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Entropy as irreversibility (partly in response to Darby's "Entropy questions, ...") -- Lonesome Sundown, 17:53:58 05/01/02 Wed

*delurk* Okay, my second attempt at posting this. My earlier one never showed up. Anyway, I've been reading many insightful posts here for some time now and finally have something useful to say (I think).

Darby wrote:
> Don't get the title - everything falls apart? It seems
> like just the opposite was happening. The only entropic > activity was in things that had already fallen apart,
> and even those forged new or stronger connections
> elsewhere.

Entropy (to be more accurate, the CHANGE in entropy) has another interpretation: it is a measure of the irreversibility of any process. "Things fall apart" and you can't put them back together to be exactly the way they were before. And I think some relationships and perceptions were changed forever in the episode.

Xander says "I just wish we could go back to the way things were before". To him it means the time when he and Anya were dating and he didn't have to worry about the commitment of marriage. This is also clear from his dialogue with Buffy and Willow in Normal Again:

(from the shooting script of Normal Again at http://www.studiesinwords.de/shooting/normal1.html)

WILLOW So, you left her at the altar but... you still want...?

BUFFY You still want to date?

XANDER I guess. I know my life is better with her in it.

But Anya asks "Do you still want to marry me?" and Xander's stumbling answer pushes her on the path to vengeance. Clearly there's no way to "go back to the way things were before", even before Anya has sex with Spike, because they want different things.

The sex, now THAT changes a whole lot of other things. It might actually help Anya and Xander to understand themselves better. Anya, who was trying for the first 55 minutes of the episode to get somebody, anybody to wreak vengeance upon Xander hushes Spike just as he is about to make a wish. She has seen Xander's anguish and anger mirroring her own feelings when he deserted her, and realizes the futility of revenge. She has lost touch with aspects of her demon existence and is maybe rediscovering more complex human emotions. After this episode I don't think she can go back to being the Anya of old, either
the vengeance demon or the self-centered human.

Given Xander's antipathy towards Spike, how will he come to terms with the knowledge that his ex-fiancee and one of his closest friends have slept with him? If he continues to loathe Spike as an evil, soulless thing, what should he think of Buffy and Anya who slept with him and both of
whom he loves? If he is eventually able to overcome his bitterness at them, he will also have to change his attitude towards Spike.

Okay, done rambling now.

[> Spoilers above for Hell's Bells, Normal Again, Entropy (NT) -- Lonesome Sundown, 17:55:44 05/01/02 Wed


[> Nice point -- Sophist, 19:54:06 05/01/02 Wed


[> Re: Entropy as irreversibility -- Malandanza, 08:34:21 05/02/02 Thu

"Entropy (to be more accurate, the CHANGE in entropy) has another interpretation: it is a measure of the irreversibility of any process. "Things fall apart" and you can't put them back together to be exactly the way they were before. And I think some relationships and perceptions were changed forever in the episode."

Certainly this is true for Xander and Anya. Leaving Anya at the altar made it extremely unlikely that the relationship would ever work again -- but Anya's sex with Spike ended any possibility of reversibility. People can argue over whether or not Xander had a "right" to be angry with Anya, but his actions were understandable, more so than Lindsey's actions after he found out that Darla (who was never his girlfriend) had had sex with Angel. Anya/Xander is over -- it only remains to be seen what happens to Anya. Does she go back to being a vengeance demon or remain in the human world as proprietor of a magic shop (or both -- a magic shop might be a good place to meet people seeking vengeance)?

I also think Buffy/Spike is finally over. At the beginning of the episode, we see Spike confessing his eternal love for Buffy and at the end (the same day) we see him having sex with her friend. From Buffy's perspective, it is easy to see how these two events might seem mutually exclusive. Given Buffy's penchant for overidentification, I doubt she'll be angry with Anya -- she's been lost and vulnerable when a vampire "slipped in and had himself a good day." By excusing Anya, she excuses herself -- it's Spike's fault. Additionally, since Spike broke his tacit agreement with Buffy about not revealing their sexual relationship, he can no longer hold the threat of exposure over Buffy's head, which must be a great relief to Buffy (she made light of his threats at the start of the episode, but that was partly bravado, I think). Finally, Spike managed to destroy the last bits of sympathy Buffy had for him. She's been feeling sorry for poor William because he's in love and she's not -- but his deliberate attempt to hurt Xander, regardless of Buffy's feelings (I mean, the girl was standing right there!) had to have assuaged her guilty conscience. Spike could not have a more hateful time to reveal the secret -- he's lucky she didn't carry out her promise to stake him.

Buffy and Xander's friendship will, I think, not be permanently damaged by the revelation. Xander will blame Spike, not Buffy, once he's gotten over the shock.

Buffy the permanent changes in Buffy/Spike and Xander/Anya bode ill for Tara/Willow -- ME loves titles that apply to more than just the usual suspects (Epiphany is the episode I always think of in this respect -- yes, Angel had an epiphany, but so did Lindsey and Kate).

[> [> My disgust is with Xander and Buffy, not Spike or Anya. -- yez, 10:25:53 05/02/02 Thu

I disagree that "Spike broke his tacit agreement with Buffy about not revealing their sexual relationship." As you mentioned, Buffy told him she didn't care if he told -- she practically even challenged him to do it by effectively "bragging" about how loyal her friends were, IMHO. Also, Spike clearly told her in "Normal Again" that he would tell them if she didn't. To be fair, Buffy may not have had an accurate memory of that as she was in the grips of dementia... but still.

Also, I agree that "From Buffy's perspective, it is easy to see how these two events [Spike's love and him sleeping with Anya] might seem mutually exclusive," mainly because I think Buffy is a jerk and I've lost just about any sympathy I had for her. She admits to using Spike, repeatedly tells him so and tells him she doesn't have feelings of love for him, beats him to a pulp on occasions where he's expressed his feelings for her, and then she has the nerve to give a damn that he has sex with someone else? She's the queen of mixed messages, that one.

Finally, I *really* disagree that Spike is the one that needs to be held accountable for trying to deliberately hurt someone in this episode. He's supposed to not only stand there for Xander's physical violence and attempt to kill him, but also not say anything to defend himself against Xander's verbal abuse?

How convenient for Xander that Anya's sex partner was just a soulless demon and so Xander can turn his homicidal jealousy/rage loose and beat him and try to kill him and it doesn't seem to really count. Just like Buffy can beat the crap out of her lover, and it doesn't really count because he's not human.

I have to say, right now, I'm completely disgusted with both Buffy and Xander.

yez

[> [> [> Re: My disgust is with Xander and Buffy, not Spike or Anya. -- clg0107, 10:46:42 05/02/02 Thu

It's also worth keeping in mind that Spike could physically hurt Buffy if he wanted to, and he doesn't even try.

And when he goes to the Magic Box, is *he* looking for vengeance, or to inflict some sort of pain/harm on Buffy? No -- he just bloody well wants the pain to stop.

I still get all the stuff about soulless demon, yaddah, yaddah. But Spike finally letting the cat out of the bag, really only points out to me how very long he refrained from doing so. Even if you consider the weeks since Buffy broke things off, he's never lashed out at her with the intent of hurting her, and he's taken her abuse and that of her friends rather than tell her secret. Damned chivalrous, I think...then, he gave he fair warning that he wasn't going to be her dirty little secret any longer, and she, in the end, says to go ahead and tell them...

Whatever.

I am loving the show, BTW, the above rant notwithstanding.

:-)
~ clg0107

[> [> [> [> Re: My disgust is with Xander and Buffy, not Spike or Anya. -- Lilac, 10:54:56 05/02/02 Thu

I do agree that Spike held off spilling his secret remarkably well. Even when he is commiserating with Anya, he never directly lets it slip that the girl he is talking about is Buffy -- he does refer to saving Scoobies, so if Anya had really been listening to him, she should have said "what?", but she wasn't and she didn't. While I am sure that Buffy will hold his having said anything to Xander against Spike, it doesn't really seem like an unreasonable response to defend one's own value after being almost killed and derided as being less than nothing. Buffy should have stopped the tirade herself. While defending Spike would undoubtedly been beyond her, she could have at least diffused the verbal abuse.

[> [> [> [> [> Re: My disgust is with Xander and Buffy, not Spike or Anya. -- DEN, 11:49:03 05/02/02 Thu

It's interesting, isn't it, that in this final encounter of the ep it's the two "demons" who are the most "human" in their emotions and behavior, while Xander and Buffy are as self-centered--dare I say as soulless-- as any creature of the night we've met.

[> [> [> Telling secrets -- Sophist, 14:33:45 05/02/02 Thu

I think that in order to judge Spike's action in revealing the relationship, we need to know 2 things:

1. Whether he had a right to disclose it.

2. His reason for doing so.

Several of the comments above in this thread praise Spike for not "telling" earlier. I can't see that as praiseworthy. His relationship was with Buffy. Disclosing it, like all decisions in a relationship, has to be mutual. Spike was certainly right that Buffy's concealment of it was insulting to him, but his remedy is to break it off, not to tell.

I can see 3 motivations he might have had: to justify himself; to hurt Xander; to defend Anya. It's pretty hard for me to see either of the first 2 reasons as praiseworthy. He hardly needs to justify himself to Xander; that's spitting in the ocean. Hurting Xander, while certainly understandable given the provocation, is not something to encourage. While I don't know that we can ever know for certain, my view is that he said it to protect Anya. In other words, he was telling Xander that he had no basis to attack Anya for something Buffy had also done. As I pointed out below, this was what Buffy herself should have done. If this was his reason, and if Buffy herself should have made the disclosure to protect Anya, then I think Spike was right to say it.

[> [> [> [> Re: Telling secrets -- Lilac, 14:48:20 05/02/02 Thu

I think that Spike did indeed have a right to tell at that point (and even earlier, during his conversation with Anya) because Buffy had told him that if he wanted it told so much, tell it, she was sure that her friends would get over it. From that point on, I think he would have been justified telling any of them he wanted to -- although I don't think he felt that way, because he was careful not to tell Anya.

When he did tell, his motivation seemed to me to be a combination of defending himself, defending Anya, and not letting Buffy sit out the storm. Buffy's silence during Xander's attack on Spike and Anya was probably what drove the secret out at last. I think it would have taken a much more saintly person than Spike could ever aspire to be to keep quiet in the face of the viciousness of Xander's diatribe.

[> [> [> [> [> Re: Telling secrets -- Sophist, 15:03:23 05/02/02 Thu

The reason I don't see Buffy's comment as giving Spike carte blanche is that it came in reaction to his threat of blackmail (I guess that's what to call it). It wasn't really permission so much as a rejection of his attempt to force the issue.

Just so we're clear here, I think Buffy was wrong in concealing the relationship. That doesn't mean Spike could just blurt it out.

[> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Telling secrets -- Lilac, 16:32:06 05/02/02 Thu

Oh come on Sophist, was that much of a blackmail attempt -- I'll drop this garden variety vamp in your general vicinity if you don't tell? I think that Buffy had either convinced herself that her friends would forgive her just as they did her almost murderous rampage or she was trying to convince herself that would be the case, hence her willingness to let him to tell if he wants to. OR she was presuming that Spike, always up til now willing to do what she wants, would still keep the secret -- which is what he did until really sorely stressed.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Telling secrets -- Sophist, 17:19:54 05/02/02 Thu

I don't want to get hung up on the word choice. Blackmail is too strong. He was pushing, she was resisting. His may not have been a real threat, but hers was not real permission.

[> [> [> [> Re: Telling secrets -- yez, 14:50:32 05/02/02 Thu

Interesting. IMHO, while I wouldn't be surprised by Spike trying to defend Anya (and was somewhat surprised that he didn't do so more forcefully), I would be surprised if this was the primary motivation for divulging the "secret." IMHO, Spike would likely say it more out of trading an insult or defending himself -- even being macho, like he does when Riley finds them.

yez

[> [> [> [> [> Re: Telling secrets -- Sophist, 14:59:45 05/02/02 Thu

You may well be right. The reason I viewed it more sympathetically to Spike is that it came after his very empathetic time with Anya. But I certainly can't rule out your suggestion -- it's very much in character for Spike to do that.

[> [> [> [> [> [> It's his secret as much as hers... -- Forsaken, 16:12:35 05/02/02 Thu

I say it's his right to disclose the secret any time he wants. Buffy isn't his boss, despite her obvious control issues. I am disgusted with the way Bufy treats him, and the way Xander treats him. I'm also disgusted with Spike, we've clearly seen that he can hit people despite the chip, if he can stand the pain. We've seen him take Xander out with one hit before. I think he could have taken a migraine easier than he took everything he ended up getting.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: It's his secret as much as hers... -- Sophist, 17:24:57 05/02/02 Thu

I'm not going to disagree with your disgust about Xander's behavior, nor do I disagree that it was a mutual secret. My point was the one Tara made to Willow -- when there's a relationship, significant decisions have to be mutual. If the other person behaves unreasonably (and I think Buffy did just that in hiding it from her friends), then Spike was free to walk away. He should have, in fact. But none of that makes it right for him to reveal the secret (unless, as I suggest, he said it to protect Anya).

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: It's his secret as much as hers... -- Valhalla, 20:47:53 05/02/02 Thu

But Buffy has consistently denied that they did have a relationship, and she did give him permission to tell. I took her 'go ahead' statement as a mixture of bravado and a dare. Bravado because I don't believe she felt as secure with her friends/Dawn after the asylum episode as her words would otherwise imply, and a dare because, well, that's how her words sounded. It made me wonder if she didn't almost want to have him tell -- then she wouldn't have to.

Regardless of Buffy's state of mind, though, she did say to go ahead -- unless she was clearly being sarcastic, or joking, or changed her mind afterwards and made that clear to Spike, how can you construe what she said as not being permission? It's rather unfair to ask Spike to be responsible for the 'true meaning' of Buffy's words -- it's Buffy who should be responsible for them. Buffy hasn't been clear on what she wants for herself all season (which Spike has been the main victim of), but it's not right to hold Spike responsible for that. I'm not saying Spike should have told because she deserved it in any sort of punishment sense, just that Buffy should know that words have power and she can't just throw them out there and not expect consequences.

The other thing (maybe someone's already brought this up - I may have missed it) is that while Spike may have chosen a better moment to tell people, his motivation for letting Buffy's friends isn't entirely self-serving. In Normal Again, he gives her the ultimatum partly because he believes it will get her out of the rut she's been in all season. Yes, people in relationships should make significant decisions together. But it's not so clear cut when one person in a relationship is making a choice that the other person thinks is really bad for them.

I really didn't mean to go on so when I started this, but now I may as well keep going -- on the issue of whether Spike had permission to tell -- Buffy was acting unilaterally when she told Spike he could never tell anyone (she threatened to kill him, in fact, if he did). She didn't consult with him on the decision, they didn't talk it over, she made the decision for both of them and then backed it up with a clear threat of force. Even if you think her permission to Spike to tell was less than perfect, it was clearly under less duress than her ban on telling.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: It's his secret as much as hers... -- Malandanza, 23:40:42 05/02/02 Thu

"I took her 'go ahead' statement as a mixture of bravado and a dare. Bravado because I don't believe she felt as secure with her friends/Dawn after the asylum episode as her words would otherwise imply, and a dare because, well, that's how her words sounded. It made me wonder if she didn't almost want to have him tell -- then she wouldn't have to."

I certainly agree that her statement was partly bravado (perhaps even mostly). Part of it was also realizing that he had no power over her and calling his bluff. The threat that he would tell her friends has given Spike power over Buffy. But it is only the threat that is power -- if he tells, it hurts her once and then he loses that power.

My feeling is that Spike made a mistake -- had he been thinking clearly, he would have kept the secret. By telling he has lost whatever hold he had on Buffy, and by telling it under those circumstances, he has made himself a very unsympathetic figure, giving Buffy every reason to cut him entirely out of her life. He doesn't even deserve her pity now.

So why did he tell? Not to defend Anya. The things Xander said to him recalled almost exactly the things Buffy had said to him. He was in pain and wanted to strike back -- and did so without thinking through the consequences. It was an incredibly stupid thing to do, but also typically impulsive Spike behavior.

I'm glad he told. No more blackmail, no more secrets to torment Buffy, no more dragging Buffy into darkness. Buffy looked happy this episode when she interacted with Dawn and I hope we see more of that in the future. It's what Buffy needs -- and a great deal more satisfying for her than guilty, abusive sex with a pathetic creature she loathes.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> She hates the truth and is still in darkness -- Anne, 03:39:27 05/03/02 Fri

Buffy is still not anywhere close to getting out of the dark because it's still inside her -- has nothing to do with Spike except how she has abused him and how she has lied, and continued to lie, about it. What Buffy needs to do to get out of the darkness is something she has so far never done: tell the truth about Spike to anybody, Tara, herself, Spike, anybody.

Not only has she been a liar in not wanting to tell her friends that she slept with him, she has not acknowledged that her treatment of him was not just sexual use, but abuse of all kinds: physical, verbal, and emotional. She has not acknowledged that horrendous beating to anybody. She has not acknowledged that in her relationship with Spike, she was as much or more of a monster than him. This abuse, other than the physical, has continued unabated, with the one exception of the conversation in Hell's Bell's, since she broke up with him.

Yeay, okay, as usual Spike told the truth, the truth nobody wanted to hear. And Buffy looked at him with an expression, to use the phrase from a shooting script that has been kicking around the boards, "ripe with hatred". She still hates the truth; she's still in the dark; she has learned nothing and as far as I'm concerned is going nowhere.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Yes, she's reached bottom but hasn't started the journey back... -- Caroline, 07:28:54 05/03/02 Fri


[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Maybe there is more to Buffy resisting Spike -- Ahira, 07:32:00 05/03/02 Fri

Thought just kinda popped into my head. Here we have Spike. Often referred to as evil, bad, soulless and chipped, Spike is basically still the demon he always was with a limitation on hurting humans. Through all this and for quite a while, he has worked very hard on telling Buffy he loves her and has done many things to try and prove it (at least as far as he sees it) plus been of help to the scoobies in general. Revelation comes, Spike can now hurt the returned Buffy. As far as the slayer is concerned, he has no limitations any more to hold him back. What has he done? Continued to want her in his life for more than just sex.

Buffy knows he can hurt her, she has no special protection from him anymore. She has seen no change in him at all. He still does all the same things in trying to win her heart. There is the possibility that the other members of the group could revenge her if he did something, but I don't think he is too worried about them. Willow and Tara are the only ones he would really need to fear, and only if they saw him coming. This experience can be very hard for Buffy, as it would throw a lot of things in question. Are even vampires simply evil?

I don't necessarily feel that these thoughts have run through her mind, even subconsciously, but an even bigger dilemma can be considered. Angel, vampire with a soul, her first and greatest love. Something she felt was true and real. Then, Angel loses his soul and immmediately sets about hurting her in very deep and personal ways for his own enjoyment. As things stand right now, is there any real difference between Spike, chip not working where Buffy is concerned, and Angel without his soul? I would say no, both are/were completely free to be true to vampire nature where she is concerned. Spike hasn't, Angel did. Could there be rumblings in the back of her mind? Is it possible that she is questioning the nature and depth of the love shared with Angel?

How could one not be shaken deeply at even the possibility of something you know to be true coming into doubt. Does she look at Spike with the full knowledge that he can be fully evil and free to indulge it where she is concerned, but hasn't. Then, have to remember that Angel had no problems reverting to full demon when his limitation was removed.

As I said, just a thought.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Good observation. -- yez, 09:49:07 05/03/02 Fri

I would love it if ME had her talk about that fear/concern as it would help her behavior with Spike this season seem complex and interesting instead of just simple-minded, self- pitying and mean, which is the way it's seemed to me.

yez

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Maybe there is more to Buffy resisting Spike -- shadowkat, 08:10:47 05/05/02 Sun

I have always thought that the Angel thing is her biggest problem with Spike. I think Spike must realize that as well, since a) he was there when Angel turned and knows intimately what Angel did to her and b) he brought it up to torment her in Harsh Light of Day and to some degree in
Into the Woods and Wrecked. But he probably veers away from it due to the fact that the Angel topic is as painful for him as it is for her.

Angel is actually the biggest problem for everyone, characters, writers and audience. The problem is enough to make me wish they hadn't done what they did with Angel and sometimes I wonder if they don't wish the same thing. It's caused them a consistency nightmare that I've enjoyed watching them attempt to write around for the last five years. They've done a brillant job btw. Buffy and the gang
can never trust Spike outside of his feelings for Buffy
because of Angelus. Soulless Vampires are evil, Angelus proved that to them. What ME's view on this is...well, I'm not sure...I change my mind daily. Spike is in some ways more fascinating to me than Angel - b/c he's a vampire who has no soul and is in complete conflict with his nature and I must say there's a bit of the extentialist in me ;-).
He must be an endless source of confusion to Buffy - I don't think she's ever understood him or her attraction to him. I don't think she can. He on the other hand understands her better than he understands himself. I don't think he gets himself at all. Personally I think ME has written themselves into a corner with Spike regarding the whole soul/evil thesis. Can't wait to see how they get out of it.

As for B/S relationship? I don't see any hope unless they do something major characterwise with Spike that would allow her to trust him outside of herself. And not be in conflict with her feelings for Angel.

That said - I often wonder how she's dealt with the fact that of the vampires she's been involved with, he's the only one who has not bitten her and he could. Also how has she dealt with the fact that soulless - he continues to try to help her save her friends and family while Angelus wanted to kill them. Even without the chip - he never really
tried to kill them. He had ample opportunity with Joyce in Lover's Walk and could have done it in HLOD (instead he made a bee line for Buffy) -
heck, it wasn't until after Crush that Buffy thought to disinvite him. He only tries to hurt Willow in the Initative b/c Buffy wasn't there. I never got the feeling
he was going to kill Willow and Xander in Lover's Walk...but that could just be me ...at any rate, at this point, I'm as confused about whether we should trust Spike as Buffy is. Maybe that's intentional?

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Maybe there is more to Buffy resisting Spike -- LittleBIt, 09:01:15 05/05/02 Sun

I have thought that Buffy can not allow herself to even think that Spike could love her, let alone does, because that would entirely negate all of the assumptions of Angel/Angelus: that he was able to love her because of the soul, but when the soul was gone the ability was gone.

If she so much as gives Spike the benefit of any doubt, she has to admit that the undying, pure, Love of a Lifetime that she had with Angel may not have been what she believed.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Maybe there is more to Buffy resisting Spike -- SpikeMom, 18:46:31 05/05/02 Sun

Here goes my first big dos centavos worth.
By my online name you can see I am definately in Spike's rooting section. My ultimate hope is that Spike somehow ends up as Buffy's Watcher ala the Restless episode (Xander's dream). I think think he is well able to love Buffy without the human soul. So far in this Buffyverse the soul seems to stand for conscience and choice more than anything else: what you choose to do with the emotions you have. I think that Angelus made a choice to reject the love he had for Buffy (fountain scene at end of IOHEFY) and the concept of real love in general. He definately felt it, he just didn't want it. So, yes I think Spike's love for Buffy is the real thing. That said ... here's my big dread ... remember in the Angelus story arc where Spike is trying to hurry up the Buffy killing already? Angelus tells Spike that you can only kill this Slayer by loving her. YIKES. So has the killer of two Slayers been applying the lesson learned at the feet of the master tormentor? Gosh I hope not! He did say the only thing better than killing a Slayer is ... well, you know. I'm hoping Spike's love is the real thing. If it's just a ruse, it's an incredibly elaborate one with many missed opportunities for a simple, surprise Slayer slaying.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Maybe there is more to Buffy resisting Spike -- alcibiades, 21:00:33 05/05/02 Sun

I don't think you have to worry about it. As you said, that is what Angelus told Spike. Angelus never killed any Slayers. If he had, that would have been his perfered modus operandi --first love them, then torture them, then once they are weak, kill them.

Spike, OTOH, has killed Slayers and he never needed any fancy psychological tricks, just regular battle lust to do the job. Buffy of course is a harder case. But in fact, in AYW, when Buffy tells him that their "this" is killing her, Spike backs off immediately. He patently doesn't want her dead. And he only begins importuning her again once it is clear to him that it is not the "this" that is killing her, but her lack of honesty viz. her friends about their relationship, the secrecy, the lies, the shame and the lack of respect she gives to her former lover.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: the lack of respect issue -- SpikeMom, 22:29:12 05/05/02 Sun

Thanks so much for the reply and the reassurance. As I said it's just been a little voice in the back of my head about how to kill this Slayer. Plus the constant repetition of the trust theme.
As far as the respect issue goes I think it ties in with the ongoing discussion as to whether or not Spike had the right to reveal the relationship. I think Spike is tired of waiting around for Buffy to show him some respect and has finally decided to stand up and show himself some well- deserved respect. Bravo Spike! And honestly, Buffy, if you don't want people you love and respect to know the choices you've made, maybe you shouldn't be making them?
I brought up this idea in an earlier post but I think it got buried in all the discussion over who had the right to decide when to tell. I am amazingly new at this and am not real sure where and when to post but the folks on this board seem to be the patience sort.
I read all the posts and enjoy the thoughtful, civilized discussion. Looking forward to more.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Postscript regarding Angel and dead Slayers -- SpikeMom, 22:57:33 05/05/02 Sun

In Fool For Love, when Dru announces that Spike has killed his first Slayer, a very subdued Angel/Angelus replies "I guess that makes you one of us now". Does that mean the other three have indeed killed at least one Slayer apiece? When Dru kills Kendra, Spike says "Dru bagged herself a Slayer? Good for her!" not that she got her first. So I don't think we can positively rule out Angelus/Angel from membership in the Got A Slayer Club.
Perhaps you or another board member can answer a time-line question for me. I have not seen AtS seasons 1 and 2. I know from various sources that Angel stayed with Darla, and I presume Dru and Spike, for a period of time after he regained his soul. I know he parted ways with Darla in Asia somewhere (Last time I saw you it was kimonos). Was it Angel or Angleus in the Boxer Rebellion scene responding to Spike's Slayer coup? He certainly didn't seem happy about the dead Slayer although that could have been because he was more concerned with keeping Spike in his place and/or getting out of the explosive situation all around them. Any thoughts?

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Postscript regarding Angel and dead Slayers -- Miss Edith, 23:36:18 05/05/02 Sun

Angel had his soul during the Boxer Rebellion. In the first series of Buffy Darla comments on Angel having been a "bad boy" during the boxer rebellion. In the Buffy episdoe Fool For Love it is implied that Angel was souless as he is hanging with the gang and congratulates Spike on killing a slayer. But in the following Angel episode Darla it is revealed that Angel did have a soul at that time. He was lonely and trying to ignore his conscience in order to fit in with Darla and the gang. He made value judgements regarding his victims and only killed thieves and murderers in order to appease his conscience, hence his gloomy look at Spike having killed a slayer. He ends up protecting an innocent family and when Darla finds out she rejects him again. And of course he is eventually set on the right path about 100 years later by Whistler. Hope that helped.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Postscript regarding Angel and dead Slayers -- SpikeMom, 23:50:20 05/05/02 Sun

Thanks Miss Edith, For a blindfolded doll you've seen things quite clearly :)!

I am anxious for the first two seasons of Angel to arrive on DVD. I have all of Buffy either DVD or taped. Then it will be easier to put the timeline in order. Speaking of which...has anyone created a coherent timeline for both shows? Perhaps including the books?

And should we start a new thread, this one's falling off the margin of the main message index!?

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Postscript regarding Angel and dead Slayers -- Miss Edith, 00:13:57 05/06/02 Mon

The Angel DVDs are out in the UK. Why not get a multi-region DVD player so you can watch them? Or if you already have a DVD player for Region 1 only there are ways of getting it to play all regions. Check the net for tips.
Mind you the DVDs for Angel aren't that special. They only have two commentries on each season and a severe lack of documentries. The Buffy ones are worth getting though. Season 4 is out next week and it will have 6 commentries including Joss's commentries on Hush and Restless. And there'll be a special documentry on Introducing Spike among others! I'd say they're worth making the extra effort and getting early although UK prices are pretty horrendus. There's a reason why we're known in Europe as rip-off Britain sadly.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Postscript regarding Angel and dead Slayers -- Slayrunt, 00:58:23 05/06/02 Mon

Masq has a timeline on her sight or at least did the last time I looked.

About killing Slayers, only Spike has certainly killed one. Perhaps Luke killed at least one, but no definates about Angelus, Darla or Dru.

Slayrunt

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: She hates the truth and is still in darkness -- shadowkat, 19:04:09 05/04/02 Sat

Buffy has always had trouble with "truth" or sharing it with people. Part of that could be due to the whole secret identity thing - which plagues her. She has to keep what she is a secret. When she was in high school she had to lie to her parents, teachers, and other students about what she did and who she was. How do you handle that? She has learned not to show what she feels on her face, how to be hard on the outside, but inside she's a marshmallow. As a result she often comes across as a cruel bitch. Hiding her pain with a well placed quip.

Angel was one of the few people who broke through that shell and when she let him in - look what happened? 1)He
turned evil and she had to send him to hell 2) when he came back, he left her. Xander is right, after that she did shut down. She also was told by Giles that she had to resume her secret identity.

Her relationship with Spike is incredibly complex. I find myself defending both of them all the time. Spike, as strong as he may appear on the outside emotionally, is also a marshmallow. Buffy and Spike are incredibly alike in some ways, part of the reason for their attraction. He has to some degree allowed her to abuse him - part of the reason for that is - he's a vampire and that is part of his nature,
the other reason is he may truly believe he is deserving of it...personally I believe she is about to drive him to a nervous breakdown which he has been teetering on the edge of for quite some time. You are correct - it's the emotional
abuse, not the physical, that is the hardest to tolerate.
But it goes both ways - it always has. These two know how to hurt one another. He has emotionally abused her - with his you belong with me in the darkness and not with your friends comments, she does it with I don't love you, you're evil, nasty thing that I hate and am just using remarks. Which remarks are the most harmful? I don't know. Which character is headed for the nervous breakdown? Spike. Because he really has nothing outside of Buffy...well maybe Clem. He's been stripped of everything and he has tried to change himself to be accepted by her. Buffy hasn't really done much of anything. Spike has done all the work and received very little appreciation for it from anyone. In re-watching the old episodes from this year- I find the comments about Spike being evil - laughably ironic particularly since they are constantly being paralled with
the Trioka who no one appears to be taking very seriously.
(that's another essay in of itself).

At any rate...before I go careening off topic...I agree she
has a great deal to answer to. But at the same time, before we judge her too harshly we need to think about where she's coming from. As she put it way back in School HArd to Cordy: "I'm balancing three lives here and none of them fit together, it's like oil, water, and uh..something." That
is Buffy's life. Spike is part of her oil life, her friends
have become the water, and the bills/work/dawn is the something. And she has no one supporting her...mom's dead,
giles is gone. Xander and Willow - well....let's just say,
they aren't exactly doing much better themselves.

I think Spike gets all this. His problem is he's not exactly
sane himself. He's a vampire who has been chipped, can't feed, and is in love with a vampire slayer. He doesn't fit
in any world, the perpetual outsider. What has been keeping
him going is some hope that Buffy will return his affections...when that is gone, what will he do?

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Extremely well said, thank you kat for expressing this -- Etrangere, 05:51:51 05/05/02 Sun


[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Partly an acting problem -- Anne, 07:01:08 05/05/02 Sun

I imagine you're right that Buffy is meant to be a marshmallow-inside type, and if I were able to buy the performance I'm seeing on screen that way I might have less trouble with the character. But I don't, and didn't even really in earlier seasons.

SMG is very good at certain things -- notably scenes which require her to break down into tears, or express righteous anger. But by and large showing vulnerability, passion, compassion, or warmth, is not her speciality -- I didn't even really buy into it in her scenes with Angel, whom she's supposed to love so deeply. The one exception is Becoming II, which made even me tear up.

Whether or not you see warmth and softness in Buffy in the earlier seasons, however, season 6 is much more difficult in that it is requiring two extraordinarily difficult things from SMG: to play a character who is deeply conflicted, and who therefore has to frequently be conveying two opposite and contradictory emotions; and at the same time to play a character who is going through a special crisis of being out of touch with her own emotions, so she has to appear "dead" and yet convey some type of feeling both at the same time.

Unfortunately, the outcome for me is that the emotions are not coming out conflicted but univalent; and the only valency that has been visible to me with regard to Spike is hatred and contempt. This, of course, makes her sexual use of him even more distasteful. In the crypt door scene, the shooting script called for Buffy to express the same longing and desire as Spike; I personally thought she just looked like she thought she heard a mouse on the other side of the door. The shooting script for "Entropy" called for her to show a reaction of pain in seeing Spike with Anya sufficient to convey to Dawn and Willow that she had slept with him; I just saw a blank. The couple of times she's said she's sorry to Spike, she's done it with her patented Great Stone Face and I don't get the impression she feels any compassion for him at all -- just impatience and distaste at having to deal with the whole sorry mess.

I guess, in sum, if I saw that she was at least wrestling with the truth more I'd be able to bear with her better with regard to the trouble she's having facing it. That's why I just loved the last scene in "Dead Things", and why I feel so betrayed by the show that that scene was never followed up on. Even though I think she wound up concealing the truth in that scene she emphatically was wrestling with it. And I think the fact that she begged not to be forgiven may have had something to do with the fact that she knew she hadn't come clean. I loved that; I loved her then. But they have just dropped it and look like they'll never pick it up again. If they do; hey great.

Sorry -- I've wandered all over here; veered from acting to writing. But I've got to run off right now and can't make more sense of this post at the moment.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Partly an acting problem -- shadowkat, 07:45:23 05/05/02 Sun

I too have struggled with the way SMG has been portraying Buffy this year - having seen her in other things...I agree
with you. Part of the problem of course - is that we have a hugely re-active actor in JM. It's different acting styles.

Her acting style is to convey limited emotion - sort of stoic, lots of actors who started in television and film are like this (yes - in another life I briefly studied acting), she pulls back. Trusts the camera to pick it up. JM's style - coming from the world of theatre this really makes sense - is to let the emotion show. He has pulled back a bit since he first appeared...but he is a reactive actor, similar to Harrison Ford, and some of the other great reactors - Deniro, Hoffman, Carrey come to mind. He knows how to show emotion with a curve of a lip, a tightened jaw, or teary eyes. SMG's style is to be very subtle, contained. But I do sense pain and vulnerability and at times she is right on - Normal Again was probably her best performance to date. But it also provided her with material to show stone face and emotion.

The problem with her style and the character she is playing, is that we the audience can't tell any more than the other characters can what she is feeling. Also she is surrounded by some amazing reactive actors who aren't as overworked as she is, so have more time to refine the craft - Alyson Hannigan and James Marsters both come to mind. But - here's another thing to remember about acting - of the characters in the show, Marsters has been given the best material. He also gets to show emotion. He doesn't have to be broody or stoney faced or repressed. For an actor who specializes in letting it all hang out - it must be a dream come true. Don't get me wrong - he is amazing. But I think he'd be the first to point out that SMG has a tougher role to play here.

Switch to writing: I agree - I too felt betrayed by the writers after Dead Things. Just as I felt betrayed after
Wrecked. There is a little too ambiguity in the writing this year - which is fine, but as old creative writing teacher once informed me - you have to clue the reader/audience in at some point. We know Spike loves Buffy, but we really have no clue what she feels for Spike. We are also a bit confused as to whether Spike is supposed to be a villain or a good guy, which actually I like, but I am getting tired of changing my mind on this issue on a daily basis. (This week I decided he was always painted as villain but one who fell for the hero, last week I thought maybe not, next week I'll probably chang my mind again...it's why I keep writing essays about him - I can't figure him out - LOL!)
The writers insist that Buffy's emotions are supposed to be confused and all over the board and that's great. But - I'm not really getting that from the actress' portrayle so much as from the metaphors and writing. I keep wishing they'd give her more dialogue or show us a scene with her crying in bed or dreaming or something. Instead of all these scenes of her telling people: "I'm good." Because like you I do at times feel as if I'm trying to see something that may or may not be there. And that may be more faulty direction and or writing than acting. Don't know.

I'm hoping the next group of episodes break things wide open and show us exactly what she is feeling. And everyone else. As much as I adore Season 6 - and I truly do, first season truly got obsessed with the show, I miss being in our supporting characters point of view. Until Entropy, we really haven't been.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Mostly agree but . . . -- Anne, 10:42:47 05/05/02 Sun

The main thing I disagree with here is with regard to JM's acting, but I have the feeling I'm not going to be able to express it very well. But to give it my best shot:

Yes, in Season 2 he was using a big scale, and in fact I found him too stagey at that point for that very reason. But by now I think the amazing thing about him is that he is extremely subtle in his use of facial expression, but nevertheless as you say gives the impression of letting it all hang out. In other words he is expressing perfectly huge emotions with perfectly tiny gestures. He does more with less than practically any other actor I can think of.

Please, watch the last scene of "Intervention" for me and tell me what was overt about what he did! The reason I fell in love with the character, the actor, and the show in that scene was that I couldn't figure out what the heck he was doing to reach into my heart and tear it apart. I couldn't even see his face under all that makeup.

As for the "stoic" style of acting: if you're a really great actor, like the late great Alec Guinness, this consists in using an almost completely impassive face but still, as you say, stepping back and letting the camera pick up what's there in your eyes, tiny things about the set of your facial muscles, whatever. The problem is that the vast, vast majority of actors -- even pretty good ones -- simply don't have that ability. All they are really doing is holding their faces still, and trusing a sympathetic audience to project the appropriate emotion inside them, while crediting them with the courage and strength of an admirable stoicism. It works most of the time, as long as the script is giving the audience clear cues as to what the supposedly hidden emotions are, and as long as the technique is not overused.

Now to me personally (I'm sure there are people out there who disagree with me, but this is one of those things that it's hard to absolutely prove one way or another) SMG does not fall into the Alec Guinness class of actor. As best as I can see she's just holding her face still, plain and simple. And I think it's a technique that she overuses, that she uses to cover far to wide a spectrum of emotions. That's not to say that she hasn't turned in good performances. I have already praised her work in "Dead Things", and I agree with you about "Normal Again", though again I have to say that the aggressive and maniacal elements came through to me a bit more powerfully than the vulnerability.

But we're certainly agreed that SMG is being given an awfully tough row to hoe this season. I admire them for trying to do something so difficult, but I'm afraid somewhere along the line something isn't quite working for the character of Buffy.

But maybe I'll change my mind after episode 22. I don't think so from the spoilers, but boy would I love to.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Actually... I agree with you on JM. -- shadowkat, 09:33:52 05/06/02 Mon

You are absolutely right on James Marsters. His acting ability has improved big time since the first season, but even then I thought he was amazing. And yes - he does the same thing to me everytime he appears on screen. I find it interesting that so many people believe the show has turned into the Spike show, when in reality Marsters has less screen time on average than most of the characters - the reason he is so magnetic, you remember his performance.
Alyson Hannigan comes closest to this nuanced performance.

SMG is good, but limited. Stoic hero roles are close to impossible to play. The best actors - Guinness, John Wayne,Clint Eastwood, Laurence Olivier...they knew how to do it and some of them - the better two Guinness and Olivier
started on the stage. I agree with Marsters - the best way to get experience is the stage - it is the actor's arena.
I think SMG and some of the others missed out on that...and it's showing in what they are being asked to do now. But I give them kudos - they still are better than most of the other young actors on TV and movies for that matter.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Agree on the acting: SMG/writers/directors not quite pulling off the subtleties required. -- yez, 14:20:15 05/06/02 Mon


[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Echoing Etrangere, brilliantly said, shadowkat. -- Ixchel, 17:51:36 05/05/02 Sun

Buffy's avoidance of the truth is evident throughout the series, as is her fear of abandonment.

One aspect of Normal Again I really thought was genius was her mention of the clinic. I find it can be integrated believably into the rest of the story and explains a great deal about Buffy.

She learned an incredibly harsh lesson (not that her parents were intentionally cruel), if you tell people disturbing truths (about the world, yourself), they will turn away from you, withdraw love and/or abandon you. If you conform to their idea of reality, you can maintain their love.

I think part of her deep bond with Willow and Xander beginning in S1 is that they accepted the truth of their world and did not reject her. As an aside, I think that she reciprocated by "seeing" Willow, acknowledging her as someone of worth (something Willow's parents persumably didn't) and "knowing" Xander, permitting him to be something better than his family (something his family didn't allow).

Spike's isolation is disturbing. As much as Buffy is isolated (even surrounded by friends, she has been deeply so this season), Spike is more so.

Ixchel

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Spike's isolation -- verdantheart, 07:50:53 05/06/02 Mon

Yes, I've found it interesting that much has been made of Buffy's isolation, while little made of Spike's. Remember, he started out the season really as part of the gang. They were actually talking and joking with him. Buffy appears and poof! Persona non grata. It started the first night with Xander (who else?). Spike hasn't complained at all about this, but we know it hurt. Buffy re-isolated Spike. Spike certainly tried to separate Buffy from her friends, but really, he has no power to do so. He merely picked up on her feelings and expressed them back to her. She can only isolate herself.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Spike's isolation -- Ixchel, 13:54:43 05/06/02 Mon

I think Spike believed that he was part of the group (at least somewhat) and then he realized in AL that he wasn't (his p.o.v., Giles wasn't told about Buffy either, but probably Spike didn't know that). He starts to retreat after that (staying outside at the end of AL), because he doesn't feel he belongs (and I think he wants to, even if he would never admit it). Then, to his surprise, Buffy wants to retreat from her friends too (AL, Flooded). The strain of pretending to be OK so they won't worry makes Buffy want the relative tranquility (at first) of being with Spike. This further isolates him from the group. The only person capable of noticing and understanding his isolation, Dawn, is in pain herself and can't help anyone. It's all so very sad.

Ixchel

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> A quibble -- Malandanza, 07:59:13 05/07/02 Tue

"Buffy re-isolated Spike."

This is just a quibble, but I think that Buffy's resurrection re-isolated Spike. Buffy's actions have tended to include rather than exclude Spike. After Crush, Buffy's friends unanimously ostracized Spike - until Buffy brought him back into the group. Likewise, Buffy's choice to spend so much of her free time with Spike from Afterlife through OMWF made Spike feel like part of the Scoobies again -- even in OaFA, he expresses a desire to be part of the group and Buffy allows him to be so (she could have tossed him out had she wished to exclude him).

Asd both you and Ixchel mention, it is the Scoobies who hung out with Spike during the summer, then forgot about him the instant Buffy was back. But then, they've never been Spike's friends, they are Buffy's friends. If Spike has been isolated, blame Willow and Xander rather than Buffy.

However, I think that Spike is primarily responsible for Spike's isolation. He might have a few more vamp and demon friends if he hadn't spent so much of his time hunting his peers for pleasure.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> The theme of the outsider -- shadowkat, 09:45:59 05/06/02 Mon

Since Season 1 - JW has been obsessed with the outsider
theme. First we have Angel - who is the outsider. He doesn't fit in the vampire world any longer - nor does he fit in Buffy's, he stays outside. It's not until he loses his soul - that he renters the vampire world and actually is less outsider. You could argue that before that he was part of the gang - accepted, certainly more than Spike, but
he still is outside - being older, etc.

Other outsiders - Jonathan - from day one, and remphasized bit time in the controversial EARSHOT (funny if Earshot
got controversary, wonder what WB would have don with Seeing Red? Haven't seen it yet - please don't say anything.) Others - Marcy in Out of Sight, Out of Mind,
the young student in love with the teacher in I only
have eyes for you? Now we have the evil Troika - which many ways were created by the highschool students who ostracized them.

Spike seems to be a similar construction. Isolated. Neither in one world or the other - struggling to recreat a reality that somehow combines both and at the center, he has been placing his love for Buffy, possibly trying to get her to create a separate reality with him? Since in his eyes she doesn't appear to fit in either reality either?

I agree his story is a disturbing one. I keep hoping it will get better soon, but from what I've seen of spoilers, I've serious doubts.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> They are all the Outsider, the Other, all of the Scoobies -- Etrangere, 10:12:48 05/06/02 Mon

Buffy, by being the Slayer she became one, that was her first choice in WttH : fit in the crowd that Cordelia was standing for or saving Willow
And that's what her nostalgia for normality is about : becoming anew a part of everyone's world.
The theme of the Slayer and her loneliness is featured very prominently in Tales of the Slayer (esp Fury's one, Glittering world) which begins with the world "i am alone" and ends with "i am not alone".

Willow is always the one standing for the minorities, the jews, the witches, the indians, the lesbians, the intellectuals etc. She's always the one defending and having pity (with some exceptions:) for the outsider.

Xander, if he is the most "normal" member of the Scooby, is still the nerd, as Johnathan and the Trio is, and the Bully / Bullied theme is an important thing in his story, from the Pack to Hell's Bells, he's always struggling to defend the Bullied as he is one of them, and always end becoming one of the Bully while struggling to find acceptation for himself.

Giles is a legal alien in Sunnydale :) he is the adult among the children, and we saw from his interractions with Snyder he didn't really fit a lot in the Sunnydale High School either. Also his past history then his interraction with the CoW shows how much he can be the different one too.

There is a lot to be said about this theme in Buffy, yes :)

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Well said, Etrangere and LittleBit. I couldn't agree more. -- Ixchel, 14:01:37 05/06/02 Mon


[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: The theme of the outsider -- LittleBIt, 10:17:44 05/06/02 Mon

Actually the core characters of the show started as outsiders. Buffy - the Slayer who has to keep her identity secret. Willow - the 'brain' who is actively made fun of and snubbed by the 'in' crowd. Xander - the 'loser' who doesn't really fit in anywhere. Giles - the Watcher who doesn't get respect from the WC, nor does he really fit in at the school.

It's only when this core comes together that each ceases to be an outsider because the others give them the sense of belonging they need.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Don't forget Faith! -- warped, 16:10:15 05/06/02 Mon

It's ironic that the Mayor called Buffy and co. the "in group" when he talked to Faith about them. While the scoobies were outcasts in high school, Faith was an outcast among them.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> guilty, abusive sex with a pathetic creature she loathes. -I THINK SHE LOVES THE SEX -- Spike Lover, 14:50:59 05/03/02 Fri


[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Parallels -- Sophist, 09:37:13 05/03/02 Fri

I agree that she reacted with bravado. The reason I don't see it as "real" permission is that it came in response to a threat to disclose. I saw her response as a way of saying "You don't have power over me; don't try to intimidate me." I don't deny the literal words, but I think the context overrides it. Ultimately, remember, I'm not blaming Spike for revealing it, based on my own (minority) view of his motives at the time.

Buffy did make threats of her own about Spike revealing it. She was wrong to do that. But it was, nevertheless, her right to disclose it on her own terms. It's an interesting parallel to Cordy/Xander in S2. Cordy insisted on the secret, although it was demeaning to Xander to do so (and she expressly said as much). Xander pushed to disclose it, but he never did. If he had, instead of being found out accidentally, what do you think Cordy would have done?

Remember also that Willow kept her relationship with Tara a secret for a long time. Tara was understanding enough, or insecure enough, that she let Willow disclose it on her own terms.

Given these parallels, the fact that Buffy was belligerent about keeping the secret is wrong, but it doesn't affect her right to choose the time of disclosure.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Parallels - a slight twist -- Valhalla, 19:52:40 05/03/02 Fri

I was thinking about this thread today and suddenly came to a clearer understanding of what I was trying to say. (very slow sometimes).

You're right that Buffy's words weren't real permission (they were under at least slight duress) and the fact that her ban on his telling was backed up with a threat of destruction doesn't mean that he was justified in telling.

The bigger thing is that this is a situation where Spike and Buffy have equal rights. The question is perhaps not so much whether Spike had Buffy's permission but whether he needed it. I think the starting point is that he has the same right to tell as she has to keep it secret. And next is, what do you do when two individuals have equal but conflicting rights?

Was not telling hurting him more than telling would hurt her? Actually, not telling seemed to be hurting Buffy. Normally, I'd say even if it was hurting her, she's the one that gets to assess the relative damages of telling/not telling to herself. But not telling was definitely hurting him - it was damaging both to his sense of himself, his self- confidence, etc., and it hurt him to see her hurting. ("They'd either understand and help you, god forbid ... or drive you out ... where you can finally be at peace, in the dark. With me. Either way, you'd be better off for it, but you're too twisted for that. (pauses) Let yourself live, already. And stop with the bloody hero trip for a sec. We'd all be the better for it.") In a hurt-based scale, Spike comes out at least a little ahead because he wanted to tell for both of them, but Buffy was wanting not to tell just for herself. Buffy's exploitation and abuse of Spike doesn't justify him telling, either (in itself), but the fact that she's treated him badly tips the scale a little more on his side, as does the fact that he's had many opportunities to really hurt her and he hasn't. If Spike had revealed their relationship simply to hurt Buffy or out of revenge for being dumped, I'd give the edge to Buffy.


Of course, there's lots of other ways to look at this, if they do start out with equal rights to tell/not tell. You pointed out earlier that people in relationships need to make a mutual decision when significant issues come up or walk away (hope that's a correct paraphrase). Spike tried several times to get Buffy to talk about it, but she wouldn't. She stood in the way not only of a mutual decision, but of even a discussion about the issue. It doesn't seem quite fair to say that his only just option is to just walk away. Buffy may want to deny that they had sex, but they did. In doing so she accepted the risk that Spike might tell, or do other things she didn't like.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Parallels - a slight twist -- alcibiades, 08:25:49 05/04/02 Sat

Agree with what you say.

The other thing that must get weighed in the balance is that Spike stops Xander's abuse of Anya effectively. Buffy not telling in this instance was not only hurting herself and Spike, but it was a way to stop Anya from further abuse.

Buffy should have been the one to tell but she was too busy feeling ashamed of herself for exactly the reasons that Xander was stating and perhaps as well for not having the courage to speak in that moment.

Spike frees them all up.

The shooting script specifies that Buffy looks back at Spike a few moments later with hatred. Surely some of that hatred is the result of the fact that Buffy had not stepped up to the plate to help Anya -- as she should have done.

Can't have a martyr complex if you are not being a saint.

In point of fact (an idiom with a new resonance ever since AYW), there is a brief dialogue between Spike and Xander in NA on the way to find the Glarghk Guhl Kashma'nik demon. Spike has realized that in Buffy's delusion, the point of the chip was to soften him up solely in order to fall in love with her. He points out to Xander that in a different reality, he might not have left Anya at the alter. What Spike is really saying to Xander with that remark is that in a Buffy centric universe, Buffy's retainers stay with her because of their weaknesses. To get Xander to stay with her, Buffy had to create a weakness in him -- and thus he rejected Anya. Because a married Xander would be a Xander who moved away from her.

Now apply this scenario to the final scene with S/A/B/X in Entropy. I think Spike's astute observation applies here as well. In this scene, Buffy is keeping Xander weak, allowing him to be abusive to Anya in front of her face, as a way to keep him from turning away from her, too, in disgust. This is Buffy's addiction to the misery resurfacing. She's indulging her feeling of shame both at sleeping with Spike and at not stopping Xander from ragging on Anya in front of her face at the cost of doing the right thing. Surely it's nothing to feel happy about. Nor will she ever feel happy if she continues to act this way.

Her weakness here, too, confirms that her earlier remarks to Spike taunting him to tell about them because her friends won't mind was pure, unkind bravado to get herself off the hook and to make him feel bad. She was lying because it is her great anxiety at how much Xander will mind that is stilling her mouth now.

In Season 4, the Freshman, (good) Xander says: Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger... no wait...

The hatred Buffy darts at Spike at the end of Entropy is entirely based on fear and the anger, at herself and at him, born from it. Buffy has let fear entirely control her relationship with Spike since Smashed.

As the first Slayer Guide told her in Intervention, the Slayer forges strength from pain. Not I might add, from being ruled by fear. Buffy is not only weakening her friends, but is weakening herself.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> I agree with your analysis but not your conclusion. -- Sophist, 20:30:52 05/04/02 Sat

Objectively, you are completely right -- keeping the secret is hurting both Buffy and Spike.

The reason I don't accept the conclusion, is that it's not up to me (or even Spike) to decide what's best for Buffy. Only she can decide that. She may very well be making a mistake, but it's her mistake to make.

Cordy paid a price when the secret came out, but it wasn't harsh and she was a better person when she admitted dating Xander. Let's see what happens with Buffy.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: It's his secret as much as hers... -- Cydney, 08:25:18 05/03/02 Fri

>It made me wonder if she didn't almost want to have him tell -- then she wouldn't have to.

Exactly! Buffy was tired of keeping the secret, unable to tell for fear of her friend's reactions, and dared Spike to tell. If Spike tells, then he is the bad guy.

I think Spike had every right to tell. Buffy asked for it with the "Didn't take you long" comment. She told him to move on, Xander tried to kill him...why shouldn't Spike be able to say what he wants just like the rest of them! Makes him human, not evil.

Anya and Spike connected because they accept each other for what they are. Both have valid complaints about their wholly 'human' consorts.

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: It's his secret as much as hers... -- Claire, 21:30:13 05/05/02 Sun

I actually think Spike's telling the secret was a very human reaction. To use a more human analogy lets say I slept with someone who had recently been dumped at the alter and her ex found out about us and turned up with an ax and started beating me knowing I couldn't fight back. Lets say his exfiance was bisexual and I was a woman and much smaller than the vengeful guy attacking me and I had no real way of defending myself. Anyway if after that he started on the verbal abuse perhaps by impling I smelt or something (which is totally hypothetical BTW) I would respond harshly. I am surprised Spike didn't say more than he did as I would have expected him to boast about his sexual prowess in comparision to Xander etc but he really did seem at rock bottom with no fight left in him (he was practically suicidal). Buffy was the one that needed condemning for standing by whilst Xander was bullying Spike and Anya. If I was in Spike's position and the vengeful fiance was yelling like I wasn't even there "how can you sleep with that disgusting thing, she smells The very idea is sick and you have completely lowered yourself" etc than I would have spoken up. Anyone with an ounce of self-respect would. Put yourself in that psition and ask yourself honestly what you would do?
Personally I cheered when Spike said "it was good enough for Buffy". I'm sure his intention wasn't all noble and about defending Anya. But I think the guy had the right to claim back some self-respect. The relationship had always been on Buffy's terms with her threatening to kill him if he disclosed the secret etc. Not to mention the emotional and physical abuse (although Spike was by no measns blameless there and he does need to take responsibility for encouraging Buffy's darkness in the Bronze scene etc). But then again Spike would have been happy to have a tender, caring relationship as was shown in Afterlife. He was to some extent following Buffy's lead regarding abusive behaviour although he does need to take responsibility for his behaviour just as much as Buffy does.
Anyway my original point was that Spike had every right to disclose the secret. Perhaps he didn't reveal it in the nicest way but I for one don't feel Buffy deserved that sort of consideration. She needs to learn the consequences of messing with peoples emotions and the fact that you can't always just walk away after causing someone else pain. She has been so callous towards Spike's feelings I feel it is time he regained some self-respect and sense of self. And she did dare him to tell everyone bragging about how her friends forgave her for trying to kill them. Spike did have permission to tell in my eyes. Buffy was hardly intimidated by the vampire Spike was rather pathetically threating her with.
And I personally found Buffy's comment "didn't take you long did it" a bit much as well as she was the one telling him to move on as she had no feelings for him. But then she is having a go at Spike for moving on too soon and hurting her feelings. Make up your mind Buffy!

[> [> [> Anya deserves some disgust too... -- Mando, 18:18:02 05/02/02 Thu

Let's not forget tha Anya /immediately/ went back to her old ways before even trying to talk things over with Xander. During the first conversation they had together she was already trying to curse him and/or already had the back up plan to curse him if the discussion did not go how she wanted it to go.

You don't try to cause serious pain to someone you really love, no matter how hurt you are. If she was at all sensitive to Xander's feelings she would have realized that he was hurting about it too. He was not simply trying to be a jerk.

I don't have any problems with Anya sleeping with Spike though. It wasn't like she was doing it to hurt Xander. They had no idea he was watching.

[> [> [> [> Xander walked out, left town, didn't call--how could Anya "talk things out" with him? -- Dyna, 09:34:09 05/03/02 Fri

I don't think it's quite fair to critique Anya for not "trying to talk things out" with Xander. Xander refused to explain himself at the church, walked out, left town, and apparently made no attempt to contact even his closest friends while he was gone. I don't think we know exactly how much time elapsed between "Hell's Bells" and "Normal Again," but it's clear it wasn't just a day or two. At the church, Anya was begging Xander to stay and "talk things out" with her, and he told her that there was nothing to say, it was hopeless, and then disappeared. I hardly fault Anya for concluding that Xander isn't interested in talking things out or trying to resolve their problems.

[> [> [> [> [> I agree. -- yez, 10:05:03 05/03/02 Fri

Anya is completely justified in her anger. It's not true that "you don't hurt the people you love." You *shouldn't* hurt the people you love, but when people are in pain, even if they love each other, they sometimes lash out and hurt the people that they wouldn't hurt under normal circumstances. With communication and understanding, though, sometimes that can be repaired and bring people even close together. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes lashing out for others to really realize the effects of their own actions.

Yeah, I feel bad for Xander who was so caught up in doing things the right way that he didn't realize that he was moving at someone else's pace until it was too late. I understand freaking out about something and not thinking clearly. But he dealt the relationship a major, if not mortal, wound. And he has a lot of work ahead of him to make things work again.

But for him to assume that Anya still considers them together ("our problems") after all that, and to assume he has any right to attack a new lover of hers after what he did is just... it's completely self-centered and absolutely unacceptable and repugnant, and somebody, anybody, should've kicked his ass and put him in his place, IMHO.

yez

[> [> [> RIGHT ON!! -- Spike Lover, 14:35:46 05/03/02 Fri


[> [> Revealing the Secret -- Spike Lover, 14:33:20 05/03/02 Fri

I don't think Spike revealed that he had been banging Buffy in order to hurt Xander, but as self-defense. The scene changed from physical violence to emotional/verbal violence.

With every word X spoke, he was beating Spike. What Spike said- was in his own self-defense, a word that BUFFY should have spoken herself, but did not. Thankfully, it was a strong enough blow to end the verbal abuse.

I think if Spike had really wanted to hurt Xander, he would have said something more like: I may be dead,evil, and soulless, but I have never been so cruel to a woman that I loved by breaking her heart-

Well, something like that anyway. Leaving A at the altar was a low-blow and X knows it.

[> SHOOTING SCRIPTS!!! WIPPIE!!! -- VampRiley, 10:01:30 05/03/02 Fri

Showing my board unity in not believing this deserves it's own thread:

E ntropy

Do uble or Nothing


VR, your friendly, neighborhood god.

[> [> And we thank you... -- Masq, 11:25:44 05/03/02 Fri


[> [> [> My pleasure, luv. -- VampRiley, 19:42:50 05/03/02 Fri

Intelligent deities knows they should make their subjects happy.


VR

[> [> [> [> An for those of us who are playing the home game, which is me,... -- VampRiley, 16:57:16 05/05/02 Sun

Shooting Scripts, part dos.

The Price


VR

[> [> And some interesting bits didn't make the final cut . . . -- Akita, 17:09:40 05/03/02 Fri

Including during the Buffy-Dawn scene after the videocam revelations wherein Dawn jumps to the assumption that
Spike dumped Buffy.

In light of Buffy's many declarations that it is Spike who is beneath her, I think that was a delightful twist -- and funny -- and wish it had been left in.

Akita

[> Jenoff's reviews are up -- trap, 06:45:04 05/05/02 Sun

Some interesting insights this week, worth mulling over, as always.

Here

[> [> I actually agree with his/her? reviews more than usual this week, except... -- Rob, 21:28:06 05/06/02 Mon

...for the negative review of the Troika. I like them (well, not like them like them, but like them as villians, ya know?). Too tired now to go into why I like them, but just wait till my big Buffy season 6 analysis in 3 weeks! ;o)

I also have some differences of opinion regarding character and situational interpretation...but, on the whole, they're very well-written and thought-provoking, as always.

Jenoff has what Jeff Jensen (that awful, awful EW reviewer) doesn't...The ability to provoke me as a reader and thinker. When Jensen gives a reason for disliking an episode, I just get annoyed, not b/c he doesn't like it, but his explanations for why he doesn't like it. When Jenoff does the same thing, I listen...I may completely disagree, but I listen and help formulate my own mental response. Jensen is a reviewer operating on only the first level of comprehension of "Buffy," as a piece of art...Jenoff goes much deeper.

Rob


Is it always necessary to start a new thread on the same topic? -- Masquerade, 18:10:26 05/01/02 Wed

Just a friendly reminder--

Every time a new thread is started (yes, even this one), it increases the likelihood that old threads will be moved into the archives. Please be considerate.

If you just want to post your own reactions to a new episode, post them under a thread that has already been started on that episode. Exceptions are essays and thoughts that bring something new and unique to the discussion.

If you have questions, let me know.

Masq : )

[> Re: Is it always necessary to start a new thread on the same topic? -- Andrew, 18:53:44 05/01/02 Wed

It's also worth pointing out that if you start your own thread you're far less likely to get replies, than if you continue an existing discussion. I mean, look how many 'Entropy' threads there are with few or no replies. ;)

[> [> Yes, and... -- Masq, 19:12:26 05/01/02 Wed

If you attach your post to an existing active thread, it is less likely to be moved into the archives than a new thread without many replies.

[> [> [> Re: Yes, and... -- Cactus Watcher, 20:01:23 05/01/02 Wed

Maybe I'm mistaken, but I'd guess that part of the critera for when voy's software moves theads to the archives 1-5, is the absolute amount of bytes the active part of the board is taking up. Most of us enjoy reading the long essays people put so much time in to post. Could I humbly ask that people replying to posts minimize the amount of cutting and pasting from other posts to emphasize what they are replying to. When everyone does this it takes up a huge amount of space. Generally if we've read the post before we will understand what is being refered to. If it is necessary by all means cut and paste to make yourself clear, but don't waste space unnecessarily.

[> [> [> [> There are actually two criteria -- Masq, 21:22:50 05/01/02 Wed

Total amount of K on the main board and number of threads.

Plus, it just clutters the board.

[> [> [> [> [> I think there's a third criterion -- d'Herblay, 21:59:39 05/01/02 Wed

Based on a quick skim of the FAQ, as well as a dip into the Support Forum, I have concluded that a thread will be archived whenWhat this suggests to me is that while doing a lot of cutting and pasting may hasten threads off the board, so will posting (NT) messages. I think it's a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't situation.

[> Question regarding new threads... -- Ixchel, 22:09:54 05/01/02 Wed

I was unable to reply on my post before it moved, so I posted the above to let those who responded know I appreciated their comments.

I hope this isn't inappropriate use of board space.

If it is, I apologize.

Ixchel

[> [> Re: Question regarding new threads... -- Masq, 09:20:12 05/02/02 Thu

Starting a new thread on a topic that has been archived is O.K. if you want to continue the discussion. I was referring to new threads started on topics which are in threads that are still on the main board. : )

[> [> [> Thanks, Masq. :) -- Ixchel, 11:43:20 05/02/02 Thu


[> Re: Is it always necessary to start a new thread on the same topic? -- Lonesome Sundown, 05:29:06 05/02/02 Thu

Oops, sorry 'bout that new thread yesterday, and for this evil board-space-grabby post :) as well.
Won't happen next time I post.

[> [> Don't let it make you bashful about posting and replying. -- Cactus Watcher, 05:37:53 05/02/02 Thu

Just keep what she said in mind. We want to hear what you have to say.


The 'Because It's Cool' Principle (S6 spoilers up to OMWF) -- Slain, 15:04:28 05/02/02 Thu

This is something I've written partly in response to the character-bashing that's characterised some Season 6 discussion, as well as the specious moral judgements which are often made by viewers, myself included. I haven't seen past 'AYW', incidentally, though I've been thoroughly spoiled for 'Hells Bells' (though my own carelessness!;).

The world of Buffy is full of moral ambiguity: who's good, who's bad, who's bad with the possibility of being good or who's good with the possibility to being bad. But it wasn't always this way; there was a clear moral universe established in Season 1. The preferred reading was humans good, vampires bad. True, a vampire could be good, but really that vampire (Angel) was effectively human. The show was also concerned with certain genre conventions, and with subverting them rather than establishing new ones, so it stuck to this mythology. You were either evil or you were good, and audience was expected to condemn the evil and support the good.

But gradually, since Season 2, this basic idea seems to have been subverted. In Spike and Anya, for example, there are two characters who seems to be in flagrant violation of the morals of the Buffyverse, yet neither are character's we're encouraged to wish dead, like the Master. It's not true that the morals have changed; Spike killing humans is no less evil now than it was three years ago, nor is it any more acceptable for Anya to feel guiltless about a thousand years of havoc. In theory, the show should be condemning Spike, Anya, Xander and many other characters. So why doesn't it, or more specifically why aren't the viewers expected to? Well, because it's cool.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is called Buffy the Vampire Slayer, after all. It's not meant to be taken seriously, or at least not entirely seriously, and we aren't meant to judge everything by the show's specific morality. The moral and metaphysical universe in Buffy isn't fluid, with everything grey and no absolutes. Of course there are absolutes. There is good and there is evil, that's the whole basis of the show. Morals and metaphysics in Buffy are fluid or 'grey' due to the 'Because it's Cool' principle.

A perfect example is Spike. Now, while he's gradually become a more sympathetic character, this wasn't always the case. Up and until Season 5, Spike didn't seem to have any good in him. He was morally reprehensible, a killer with no conscience. Except we were never really encouraged to condemn him, in the way we were Angelus. Firstly, Spike never really seemed to kill anyone, or at least he only ever killed extras. Spike was never going to kill Willow in 'Lover's Walk', and we weren't expecting him to. But he's evil, or at least he definitely was evil. So why aren't we expected to condemn him, and bay for his dust? Because he's cool. Spike might be irrevocably evil, but the idea of a real vampire in love with a Slayer is cool; so, under the principle, we can forget worrying about whether he's a fiend of hell and deserves to be staked. After all, he's cool.

Similarly, take Anya. A thousand years as a vengeance demon whose actions were feminist but still somewhat evil, and now as a human she shows no regret for them. So by rights we should be expected to condemn her; after all, once Angel got his soul back he became the poster-boy for A Tortured Conscience, despite his evil acts having been those of the demon which had taken control of his dead body. But Anya doesn't care, and while it's assumed she should stop maiming, the show doesn't encourage us to think that she should feel any guilt or the need for redemption. Why? Because she's cool: or, more importantly, because the idea that Xander could only find happiness with an immoral ex- demon is cool, too.

Any similar thorny moral issue in the show can be resolved by the 'Because it's Cool' principle, or it's companion, the 'Because that Would Suck' principle. Take the example of Xander, who deliberately summoned up a demon in 'Once More With Feeling' that killed several people and nearly abducted his friend's sister to Hell. He's culpable, no two ways about it. So why isn't he torn up with guilt? Why aren't the viewers expected to want him to pay penance? Well, because that would suck.

In Buffy the Vampire Slayer there are two main forces which dictate the preferred reading of the show: fixed morals (good vs. evil), and an inherent frivolousness (coolness). Sometimes coolness can contradict the morality of the show, where something which is done because it's cool can seem immoral and even a subversion of the very idea of 'fighting the good fight'. But of course the contradiction doesn't matter; coolness is never immoral, but amoral, as it exists apart from the Buffyverse morality. Why? Well, because it's cool.

[> LMAO -- excellent, now I understand EVERYthing. :) -- yez, 15:10:56 05/02/02 Thu


[> That was cool! *lol* -- Deeva, 15:29:11 05/02/02 Thu


[> Well now, you combine this principle with Rufus's 'Magic Clause' and you'd have... -- OnM, 16:31:38 05/02/02 Thu

... ??

OK, I have absolutely no idea what you'd have. But it wouldn't suck. What great and common-sensical insights!

I've always maintained that BtVS owes a great deal to the world of cinema compared to the vast majority of television productions, and where would the 'language of cinema' be without 'cool'?

Thus, you can have explosions, car chases, and Ah-nold growling 'Ahl be backk! and instead of being morally bankrupt or even metaphorically gray, it's 'cool'.

'Come back to the Five & Dime, Jimmy Dean'...

BTW, welcome back to you too, Slain.

:-)

[> [> Uhm, we'd be wearing black leather with our fingers in our ears chanting "la la la la magic clause"? -- The Second Evil, 21:13:56 05/02/02 Thu

Bwahahahaha.

[> [> [> How did you know how I spend my Tuesday evenings?..:):):) -- Rufus, 21:24:01 05/02/02 Thu


[> [> [> [> Well, I've heard about The First Virtue's Black Leather Miniskirt...... -- The Second Evil, 21:30:31 05/02/02 Thu

..... but I'm still waiting for the pictures. Inquiring evils want proof! ;-)

[> [> [> [> [> Too late, I traded my BLMS for a more virtuous outfit .......:):) I have a reputation to keep..;) -- Rufus, 02:31:53 05/03/02 Fri


[> Re: The 'Because It's Cool' Principle (S6 spoilers up to OMWF) -- aliera, 17:39:40 05/02/02 Thu

Enjoyed your post Slain. I was wondering if you think there's any difference in the type or severity of consequences this season as opposed to the previous ones?

[> [> So no one's going to rush to disagree with me? -- Slain, 10:26:20 05/03/02 Fri

aliera, I suppose you could see as consequences as things resulting from immoral (but cool) actions - like they're the morality of the show reasserting itself; kind of "You can't do that. It's wrong!". So more consequences would mean more morals and less cool. But while some things this season have definitely not been cool (drugs aren't cool, kids! Apparently), I don't think there's been a greater stress on morality, it's just that the characters have been strectching the boundaries of what the show would class as 'cool' or amoral.

[> [> [> Nope. ;) -- LittleBit, 11:23:25 05/03/02 Fri

It's really hard to disagree with a theory that gives a reason for some of the seemingly off-the-wall actions and responses we've seen this season. Especially when that reason is just soooo Joss!

Great post, Slain!

[> [> [> Re: So no one's going to rush to disagree with me? -- Masq, 11:47:08 05/03/02 Fri

Hmmm... guess I'm the only one that thought your post was a thinly veiled snarky swipe at the way ME handles the morality of the characters. (If it isn't, I mean no offense).

It's a good analysis. For me, it explains how we get all tied up in knots debating whether Anya, Spike, etc., are "really evil" or "remorseful". They aren't written to be clearly one or the other, not because they are or they aren't, but because it would be a big bummer to watch them if their motives were actually clear.

Must be why I prefer broody Angel. He's morally ambiguous, but you know where he stands, even if he doesn't live up to it all the time.

Welcome back, Slain!

[> [> [> [> Re: So no one's going to rush to disagree with me? -- aliera, 06:16:19 05/04/02 Sat

We tend to analyse the characters as if they were people we know; but perhaps need to ask why the writers are portraying them this way giving them this type of dialogue, etc because that is such an integral part. And also if they are successful in what they are trying to do.

I probably should have come right out and stated that I think there is a difference this season in consequences compared to what we've seen before...the final episodes may change this or clarify what has been happening.

[> [> [> [> Re: So no one's going to rush to disagree with me? -- Jane's Addiction, 05:19:05 05/05/02 Sun

Isn't there a broader thematic explanation for these changes in how characters and their actions are seen?

Hasn't the underlying theme always been about charting the course of these three main characters as they attempt to grow up on the "Hellmouth"? Of course things seemed very black and white the first season - there was good and evil and not much in between. Friends = good, vampires and demons (and perhaps Cordelia) = evil, pretty simple math. On a metaphorical level, Does that not sum up how many of us saw the world as adolescents?

But their world has gotten a bit murkier and more complex with each progressive season. They've been exposed to more characters from different backgrounds and begun to see the shades of grey -- within themselves as much as others.

No, they're not responding to things in exactly the same way that they would've in season one - they're growing and learning more about themselves and the world.

Admittedly, some of the changes have no doubt been influenced by the school of "this will be cool" and "that would suck." After all, This is supposed to be entertaining in the end. But it has all seemed to be based on the show's theme of watching these characters that we've become so fond of growing up and learning to deal with all the complexities of a difficult world.
It's all about the journey - if these 20 and 21 year olds were still responding to everything in the same way that they did when they were 15, would there have been a journey?

As Oz might say, "It's pretty compelling stuff."

[> [> [> [> [> Well said, Jane's Addiction. I agree. -- Ixchel, 18:01:56 05/05/02 Sun


[> Cool, thy name is Slain! -- ravenhair, 18:28:02 05/02/02 Thu


[> Beyond Good and Evil is Cool and Sucky? ;) -- Ixchel, 19:13:53 05/02/02 Thu


[> [> Cool, or cold? -- Cleanthes, 08:09:43 05/04/02 Sat

"So cold, so icy, that one burns one's finger at the touch of him! Every hand that lays hold of him shrinks back! -- and for that very reason, many think him red-hot."
F. Nietzsche, `Beyond Good & Evil`, apophthegm 91 [aside, can anyone, anywhere pronounce the word "apophthegm" without spitting?]

Just a little comment on Spike and "coolness" from the master...


I think Nietzsche's definition of "noble" and the definition of "cool" have much in common. "Coolness" is master morality whilst good and evil are slave morality.

[> [> [> Re: Cool, or cold? -- Ixchel, 16:16:05 05/04/02 Sat

Cleanthes, I must confess I know next to nothing about Nietzsche. I was just trying to be amusing.

Aside: Am I the only person (even though I'm an atheist), who thinks those t-shirts that say "God is dead. - Nietzsche, Nietzsche is dead. - God" are funny?

Ixchel

[> All is now clear... -- LittleBit, 19:36:43 05/02/02 Thu

...the guiding principles of the BuffyVerse:

1. Evil is evil and Good is good unless it is cool to be evil or would suck to be good.

2. Evil deeds are punished except when it would suck to do so, unless it's Buffy in which case good deeds are punished.

3. True chaos results when it's cool to do the sucky thing or it sucks to do the cool thing, regardless of goodness or evilness.

...the non-guiding principles of the BuffyVerse:

1. Flutie - eaten by hyhena-possessed students - sucky

2. Snyder - eaten by newly ascended mayor-snake-demon - cool

:):):)

[> That's the, um, coolest Buffyverse idea I've ever heard! Thanx, Slain, for brightening up the day! -- Rob, 20:31:45 05/02/02 Thu


[> Finally a philosophy I can get behind! -- ponygirl, 06:30:45 05/03/02 Fri


[> I'm going to buck the crowd... -- Darby, 15:00:00 05/03/02 Fri

I'm pretty sure that this isn't really a serious assertion, but I'm going to respond to it as if it were.

I'd read this earlier and was just reading about The Sopranos, when the two collided in my head (there's lots of room in there, but sometimes that happens). Tony Soprano (or Mackey on The Shield) is a type, like Spike or Anya, who we the viewer wind up rooting for and we can feel a little guilty about that. I don't think that it's "cool" - I love James Gandolfini, but Tony ain't cool; what he is is three-dimensional. These characters get inside our heads, they become people whose attractive qualities make us want to minimize their bad traits, they're likeable, dammit, and we don't really want them to be bad. Cool can enter into it, because coolness can equate to likeability, but that's not the whole answer, and I think that linking it all to cool denigrates both the creators of the characters and those who grow attached to them. Think how the opposite works - people get very negative toward Buffy or Dawn, not because they become uncool, but because they go through periods where they're hard to like.

So, whaddya think? I'm taking it too seriously, right - ?

[> [> Tony vs. Buffy -- Slain, 07:43:42 05/04/02 Sat

I agree with your assessment of the Sopranos, Darby, but I don't think you can relate it to Buffy. The Sopranos clearly exists in this world, and furthermore clearly exists in the world of organized crime. Morals aren't something Tony often considers, and, as with most gangster films, the audience enjoys the release from having to condemn criminals.

Buffy is very different, for two reasons; firstly, it doesn't exist in this world, but rather in a world where good and evil are not just vague philosophical concepts. We don't know if Tony's going to go to Hell, but we do know that Buffy went to heaven, and do we know that she saves the world from demons.

Secondly, Buffy isn't serious, and I don't think it works if you judge it by the same standards as a show like The Sopranos. I think Joss clearly feels that it's acceptable to do something because it's cool; how many times has he used that as a reasoning for a plotline or device? Buffy has a fixed morality like only a fantasy world can have, but this morality doesn't dicate everything that happens in the show.

There's nothing denigrating about cool. Of course people like Spike because he's cool, or more accurately because he's buff. But what I'm talking about is the preferred reading of the show, not individual interpretations; you can see which characters are set up as likeable or not.

Being 'uncool' doesn't come into it, because the show is never intentionally uncool. You can't relate this to Buffy or Dawn, because neither of them go against the basic morals of the show. Spike, Anya, Xander, the Mayor and others have, however, yet they haven't been set up as characters we should hate. You can hate them, but the show doesn't expect us to want Anya dead or Spike dusted.

[> [> [> Re: Tony vs. Buffy -- Darby, 10:05:56 05/05/02 Sun

I was with you there at the beginning, even though I disagree - I don't really differentiate between the fictional Jersey and the fictional Sunnydale - to me, some of the physical rules differ, but I don't agree that one is more morally absolute than the other. I personally think that this season of Buffy and Angel are an acknowledgement that the worlds don't differ all that much, but they've been filtering up 'til now through characters who have tended to want a black-and-white world, where heavens and hells and demons are absolutes, but we're being shown that this is no more true than in the Sopranoverse, where similar characters would have similar opinions about criminals.

And I'm not really convinced that this plays significantly into how watchers relate to characters, who on a visceral level are people, whether demon or mobster, if done well enough. And I think that the same basic rules of acceptance work for serious and non-serious shows alike, although it impacts a character's acceptability if a show if only funny or only somber (only the really good shows can tap into the other side and round those characters out).

Somewhere about halfway through, though, you've lost me, so I can't comment on your last points. It seems to be contradicting the earlier points - I'm not sure how breaking some artificial rules system relates to this.

[> Agree on coolness - consistency note on OMWF (Spoilers to Entropy!) -- shadowkat, 19:31:37 05/04/02 Sat

LOL! I completely agree...cool factor! And thank you.
This is the whole pleasure of fantasy tv...people can get away with murder, you can root for them and not feel quilty.
Certainly helps me deal with nasty feelings I have during
the day. ;-)

I think we can take some of the morality issues a bit far - that does not mean that I don't think the show has depth and does not deal with complex issues of morality.

There's a reason behind Xander not paying for the demon - it's consistent with the rest of Season 6. So far no one has paid for the consequences of their actions...well almost no one. They did kill three or four demons, but those don't count. Oh and Tara left Willow...but she does come back. Let's do a tally:

1. Bargaining/Afterlife - Willow kills Fawn, does nasty spell, brings
back humogensis (which by the way also happened when Angel
did his spell in The Price - Wes used same word.) she
doesn't pay for this.
2. Flooded - the Troika summon demon, rob a bank, get away
with it.
3. Life Serial - Troika summon demons, torment slayer
and still get away (SG remains clueless)
4. All The Way - Dawn participates in hurting old man with vampires, old man is never found, she gets away with it
Willow does forgetting spell, and plays with people at
Bronze - Tara cautions her and first mind wipe occurs
5. OMWF - Xander summons demon and it's shrugged off
6. TR; Willow does forgetting spell - her only punishement?
Tara leaves, the others shrug it off
7. Smashed - Troika freeze a guy and get diamond, Willow and
Amy play with people at Bronze
8. Wrecked - More magic playing. Willow does pay for hurting Dawn but not in a major way, in fact everyone seems
to be fairly understanding - only Dawn condemns her for it.
9. Gone - Trioka make Buffy invisible, finally SG catch on,Buffy torments social worker, cop and people in park - shrugged off
10. Doublemeat Palace - well finally someone pays - the penishead lady dies. (an exception)
11. Dead Things - Troika gets away with murder and rape
12. OAFA - venegeance demon gets away with curse, Buffy and
gang release demon in house which injures people they shrug
it off. Dawn steals things - doesn't pay for it until four episodes later. (but we see progress)And I guess locking them all in the house with a demon is punishment?
13. AYW - well Spike pays for the eggs sort of - his place is destroyed. And Buffy does break up with him but she makes it clear it wasn't b/c of eggs. She shrugs off the eggs.
14. Hells Bells - now we see signs of payment but for past crimes. A man anya curses comes back and shows X his worst fears causing him to break up with her...
15. Normal Again - Buffy almost kills her friends, they
shrug it off. Trioka gets away with summoning another demon.
Still aren't taken all that seriously.Or really appear to be held responsible. Although at least they are hunting them. Buffy is avoiding causing her to hurt people.
16. Entropy - they accuse Spike of all people of planting the camera - makes sense, they haven't blamed the Troika for anything up to now, why start? Besides easier to go after demon friend. Xander is still holding spike responsible due to his own dislike of Spike...once again
not taking Troika seriously...Also Troika gets away with it
again! But we see progress on the Dawn front and everyone else seems to be paying in romantic agnst department while
willow is reaping rewards of being a good girl.

So you see - it makes no sense for Xander to pay for summoning the demon - goes against whole theme of shirking responsibility and not being punished. But believe me..karma
does have a way of catching up with you. He'll pay. Soon.

[> [> Re: Agree on coolness - consistency note on OMWF (Spoilers to Entropy!) -- LittleBIt, 07:20:33 05/05/02 Sun

I think the not-paying is also consistent with the current Big Bad. How do you slay yourselves? They are all battling their inner demons. Until forces build up and the inner demons break loose, which I think will happen before season's end (Joss always ties up), they are all avoiding the obvious.

As for the Troika, the scoobies don't seem to respect them any more than they did Harmony. It's as if they simply won't comprehend that someone they once saw as rather inept or pathetic could possibly be a serious danger. I've always wondered what they thought Harmony fed on, Bloody Mary's from Willie's? And while both Jonathon and Warren were first shown as possibly brilliant but pathetic, the degree to which they've been able to play Buffy (Gone, Dead Things) should be eye-opening. Xander should have known better; standard comic-book evil-genius villain is the brilliant but pathetic nerd. And here we have three.

And I know the police are "deeply stupid" but a little crime-stopper hint might have been in order. After all (I know, not a police show) there may have been residual blood traces or fiber matches on the stairs that would match Katrina's. And yes, I know, the medics couldn't figure out Ted was a robot!


All in all, payments will be made, for them all. And, I agree, soon.


Growing Up Alone — Season 6 (non-specifics through Tabula Rasa) -- LittleBit, 16:11:37 05/02/02 Thu

Growing Up Alone — Season 6, non-specifics through Tabula Rasa

This season the arc theme is growing up. We have watched the scoobies struggle with this. And an observation came to mind with light-bulb intensity. Where are the grown- ups?

Buffy, Willow, Xander and Tara are 21 years old. Willow and Tara are juniors in college. Dawn is 15.

Buffy runs a household, is responsible for raising her 15 or 1.5 year-old sister, and, oh, saving the world because it's her calling. Her mother died, tragically, and her father never bothered to see how she was. To our knowledge he has had no contact with her since before she graduated high school. Buffy made certain her mother was safe that day, but didn’t have to do the same for her dad because he wasn't there. She's now responsible for things she never thought she'd live to experience. Actually, she didn’t live to experience them. She was resurrected to deal with them. Is it any wonder that she's made a mess of it? There's no one to guide her; Giles returned to England to force her to live in the world and not allow her to retreat from it. Child Welfare and the school system are both threatening to take her sister away if she isn't immediately successful. Neither are offering any sort of assistance in making the adjustment, just passing judgment on whether she meets their expectations. Saving the world – a lot – was easier.

Willow has two parents who, as far as we know, still live in Sunnydale. Yet they were parents in absentia when she still lived at home, and are essentially non-existent now. What we do know is that while they have little awareness of their daughter, they had a set of rules and expectations or her. The one time her mother took notice of her, she tried to burn her at the stake (while under a spell) and then picked up that Willow was dating a guitar player and then wanted to meet him, but she hadn't noticed Willow had cut her hair months ago. Does Willow seek non-conflict because argument wasn't acceptable? She basked in the love and warmth Tara gave her. Did she panic when conflict arose because the result she had known was the withdrawal of approval? Do her parents even know about Tara? Would they accept her if they did? Her mother seemed quite knowledgeable and involved in the big issues that face the world, in generalized problems and studies, but incapable of being there to form the next generation.

Xander's parents we have met. They are alive and but not reliable. He has spent is entire life rejecting their behaviors. He is gainfully employed and now has his own place, but their spectre looms over him. They are his role models in an opposites way – what they are he doesn't want to be, but he fears that it is all he knows. He looked to Giles as a role model and for approval more than he knew. He uses self-deprecating humor and bad jokes to cover his feeling that he is the least necessary of the group. He speaks before thinking, before considering others' feelings, with mixed results. Sometimes he does say what needs to be said, but it gets lost in the abrasiveness of the presentation. He accuses when he should question. Sometimes, he's just missed the point entirely or been nasty when he should have been quiet. Xander's behavior was closer to his goal when he was in high school than it is now. Have the pressures of work, real world, and a fiancée been too much? He has offered some of the most incredibly compassionate moments and some of the most incredibly callous moments of anyone in the group. But who does he model himself after to learn how to be more compassionate and less callous?

Tara's mother died when she was 17, a couple of years before Tara met Willow. Her father, brother and other family members have rejected her. They tried to tell her that she was unbelievably selfish for not devoting her life to making things comfortable for the men. They had her convinced she would turn into a demon at 18, like her mother, and would have to be controlled which only they knew how to do. Is it any wonder that she is most sensitive to being controlled, having lived with it's threat all her life? It is a wonder that she is able to reach out with the warmth and compassion she has. She and her mother had a bond over magic, she practiced with her since she was little, and admired her mother's power. She had recently lost her when she met Willow and Willow's power was one of the things that attracted her. I think her mother may have been a very caring person, at least to Tara, for Tara to have learned to be so giving and accepting.

Dawn, well, Dawn doesn't have parents. She has the memories of parents and about half a year with Joyce as her mother. Anonymous monks forming a girl from pure energy do not biological parents make. Buffy is all she has, and yet she's unsure of their relationship. It has swung from annoying little sister to learning that she's not her sister to being the instrument that could unleash the destruction of the world with a sister who would sacrifice herself to prevent it. Now they both have to forge a relationship. They aren't just sisters, Dawn has to answer to Buffy, and if she doesn't toe the line, she could be taken away. How could anyone resist rebellion in these circumstances.

Anya and Spike are so far removed from immediate family that there is very little influence remaining, although I do think that Spike's relationship with his mother may have pre- disposed him to like Joyce. We know nothing of his father, and nothing of Anya's parents.

In the absence of any guidance over the past year and a half as the gang moved into their twenties, is it any surprise at all that they are having such difficulty learning who they are, and what they want to be. Is it a surprise that relationships are crumbling as each struggles with their own identity. They are able to talk to one another about some of these things, but not about the deep down, crucial, self- doubting questions. They each need the others to see them as whole, and need to see the others as whole as well. No one wants to confront Willow about the issues that led to her abuse of power, because they would have to address those issues in themselves first (inadequacy, insecurity, need for approval). Everyone wants Buffy to be okay, including Buffy, but they all fear to finds out what makes Buffy tick. She said herself that she needs to know what she is, where her power comes from, and there's no one to guide her in this. Buffy is the lost-est lost puppy I've seen in a long time. Xander can't talk about fears of turning into his father because he fears what the others might tell him. He doesn't want feedback on his behavior, and the others don’t want to challenge him on it because that would call their own behavior into question. Dawn is the one with the greatest struggle for identity — she knows she wasn't real, yet she has all the memories of a real girl, all the doubts of a real girl, all the changes a real girl undergoes in her teens. She is the one who screams for help, then rejects it when offered as not what she wants. Tara is closest to knowing herself, knowing when she has to take action to preserve herself, yet still has no one to help her deal with her own conflicting emotions: how does she deal with Willow, who is as loving and powerful as her mother, and can be as controlling as her father ever tried to be?

Each of them has been blamed for the terrible things they've done this season, except Tara. Buffy has been an inattentive guardian/sister who doesn't know what to do when her efforts are rejected, and has entered into a sado-masochistic relationship with Spike; she has such despair that she doesn't see her own worth, sees only that she makes everything worse, desperately wants something to be wrong with her — something that can be fixed. Willow has been addicted to power, reckless, controlling; she is so afraid of losing the ones she loved that she brought Buffy back from the dead, and put spells on Tara. Xander insisted on asking Anya to marry him, didn't want to tell anyone about the engagement, left Anya at the altar, has been very self- centered seeing the world, and acting on it, from his rather narrow point of view; he's so concerned about his potential behavior that he is unable to see his effect on others. Dawn has rebelled in many ways, doing poorly in school, truancy, shoplifting, stealing from friends, lying about where she is at night; she desperately needs limits and someone to enforce them. If one wants to make the case that if Spike and Anya were to leave all would be well, the issues go far beyond two relationships that may be found questionable. The troika should not be left out of this discussion either. Warren and Jonathon were in the same class as Buffy, Willow and Xander. Andrew was one of their classmate's younger brothers. They formed as a group originally because they were all outcasts, the ones that didn’t fit in. They began their quest to be Buffy's arch-nemesis and rule the world as if they were suddenly in their favorite sci-fi movies. Their approach has little to differentiate it from playing games except that the toys can do serious damage and the action takes place in the real world. They take no responsibility for the damage they do or the people they harm, just gloat that they got away with it; all three know right from wrong, all three choose to disregard this. Warren leads, Andrew follows, Jonathon is trying to grow up.

Fingers have been pointed at Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Xander, Anya and Spike. If there is blame to placed for the chaos of this season, I would like to offer a 'target' of sorts. Hank Summers, The Rosenbergs, The Harrises, Mr. Maclay, and yes, Giles. How much time did Giles give Buffy to get on her own two feet, adjust to being resurrected, learn how to manage a home, mother Dawn, get a job to support them both? Five weeks? Six weeks? Two months? And also, parents we don't know at all: Warren's, Jonathon's (who weren't able to keep him from wanting to kill himself), Andrew's (who allowed his brother Tucker to somehow keep devil dogs in the basement). These are the adults who would normally still play a fairly significant part in the growth of these young adults, the ones who should be their mentors, their mirrors, their sounding boards, their guides. They have abandoned and neglected their charges. No one in a legitimate position to help has reached out to anyone, and while it's questionable whether any of the group would accept an offer if it was made, these are times when parenting gets tough. Someone needs to intervene and be Teflon-resistant to rejection.

How can we expect the gang to succeed at growing up this quickly all by themselves? All of them need someone who can see them as themselves, accept the flaws and then help them work through to become the outstanding person each of them has the potential to be. As Cordelia once said, "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." [Killed by Death]. Parents and mentors must also pass on this, because they must address the issues, and help in resolution.

Or maybe Joss just doesn't want authority figures in his BuffyVerse. ;)

Looking forward to your comments. :)

[> 'Hell's Bells' spoiler in the above post ;-) -- Slain, 17:00:31 05/02/02 Thu

Great essay, LittleBit! While it's true that character in Buffy do seem to suffer from that lack of parents, you could say that the message of Buffy is that friendship is often stronger than family. Joyce and Dawn are exceptions, but the show does seem to be saying that you make your own authority figures: that those provided to you by society don't often work. That might just be a way of cutting down on the number of characters, but I think not.

[> [> Dang! I meant to take that line out.. ;p on me -- LittleBit, 17:09:25 05/02/02 Thu


[> Re: Growing Up Alone — Season 6 (non-specifics through Tabula Rasa) -- Drizzt, 19:10:17 05/02/02 Thu

Wow!
Loved your post Littlit:)

Hopefully I succeed in my goal; I want to arrive in the Buffyverse at the beginning of The Crush from season 5, then repair that blood vessal in Joices brain. I would also give the Scoobies all the eps of season six & seven; this would let them see a possible future...give them an oppertunity to make better/different decisions. Also give them a different perspective on their life;)

[> [> Re: Growing Up Alone — Season 6 (non-specifics through Tabula Rasa) -- gds, 19:25:31 05/02/02 Thu

I too have thought about the effects of magically appearing in the Buffyverse complete set of videos in hand, but I picked a different time to intervene - when they discovered the arm of the Judge.

[> [> [> Criteria for Buffyverse arrival... -- Drizzt, 20:56:19 05/03/02 Fri

Ummm

I have good reasons for the ep I picked as a desirable point in time to arive in the Buffyverse.

I would not want to arrive any time before season 5; Dawn does not exist before season five. Imagine how much WORSE Dawn's identity crisis would be if all of the Scoobies know she will be created in the future from there perspective; at the moment of her creation they would allready have had two years(?) to think about her and judge her for what she has not done yet if I showed them eps of the show in the time period of The Judge ep. Whoo! that was long.

Ok, also I would not want to arrive before Dawn finds out she is the Key; Blood ties. Would make her identity crisis WORSE than the show if she found out there is a show about her sister before she found out she is the KEY... Also Blood Ties was an important ep for Dawn and Buffy to become emotianaly closer. Also Dawn confronting Glory was EXTREMELY dangerous; if I arrived before then and events did not proceed as in the ep for whatever reason, maby Glory would hurt/kill Dawn or another of the Scoobies. In the case of things going bad in the confrontation with Glory I would have to interfere to help out, but it would still be a risky situation due to Glory being VERY fast and the confrontation had a lot of people in a small room; combat in close quarters is a recipy for accidental injury of allies, and is just plain aukward and dangerous compaired to having manuevering room.

Again, I want to repair the blood vessal in Joices Brain; Cannot arrive after the first night of the ep "I Was Made to Love You" without running the risk of Joice ALLREADY being dead when I arrive in the Buffyverse.

I can arrive at the ending scene of Blood Ties to the first scene of I Was Made to Love You and still be in acceptical timeframe for my criteria.

Specifically why I want to arrive in the begining of The Crush is the third scene; college. Buffy, Willow, and Tara are discussing a book they read, then Buffy sees the front page of the Sunnydayle newspaper. On the front of the paper is an article about five deaths by vampires at the train station. Buffy steals the newspaper, reads the article, then says "..., Survay says vampire" I want to be the person sitting in the chair reading the paper, then hopefully Buffy will steal MY newspaper, then I want to stand up, yell "You stole my newspaper!", then pinch her niple untill she apologizes for stealing from me...

He He

SmorgasBorQ
Drizzt...Drow Warrior, Philosopher, Mage
Never be satisfied with easy answers.

[> [> Done. -- skeeve, 08:22:52 05/03/02 Fri

Well, not yet.
Still, there are two, count 'em, two, vengeance demons hanging around the Scoobies. Maybe someone will say "I wish Joyce were still here." Giles coming back for a surprise visit would raise the odds considerably.

[> Delurking to say great essay. Totally agree with your assessments. -- Artemis, 21:36:49 05/02/02 Thu


[> growing up alone: buffy (somewhat long) -- anom, 12:48:59 05/03/02 Fri

"Everyone wants Buffy to be okay, including Buffy, but they all fear to finds out what makes Buffy tick. She said herself that she needs to know what she is, where her power comes from, and there's no one to guide her in this. Buffy is the lost-est lost puppy I've seen in a long time."

I've been thinking about this for a while, since early in the 6th season. Buffy was quite clear after her encounter w/Dracula that she needed to learn more about what he had said, to understand what relation her powers might have to the darkness she fights. She was disturbed by what he had said, but she seemed quite willing, if not eager, to pursue it.

Then the matter seemed to be dropped. Dawn showed up literally out of nowhere, Glory became a threat, & Joyce was diagnosed w/a life-threatening tumor. All these could certainly be seen as legitimate distractions from Buffy's quest to learn her true nature, but they may also be symbols of it. Dawn: When you start questioning who you are, you may look around at people you think you know, people you've known your whole life, & wonder who they really are too. Glory: You may run into real-life (well, real in Buffy's life) examples of how much darkness can be hidden in someone who seems like a nice, friendly, attractive person. Joyce: You realize that the people you count on to always be there won't always be. How much of who you are depends on them? Who would you be without them? And it makes you realize, in a way even a Slayer w/a low life expectancy may not have before, that you really will die some day--& you have no idea when.

What does Buffy need to do to learn the source of her power? Does it involve feeling as though evil--internal (a power rooted in darkness) or external (Glory)--threatens her & everyone she loves? As though she can't hold back that dark power, & that it's her fault (she couldn't stop Glory & went catatonic, believing she'd killed Dawn)? As though her universe is falling apart? As though she--her former self?-- has died? Or is dying a way of running away from the threat to her universe? And if it does enable her to get away, maybe that felt like heaven...while it lasted.

But it didn't. Buffy has to come back to her world & grow up alone. What do people do in trying to face their inner darkness, to know themselves fully, to come into their own? They may feel bereft, try to protect the feelings of those around them, find the very person they turn to for guidance can't be there to provide