adventure. The problem, he's dating my best friend. Ethical dilemma!

I intended to get a job working the technical side of theatre, film, or television. I also intended to be a playwright. Somewhere along the way, I got sidetracked into political activism (gay rights, racial inequality and environment). When I was offered a job as the editor of Las Vegas' largest gay newspaper, it appealed to the writer and activist in me. I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing.

Except that someday I'd like to live in New York and write for live theatre. I applied to New York University's playwright program for grad school. Twice. I was rejected both times. I've never applied for any other grad school program. If it's not NYU, I'm not interested. Possibly short-sighted on my part, but it's my dream.

I have a 14 year old puppy (that's human years) named Lil' G. (short for "Little Girl"). I know she won't be around forever, and she's getting awfully old, but I can't imagine losing her. Sometimes lately I'm struck with insomnia because I'm worried that if I go to sleep she might not be there when I wake up.

I left the Mormon church (LDS) when I was 17 years old. I went through an agnostic/atheist phase, Buddhism, Catholicism, and about 18 other religions before meeting a Wiccan priestess who changed my life. I've been a practicing witch for about 5 years now.

I came out of the closet during college. I was 19 at the time, which is also when I had my first alcoholic beverage. I had my first sexual encounter ever when I was 20. I started smoking at 21. I spent a summer in Alaska at 22. Moved back to Vegas (where I'd gone to high school) at 23.

I've never "been" with a woman, but I won't say that the possibility doesn't exist that I could. I was raped on Halloween night three years ago. Prior to that experience I could count my sexual partners on one hand. After that attack, is the period I refer to as "the year of the slut" where I slept around a lot. I was trying to be okay with sex again. In about 10 months time, I went from having 5 sexual partners to well over 200. It's only by the grace of the Goddess that I didn't contract any STDs.

Wow, this is sounding more like a confessional than a "get to know you."

Okay, on to the superficial stuff:
Height -- 5' 11.5"
Weight -- 170 lbs and dropping
Eyes -- brown
Hair -- mostly gone, but brown
Favorite color -- basic black
Least favorite color -- teal. Actually, I have this red-green color blindness that prevents me from seeing teal, so I have this whole theory that "teal" doesn't really exist and its some grand conspiracy to make me pick out bad clothing.
Hobbies -- writing, painting, photography, acting in community theater productions.
Middle name -- Heber (very Mormon, I want to get it legally changed, but my mother insists I wait until after grandpa dies because he picked it).
Turn-ons -- meeting someone at a bar who can actually discuss the last book they read for fun, that little V thing on guys' abs, a long neck.

Thanks y'all!

[> [> Addendum (warning, this post contains poop) -- Tyreseus, 16:13:37 02/22/03 Sat

Okay, I rushed through my first post because I had an appointment for a Colonic Hydro-therapy today. It was my first one. I'm researching for an article in my newspaper about unusual health care techniques in our little tourist destination. Now I'm feeling light-headed and a little weird, but I figured I'd better finish my thoughts while I can say without a doubt that for the first time in my life, I am not full of sh*t.

People always ask me what it's like being the oldest of nine kids. I'm always perplexed by this question.What's it like coming from a small family or being an only child? I don't have a good frame of reference.

I can tell you that coming from my family in particular has forced me to try harder, do more and be smarter at everything. My father wastes his considerable intellectual talent working for the Social Security Administration. He knows he's better than this, but the benefits (insurance, retirement plan, etc) are vital to a family of 11. I hope that when he retires he finally writes that sci-fi book he's been talking about since I was 5.

Everyone in my family is, in some way, brilliant. One sister is a psychologist who challenging Utah state law regarding abused children. Another sister is a master chef. Four of my siblings have created their own orchestral quartet (2 violins, viola, cello) and perform at weddings and special events.

My youngest brother is probably the most "normal" of us all. Which, of course, makes him quite abnormal at family gatherings.

My mother came from a family of 10 kids. Most of them had medium to large sized families. When my sister got married two years ago, there were over 120 people classified as "family of the bride."

Besides my puppy, I've had many other pets or family pets. Growing up there have been 6 dogs, 3 ferrets, 2 guinea pigs, over a dozen hamsters, a frog, a crab, hundreds of fish, a gerbil, an iguana (named Kat), 3 box turtles and (briefly) a pig. Notice that there are no actual cats. I come from a family of cat haters. Nasty, bitchy creatures, most of them. Despite all that, I wouldn't really call myself an "animal person."

In about two months I'm going to compete in the Nevada Gay Rodeo. My job is to lead a steer to a mark where a drag queen will jump on it's back. Luckily, I don't have to ride a horse, because I've never done so before. I've ridden an elephant, but not a horse.

My senior year in high school, I took 1 government class and 5 English classes (World Lit., Brit. Lit., Modern Lit., Creative Writing, and Journalism). In college, I discovered Theater. I love all aspects of live theatre. I act, direct, design, build, sew, write, critique, manager, and sing (badly). After college, I have done a few community theatre shows, but find I don't have the time very often.

I think everyone in my family is smart (honors students, scholarships... ya know, book smart) because we were all socially awkward as kids. I was a nerd. I was a fat, shy, awkward nerd. You really have no idea how much a different person I've become. I look forward to my 10 year reunion in 2005. I'm still a nerd at heart, but I don't let it show as much.

I graduated from college cum laude with a BA in Theatre and a minor in Dramatic Literature. For my honors project, I wrote, produced and directed a play called "Benedetta." It was based on the story of a nun from Italy in the 1700s who claimed to have miraculous visions and spoke to angels. During a trial, it was discovered that she had consummated her marriage to Christ using her female attendant as a vessel. She was imprisoned for the rest of her life. About 90 people saw the play. I was so nervous I nearly drove my car into oncoming traffic on the way to opening night.

Someday I want to retire to Bainbridge Island in the Puget Sound. Never seen a place more beautiful. Alaska came close, but I couldn't stand the winters. I always wondered why vampires don't gravitate to the extreme north where the sun only rises for a few hours during the winter. They could travel south for the summer. Maybe mountain man blood tastes too coarse.

I've never left the North American continent, but have about half the money saved for my first European vacation. So many places I want to go, so little money. But I love my job.

Life motto: "Of all sad words of tongue and pen the saddest are these - it might have been."Ý- John Greenleaf Whittier.

I regret few things more than missed opportunities.

In my sophmore year of high school I discovered T.S. Eliot. I dedicated two years to deciphering all the symbols of "The Wasteland." I started writing bad poetry full of obscure references. It wasn't until years later that I realized I had missed the obvious, appreciating the poem simply for the beauty of the language.

I've studied French and Spanish. I can't carry a conversation, but I can read both.

One of my uncles died from a heroine overdose when I was 5 or 6. I've tried X, speed, cocaine and marijuana once each. I didn't enjoy them.

In the time I've spent writing this, I've smoked 3 cigarettes. I know I need to quit, I just don't want to yet.

Thanks for reading!
Tyreseus (a.k.a. Jere in the real world)

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- MaeveRigan, 14:17:27 02/22/03 Sat

I should really be grading papers, but ANYTHING is better than that.

Like Scout Finch, I was reading whole books before I went to first grade, but my teacher, Mrs. Coffee, was a grandmotherly type who thought that was just great and let me read whatever I wanted to. I've never stopped. One of my mottoes: Never go anywhere without a book.

About the same time, my mother had a friend, a lady about the age of my grandmother, who had travelled everywhere and read everything. She had collected souvenirs from all over the world, most of them with literary connections, and liked to invite children over for tea. She would tell us stories, showing us an ivory whale--Moby Dick--or a painted china rooster--Chanticleer, etc. My two best friends, Anne and Emily, and I felt very grown up, drinking "cambric" tea and eating tiny sandwiches and cookies. I never read Moby Dick until I was in graduate school, but thanks to Mrs. Linder, at least I knew the general storyline!

I have more than one motto, because I don't like to be pinned down. Some of the others: "Don't panic" (Douglas Adams). "That passed, so can this" (Deor) "Sin is behovely, but all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well" (Julian of Norwich). More as needed.

I do not garden, sew or cook. People keep telling me how rewarding these things are. Believe me, I've tried all three of them, several times, and generally the rewards have consistently been a lot of cleanup. I'm sticking to reading. And writing.

Some people will think a lot of what I've already written is explained when I say that I'm a Leo Sun with Moon and almost every other planet in Cancer. I forget what my rising sign is--Sagittarius comes to mind. A friend cast my horoscope once; it was surprising revealing as a psychological profile. I don't believe in it as predictive.

I live in the Southeastern USA and love it. The Indigo Girls singing "There's something about the southland in the springtime" used to bring tears to my eyes when I lived in southern California and had no seasons to speak of. I hated that. This part of the country isn't perfect, of course, but it feels like home.

Which is saying a lot, for me, as I've lived in approximately ten different places and passed through several others in my 45+ years. "Home" is a problematic word for me. I still don't actually own one, for example.

I love animals, especially cats, though I don't own any at the moment. The last cat we had actually just let us take care of him--he came with the house, having refused to move on with his previous owners. When we started packing, he made himself scarce. Nobody was putting him in a box!

Other pets I've had in my various homes: several cats; a German shepherd; a mongoose; a parrot; two owls; some snakes (not mine, really--my cousin was collecting them); several monkeys; a bushbaby (galago); a duiker antelope (not a good pet).

Guess where I spent a good portion of my childhood.

Enough about my tortured youth! I'm married and have no children, which is okay with me. I'm a college professor, because I was too chicken to teach high school. After 6+ years of watching BtVS, that decision has been fully confirmed!

Other TV shows I watch: Angel, Firefly (before its untimely crash), Farscape, Miracles (checking it out), Law & Order (devoted to Sam Waterston), Everwood (just a ball of mush at heart), Boston Public (to remind me yet again why I don't teach high school--though it's completely unrealistic--isn't it?), Ed (almost as good as Northern Exposure), ER (just can't give it up), NYPD Blue (oops--that's my husband), The Guardian (Simon Baker--not everything has to be about quality plotting), and occasional re-runs of Bosom Buddies (for young Tom Hanks, and maybe for the slash subtext and ahead-of-its time gender-bending? Nope; just for Tom).

I love Buffy, but I've never been attracted to the whole vampire mythos. I don't like Anne Rice novels. I don't even like Dracula.

Instead of my own children, I have nieces (5) and nephews (4), plus a goddaughter and her 3 brothers, who keep me pretty busy, or at least broke buying them birthday presents. They're all amazingly intelligent and talented.
By the time they're old enough to be introduced to BtVS, it will probably seem as corny as the movie Buffy and Joyce watch at the end of "Innocence." Nevertheless...

I believe in God. In fact, I'm an Episcopalian. (I realize the two aren't necessarily equivalent, but in this case, yes.) I'm always interested in other POVs.

Up until a minute ago, I had totally forgotten the name of my grad school roommate, but just as I started to type that fascinating fact, it came back to me--Cynthia. Funny how the mind works, isn't it?

That's enough about me. Besides, it's time to go and pick up dinner!

[> [> Bad pets -- Rahael, 21:15:27 02/22/03 Sat

I once got given a goat. It was bad tempered, and tried to eat the clothes on the washing line. To my recollection, I never once dared to go near kicking distance.

We also once got given a turtle which generated much interest, excitement and exclamations. Then we went to have lunch, came back and found it had walked away.

We had a lot of chickens - I found them boring, my cousin found them scary. He would throw stones at them and then run away in terror. No one ever minded when one of them got the chop, in the interests of dinner.

We loved our beautiful, soulful-eyed cows. I can even remember watching the calf being born, one of the most fascinating and interesting experiences of my childhood. We sold them in the end because the army were requisitioning and killing cows for food, and if that was to be their fate, we didn't want to have it done in our sight.

And I can't talk about my beloved Misha, my dog without sounding dreadfully sentimental, so I shan't!

[> [> [> Re: Bad pets -- MaeveRigan, 02:41:03 02/23/03 Sun

We had a turtle too--I forgot. It was interesting, but kept hiding under things, in addition to the typical "into its shell" maneuver.

A niece and nephew currently have a goat. I haven't told them that goat-stew was frequently on the menu at my boarding school. It's hard for me to find goats fascinating, despite having read Heidi.

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- Briar Rose, 02:36:40 02/23/03 Sun

Wow, these are all such moving and deeply profound posts!

I'm not sure mine will be, but I feel so at home here that what started out as "lurking only" for me turned into lots of posts that I hadn't planned on making until I'd get caught up in the moment and find myself hitting send. Good thing there's an Approve - or you'd all have more posts to deal with from me on off topic logical and illogical subjects.*L

I guess the best way to discribe myself is: I'm perfectly comfortable with a lot of weirdness in my life. I have had many experiences with ghosts, a couple of experiences with Entities (much different) and attract interesting and intriguing people into my life. I am slightly telekenetic, psychic and a sucker for a lost cause.*S*

This all started when I was rather young and took an interest in Greek and Norse mythology at the age of 5 or 6. For some reason this dove tailed with the fact that my Uncle by marriage came into the family and started his abuse of various female children in the extended family. Thus creating a "gateway" of some sort that I learned to access.

Now I guess a lot of this was inate, since my Maternal Grandmother is a Family Tradition witch and so was her Grandmother. (Her mother died when my Grandmother was around 7 - so she didn't really know her or learn from her.) My father loved to call himself an atheist because it pissed people off. But he was a spiritual guy. He introduced me to the book Chariots of the Gods, the mythology books, sci-fi cartoons and various "occult" things which became a HUGE part of my life.

Naturally - as I got older I found music. Another of the gifts my Father gave me. He was a trumpet player in a Swing Band for many years - almost up until he died when I was 25. I was so used to hanging out with musicians that I gravitated to them everywhere I found them. I hung out with some of the more well known bands in the LA club scene. Most of them were crunchy but not exactly metal: Sin/JagWire, London, Max Havoc. I did promotions for Sin/JW. Then later for StoryTeller. I truly believe that Ronnie James Dio is beloved of the Goddess. One of my top three male singers. But so is Steve Perry.*S*

I worked for LAUSD for about 12 years as a clerk...... About the time I finally tired of living my night life quite so wildly (at least stopped shunning sleep so much) I started working promotions for an ABC owned radio station. The FM side and then the AM side too. Community Relations was the actual gig, but promo is always part of that. More wacky and wild times... I met the only man I will ever love because of seeing a friend's show at Molly Malone's and at the urging of a good friend from the station, so I must say I got the best of my lifestyle. Thus began meeting a LOT of people around the movie and TV industry in which he works. Funny thing is that he wasn't the one introducing me to them even though that's his gig. They just popped up in my life out of no-where.*L

Unfortunatly as many survivors of rape/abuse have happen - there comes a point where you can't just repress memeories any more. All it takes is one situation where the feeling of not being safe comes in and it's pretty easy to have a melt down even if you thik you've already been there and done that and are healed almost as much as possible. Old deamons came into my head and emotions and tore me up and I did the dumbest thing of my 40 odd years here on earth (so far) and sent him away because I didn't love ME and didn't see how he could. Kinda hard to love yourself when you've been tossed out of 5 jobs in 4 years and have to move back home to an emotionally and mentally abusive Mother when you're 35. especially when you decide that you need an entirely different line of work. (Trust me ladies, do NOT make any major life decisions when you are around 35! It's a phase of pari-menopause and you'll regret it! I have an open email for friends who need talked down in that time frame now.)

But since my life has always been "Step in it and still come out smelling like a rose..." I figure that once TPTB figure out I've learned my lesson, I wil be able to fix it.*S* I base my normal luck on living my life right or something.;)

My life motto is stolen from Cher: "This ain't no dress rehearsal!" Of course as someone lovely said above - I also have a lot of life mottos for different situations. Another good one is from David Lee Roth: "So? What's the problem?There's gotta be another light bulb around here somewhere." (You have to know the context to get it)

I am sort of a compassionate Survivalist. I am Pagan at heart. Cats are my favorite fur people, but I love most animals. I seriously would like to have a flying squirrel as a house mate. How wonderful! A furry flying ball to play toss with!

I love Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, all things vampire and occult related. The movie Practical Magic is one of my faves. I feel I have a calling in this life... well actually two but I only have one figured out.... I am here to spread the word that the Cold War between men and women needs to stop! There is no "better sex" we are just differently abled. And each of us has a dual nature inside of us anyway, so what's to fight about?

Buffy is practically my life! I have become so involved with the story and the characters that I am seriously weirding out friends with constantly re-hashing shows and lines and topics. I also sometimes ask myself what Buffy would do in certain situations.*S* I loved season 6 best of all. I am also loving season 7 and hating that it might be all over soon. And i pray this board doesn't go anywhere! I would be lost without people like you all to read and excite my mind. Since I changed my profession from radio/promotions to computer web design and VB. I am surrounded with engineer types and not the artsy types I've known all my life. Unless it's Star Trek, they don't get it at all. And forget metaphysical stuff all together. Most believe in science and only hard science. So this is my haven of all that is esoteric and I would be crushed to lose it!

Well, that's enough rambling about me. Good night all and I'm enjoying these posts so much. I feel like it's a Scooby Gang in here in a lot of ways and that's a good thing.

[> [> [> Standing up for season 6 -- MaeveRigan, 02:48:07 02/23/03 Sun

Another season 6 fan! We are few but distinguished--as I'm sure you already know perfectly well!

[> [> [> [> Season 6 fans - the few, the proud, the somewhat depressed -- ponygirl, 07:57:51 02/24/03 Mon

You know the best way to appreciate season 6 is to work all day at the service industry job that was supposed to tide you over until something better but has lasted 6 months, lie awake most of the night calculating bills in your head, stare at a blank page for an hour or so without a single creative idea in your head, avoid dating because you realize any sort of rejection will send you over the edge, tell your parents that everything is "fine, really," and realize that the *only* thing you are looking forward to is the first airing of OMWF.

That is when you know what it is to be a season 6 fan. ;)

[> [> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- s'kat, 10:43:23 02/23/03 Sun

(Trust me ladies, do NOT make any major life decisions when you are around 35! It's a phase of pari-menopause and you'll regret it! I have an open email for friends who need talked down in that time frame now.)

LOL! I am 35 now - soon to be 36 - and as luck would have it that's when life decided to tell me a)quit your job now or you will go insane (did...but fear will never find another one, the nightmares I've been having...ugh!) and b)well I live in NYC which I love and hate in equally passionate measures and do not want to move elsewhere. Talk about mid-life crisis mode. I already did the move in with parent thing at 27/28...ain't happening again.

I loved season 6 best of all. I am also loving season 7 and hating that it might be all over soon.

Ditto. I think Season 6 was the first time I truly identified with the characters, especially Buffy. Their lives finally started dove-tailing (metaphorically not literally speaking) with my own. Season 6 and 7 remain my favorite seasons or the two I identify with the most.
Wasn't obsessed with show until Season6, can say that much.

also agree on the board.

[> [> [> [> Yeppers... Welcome to the club, Sister.*L -- Briar Rose (praying for work still), 15:56:59 02/23/03 Sun

Hey I believe that things have to get better once we hit bottom or I'd have checked out by now.

35 was the total nuclear meltdown for me. I hated almost everything about my life. But it turned out itwasn't my life I hated - it was myself! It only got worse over the next three years, basically because I was so ticked at ME for letting it all happen and not turning to anyone for help. If I'd have let the armour down for a little while, maybe my entire life wouldn't have ended up in a shambles....

But the past two years have finally started picking up a little. I figured out me again. What I was dealing with was more about things I needed to fix inside of me than what other people were doing. How I reacted is all on me. (Sort of like Season 6 Scoobies, so there's synchronicity in action.*S*)

Still haven't found a job - but at least the companies appear to be over September 11 jitters and are finally starting to actually look seriously for employees versus the past year of them floating offers just for demos and salary requirements. I am starting to get INTERVIEWS now, when for almost a year there were absolutely NONE on over 250 resumes sent out. Most weren't even acknowledging that the resume was recieved.

You'll find the joy again, Maeve. Sometimes that's all it's about... Finding the joy within us again.

[> [> [> [> Changes at age 35 -- dream, 09:41:45 02/24/03 Mon

It's funny - my boyfriend's anthroposophist mom teaches workshops on personal biography. Basically, there's this whole theory worked out (someone here may know more about it than I do) that uses some ideas from developmental psychology, some from astrology and so forth to analyze the general pattern of people's lives - when certain issues come up, when changes occur, that sort of thing. Anyway, there's a bunch of different cycles that are important, but the seven-year cycle is a big one. Ages 28 and 35 are particularly significant - at these ages, you are supposed to be faced wtih certain decisions about how you want your life to be, and the decisions you make then will define the path of your life from that point. I didn't really pay much attention to all this at first, but then remembered that at the age of 28 I a) got divorce, b) took up art, and c) quit my career in baking and pastry. I've noticed that several of my friends got married at 28, another had a child and left her job for good, also deciding that she would give up her ambitions to go to night school, another suddenly showed an interest in going back to school and moving out of her job and current living situation - and then didn't follow through, which has left her very depressed in the two years that followed (this would be seen as a failure to take up the issues that presented themselves as needing to be solved). Anyway, 35 is supposed to be equally significant. The biographical theory would say that 35 is an IMPORTANT time for making life decisions, not a bad one - the decisions just need to be very conscious and deliberate. Also, if you didn't make the necessary changes at 28, you will probably be in crisis at 35, because each life phase that isn't negotiated successfullly complicates the ones that follow. Or something like that. Wish I knew more about this, but I don't. I am interested in doing one of the workshops, but apparently people under 35 or even 40 are discouraged, in part because younger people tend to be uncomfortable with the idea of their lives fitting patterns. Do find it interesting, though.

[> [> [> [> [> Re: Changes at age 35 -- s'kat, 10:21:32 02/24/03 Mon

Interesting indeed.

At 28 - I gave up hunting a legal job, moved from KC to NYC and got a job in publishing, first real full time job.
Also took more creative writing classes and started work on the novel I just finished.

At 35 - I left the job I got at 28, am shopping my novel around. And inter-acting on the internet, and seem to be more independent than at 28. While I am a bit in mid-life
crisis - I certainly wouldn't describe it as critical.
I like myself. I'm excited about my writing...just would like a job!! LOL!

Interesting how our lives do fit into patterns - because my friends who are 35? They have the same big changes.
One at 28 - ended up leaving her job, moving across country, going to grad school. At 35 - she left grad school, got engaged, and moved back to the place she'd left to go to grad school. Hates the new job.

Hmmm. wish I could take that workshop too.

PS: if you do make it NYC - let us know, I'd love to meet you in person.


[> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Changes at age 35 -- dream, 11:03:25 02/24/03 Mon

I'm definitely planning to be there March 12-15. I'll be there with the boyfriend, though - trying to imagine how to explain to the guy that has never once been online and who has never owned a tv that I want to meet up with some people I've met in a discussion forum about a tv show! It's possible, though. Seems a shame not to meet some of you fine people if I have the chance - it's weird to know people in this way, without voices or faces or even real names. This crazy modern world....

[> [> Re: Re: Boston Public - you bet it is!!! -- Brian, 06:02:45 02/24/03 Mon

Which is why it makes me ill to watch it. I tried when it first came on, becasue it was set in Boston, my home town, but I quickly stoppped.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- manwitch, 19:00:13 02/22/03 Sat

As usual, other commitments have me arriving late to the party. Normally I only go to parties hoping that some captivating young woman with a lot of opinions will corner me to talk theology or Wittgenstein. But they are usually leaving as I arrive.

Iím thirty-seven. Iím not old.

I was born in Chicago (well, Evanston), and lived there, in Indiana, Toronto, Boston, and now Connecticut. Snow would appear to be the common denominator.

I'm a New Englander trapped in a midwesterner's body.

I am married to a truly wonderful woman (a Mainah), who you would never know was a quarter filipina unless you saw her standing next to her father and grandfather. We didnít meet at a party. We met in a grad school seminar. She, the medievalist, got me to read a lot of Carolyn Walker Bynum. I, the postmodernist, got her to roll her beautiful eyes a lot.

I changed my name to hers. Apart from the social security administration, which handled it with ease and grace, it seems to be a cultural obstacle to most. ìYou must be whipped,î is probably the most frequent response. And in the Philippines, itís really confusing. They donít know what to make of it. ìHe must not like his father,î they say.

The Philippines is hot and muggy and has a lot of jelly fish.

My wife asked me to take the Myers/Briggs to help out her cousin, who was training to be a test interpreter. I roll my eyes at personality tests. But I did it to be a good cous-in-law. I was discovered to be an INFP, which is all well and good, but the first line of the description of this personality type was ìThis is the sort of person whose stuffed animals are likely to come to life.î Which might not be particularly funny to you, but to me it was pretty impressive. I have a large collection of stuffed animals, a lot of Folkmanis, which are works of art in themselves. The animal managers are a couple of the old Folkmanis toads, the oneís you canít get anymore, whose task it is to patrol the bed, eat nightmares, and fold the laundry. One is very mischievous, the other sweet and saintly, and rarely found without his copy of Thomas a Kempis. Score one for the personality test, Iíd say.

Might seem weird to you, but at least I donít have to fold the laundry.

I love trains. Used to ride them to Omaha every year, and once on to San Francisco, back when they still had the old carsóBurlington Northern, Union Pacific. I would love to do the Trans Canada. Un peu trop cher.

When I was real little, my mother used to read to me at night, before I went to bed, or if I was sick or something. I would sit there, clutching my stuffed lamb, and she would read to me from Vasariís Liveís of the Artists or Richard Haliburtonís Book of Marvels. My advisor in undergrad called it child abuse.

My parents took us to church when I was little. I donít remember what kind. But the minister said it was getting too crowded, and some people would have to leave. That was the end of my religious upbringing.

In grad school, I had to tell one of my professors that I had to turn in the final assignment either early or late because on the due date I was flying back to Chicago to see the final installment of the Ring cycle at the Lyric. My mother started taking me to the opera when I was three. She claims I was well-behaved.

I get bored easily. It can translate into poor follow-through.

I started playing piano when I was five. I stopped about twenty years later.

I went to Indiana University (alas, before ìShaneís Worldî) to study piano and composition, then to Berklee to study filmscoring. I ultimately got a BA and an MA in modern European history, and then got a job as a graphic designer. Poor follow-through.

But I wasnít really a historian, anyway. I was looking for symbol sets, kind of a la Spengler. I read (past tense) a lot of postmodern theory (and opponents of) and a lot of Holocaust literature. I have a fascination with and antipathy towards petty everyday fascism, having been made acutely aware that size, strength and a bad temper can win any argument. Consequently, I abhor conflict. I like the art of argument, the play with language and rhetoric. I appreciate the devilís advocate and substantive discussion. I like the challenge of being clear and persuasive. But I have no investment in people thinking as I do. Its none of my business.

I probably come off differently though, more stubborn and aggressive. My parents were both English comp professors, and my dad thought of children as little Skinnerian experiment subjects, so I have been ìtrainedî to write argument from way back. (Whenever I hear the little bell ring, I write an argument). And I was always taught to ìmake yourself a target.î Donít hide. Say it forcefully and back it up. Make people address the substance. But itís a rhetorical style, not a belief that people should agree with me.

I have been unable to read since grad school. About eight years now. I mean, I still know how and all, but I have no interest. I am neither proud nor sad of this. Its just how it is. Occasionally Iíll read something, but I donít make a point of reading.

When I do read, I usually skip straight to the end.

I like to read movies and television, and I disagree with the idea that the critical thinking skills applied to books are not applied to film and television.

If I could bring into our time the values of any previous age, I would probably choose a select few from the Renaissance. I wish we as a culture placed a greater value on the inventive aspect of language and communication, rather than clinging to the kind of stultifying rules that make English as vital as Latin. (I love Buffyís language, and hope that we learn from it not just her phrases, but her inventiveness.) I wish art held a higher place in our consciousness, that we were more willing to acknowledge art as overtly spiritual expression, and that we were more willing to acknowledge living itself as the ultimate art form. I think The Courtier is an important book not because of its place as a historical artifact, but because of its message.

I support the Oxfordian claim to authorship, and so do my stuffed animals.

In general, Iím a basketball fan, but I wish the WB would stop showing UCONN games when Angel is supposed to be on. I mean, I could even understand it if it was the womenís team. I mean, theyíre special. But the UCONN men? I wish Amanda could meet Angelus and steer him towards the gym.

Well, not really.

This has been, at least until my contribution, a uniquely compelling series of posts. I find you all to be very interesting people. I have an oddly strong affection for some of you, odd given that I donít really know you at all, in spite of these sometimes funny, sometimes poignant confessions. It is a pleasure to have your influence on my life.

For that, I offer my thanks to the posters and lurkers, to Darby for starting these threads, and of course to Masquerade for a very special forum.

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- Rahael, 21:00:16 02/22/03 Sat

Normally I only go to parties hoping that some captivating young woman with a lot of opinions will corner me to talk theology or Wittgenstein. But they are usually leaving as I arrive.

My dream is to go to parties where charming young men will find my small talk about Wittgenstein and the complexity of 17th century religious culture captivating. Reality differs, though I have to be fair and say that the last party I went to was excellent.

I'm not very good at small talk. Now I'm in the world of work I keep saying the same things: "what a cold day!" "I can't believe it's Monday" and "have we got any biscuits?"

Luckily, every other day I get to chat to peripatetic colleagues about opera, history, politics and fashion. It's one of the reasons I stay in my job. If I had to make the other kind of small talk all the time I think my brains would start bleeding.

I support the Oxfordian claim to authorship, and so do my stuffed animals.

Ooo! If this ever became an off topic thread it would run and run. I'd have to take the status quo claim to authorship.

I like the art of argument, the play with language and rhetoric. I appreciate the devilís advocate and substantive discussion. I like the challenge of being clear and persuasive.

Oh me too! and I share your taste for the Renaissance. One of the main reasons that I did so much early modern history. It's so inspiring to think and write about. And there's the playfulness of it as well. One of the reasons I like BtVS - playfulness with language, metaphor and theme.

[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- s'kat, 21:33:57 02/22/03 Sat


I was born in Chicago (well, Evanston), and lived there

Ditto, me too, about 2 years after you were. 1967. My parents lived there for six-seven years. 1964 - 1969

I'm a New Englander trapped in a midwesterner's body.

Also ditto. Except I'd say New Yorker trapped in midwesterner's body.

I was discovered to be an INFP,

Fairly close here too - INFJ or INFP depending on which year I took the test.

I like to read movies and television, and I disagree with the idea that the critical thinking skills applied to books are not applied to film and television.

Yep, ditto again. Strongly agree.

Hmmm...I suppose I shouldn't find it so odd to find so many weird things in common with posters on this board, after all we are all a) posting and b) doing it on Btvs and Ats.
That probably out-does even the small tid-bits mentioned above.

Enjoyed reading the post. Nice to put a person behind such interesting essays and posts.


[> [> [> Hey! Me too.. -- Rufus, 02:25:16 02/23/03 Sun

I'm iNFj.....whatever the heck that means...

And Manwitch.....I always read the last chapter first....and eat dessert before dinner...:):):):)

[> [> [> [> INFP, here! (But I never skip ahead in books. And I'm unspoiled.) -- dream, 10:20:32 02/24/03 Mon

[> [> [> [> I former spoiler trollop in rehab -- s'kat, 21:18:44 02/24/03 Mon

I always read the last chapter first....and eat dessert before dinner...:):):):)

this was me too...until recently. Very hard habit to break. I still find myself flipping ahead to the end of books when I get bogged down or overly anxious about a character's fate. For instance say a certain character I love is about to get really hurt? I skip to see if they are okay then flip back. It took me two full years to stop this, since this habit ruined my enjoyment of a few books - namely Robert Ludlum's The Bourne Identity - which I've read the end, part of the middle and the beginning of. A fantastic book in my point of view for the longest time was the books that I couldn't figure out what happened when i read the last chapter first.

This habit has jumped to TV shows. If I get overly anxious about a character or a character's story arc? (Afraid the writers will disappoint me terribly or hurt me) I have to stop myself from jumping to spoilers. Due to some worrisome posts above - almost went to spoilerslayer and spoilerzone and B C & S again tonight, but I was able to stop myself.
Whew. Being a former spoiler whore is tough, believe me.


[> [> Re: Meet the Posters -- MaeveRigan, 02:55:36 02/23/03 Sun

"My parents took us to church when I was little. I donít remember what kind. But the minister said it was getting too crowded, and some people would have to leave. That was the end of my religious upbringing"

Now that was child abuse. Sorry, couldn't resist.

Agree about just about everything else, though!

[> [> Authorship? -- Random, 08:13:40 02/23/03 Sun

Oxfordian? Bleah! :-@ You certainly are a postmodernist, aren't you? De gustibus...

~Random, who rememberw being an INTP...which, whatever the hell it meant, was dead-on. Can't recall why.

[> [> [> Re: Authorship? -- MaeveRigan, 11:10:15 02/23/03 Sun

Oops--overlooked the Oxfordian thing. Disagree with you there! But let's not get all crazy about it, shall we?

[> [> Have you ridden the Empire Builder? -- luna, 13:38:29 02/24/03 Mon

I love trains, too, and one of the best was the Empire Builder from Chicago to Seattle via Glacier Park. Two gorgeous mountain ranges, and all the flat part at night--both ways!

I also loved a train that went from Yaounde to Ngoundere in Cameroon (wonderful stations in the middle of the night, with children wandering around selling mangos at 3 AM, maybe not so wonderful) and one that goes from Prague along the Berounka river toward Pilsen in the Czech Republic (castles on mountains).

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- akanikki, 12:47:27 02/23/03 Sun

Seems like I started a response several times before, but never hit "Send" - and as I rarely post, not sure my info is really relevant - but who knows - perhaps you'd like to know about one of your many lurking fans.

I'm female and in my 40's - but only until the end of this year (in my 40's, that is - I am pretty sure I still remain female). Born in Dallas, but lived many places with my career-Army dad/family - in Texas, Oklahoma, Hawaii, Arizona, Italy, and Germany. One of the mottos adopted from my dad - "Home is where the icebox is" or restated as I understood it - no matter where you live, you will find good food, good people, and interesting sights.

Moving so much made me far more outgoing and flexible than I probably would have been. I always test as an INTP - but the I&T are always near the line to E&F, while the N&P are solid. A bookworm since early childhood, I started reading the classics in 4th grade (in alphabetical order) and finished by 7th grade. Then, I started reading various philosophers in 10th and 11th grade. Obviously, I missed alot due to my immaturity/lack of comprehension. And until 10 years ago, was generally unwilling to reread anything I'd read before, so pretty much now regret my precociousness.

However, I did learn that all genres have something to offer and I can and will read anything - fiction, nonfiction, scifi, westerns, horrer, romance, and so on - even backs of cereal boxes. My taste in music, fashion, design, and food is much the same - all over the map.

Unchallenged intellectually and always the "brain" in school - all 18 of them - left me unprepared for college and the major set-back when it became apparent I was not as smart as I thought I was. Sometimes, I think I never got over it. So, I settled for a degree in accounting and went to work in Houston for a major oil corporation. No marriage and no kids, working 12-14 hour days with only my sheltie Chelsea, soccer and skiing as outlets (well, also movies, travel, books and friends), various stints in taking care of my teenage brother and later my dying grandmother left me unsatisfied with my life. So, 10 years ago I traded great salary/benefits/no free time for lousy salary/benefits/still no free time and started managing volunteers and fundraising for various social service not-for-profits. In 2001, after losing my dog, my step-mom, my dad and then my uncle, I relocated to Northern California to be close to my sister and her kids. It took 18 months to find a job, but now I am back doing accounting for a not-for-profit (and fundraising as a volunteer).

Having had tv viewing interrupted in my pre-teen years (living in Europe pre-cable), I waited until the late 80s to start watching anything but mini-series, soccer, and the Olympics. Since then, have discovered several shows I really liked, but many were re-runs by the time I found them (Wiseguy, Star Trek-TNG, Beauty & The Beast, Mash). Some I saw in real time were I'll Fly Away (someone earlier mentioned Sam Waterson!), Sisters, Northern Exposures, ST-Deep Space Nine, Roswell. Except for I'll Fly Away, I usually got bored before the series ended.

Which brings us to Buffy. My brother-in-law and sister got me to watch in mid-year S3 and I was hooked after the 2nd episode. I've watched religiously since, adding Angel and later Firefly. And that's pretty much all I watch now. Have all the dvd collections and numerous vcr tapes. While unemployed, I started visiting various Russell Crowe sites (my other viewing obsession) and just since this past summer, started visiting Buffy sites. Have to admit, my viewing has taken on a new dimension since I finally found your site, although I tend to appreciate, rather than feel I have anything to add.

Wow, hard to stop once you get rolling ...

[> [> OT: I'll Fly Away -- MaeveRigan, 13:25:30 02/23/03 Sun

Some I saw in real time were I'll Fly Away (someone earlier mentioned Sam Waterson!), [...] Except for I'll Fly Away, I usually got bored before the series ended.

akanikki, I'm the one who mentioned Sam Waterston, and I'll Fly Away was another series I loved. Every episode was a gem. Regina Taylor was utterly brilliant. In fact, IMO it was the best series ever, first series I ever taped, when it was re-run on PBS. If it ever comes out on DVD, I'll be right there.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Haecceity, coming late to the party as per usual, 17:19:11 02/23/03 Sun

Meet the Posters

Am posting instead of:
Finishing up the last dregs of a research project I should never have got involved with, going to the Laundromat (my only possible excuse for wearing blue and yellow stripey pajama bottoms and a red CBGB tank top), writing a paper on how Firefly was both victim & beneficiary of genre combination, designing a dream fall TV schedule (ok, sometimes my major is totally cool), writing a lengthy breakdown on the influence of Plato on Western Thought, making guacamole (technically not a requirement for anything, but seeming awfully urgent at the momentómmm, guacamole), reading S/Z for, like, the thousandth timeóyou know when your grad classes are meshing with your undergrad when you have to read all the same books again, going grocery shopping, as Iím out of avocadoes for the afore-mentioned guacamole, doing anything remotely productive. Instead, am totally blowing it off to write about me.

I function best when the default buttonís in the ìrandomî position, so here goesó

ï Spent an inordinate amount of effort to prove that a girl who wanted to be a cinematographer could break through the camera house fraternity. Looked up in the midst of the haul and thought, ìis this it?î A happy accident sort of injury saved me from the long look into the abyss that gets one in trouble, as it forced me to consider other paths. Didnít think so at the time. Have learned a lot about the nature of goals and serendipity in the last five years. Have finally learned to appreciate unbelievable coincidence, to consider synchronicity a spiritual practice. Am beginning to wonder if surprise is a fundamental human need.

ï Having discovered that Iím okay with being defined by what I do, am now seeking that definition. But I still own a ìWhy grow up when you can make movies?î motto shirt (currently in the afore-mentioned all-encompassing pile of dirty laundry in desperate need of a trip to the laundry). Thatís still me, too. Wondering if the destination is still the same, only the path has changed.

ï Enrolled in grad school this January. Am taking a lot of guff from traditionalists for my ìVisual Narrativeî major. They can go to blazes with their literary theory as far as Iím concerned. The world seems to be leaning in my direction these days. Plus, it just canít be healthy to obsess over Swanís Way that much. Buffyís not the only one who needs a good game of Frisbee, IMO.

ï Iím a Leo (of course, note the length of this post ;) with an Aquarius moon and Sagittarius rising. Iíve been advised this means I take very little seriously. Iíve run with that advice, despite (or because of) its sharp edges.

ï I need a bookmark with a list of names/ nicknames/ alternate nicknames to read Russian novels.

ï I consistently lose bookmarks.

ï I donít read many Russian novels.

ï I like to be upside down.

ï In school I used to glue shut the cupboards where they kept the math books. No one ever blamed me for it. Am only confessing now as I believe the statute of limitations is up on cupboard glue-age. Also highly doubt that Mrs. Vendell, math-teacher from hell, is a member of this illustrious forum. She was more of a Russian novel lady. So, like Joss, I sucked at mathóbut was proactive about it;)

ï I wonder what the Statue of Limitations would look like.

ï I personify and anthropomorphize EVERYTHING.

ï My last fortune cookie read, ìYou will be called upon to help a friend in need.î Donít know why, but this utterly thrills me. Guess Dawnís not the only one jazzed over hero potential. Of course this probably just means someone needs help moving;)

ï I am utterly, passionately in love with Mikhail Baryshnikov.

ï I honestly believe mild to moderate depression can be cured by watching the dancing mushrooms in Fantasia. You know, more than once. Like a daily dosage sort of thing.

ï People are welcome to break my heart, but not to waste my time.

ï I keep trying to write biographical details, but these other seem so much more revealing than the facts. Iím a strictly ìJust the general impression, maíamî sort. Admit it, the fact that Mr. Snufalupagus (yeah, like it matters how I spell it) terrified/s me, is so much more revealing than knowing I was born in Alaska and moved 14 times and went to school for as long as they made me and then some, and have relatives and friends and a life story not much different from that of the average 27 year old girl.

ï I donít like pie. But every so often I order it, thinking, ìMaybe I like pie now.î I never do.

ï Sometimes I wonder if Post-Modernism is just silliness trying to prove a point. Of course, arenít they all about the no-pointiness?

ï Eyes and arms and smiles are nice, but I fall in love with voices first.

ï I donít like baseball, but I love its metaphorsóone man against a field of oppositions, struggling to return homeóso very Homerian, no?

ï I used to ditch school to lay out in an abandoned field and read poetry.

ï Even when I read the wrapper first, Iím ALWAYS surprised by cinnamon gum.

ï The discs in my 5-disc changer are currentlyóTori Amosí Little Earthquakes, Modest Mouseís Everywhere And His Nasty Parlour Tricks, Bowieís Heathen, Morcheebaís Charango, and Transvision Vampís Velveteen. These are by no means representational, merely indicative;) I make no apologies for musical eclecticism, nor downright questionable taste at times. Lifeís too short to defend your taste in music. Unless youíre a Backstreet fanóthen I expect some sort of note from a certified physician.

ï I despise mathóit has no metaphors.

ï I prefer possibility to reality, but am trying to see the one in the other.

ï I have a tendency to rush off in all directions at once.

ï I gave in and bought the Angel DVDs (ëcause of the influence on S7 Buffy, of course)óturns out I love the damn show now, alright?

ï Am utterly convinced I should have a license to hit anyone who says ìorientatedî. Repeatedly, if required.

ï Sometimes I wake up and donít remember which city Iím living in, whatís beyond the front door. Am I strange to find this comforting and meaning-of-life-ful?

ï Jim Carrey irritates the bejeezus out of me.

ï Sometimes I canít be bothered to spell properly.

ï I have the attention span of a domestic goldfish, which clocks in at about three seconds. Iím told the wild variety are sage-like in their patience, but suspect my informant was just taking a piss.

ï I prefer snarky people to those consistently in earnest. Have recently moved to an ultra-PC campus. Discovering my own snarkiosity levels going through the roof. Am just fine with this.

ï After watching anything Shakespeare I unconsciously speak in iambic pentameter for hours.

ï I sometimes wonder if my life functions as comic relief for the gods of unbelievable coincidence.

ï I giggle in my sleep, as though I were up to something.

ï Iím often up to something.

ï Despite the overwhelming evidence presented to the contrary, I just canít see life as a struggle.

ï Iím bored by detailógive me scope!

ï I donít get slash. At the BYO Subtext party mine would never be sexual. I wonder if that makes me boring.

ï I refuse to apologize for thinking sports are mind-numbingly dull.

ï In high school I got a scholarship to study at Le Ecole des Beaux Arts, but didnít go, as I wasnít ìkeen on Paris.î

ï I can be profoundly idiotic sometimes.(Am fairly certain I didn't even spell the name of the school right, as my French sucks)

ï I love this board, but sometimes find it hard to commit to it for long stretches. Donít feel badóthereís very little I can commit to for long stretches.

ï The atomic number of Oxygen is eight. This is the only thing I remember from chemistry class.

ï I can hold my breath for two minutes and 32 seconds. I wonít go into how I found that out, but letís just say I got the Gertrude Ederle reference in ìGo Fish!î

ï I listen to Tom Waits when I need to be comforted. No one ever understands this.

ï I miss walking down Marlborough Street (Boston) in the spring so much sometimes that itís almost physically painful.

ï I took the SATs amidst a cloud of butterflies. They werenít forthcoming with the geometry answers, which, in hindsight, is good. Useless fleeting beauty is wonderful precisely because of its useless-ness. Besides, what do butterflies know about geometry anyway? (Answer: more than me;)

ï I like to wander barefoot through public buildings after hours.

ï In general, facts bore me, but I think character details endlessly intriguing. Iíve found this series of posts to be profoundly moving and enlightening and funny and bizarre and endearing and other adjectives in the positive vein. Thank you all for your candor and your willingness to press that approve button. Anyone who thinks this board would vanish at the end of Buffy gives us little credit, indeed. We could pore over the meta-ness in this thread alone for YEARS. ME isnít the only group who writes strong, interesting, lovable characters, after all.

one not yet cured of happiness

[> [> What the Statute of Limitations looks like...and other things -- s'kat, 17:44:53 02/23/03 Sun

I'm using your post to procrastinate doing other things...including looking through 900 job want ads that seem to be mostly for accounting jobs, (ugh if only I didn't suck at math) hee hee.

1.I wonder what the Statue of Limitations would look like.

It's a huge Book, usually blue or brown and can be used as a door stop. Every state has the statutes. Very boring reading with all sorts of odd loop holes that made 0 sense.
Which goes to show you most legislators can't write.

2.ï Jim Carrey irritates the bejeezus out of me.

Me too. Wonder why that is?

3.ï I despise mathóit has no metaphors.

Ditto. But I'm told it does have metaphors - I just unfortunately can't get far enough to make any sense of them. Apparently the complex logrithrythms (sp?) and geometry are full of them. Or so I'm told.

Lovely post.


[> [> [> Hmm, wonder what the statute of limitations would read like as written by ME -- Haecceity, 18:17:35 02/23/03 Sun

After all, they're also in the "you will pay for everything" camp. Probably much more interesting,though, Greek-tragedy-wise. They could have a demon for every offense.

If I were feeling more creative and not hell-bent on guacamole at this point I'd do up a little "for instance", but, like I said--mmm, guacamole.

Oh, cjl! Your incomparable satire services are required!

As for the Jim Carrey thing--it's 'cause we're discerning, sophisticated, downright humor-having individuals, I imagine. Or maybe it's just that he seems such a "guy thing". Dunno. No offense to those who like him--just not my cuppa.

And thanks, you never know how these things will go over sometimes. Wish I'd heard of it sooner, but have been away from the board as my discs were delayed and didn't want to be spoiled over First Date and Get It Done, though now I'm horribly behind and will have to do massive amounts of reading--just in time for another new ep. Don't hate me, but at this point a new ep every other week would be okay by me.


[> [> [> [> New Btvs episodes, statutes of limitations, etc -- s'kat, 22:30:24 02/23/03 Sun

Well..you're about to get your wish. Last new Btvs episode is this week. After Tues, we don't get a new one until March 18th I think. Then probably nothing until the end of April beginning of May.

The good news is we will get new Ats all the way up to May.
And right now, I seem to be looking forward more to those than Btvs...lord only knows why. (Methinks I'm far too invested in the character arc of a certain supporting character on Btvs for my emotional good. And I'm convinced right now that ME is gonna hurt me. LOL! Ats does not really pose a problem since I'm not that invested. Being too emotionally invested in fictional television characters is NOT a good thing.)

After all, they're also in the "you will pay for everything" camp.

Yes the statute would probably be a thin paper-back. One line. The Statute of Limitations for All Crimes conducted in the Buffyverse is indefinite and you can pay whenever Lord Joss, God of said verse decides to make your life miserable for storyline purposes. Sometimes I wonder if we aren't also characters in someone's perverse idea of a televions show - (Star Trek Next Generation did a riff on this once)- if so? Whoever is watching me, must be bored out of their mind. LOL!

Yes - Whedon seems to be of the restributivist view as opposed to the utilitarian view of punishement. Actually, I can't really tell - both are incorporated. Spike's Chip is utilitarian. Angel's soul is retributivist. Personally?
I have no clue which I agree with, both seem awfully problematic. But then so does the whole concept of justice, vengeance and punishment...hence the reason I decided to wisely leave the whole criminal law profession before it drove me stark raving mad. ;-)


[> [> [> [> but i thought you said... -- anom, 10:25:02 02/24/03 Mon

..."statue of limitations"! And I assumed you spelled it that way on purpose. But then I tend to take things literally, especially when it looks like it could be fun.

A statue of limitations could be:

A stern-looking figure shaking its finger at whoever is trying to exceed limitations. I like the idea that being a statue, it couldn't actually shake the finger!

Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry (wasn't it?) saying, "You gotta know your limitations." That would have to go on the statue's plaque, I guess.

My mom with her dubious look on, saying, "Now, don't be disappointed if...." Always made me feel like she didn't think I could do whatever I was so enthusiastic about.

A mime doing the "in the box" routine. That would express 2 kinds of limitations w/1 stone! Y'know, as in "carved in"...OK, I'm getting too literal again.

An anyperson looking...ineffectual. Might be too open to other interpretations.

Bird in a cage? Too much of a clichÈ? Then again, that's its own kind of limitation, so maybe it's appropriate.

[> [> [> [> [> So did I, anom! First thing that came to my head when I read... -- Resh, 10:47:08 02/24/03 Mon

"Statue of Limitations" was the First General's big phallic obelisk that rules over DC's skyline (I've been pondering patriarchy lately...). Not wanting to limit my muse in any nationalist way quickly led me to mental images of Towering clocks tracking time in London and Eiffel's rigid conceit in Paris.

Are anom and I the only ones for whom the phrase sparks the rise of oddly disconnected images (with, of course, lengthy mental expositions on the nature of time, space and culture attached)?

[> [> [> [> [> [> or maybe an office bldg.... -- anom, 17:08:54 02/24/03 Mon

...in which every office has a glass ceiling. (See what happens when you mention patriarchy?)

"Eiffel's rigid conceit," hmm? "Conceit" in both senses of the word? @>)

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Read as statue -- Celebaelin, 11:30:06 02/25/03 Tue

A self portrait of the sculptor during the work in progress perhaps? That's artistic regression isn't it?

[> [> That was hilarious -- Tchaikovsky, 03:06:06 02/24/03 Mon

Cheered me up considerably. Not that I was particularly down, it's just that something so interesting and whimsical always cheers me up.

One point- despite all Odysseys to the contrary, I am currently doing a maths degree. There's massive amounts of metaphor right through the heart of it. Degree level maths is all about finding patterns and overlaps- constructing isomorphisms so that, by analogue, one can understand something else. Imagine a very simple graph, and list of equations describing the graph. The graph gives you the useful visual aid- the equations give you the nitty-gritty and the access to techniques from which you can play with the function more.

Not meaning to get too deep or dull, but there are metaphors lurking under the surface of mathematics. Or at least, I like to think so, otherwise I'd never pull myself away from the Buffy/Angel universe at all!


[> [> [> Einstein's thoughts on math metaphors -- Veronica, 12:03:21 02/24/03 Mon

"So far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain. And so far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality." [Geometry and Reality]

[> [> [> [> heehee! it's the einstein uncertainty principle! -- anom, 14:29:13 02/24/03 Mon

Now that's going Heisenberg one better! Can't let that go by without quoting a button (of course I have this one!): "I used to have a Heisenbergmobile, but every time I looked at the speedometer, I got lost"

If anyone can adapt that to Einstein's version, I'd love to see it.

[> [> [> [> Then ALL of maths is a metaphor for perception!! QED -- Tchaikovsky, 03:56:02 02/25/03 Tue

[> [> I've got a theory... -- MaeveRigan, 08:48:33 02/24/03 Mon

...that some monks made Haeccity out of me and a ball of glowy energy...we just have too freaking much in common. H is obviously the younger sister--just a little wilder ;-)

--Leos with Sagittarius rising
--the Russian novel issues
--hating the math. Thanks, H, for explaining why I've always hated it--no metaphors! Of course! I once got a B in geometry, maybe because it had pictures?
--I don't get slash either. Nice to have some company in this.
--I believe baseball makes a really good novel and/or movie.
--Clouds of butterflies and wandering barefoot through public buildings after hours figured prominently in my childhood and high-school years.
--My French is pretty good, but I've never been interested in Paris.

What are the odds?

[> [> I currently have a things about people mixing up 'adverse' and 'averse'. AARRRGGGHHH! -- Caroline, 13:31:50 02/25/03 Tue

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Shiraz, 09:27:41 02/24/03 Mon

Well, lets see;

I'm a white male, born in rural Connecticut, currently living in urban Ohio.

My Birthday is 11/4/69.

I've got a Master's Degree in International Affairs with a specialty in Affican affairs, and I've spent a year in Zimbabwe through a work abroad program.

I actually started watching Angel before I started watching Buffy around season 2/5. Got hooked on buffy after the fifth Season ep "The Body".

I empathize most closely with Xander due to my experiences in the SCA getting pummelled by people much stronger/faster/bigger than I am.


[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Dichotomy, 10:59:17 02/24/03 Mon

I started to post this on Friday, but somehow it's now Monday, but here it is anyway:

I'm a married 36-year-old stay at home mother of two delightful children, ages 7 and 3. It's quite a challenging job at times, but also extremely rewarding. I love it!

My son has Asperger's disorder, which is sometimes called "Little Professor Syndrome" or compared to Autism. He's extremely intelligent, but social rules are difficult for him to grasp. He loves to quantify everything, and has come such a long way with therapy. I'm very proud of him!

Then there's my daughter: social, self-confident ,smart and such a girly-girl. She's always smiling and loves her brother dearly. They're really great friends, in between the usual sibling squabbles.

The night I met my husband, he told his mother "I think I met the girl I'm going to marry," not because he was head over heels--it was just a feeling. The love came shortly thereafter.

My cat weighs 20.5 pounds and sometimes tries to sleep on my head.

Pre-kids, I was an editor for a cable TV trade magazine, which afforded me the chance to travel to London. I absolutely loved it and hope to visit again.

That being said, I don't travel that much because I'm quite a homebody. I enjoy the places I visit, but I'm always glad to get back home. I've lived in beautiful, sunny Colorado since I was 2 and never want to move.

My one real celebrity contact was when I met the B52s because the guitarist's boyfriend thought I looked like the biggest fan there, what with my goofy dancing and off-key singing during the concert. I felt awkward trying to make small talk, but they let us hang out with them til 2am, so I guess my friends and I weren't too awful.

I've always been pretty shy, but I let a friend talk me into taking improv comedy classes. I'm having such a great time, and have been asked to understudy a skit comedy show in the same theater where I take my classes. I'm terrified, but I'm going to do it.

I'm fairly intelligent, but I don't consider myself a deep thinker, and I view Buffy and Angel very literally. That's why I visit here almost every day: to expand my viewing experience and learn a little bit more about philosophy, literature, religion and whatever else the brilliant posters here can share.

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- mundusmundi, 15:11:44 02/24/03 Mon

Let's see....I haven't done this for awhile. Is this right?

I am one of at least two mm's on this board -- the amateur scientist wanna-be, as opposed to the real thing.

I am in my early 30's, tall and lanky, and when I am in possession of a goatee, resemble a weird amalgam between John Turturro and Jesus Christ.

I have lived all over the middle of the U.S., yet have rarely experienced the coasts.

I am halfway through my first year master's program in Library Science. I like it. One of my courses this semester is an Archives class. I like that too.

I stopped posting regularly a few months ago, but have been lurking intermittently. Off for a long while, mostly on lately. I've been enjoying the episodes since the brief winter siesta, and I've been enjoying many of the recent threads.

I'm an atheist who is fascinated by faith, an academic who loves movies, an introvert who works in the extroverted field of teaching. I'm a quiet person with a raging temper at times. I despise bullies in all forms. I admire people who have what I have -- a genuine love of learning. I especially admire people who have a gift I don't -- making others feel comfortable.

I'll probably go back to lurking again, not having much (or much time) to contribute. I have large gaps in my knowlege with what's been going on with the board lately. But I do know that I am most assuredly not Sigmundi Freud.



[> [> Wow! Welcome Back! -- Rahael, 15:21:04 02/24/03 Mon

I've been watchful but disappointed until now! Here's hoping you find more time to post. I don't believe that bit about not having much to contribute ;)

[> [> [> Re: Speaking of people who make others feel comfortable....:) -- mm, 17:28:34 02/24/03 Mon

[> [> [> [> awww! and.... -- Rahael, 03:04:22 02/25/03 Tue

I felt a little abashed when I posted and realised that I'd ended my reply with an emoticon. Then I felt better because you used one too, LOL.

[> [> Hey mm, how's your love life? -- Masq, 16:42:33 02/24/03 Mon

[> [> [> Re: I'm loving life fine, thanks for asking. -- mm, 17:30:58 02/24/03 Mon

[> [> Look, I suck at this sort of thing, but . . . -- d'Herblay, 14:30:08 02/25/03 Tue

. . . stick around for a bit. You've been missed.

[> [> [> Re: . . .yes, please do, mm. -- aliera, 18:28:24 02/25/03 Tue

[> Re: Meet the Posters -- Isabel, 21:24:52 02/24/03 Mon

I am finding it difficult to describe myself, but here goes.

I am a 36 year old single woman in Upstate New York. (I am considering becoming 29 again, because I don't like the way people have begun treating me, like I'm over the hill.) I am a librarian by trade, but that is not my job title. I have the masters degree and experience, but not the salary. I've been considering a change for years, but I like my job and co-workers and unless something unforseen happens, I may not be laid off due to budget cuts.

I was raised on a farm outside of Troy, NY. We had dogs, cats, cows, horses, chickens, pheasants, ducks, geese and a sheep at various times. My parents grew up in NYC and moved to rural NY about a year before I was born. I was a late life boredom baby. My older sister tells me that the family's culture shock was like the book The Egg and I.

I loathe geese. They're vicious birds and I wish I liked their taste so I could eat them more. When I went to college I swore I'd never, ever have a garden again. The last 2 years, I've NEEDED to have vegetables growing outside my door. Spring is coming and I'm already wondering which veggies are less likely to be swiped by my enterprising neighbors or if I should just do herbs instead. The irony is not lost on me. I tear up whenever I hear Alan Jackson's song "Drive" because the last verse was me. (It's about his teaching his daughters to drive their old rusty jeep across the pastures at their home.)

Last year I felt the joy of being evicted. My landlady worked hard at paying her mortgage for years and then didn't pay her taxes. (Property Owners take heed, She lost everything. Pay your taxes!) I had to find a new place and get out in 1 month. With the help of my friends, I did it. My apartment is nicer and I'm out of the crime ridden area in Schenectady and living in a small town. It's more expensive but I haven't heard gun shots from my apartment since I moved here.

Since one of my 3 owners is sitting on my mouse I must mention that I am a cat person.

I studied French and Italian in College. I've lost most of it. I still have a great loathing for Madame Bovary.

I like traveling, but have developed a phobia of flying. I can't enter an airport, even to just pick someone up, without a panic attack. I once turned down an all expenses paid trip to Hong Kong because I couldn't get on the plane. I have since discovered anti-anxiety drugs and have been able to travel by air. It's like someone has taken 100 lbs. of rocks off my chest.

I have tried to convert various friends and family to Buffy and Angel with little success. Those that like the shows pretty much found them on their own. Most of them think I'm a bit obsessive and they also feel that the shows have gone downhill since Buffy and Cordelia, etc., have stopped wearing the push up bras, low cleavages and mini skirts. (I can't talk to these people.)

I am a happy ending junkie and I am worried that I will hate the endings of the shows.

I like pop-culture movies and sci/fi fantasy genres. There are few movies that I've seen that I couldn't find something to like about them. That list includes such classics as "Weekend at Bernie's", "Dude, where's my car?", and "The New Guy." (OK, "Wizards of the Lost Kingdom" is horrible beyond belief, and I grew up watching Dr. Who caliber special effects (and plot lines.) I also tried to watch "Psycho Beach Party." I lasted 10 minutes before I turned it off because I couldn't bear to watch Nicholas Brendan in that garbage.)

[> [> Re: Ah, Troy! - One of my favorite cities -- Brian, 05:01:21 02/25/03 Tue

When I left my job of nine years, I had little regrets. But leaving Troy? That was hard.

[> Re: Meet the Posters - d'Herblay -- Rahael, 05:09:37 02/25/03 Tue

Well díHerblay keeps putting this off, so Iím deputising. And if turns out to be unbearably schmoopy, well itíll probably get buried under the avalanche of new posts after tonights ep! And hey, he has the power to delete this. So I'm writing this with impunity.

One other reason that Iím doing this is because if he wrote it, heíd spend the entire post detailing every one of his imagined faults. It would be funny, and sardonic and sweet, but not very accurate.

Iíd tell you his age (6 years older than me) only heís convinced that heís one step away from senility and doesnít like talking about it. Heís also convinced heís constantly at deathís door from sudden, fatal illnesses. Last month he had a bad headache which he was sure was a brain tumour. (Though when the glands on his neck got swollen he did cross off Aids as a possible cause.) He has a sharp wit, a sardonic turn of phrase and affects a cynical attitude. In reality, heís far more charitable, kind hearted and tolerant of others faults than I am. He sees the best in everyone, except himself. Heís very sensitive, and gets worried about hurting others feelings. This never happens intentionally. When it does itís because of a moment of extreme obtuseness. Heís getting better at noticing when I get pissed off!

He makes me laugh all the time, even for days afterwards with a comment or an observation. He can be grumpy. He has a hot temper, like myself. Our fights flare up, but die down quickly and with much sweetness.

When I first started getting to know him well, one of my first impressions was that he could easily be an inhabitant of many of my favourite literary worlds. This impression was compounded by the fact that ours was an epistolary romance with a modern edge. Heís a very good letter writer when he wants to be. Heís a keen cruciverbalist. No day can be complete without a cryptic crossword, which he finishes very quickly.

Heís really bad at hiding the fact that he is indifferent to poetry (apart from Shakespeare, natch). Like Darby, he skims poetry in posts. He travels widely, though he claims to not enjoy it. He reads copiously, both fiction and non-fiction, and possesses a depth of knowledge of many subjects, including my own disciplines. Sometimes he knows more than me about history. This is not fair!

Heís definitely a cat person, with three cats he loves tremendously (Creamsickle, Leviathan and Little One). Heís an only child, and gets on really well with both his parents.

Heíd also probably like me to let you know that he is sexy, suave and very masculine. The very last word Iíd use to describe him is sweet. Iíd just like to get that on the record. díHerblay is not sweet in the slightest!

He is getting resigned to the fact that I think heís sweet (Iím supposed to substitute the word ësexyí whenever I say ësweetí but I keep forgetting)

díHerblay would like to maintain at all times an intriguing air of mystery about himself. This is why Iím not allowed to reveal any more.

But the most important thing I know about him is that he is loving, and kind and (whisper it) sweet.

Three themes in one, which wondrous scope affords.
Fair, kind, and true, have often lived alone,
Which three till now, never kept seat in one.

(William Shakespeare)

[> [> Aaahh, that was just (don't look, d'H)....sweet. -- Resh, 10:35:56 02/25/03 Tue

[> [> That's so... sexy, Rah : ) Can I be a Rah/d'H shipper? -- Scroll, 14:09:06 02/25/03 Tue

I'm already a die-hard Darby/Sara shipper, so I'm in the neighbourhood. d'Herblay sounds like a terrific guy so lucky you, Rahael! Too bad about the not-liking poetry, though : )

[> [> [> Re: That's so... sexy, Rah : ) Can I be a Rah/d'H shipper? -- Rahael, 15:31:38 02/25/03 Tue

LOL Scroll.

dH is indeed a terrific guy. I always think how lucky I was to ever come here. Of course you can be a Rah/dH shipper. But isn't it the unresolved sexual tension that powers a show? Did we just ruin the Moonlighting-like atmosphere of quippery on the board? And shouldn't there be people violently decrying the ship? There were for Buffy and Spike. Does the Rah/dH ship mean that the board has jumped the shark?

As for the poetry liking. It's an acquired taste. He's going to acquire it (insert evil laughter here).

Rahael, who is also a Darby/Sara shipper!

[> [> [> [> No sharks IRL! -- luna, 16:14:05 02/25/03 Tue

...just happily ever afters (sometimes!)

[> [> [> [> What's wrong with a little resolution? -- Sara, remembering Bruce Willis and the hair plugs, 18:19:56 02/25/03 Tue

Much quippery is still available - and I expect much tension to be had during the poetry acquistion project.

- Sara, Rah-D'h shipper looking forward to D'herblay quoting Emily Dickinson sometime soon

[> [> [> [> [> Or... -- aliera, 19:13:07 02/25/03 Tue

...according to Dumas perhaps something else?

"What can you expect?" replied Aramis, in a tone of resignation. "Every man that's born must fulfil his destiny."

"If it be not an indelicate question," resumed D'Artagnan, "have you grown rich?"

"Oh, Heaven! no. I make about twelve thousand francs a year, without counting a little benefice of a thousand crowns the prince gave me."

"And how do you make your twelve thousand francs? By your poems?"

"No, I have given up poetry, except now and then to write a drinking song, some gay sonnet or some innocent epigram; I compose sermons, my friend."

from 20 Years After thus quoth Abbe d'Herblay

I vote for for the gay sonnet although I'm quite willing to see the innocent? epigram attempted also. ;-)

[> [> [> [> [> [> Great quote, Aliera! -- Rahael, 02:16:39 02/26/03 Wed

[> [> [> [> [> "Hope is the thing with feathers" -- can I go now? -- d'Herblay, 20:47:51 02/25/03 Tue

Does it count if I only know it from reading Woody Allen?

[> [> [> [> [> [> Nope - Start waxing poetical -- Sara, who has total faith in Rahael, 07:43:36 02/26/03 Wed

I happen to like WH Auden, but John Donne, TS Eliot, Walt Whitman, any of those guys I don't understand will probably do fine. "Under the spreading chestnut tree the village smithy stands..."

[> Paging HonorH! Shouldn't Honorificus do one of these? ;o) -- Rob, 10:42:13 02/25/03 Tue

[> [> Well, why don't we just do a "Meet the Evil Alter-egos" thread? -- The First Evil (looking very much like Jenny Calendar today), 11:14:52 02/25/03 Tue

[> [> [> But let's wait until the madness of the new episode passes (Thurs/Fri) -- PQoST, 15:05:47 02/25/03 Tue

[> [> [> [> Very well. But our time will come. -- The Unclean (sheathing his blade), 16:17:11 02/25/03 Tue

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